An Encounter

The gleaming edge of the greatsword grew closer, and closer. At this distance, Ewan finally noticed that the scarred man wasn’t using the blade’s edge, but the flat of the blade, just as he himself had done against Anne.

Even after I punched him that hard, he only wants to knock me out?

He’s so kind, it brings a tear to my eye… wait, now is not the time for that! If this keeps up, I’m really going to be knocked out and forced to become this terrifying, bear-shaped creature’s (male) bandit bride!

I absolutely do not want that ending!

But just as he was racking his brain and coming up with absolutely no solutions, he suddenly heard a gentle, melodic chant, a sound so beautiful and full of hope it almost brought him to tears.

“Benevolent Mother Earth, I beseech you, grant me your protection…”

A warm, earthy yellow light enveloped his body. The flat of the steel blade slammed against it, letting out a dull, heavy thud, but it couldn’t penetrate the shimmering barrier in the slightest.

“This is—”

The scarred man’s cheek twitched. He looked up, his gaze finally falling upon the young woman he had so foolishly and completely ignored until now.

“Are you interfering with my happy occasion?”

“This is the price for ignoring a mage, you oaf,” the young woman said, gently waving her wand, a playful, mocking smile on her lips. “Besides, I don’t think kidnapping a maide… a man… is a very happy occasion.”

“Damn it.”

The scarred man couldn’t help but grit his teeth in frustration.

I should have dealt with this woman first!

“You lot! Go take care of that little wench!” he roared at his underlings.

But no one answered.

He looked back in shock and saw that his loyal, professional bandits A, B, C, and D were all lying on the ground, fast asleep.

“Did you really think I would be as foolish as you?” The young woman winked playfully. “Getting straight to the point without any unnecessary chatter is an essential quality for an excellent mage, you know.”

“You’re a lifesaver!”

Ewan, having been snatched from the very jaws of a deeply humiliating defeat, laughed heartily, wanting nothing more than to hug the young woman and give her a big, sloppy kiss. He didn’t let the opportunity go to waste. Seizing the moment while the scarred man was still raging impotently, he delivered another perfect, beautiful uppercut squarely to his jaw.

“Defense Enhancement.“

“Speed Enhancement.“

“Battle Aura Recovery Enhancement.“

“Reaction Enhancement.“

“…” The scarred man had barely staggered back a few steps when more than a dozen powerful enhancement buffs were cast on Ewan in a single, seamless, and dazzling flow. For a moment, he was bathed in a brilliant rainbow of light, looking like the most dazzling, and very naked, dancer in a high-class nightclub.

“I feel… so full of power.”

Ewan clenched his fists, unable to suppress the manic, giddy excitement in his eyes.

So this is the absolute joy of having a top-tier support mage? You could tie a rabid dog to me and I’d still be unstoppable!

With this kind of backup, what did he have to fear from this muscle-headed pervert?!

“Haha, let’s continue!”

Suddenly feeling as if he were invincible, a god among men, Ewan didn’t hesitate any longer. He raised the heavy greatsword and, with a wild, bloodthirsty cry, charged at the scarred man.

The scarred man raised his own blade to defend, desperately looking for an opening to counterattack. But Ewan gave him no such chance. His moves were wide, powerful, and completely, utterly unpredictable.

—In short, he was just swinging wildly like a madman.

Although he had no technique to speak of, there was an old saying: “A flurry of random punches can beat an old master.” And with the help of all those powerful, god-tier buffs, he actually managed to force the scarred man back, step by agonizing step.

“Is that all you’ve got? Is that it?! And you wanted to make me your bandit bride?! Are you dreaming?! Why don’t you take a piss and look at your own reflection! Are you even worthy of a single, glorious leg hair of the handsome and invincible Ewan Campbell?! HUH?!”

“…” Watching the naked blond man, his eyes glowing with a feral green light, hacking away at him with increasing, terrifying vigor, the scarred man suddenly began to question his own sexual orientation.

He liked perverts, yes.

But this naked blond man… wasn’t he a little too perverted?

Looking at the two of them now, who was the real bandit here?!

“Damn it! You win this time!”

Seeing that the situation was no longer in his favor, the scarred man was nothing if not decisive. He immediately beat a hasty retreat, completely abandoning his own men as he turned and fled.

“Just you wait! I’ll be back, my beauty! Ewan Campbell, right? I’ll remember that name!” the scarred man shouted over his shoulder as he disappeared into the dense, dark forest.

“Hey, wait.”

Ewan’s hand froze in mid-air.

“He runs that fast?”

Watching the scarred man’s back vanish in the blink of an eye, Ewan scratched his cheek, unsure if he should give chase.

“I’d advise you to give up on that idea.”

The young woman had, at some point, appeared at his side, her expression unreadable.

“Eh, why? Isn’t now the best time to finish him off?” Ewan asked, not wanting a gay man with a grudge to be constantly lusting after his body.

“Three.”

The young woman didn’t answer, simply stating a number.

“Two.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“One.”

The moment she finished speaking, Ewan’s pupils shrank.

His body suddenly felt as if all its strength, all its vitality, had been violently drained, and he collapsed to the ground in a boneless heap. A wave of overwhelming, soul-crushing fatigue, like a tsunami, washed over him.

“This… this is…”

“Enhancement magic may boost your combat power and block out pain, but your stamina and your body are still your own. Using them so recklessly, of course your body wouldn’t be able to take it,” the young woman said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh, so that’s what it is.”

Ewan let out a sigh of relief and gave up the struggle, lying back on the cold, damp ground.

“I thought someone had poisoned me again.”

“Why would you think someone would poison you upon your first meeting?” the young woman tilted her head, a look of genuine confusion on her face.

“Haha, well, that’s a long story.” Ewan laughed it off, not elaborating further.

“…”

“…” An awkward, and very naked, silence fell between them.

After a moment, Ewan was the first to break it. “Um… miss?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes?”

“This may be a bit sudden, but could you please get a set of clothes from one of those unconscious bandits for me? I’m suddenly feeling a little cold,” said Ewan, who had been naked for several long, traumatic days.

“No,” the young woman refused, her tone firm and unwavering.

“Why not?” Ewan’s eyes widened. “Is it that hard?”

“No.” The young woman turned away, a faint blush on her cheeks. “It’s just that my mother told me from a young age not to get close to perverts.”

“I’m not a pervert! Why can’t you get close to me?!”

“Wandering around naked in the middle of nowhere. If that’s not a pervert, what is?”

“There’s a reason for that! It’s because some evil, wicked woman stole all my clothes!”

“Doing it… outdoors? You city folk are really something else.” The young woman took a few subtle, but very deliberate, steps back. “This is bad. I really shouldn’t get close to you. I might get pregnant. I have a lover, you know. If I were to be defiled by you, what would I do? Waaah…”

“You’re the one who’s not right in the head, saying things like that!” Ewan retorted, on the verge of tears.

But before he could say anything else, his vision went dark as a smelly animal-skin skirt was unceremoniously thrown onto his face.

“Thank you.”

Ewan forced his aching body to its feet and wrapped the skirt around his waist.

“Huh?”

He looked down at his current appearance and couldn’t help but stroke his chin. Although it covered the important parts, something felt… off.

It kind of looked like… a naked apron.

No, no, that must be my imagination. An animal-skin skirt and an apron are two completely different things. And those bandits were all smaller than me, so I can’t wear their clothes. This will have to do for now.

“In any case…”

Confident that he had now cleared himself of any and all suspicion of being a pervert, Ewan held out a hand to the young woman and smiled his most charming smile. “Let me introduce myself. My name is Ewan. For now, you can consider me… an unemployed vagrant.”

“My name is Elka.”

After staring at his hand for a long, contemplative moment, as if to confirm that it was not contaminated with any perverted aura, the young woman—no, the young married woman—finally shook it.

“Former adventurer, currently in training as a newlywed wife.”