Enovels

Amusing Incidents

Chapter 47 • 1,625 words • 14 min read

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In the room, Zhou Haochen’s gaze lingered on the graceful figure, and he swallowed hard. Yet, upon noticing the little one nearby, he instantly realized that sending her away for a while was indeed a necessity.

With an oversized ‘light bulb’ (TL Note: A common Chinese slang term for a third wheel or chaperone.) present, Zhou Haochen could only embrace Bai Sha, offering a brief kiss before halting his advances. Bai Sha, her face flushed crimson, gently pushed him away.

The door, however, could not be opened from their side.

“Daddy, read me a storybook,” the little one chirped, tugging on Zhou Haochen’s clothes, effectively acting as a human buffer.

Thus, on the bed, Zhou Haochen embraced Bai Sha, who in turn held the little one, as both mother and daughter listened intently to the story.

Yet, the flush on Bai Sha’s cheeks stubbornly refused to recede, deepening with each passing moment.

Bai Sha turned her head, casting a fierce glare at the culprit. ‘My daughter is still in my arms, what on earth were you thinking?!’

Zhou Haochen returned her glare with a helpless look. He was no Liu Xiahui (TL Note: A legendary figure from ancient China renowned for his moral integrity, said to have once sat with a woman in his arms through the night without any impropriety.); with a beauty nestled in his arms and her fragrant scent enveloping him, it would be unnatural for him *not* to react.

Bai Sha stiffly shifted her body, for she was undeniably being pressed against by a ‘gun’ (TL Note: A playful euphemism for an erection), and truth be told, it was rather uncomfortable.

Zhou Haochen quickly interjected, ‘Oh, my dear, please don’t move!’

The little one, nestled comfortably in her mother’s embrace and engrossed in her father’s storytelling, was suddenly set aside. Her father’s narrative halted, and she watched as her mother abruptly sprang to her feet.

Grabbing her father’s hand, Bai Sha practically dragged him into the bathroom. “Xiao Yu, why don’t you read for a bit? Daddy and I have something we need to take care of.”

Zhou Yuying wore a look of utter bewilderment. ‘Huh?’

She glanced down at the storybook, densely packed with characters, and her face crumpled into a mournful grimace. She hadn’t even started school yet; how was she supposed to recognize all those words?

Inside the bathroom, Bai Sha dabbed cool water onto her scorching cheeks, while Zhou Haochen sat somewhat awkwardly on the toilet.

“You can step out once you’ve… resolved things,” Bai Sha murmured, understanding the discomfort of his situation.

Zhou Haochen covered his face, proposing, “Perhaps you could step out for a moment first?”

Bai Sha’s hand briefly rested on the doorknob, only to lower it again.

She walked over to Zhou Haochen, her heart pounding and cheeks flushed, and tentatively asked, “Would you like me to help you?”

For months, she had been playfully teasing him, igniting sparks only to leave him to his own devices. This time, however, she decided to reward him.

“Ah, is that… truly possible?”

Bai Sha took a deep, calming breath, reassuring herself, ‘It’s nothing, it’s nothing. It’s not as if I haven’t experienced such things before; this time, it’s merely with a different person.’

“Take them off!”

Bai Sha wasn’t the only one feeling shy; Zhou Haochen, equally abashed, suggested, “Perhaps we could turn off the light?”

He found himself utterly mortified under the circumstances.

In the ensuing darkness, Bai Sha’s face felt as if it were burning, her heart hammering wildly in her chest.

“Why haven’t you finished yet?!”

“Just a little faster, almost there.”

After a significant pause, the bathroom was plunged back into light, accompanied by a muffled groan.

Bai Sha stood by the sink, washing her hands. Her reflection in the mirror revealed a disheveled figure, one shoulder strap of her pajamas having slipped provocatively down her arm.

Meanwhile, Zhou Haochen, looking utterly refreshed, stepped into view beside her in the mirror.

“You go out first; don’t make Xiao Yu wait too long,” Bai Sha instructed, needing to compose herself. ‘This wretched man and his wandering hands!’

In the bedroom, the little one sat with her book. Unable to fully comprehend the text, she simply flipped through the pages, deliberately seeking out those adorned with illustrations.

Upon seeing her father enter, she lit up as if spotting a savior. “Daddy! Why did you take so long to come out? Where’s Mommy? Why isn’t she out yet?”

Zhou Haochen rubbed his nose. “Mommy will be here any moment. How about Daddy reads you a storybook in the meantime?”

The little one nodded, then inquired, “Why did Daddy and Mommy go to the bathroom together? And I saw the light outside was off for a bit, too!”

Realizing the implication, Zhou Haochen quickly explained, “The light inside was broken, sweetie. Daddy and Mommy were just fixing it. See? It’s all better now, isn’t it?”

“Wow! Daddy and Mommy are so clever!”

Zhou Haochen felt a bead of sweat trickle down his temple. ‘Your mommy is indeed quite formidable; she disarmed your dad in an instant.’

Just then, Bai Sha, her hair neatly combed, re-entered the room, transformed back into her usual elegant self. “What are you two chatting about?” she inquired.

“Mommy is so clever! She can fix electric lights!”

Meeting the little one’s adoring gaze, Bai Sha shot Zhou Haochen a subtle wink. ‘What kind of new persona have you concocted for me now?’

“Oh dear! Look, it’s already half past nine. It’s so late; you really must hurry to bed now.”

Such a blatant attempt to change the subject could only fool a child.

“No! I haven’t even finished today’s story!” the little one wailed, her face a mask of misery.

Bai Sha glanced at the time. ‘Had they truly spent that much time in the bathroom?’

Climbing into bed, she gently stroked the little one’s head, offering comfort. “It’s time for bed, sweetie. Tomorrow morning, Daddy will read you a few more stories, alright?”

The little one clutched the doll her mother had given her, pouting mournfully. “Alright…”

Observing his daughter’s distress, Zhou Haochen interjected, “Why don’t we just finish it? There isn’t much left.”

The little one immediately turned her expectant gaze toward her mother. “Can we, please?”

With both sets of eyes, one large and one small, fixed upon her, Bai Sha finally nodded.

“Oh, yay! Daddy and Mommy are the absolute best!”

The little one bounced with joy. Having such reasonable parents was indeed a source of immense happiness.

****

The following morning.

The little one had already migrated to the very edge of the bed, still deeply engrossed in slumber, her cherished doll clutched in her hand.

Bai Sha and Zhou Haochen slept entwined, their bodies pressed close. Her already light pajamas, having shifted throughout the night, now revealed a generous expanse of skin.

Zhou Haochen groggily opened his eyes. He glanced down, and the sight of “Wangzai steamed buns” (TL Note: A humorous euphemism for large breasts, referring to a popular brand of steamed buns in China known for their round, plump shape.) instantly jolted him wide awake.

“Whoa.”

Bai Sha, stirred awake, rubbed her sleepy eyes and let out a soft murmur. “Mmm, what is it?”

Morning blood ran naturally vigorous, and this sight sent Zhou Haochen scrambling to his feet to wash up. ‘Amitabha,’ he thought, ‘this temptress constantly seeks to make this humble monk break his vows. I must resist her allure!’

His abrupt movement from the bed, however, was loud enough to rouse the little one sleeping beside it.

Such was the nature of children; one could never truly predict where they would awaken on the bed.

“Mommy, good morning.”

“Good morning, sweetie.”

Still half-asleep, the little one instantly tumbled into her mother’s arms. “What’s Daddy doing?” she mumbled.

Bai Sha, now fully awake, adjusted her shoulder strap and cast a glance at her attire. ‘Hmm… the effect is surprisingly potent.’

“Daddy is a good little boy; he goes to the bathroom to wash up as soon as he wakes.”

The little one’s sleepiness instantly evaporated. She looked at her mother, piping up in her childish voice, “Mommy, let’s go wash up too! We’re good little boys and girls!”

Bai Sha chuckled softly. ‘Why do children develop such a competitive spirit in the most peculiar situations?’

“Daddy! We’ve come for you!”

The little one stood on a stool, and the family of three, perfectly synchronized, brushed their teeth in front of the mirror.

With toothpaste foam still clinging to the corners of her mouth, Bai Sha smiled. “You little calico cat,” she teased.

The little one, not to be outdone, retorted, “Hmph! Then Mommy is a *big* calico cat!”

Zhou Haochen continued to chuckle from the side, but the little one, truly impartial, distributed her playful insults evenly. “Daddy is an *old* calico cat!” she declared.

This time, it was Bai Sha’s turn to laugh, though she felt a pang of sympathy for her husband. He hadn’t done anything to deserve such a bombardment from their ‘leaky cotton jacket’ (TL Note: A Chinese idiom referring to a daughter who, when married, is seen as helping her husband’s family rather than her own, or more broadly, a child who ‘leaks’ family secrets or causes trouble).

Zhou Haochen asked helplessly, “What did Daddy do? How did I become an *old* calico cat?”

‘Clearly, Bai Sha is the oldest one in the family, so how could *I* be the old calico cat?’

“Mommy and I are calico cats, so Daddy is also a calico cat. A family must be neat and tidy together!”

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