The Ultimate Troll

[Han Do-yoon: What?]

Oops, my hand slipped.

My anger had subsided, but my dissatisfaction hadn’t.

And I had every right to express that dissatisfaction to him.

Han Do-yoon questioned my abrupt ‘Do you want to die?’, then apologized without even asking why.

[Han Do-yoon: I’m sorry.]

[You’re sorry?]

[Han Do-yoon: Um… I don’t remember anything from yesterday, so could you tell me what mistake I made?]

[What mistake?]

[Han Do-yoon: I’m truly sorry…]

[Truly sorry?]

[Han Do-yoon: Yes….]

‘I should stop teasing him now.’

It wasn’t my intention, but his habit of apologizing first without questioning was amusing, so I couldn’t help but play with his words.
Soon, he offered compensation, saying he was sorry for causing trouble, which startled me, so I changed the subject.

‘What kind of compensation? I don’t need that.’

[Are you able to log in now?]

[Han Do-yoon: I’ll log in.]

‘He really doesn’t ask any questions.’

‘Is he always like this?’

If I were in the same situation as him, I would have asked for the reason first.

This guy apparently wasn’t curious about the reason.

I put down my phone and, remembering RetirementWish whom I had inadvertently kept waiting, explained the situation and asked for his understanding.

[Party/DontOrderMe: I thought our damage was lacking, so I recruited a DPS.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: He’s coming soon, so you can just get ready for now.]

[Party/RetirementWish: Ah… I’m sorryㅠ]

[Party/DontOrderMe: I told you it’s not your fault…]

‘He did well enough for a beginner.’

I sighed at RetirementWish, who kept apologizing.

Strictly speaking, it was mostly my fault for forcing the run, knowing it might be too much, just because I didn’t want to join a public party.

‘Of course, wasn’t I overly confident after getting enviable gear, leading to a reckless approach?’

[Party/DontOrderMe: About 70 percent of it is my fault.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: And about 30 percent is the fault of the DPS who’s coming now.]

[Party/RetirementWish: Huh?]

[Guild member PatchNote has logged in.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: That person.]

[Guild/PatchNote: Hello.]

‘That guy also seems to be no exception.’

I watched RetirementWish welcome PatchNote and invited him with cold eyes.

PatchNote entered the party and sent a chat, saying ‘nice to meet you.’

If you’re wondering why that guy was about 30% at fault, it’s only right to tell you the reason only I know.

I lightly tapped the keyboard, explaining the situation.

[Party/DontOrderMe: PatchNote-nim sent me a message.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: It was a huge troll.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: A troll of the century, really.]

[Party/PatchNote: What?]

He still looked utterly clueless.

I pondered what perfectly apt words there were for the current situation, and then a suitable analogy suddenly came to mind, so I immediately sent a message.

[Party/DontOrderMe: It was like getting a text message during a perfect combo in a rhythm game and losing the full combo.]

[Party/RetirementWish: Ah…]

[Party/PatchNote: Me…?]

Yes, you.

[Party/DontOrderMe: Thanks to you, my combo was broken. It was a unique experience.]

‘There was a reason for all the cursing in the chat.’

PatchNote said nothing for a while.

To be precise, he probably couldn’t.

For someone uninterested in games, it might seem trivial, but a hardcore gamer knows how awful that situation is.
And everyone here was a hardcore gamer.

[Party/PatchNote: I’m sorry…]

[Party/DontOrderMe: I trust you’ll deliver massive damage.]

[Party/PatchNote: I will pour my soul into dealing damage…]

[Party/PatchNote: By the way, could you give me party lead…?]

That’s good enough.
‘Compensate for your mistake with a hard carry.’

Just as I was about to enter the dungeon, thinking preparations were complete, I saw PatchNote’s chat and handed him the party lead.
Just then, the noble of the party, who was most needed, appeared.

[Guild member YearRoundNoRest has logged in.]

[YearRoundNoRest has joined the party.]

[Party/YearRoundNoRest: Hello ^^]

[Party/YearRoundNoRest: I received the call and came ^^]

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

I tilted my head in confusion, then understood at PatchNote’s words that he had called him.

‘They’re friends, and since they woke up in the same place, he called him over.’

Receiving party lead back from PatchNote, I quickly scanned the current composition.

Three DPS and one healer.

The healer would be heavily strained, but with his control, it should be fine.

Just as I was about to hit ‘Enter Dungeon,’ a thought suddenly struck me, and a peculiar smile formed on my face.

‘Come to think of it, does that guy remember how drunk he got?’

I burst out laughing, recalling his literal transformation into a dog when I called him a ‘bastard.’

‘That was really funny. I should have filmed it.’

[Party/DontOrderMe: I’m just curious, but.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: Do either of you remember the meetup?]

[Party/YearRoundNoRest: Me?]

[Party/DontOrderMe: Both of you.]

[Party/YearRoundNoRest: Uh… LOLOLOLOL what did I do…..?]

‘So he doesn’t remember.’
‘You completely turned into a dog.’

Yes, from their perspective, it might be better not to remember.

I typed my message with sincerity.

[Party/DontOrderMe: You guys shouldn’t go drinking anywhere.]

‘Because that would be beneficial for both themselves and others.’

At my sudden words, YearRoundNoRest pressed me, asking what he had done, and PatchNote also worriedly chatted, asking what mistake he had made.

‘Knowing it won’t erase what happened, so why ask so many questions?’
‘For your own sake, don’t be curious. You’ll get hurt.’

I ignored their questions, coordinated the necessary parts for the clear, then immediately charged towards the boss.

With DPS capable of burst damage and a healer who could reliably cover us, we should be able to clear it this time.

I plunged my combo into the boss, rolling my eyes to glance at the others.

[Party/YearRoundNoRest: What did I really do?]

[Party/RetirementWish: Me too!! I’m curious too!!!]

[Party/RetirementWish: If it weren’t for work, I would’ve gone to the meetupㅠㅠ]

[Party/PatchNote: I’m sorry…]

‘They’re going to mess up and wipe the raid if they keep that up.’

Dealing damage, I clicked my tongue, watching those who intermittently asked about the meetup, and sent a message at the right time so as not to break my combo.

[Party/DontOrderMe: I’ll tell you if we get a one-shot clear.]

A gamer with a goal was truly a terrifying entity.

With that seemingly trivial remark as a starting point, they delivered intense damage and healing, demonstrating what a truly clean game was, ending the run flawlessly, with not a single mistake or death.

‘Why did they go to such lengths for that? They’re really strange people.’

(5)

I applauded the party members who showed truly perfect play.

In all my life, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a clean game.

[Party/RetirementWish: Now, how about you spill the tea?]

[Party/DontOrderMe: It’ll be a story full of wounds, are you sure you want to hear it?]

[Party/RetirementWish: It’s not my problem, hehe.]

‘That’s true.’
‘Where should I start?’
‘Should I tell them what crazy things the drunk guild members did?’

I thoughtfully recalled the events and recounted them one by one.
PotteryMaster and YearRoundNoRest, who had lost their minds and chugged alcohol, Beta noona and OneHitForTheLord-nim, who had become friends while drunk.

And even PatchNote, who had cried sorrowfully, calling out my nickname.
As my story continued, PatchNote and YearRoundNoRest’s chat messages gradually dwindled.

‘Are they embarrassed?’

[Party/RetirementWish: LOLOLOLOL. Really? With full-on LOLOLOLOL growls LOLOLOLOL barks LOLOLOL. Really????]

[Party/DontOrderMe: Yes, when PatchNote-nim said “you bastard,” he literally made dog noises.]

[Party/RetirementWish: LOLOL. Ah, I should have gone there!!!!!!]

RetirementWish was so amused that he spammed consonants non-stop.

He expressed his desire for another meetup, saying he wanted to participate next time.

‘If something like this happens again, I’m out.’
‘I had to clean up all their messes.’

Meanwhile, PatchNote and YearRoundNoRest, who had shown the absolute worst behavior, stopped chatting.
The saying ‘ignorance is bliss’ wasn’t coined for nothing.

[Party/YearRoundNoRest: LOL… I woke up in some motel, was that possibly…?]

[Party/DontOrderMe: Ah, that.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: I couldn’t just leave you on the street.]

‘With the help of the kind part-timer, I dumped them in there.’

If they had been of different genders or strangers, I would have put them in separate rooms, but since they were the same gender and real-life friends, I lumped them into one.

[Party/DontOrderMe: The others went for a second round, shouting, ‘My lieutenants! Follow me!’]

[Party/RetirementWish: LOLOLOL. ‘Follow’ LOLOLOL. Who did? LOLOL.]

[Party/DontOrderMe: I think it was PotteryMaster-nim.]

Her sight, raising a liquor bottle like the Statue of Liberty and shouting, was truly extraordinary.

At that time, I really thought the guild name was a mistake.

It should have been named ‘Total Chaos’ instead of RunawayTrain.

Still, aside from the stomach pain from stress-induced gastritis, it was a rather fun experience.

‘Rather.’