The Sealed Dark Dwarfs Exodia

Back when I first woke up, I thought I was dreaming, so I sent my unfiltered, idiotic thoughts straight to Yanagi-sensei via text. I remember saying, “Yanagi-sensei, rather than playing Snow White, I’d actually prefer to see you in a frilly princess dress as Snow White.”

And now, since it wasn’t a dream, Yanagi-sensei had obviously received that message.

Oh god, this was so embarrassing…

This was, without a doubt, the most embarrassing thing I had ever done in my life—besides shouting “Mom!” at the girl I liked and face-planting into Exusiai’s chest when I was trying to comfort her.

I hereby dub this Embarrassing Moment Number Three!

Seeing my face turn beet red, Yanagi-sensei’s foxy, pretty face broke into an even wider grin. Her captivating, slightly crimson-cornered eyes curved into crescents as she looked at me. “Kiriko-san, I’m very happy that you want to see your teacher in a frilly princess dress, but the rules for this stage play say that only students can perform. Even if I wanted to… satisfy you, there’s nothing I can do~”

I decided not to dwell on why Yanagi-sensei used a word as suggestive as “satisfy.” To protect my dream of becoming a Gang Star, I seized this golden opportunity. “Sensei, why do I have to be the one to play Snow White?”

Yanagi-sensei’s soft, white fingers toyed with a curl of hair by her ear. She glanced at Exusiai with a smile. “You’ll have to ask your dear friend Exusiai, who’s close enough to you to sleep in the same bed.”

“Huh?!” I froze, not quite processing it. Yanagi-sensei crossed her legs like a lady of leisure and continued, her voice full of amusement. “The person in charge of the play this time is your classmate, Rei. She felt that Exusiai’s looks and temperament were a perfect fit for the Prince, so she approached her privately yesterday to ask if she would be willing to cross-dress for the role. But Exusiai told Rei, ‘I won’t be the Prince unless you make Kiriko the Princess.’ So, the result is obvious. You’re Snow White, and Exusiai is the Prince.”

My jaw dropped. I stared at Exusiai, who had started sticking her tongue out and acting cute again. I was furious.

“So it was you! You’re the one who brought Snow White into this?! Stop sticking your tongue out and acting cute! Even if you stuck your tongue into my mouth, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t… I might consider forgiving you! You knew about this the whole time and you still acted so innocent when you saw the message on your phone! Your life is a stage, and you’re the lead actor!”

I glared at the scoundrel, watching as she laughed sheepishly and scratched her handsome face with her index finger. Just then, I felt a smooth little foot brush against mine. Exusiai and I were crammed into the same blanket. It wasn’t my foot, so it could only be hers.

Under the covers, she rubbed the top of my foot with the soft, sticky-rice-like sole of her foot, her nimble toes even teasing the edge of my foot, as if apologizing through this intimate gesture.

I, Kiriko, a man of iron will, would certainly not be swayed by such a small temptation. I turned my head away, still puffing out my cheeks in anger. And then I felt Exusiai hook her slender leg around mine under the blanket. I could even feel the fine, springy tendons under the skin in the crook of her knee. The intimate gesture, as if we were tangled together for life, made my face flush completely red. I shot her a furtive glare, my eyes saying, I’m not mad anymore, so stop playing around, it’s embarrassing with Yanagi-sensei right here.

Exusiai winked back with her ruby-red eye, as if to say, Got it. I’ll play with you next time, when Sensei isn’t around.

That’s not what I meant!

Putting Exusiai’s issues aside for a moment, I suddenly remembered what Yanagi-sensei had said. The person in charge of the play was our classmate, Rei.

In fact, this Rei was the girl I’d had a crush on all this time. The same girl who had rejected me under the cherry blossom tree before I could even say a word.

If she was in charge of this play and I was playing Snow White… didn’t that mean a fine young man like myself would have to wear a frilly princess dress and silky stockings in front of the girl I liked?!

Oh god, if that really happened, I think the ranking of my life’s most embarrassing moments would have to be completely rewritten.

While my face was burning, Yukino, wearing only a loose black T-shirt that revealed her delicate collarbones, asked Yanagi-sensei in her soft, snow-like voice, “Sensei, there are only a few main roles in Snow White. With so many people in our class, why did all the roles go to our dorm?”

Hearing this, Yanagi-sensei’s smile widened. She swung her feet, which were in plain flat shoes, and crossed her arms under her much fuller chest. “You’ll have to ask your friend Artoria next to you about that.”

Artoria was Saber.

Remembering Exusiai’s stunt, Yukino’s pretty, dark eyes immediately went wide. She grabbed Saber’s shoulders and started shaking her with all her might. “Spill it! What kind of degenerate thing did you do?!”

The beautiful English girl was shaken back and forth, her golden hair flying wildly. But Saber herself was on the verge of tears.

“Yesterday, Rei came to me and asked if I wanted to be in the Snow White play,” she wailed. “I thought, with my looks, if I’m not the Prince, I’ve got to be Snow White. And whether I’m the Prince or the Princess, there’s a kissing scene involved. So I gave Rei one condition. I told her I’d do it, but all the main story characters had to be cast from our dorm. At that point yesterday, I figured it didn’t matter who I kissed, as long as it was someone from our dorm, I wouldn’t be losing out. I never thought… I never thought… I’m supposed to play the Seven Dwarfs?! This is ridiculous! How am I supposed to play seven dwarfs by myself?! Am I supposed to do it like a puppet show? My left wrist is one dwarf, my right wrist is another, my head is another dwarf, my left foot is a dwarf… if I gather seven dwarfs, can I summon King Arthur?! What kind of sealed Exodia of the Dark Dwarfs is this?!”