Chapter 4: To Meet You

I still remember it vividly.

The sudden visit, the unexpected request for advice that felt like a riddle, and the way he kindly shared his thoughts with me.

Looking back, his words weren’t difficult to understand. No, they were words that anyone could have said.

After all, he wasn’t a professional therapist, and he wasn’t some incredible person who could present a groundbreaking solution to my problems. That might sound a bit rude, but it’s true.

However, I think the reason his words resonated so deeply with me was precisely because they were simple.

They were simple words, yet no one had ever said them to me before. Not even my parents, my brother, or even my closest confidant, Secretary Kim.

To summarize, he simply told me that I was okay.

That I wasn’t an empty person, and that I was only deceiving myself into thinking I was empty by constantly comparing myself to others. He said everything I’ve achieved so far is proof that I’m not empty.

He told me to keep doing the things I find enjoyable, the things I want to do, and to live life that way.

It was only then that I realized.

No one had ever told me, “It’s okay.”

In that sense, he was a truly remarkable person.

It wasn’t just some irresponsible, cliché advice. He genuinely empathized with and understood my feelings, and then casually said the very words I had perhaps unconsciously been waiting for someone to say.

【lsh0306】 – Koha!

You’ve come back again today? Thank you.
Since that day, I’ve found myself visiting his broadcast every night.

Because in front of him, I don’t have to be Ryu Seoha.

With a name tag that said ‘STAFF’ pinned to my chest, I entered the party venue with a trembling heart.

I’ll have to give Secretary Kim a bonus later for finding me a spot where my identity wouldn’t be revealed. As expected, he’s reliable.

Thump. Thump.

It’s strange. I’ve never felt nervous even in front of a room full of executives and employees, yet just the thought of meeting someone makes my heart race like this.

As I felt my heart quietly pounding in my chest, a woman rushed over to me in a rather urgent manner.

“You’re the staff member who came to help with the party today, right? Please come this way!”

“Yes.”

And so, I go to meet you.

To let you know just how grateful I am to you.

December 24th.

I arrived at a club in Seoul, the venue for a Christmas and year-end celebration party for streamers.

“…Whew.”

As I alternated between looking at the invitation I’d just received in the mail yesterday and the building, my already anxious heart began to pound even harder.

This might seem like just an ordinary invitation to someone else, but it holds significant meaning for me.

After all, my initial goal when I first started streaming was to be invited to a Twip party.

Receiving an invitation from the platform meant that they recognized me as someone worth acknowledging, and that felt like earning a badge of honor. I had always wanted to experience it at least once.

Although I’m still not on the same level as the others, just being in the same space as the streamers I’ve only seen online is already quite emotional.

“Welcome!”

As I steeled my resolve and stepped into the entrance of the club, a female employee guarding the door greeted me with a smiling face.

Behind me, there were others in line, and the people entering ahead of me were all familiar-looking streamers I had seen at least once.

Wow, I feel intimidated.

Trying my best not to seem out of place, I handed over the physical invitation I had received.

Since I wasn’t as famous as the other streamers, the employee looked at me with a slightly uncertain expression. But after verifying my identity through the QR code on the invitation, she finally smiled.

“You’re confirmed. Welcome, Cosmo Partner.”

“Yes, thank you.”

She handed the invitation back to me and rummaged through a small basket beside her, then pulled out something that resembled an amusement park entrance wristband and fastened it around my wrist.

Having successfully earned my right to enter, I walked further inside. As it was originally a club, the atmosphere was rather dim, though the lighting was particularly flashy.

“Wow! Hanyang, long time no see!”

“Oh, who’s this? Isn’t it Nudang?!”

When I arrived at the first-floor hall filled with streamers, I saw a variety of people.

Since most of them had either collaborated before or at least greeted each other in passing, many were exchanging warm greetings, hugging, or shaking hands.

Here I am, standing alone like a loser. I really should’ve networked more beforehand.

But it couldn’t be helped. I wasn’t serious about game streaming, and most of my broadcasts consisted of just chatting with viewers, so I hardly had any opportunities to connect with other streamers.

Even when I occasionally played games due to viewer requests, it was mostly solo-playing of major console games or content that allowed viewers to participate.

Actually, that’s just an excuse. The truth is, I just find meeting people exhausting.

I had even received a few collaboration requests but ended up declining all of them.

“Guys! The food here is amazing! The quality is insane!”

“Alright, alright, but could you at least not talk with your mouth full? How old are you…!”

As I went up to the second floor, I was greeted by a space set up like a dining area.

In one corner, a man was aggressively eating while his phone was propped up in front of him. His voice was familiar, so I looked closely and realized it was Pandabear, one of Twip’s top streamers.

Wow, I’ve watched his streams a lot too. His witty banter, reactions, and down-to-earth charm make his broadcasts incredibly entertaining.

I couldn’t help but feel the urge to ask for an autograph, but seeing as he was in the middle of eating, I couldn’t muster up the courage. Besides, someone like me, a low-tier streamer, didn’t have the right to approach someone like him.

“They’re all doing live broadcasts…”

As I looked around for a while, I accidentally let out a mutter.

It was, after all, a party only for streamers, so most people were busy filming themselves with their phones or selfie sticks.

Some were pulling in other passing streamers to say hello on camera, and in those moments, I was almost relieved that I didn’t know anyone here.

So, this is what it’s like to be an insider.

“Hey, who’s that guy? He’s pretty good-looking.”

“Where, where?”

“Over there. I’ve never seen him before… Does he do no-cam streams?”

While passing by a table, I overheard two women whispering, so I looked around to catch a glimpse of that handsome face, but no one stood out.

“He’s looking. Duck down, duck down.”

…?

I accidentally made eye contact with them, and as if on cue, they both looked away and refocused on their meals.

No way they were talking about me, right? Then again, unless their taste in men was seriously flawed, that couldn’t be it.

“He looks really gentle, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, kind of like a nerdy guy?”

Even as I moved away, their conversation about someone’s appearance continued. I had no idea who they were talking about, but I was a bit envious.

Well, let’s eat.

“Wow…”

Holding my growling stomach, I headed toward the buffet spread near the terrace, and as expected of a year-end party, the food looked quite fancy.

Yeah, the quality here is top-notch. Even if I just eat my fill and go home, it’ll more than cover my taxi fare.

I now had another story to share with my viewers tomorrow. That alone was something to look forward to.

“If you need any wine or steak, please let us know. We’ll bring it right over.”

“Thank you.”

As I eagerly scanned the food, a man wearing a ‘STAFF’ name tag was hovering nearby and spoke to me.

Wine and steak, huh. Honestly, I don’t know much about alcohol, so I’ll skip the wine, but the steak might be tempting.

Still, if I eat it now, I won’t even be able to tell if it’s going in through my nose or my mouth, so I’ll save it for later. The food on display here seems more than enough for now.

As I continued surveying the options with my eyes, I finally decided on my first dish. I picked it up with the tongs and piled it onto a large plate. Just as I was about to move on to the next item—

“Uh, um… Cosmo?”

“…Yes?”

A woman’s voice suddenly called out to me, and I reflexively turned my head.

Standing there was a beautiful woman, wearing a ‘STAFF’ name tag just like the man from earlier. She looked somewhat shy, and I was momentarily struck dumb by her appearance—she was stunning, like a celebrity from TV.

I stared at her in a daze until a thought suddenly snapped me back to reality.

Wait, how does she know I’m Cosmo? I’m not even wearing a name tag right now!