I used to have a heart too

He wasn’t jealous of Selene’s environment, where she could play the piano to her heart’s content, unlike him, but was jealous of the piano that would monopolize her affection and attention.
‘Jealousy?’
‘Of a piano?’
Theron let out a breath in disbelief.
To feel such an emotion towards an inanimate object, not a person.
Come to think of it, it wasn’t the first time.
He had experienced a similar feeling towards a mole.
And yet, Theron couldn’t conclude that it was simply an immersion in the situation of having to seduce Selene, or because her face was unusually pretty, as he had before.
It was because, after meeting Selene these days, he found himself mulling over her laughter-filled voice or the pupils in her curved eyes more than her beautiful face or excellent figure.
As his thoughts grew longer, Theron felt his insides heat up.
In the end, even though it was an autumn day approaching winter, he took off his jacket and walked the streets with it draped over his arm.
Since he hadn’t brought his car out in a long time, he planned to walk a bit to cool his confused head before going in.
Theron passed through the crowded streets.
Even if he wanted to buy something, he rarely looked for cigars or alcohol these days, so there was no place to stop by.
To go to the department store to buy clothes was a bit far from here.
Then, a shop selling women’s pipes caught his eye.
The image of Selene, holding a slender pipe in her mouth on the terrace of the mansion and puffing out smoke, was naturally drawn in his mind.
‘Should I get her one as a gift?’
The pipe displayed in the shop was silver with an unassuming design, and the thought of Selene holding it and languidly exhaling smoke was lewd just by imagining it.
But he soon shook his head.
He was wasting his precious time on the streets to get away from Selene Ashcombe, yet he was thinking of her so quickly.
“Theron Cox…?”
Just as Theron was trying to ignore it and pass by the shop, a voice that recognized him was heard nearby.
When he turned his head, he saw a middle-aged man wearing a fedora.
‘Oh.’
Theron immediately recognized him.
Dark skin, black lips and eyes; he didn’t know many immigrants in the empire.
It was Dominic, the part-time pianist who had taught Theron the piano at the pub.
“Teacher.”
“Hahaha! I thought I saw wrong, but it really is you!”
Dominic smiled warmly and hugged Theron.
Theron was still surprised to have run into him by chance, whom he had not seen once since leaving the pub.
Theron, who had not yet composed his dazed face, asked slowly, “Have you been well all this time?”
“Me? Well. I’m still playing the piano, wandering here and there.”
“I see…”
The treatment of immigrants in the empire was not good.
At least the Ashcombe ducal family was very interested in that discrimination and tried to improve it, and recently their position had improved a little compared to before.
‘Damn it, my thoughts end with Ashcombe again.’
Theron quickly erased the shadow of Selene from his mind.
“By the way, I’ve heard a lot of news about you. You’ve established yourself very well.”
“I still have a long way to go.”
At Theron’s answer, Dominic smiled.
“Seeing you so mature reminds me of your younger self. At that time, you had an innocent and emotional side that is unimaginable now.”
‘…I was emotional?’
He understood that he had an innocent side since he was 13 when he first met Dominic, but he couldn’t particularly agree with the statement that he was emotional.
“Aren’t you misremembering something? The word ’emotional’ has been far from me, then and now.”
“A lot of time must have passed. Seeing as you don’t remember your own childhood better than I do.”
Dominic opened his eyes quietly, as if recalling an old memory.
“Yes, on Friday nights, there was a customer who would bring a bouquet of roses to the pub. Fresh, bright red flowers. Cox, you would look at those roses as if they were something out of this world, and always ask me if you could take just one.”
‘Me…?’
Dominic’s words sounded foreign to Theron.
So much so that he wondered if he was talking about someone else.
It wasn’t clear, but upon careful reflection, it seemed there had been such a moment.
“The expression on your face when you looked at the roses was as happy as if you were in love. You even always placed the single stem you received on the piano when you were learning from me.”
Dominic’s eyes were shining, making it impossible to think he had misremembered due to old age.
Then, after checking Theron’s ambiguous expression, he laughed.
“You look like you don’t remember.”
“…Yes, well. It was a long time ago.”
“It’s understandable. It wouldn’t have been a place with only good memories for you. Do you still have pain in your injured finger?”
Dominic’s gaze turned to Theron’s hand.
A faint bitterness was in his shining eyes.
“It doesn’t hurt if I’m still. It’s not to the point where I can play the piano again.”
“That’s a pity. You looked so happy when you played the piano.”
“…It’s in the past.”
Dominic patted Theron’s shoulder as if to comfort him as he trailed off.
“Still, it’s good to see you doing so well. If you work hard, the day will come when you find another romance.”
‘Romance…’
Theron unconsciously mulled over that word.
That word, which was as distant from him as the word ’emotional,’ sounded strangely distant.
And yet, an unknown longing spread quietly in his heart.
Somehow, his chest fluttered, and Theron had to force himself to compose his expression and move his feet that had stopped.

Winter came abruptly.
Frost settled on the window sills in the morning, and the flowers in the garden, the pride of the ducal estate, began to return to the earth.
Selene, who was standing at the entrance, exhaling white breath as if feeling that winter, tightened her coat once more as the car waiting at the main gate stopped.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright alone?”
“Yes.”
Selene nodded at Gwendolyn’s worried question.
“I want to go alone this year.”
Selene had decided to visit her parents’ grave today.
The anniversary of her parents’ death was around the time when the cold winter, with its pale air and white breath, approached, just like now.
Gwendolyn had accompanied her to that lonely place every year, but for some reason, Selene wanted to go alone this year.
Although Evelyn made a fuss every year about going with her, there was also a reason why she had to be the only family member to visit the grave on the anniversary.
It was something of an unwritten rule of the Ashcombe ducal family.
Strictly speaking, since the relationship between Uncle Orlando and her grandmother had soured, the Ashcombe bloodline was not allowed to gather in one place.
They didn’t even leave a chance to run into each other.
After all, if they ran into each other, only a bad atmosphere would flow.
Because of that, they had decided to pay their respects individually, and Selene had no particular complaints about that.
“We’re leaving, my lady.”
As Selene gave a small nod, the car’s wheels started to roll.
Although she had decided to go alone, the sky was unusually cloudless today, creating a lonely atmosphere.
“…”
As she silently looked at the barren scenery, Theron suddenly came to mind.
Come to think of it, Theron had never talked about his parents in detail.
He hadn’t told her what his past was like either.
It might be information she could get by reading articles about Theron or asking other people, but Selene had lost interest because she didn’t feel like finding out that way.
But now, Theron Cox, who had kept his mouth shut as if he were secretive, became annoying, because while practicing the piano, she had unintentionally recalled the lewd act they had done on that chair.

“I told you… I hope you’ll think of this moment when you play the piano here.”

In the end, it turned out as he had wished.
Ever since then, whenever she played the piano, Selene would think of Theron and their act that day, as if she were under the spell of a dark magician from a novel.
At first, her mood would get strange every time, and she couldn’t concentrate on her playing, but as time passed, her piano sound became richer, knowingly or unknowingly, just as Theron had emphasized it was for inspiration.
To admit it now, that day had become a very good ingredient.
An ingredient for producing a rich sound.
Selene felt as if she were being compensated for the time she had wasted after fighting with Theron at the zoo.
She had gained as much as she had lost, so it could be said to have turned out well.
That’s why Selene couldn’t coldly push away Theron Cox, no matter how much he acted like a pervert or a beast.
And she couldn’t cut him off, even if Theron occasionally threw a stone into her calm day and caused a crack.
‘Because it helps the piano.’
Nevertheless, there were times when the occasionally mysterious Theron felt strange.
Aspects like having a wary look when talking about the piano, or being overly secretive about himself.
She didn’t like it.