On the Edge of Death and Desire

“Ugh… Sob…”

The tears finally burst out.

It was so terrifying and unfair.

I missed my mom.

If I’d known this would happen, I wouldn’t have gotten so annoyed when giving her money.

How sad would Mom be if she found out I died here?

I don’t want to die.

I’m only twenty-six.

Besides, without me, Mom can’t do anything properly.

If she doesn’t pay back the amount due every month, those people will come for her.

Before that happens, she needs to run away, even if it’s to where my brother is.

But would Mom have the courage to do that?

And my student loans… would Mom have to pay them back?

How could Mom, who spends most of her days just lying down, ever pay back all that money?

I hated my life, where even near death, all I could think about was money and my mom.

It was so unfair.

I’ve lived so miserably these past few years.

If I’d known I’d be this close to death, I wouldn’t have lived like that.

“Heeuu… Sob…”

Kang-woo frowned as he watched Hee-woon suddenly burst into tears.

Tears were overflowing from his large, shiny eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

“Hic… You can’t kill me… Don’t kill me… I won’t… hic, tell anyone. I-I promise.”

Talking made him cry even harder.

Kang-woo let out an irritated sigh as he watched Hee-woon cry his eyes out.

At the sound, Hee-woon’s shoulders shook violently.

“How shitty do you think I feel when you start crying in the middle of a conversation?”

“Hic… S-sorry… Hic…”

“Stop crying.”

It was a warning, not a consolation.

Hee-woon turned pale and covered his mouth, but choking sounds escaped through his fingers.

His chest rose and fell irregularly.

It wouldn’t be strange if he passed out soon.

Kang-woo thought to himself.

‘Should I just kill him?’

His hand slid down the wet cheek.

When his fingertips touched the pale, slender neck, Hae-woon’s Adam’s apple moved.

“I really won’t, hic, tell anyone. Kang-woo.”

Hee-woon managed to speak, terrified his neck would be wrung any second.

His wet eyes scrutinized the murderer’s expression.

But he couldn’t read it.

‘Kang-woo. Kang-woo, please… I’ll be really quiet.’

“……”

Kang-woo, who had been staring blankly, gently touched his wet eyelids.

Everywhere he touched was damp and red.

The round eyes watched him anxiously.

These eyes.

He had left the clumsy stalker alone because of these eyes.

His expression and tone were blunt, but his eyes alone shone brightly.

When Kang-woo turned away, he would send a desperate gaze.

It was amusing.

At first, it was only on campus, then on the way home, then right in front of his house.

Woo Hee-woon, who kept expanding his stalking range, stopped there.

For a bastard who stalked people, he had the decency to know his limits, which was almost commendable, and a little disappointing.

A wicked thought arose: what if I let this bastard see all of me?

But he had intended to leave it at that.

Until he realized the taxi Woo Hee-woon was in was following his car.

‘What should I do?’

The driver had asked, glancing in the rearview mirror.

Leaning back loosely, he’d rested his chin on his hand and looked out the window.

After a moment, he’d said.

‘Just leave it.’

He was probably smiling then.

“They say greed brings disaster.”

Kang-woo wiped the tear from Hee-woon’s chin and let his gaze travel over him sequentially.

His reddened eyes and nose, his swollen, bloodied lips, his slender neck, the glimpse of his collarbone.

The corner of Kang-woo’s mouth slowly curled up.

Looking into those eyes that had always watched him so desperately, he asked,

“Did you want to f*ck me? Is that why you followed me?”

“Huh?”

When Hee-woon asked back, confused, the large hand lightly holding his nape rubbed his collarbone with a thumb.

“Tell me.”

“N-no…”

“If you say no, I think I’ll be upset.”

At the quietly spoken words, Hee-woon bit his tongue in surprise.

A sharp pain spread, but the mood of the person holding his life was more important.

“I want to f*ck you right now, sunbae.”

Hee-woon’s mind spun wildly.

‘Was Seo Kang-woo gay?’

The police were probably on their way, so his chances of survival increased with time.

In that case, maybe it was better to have s*x as Kang-woo wanted.

That was much better than dying.

“I… have thought about it.”

Hee-woon said in a voice so small it was almost a whisper.

Checking Kang-woo’s expression, he saw him smile.

The hand moving from his nape to stroke his stiff shoulders was affectionate.

“Then shall we f*ck?”

The softly smiling face was one that would have made him lose sleep with joy in the past.

Now, it was just the terrifying face of his unrequited love.

Hee-woon nodded.

Seeing this, Kang-woo’s smile turned nasty.

“Take everything off.”

Kang-woo said, standing up and straightening his knees.

Hee-woon, who had frozen for a moment, placed his hands on the floor.

The fact that he didn’t ask ‘Here?’ was a big achievement for him.

His limbs trembled uncontrollably as he shakily got to his feet.

Kang-woo, dissatisfied with his slow movements, sighed pointedly.

Hee-woon’s trembling hands sped up a little.

It was a good thing he was wearing a button-up, but considering the sharp gaze on his hands, a shirt without buttons would have been better.

With each button undone, pale skin was revealed.

The shirt slid down his angular shoulders and caught on his arms.

Hee-woon glanced at Kang-woo, pulled his arms out, and let the shirt drop.

Even though it was early October, the air here was peculiarly chilly.

‘Was it because of the people who died here?’

He squeezed his eyes shut at the sudden thought.

He didn’t want to see the puddle of blood visible if he turned his head.

Ziiip.

As he unzipped his jeans, Hee-woon glanced at Kang-woo’s face.

His expressionless face was leisurely observing his body.

‘Why weren’t the police here yet?’

Hee-woon’s gaze shifted to the phone lying on the floor.

“Hmm…”

Startled by Kang-woo’s chin-stroking movement, Hee-woon quickly took off his pants.

After a quick glance, he took off his shoes and socks too.

Then he clasped his hands respectfully.

“What are you doing? You have to take off your underwear for me to f*ck your ass.”

Hee-woon flinched.

Being naked alone in this vast, empty space was deeply shameful.

So he hesitated, his fingers hooked in his waistband.

Kang-woo licked his lower lip, staring intently at his flat stomach.

The thin fingers on the waistband wouldn’t move.

Only after Kang-woo sighed pointedly and took a large step forward did Hee-woon startle and pull down his underwear.

“I-I took it off!”

Kang-woo withdrew his outstretched hand and crossed his arms.

He stared piercingly at Hee-woon’s lower body.

It was pale, but otherwise an ordinary thing.

And it was completely shriveled up.

“Don’t cover it.”

The pale hands that had been sneakily moving down as he closed his legs stopped.

He walked behind Hee-woon and let his eyes roam over the dry back, the passable buttocks with some flesh, and the slender legs.

“I really have to f*ck you.”

Kang-woo muttered, amused.

Hee-woon saw the bulge in the front of Kang-woo’s pants and felt devastated.

Despite telling himself he could do this much to survive, his eyes kept drifting to the phone on the floor.

What would he do if the police came and he was naked?

‘No. That wasn’t the important thing.’

“Hey.”

Hee-woon’s head snapped up.

Kang-woo was looking down at him with an incredulous expression.

“You can’t get distracted. That’s just rude.”

The hand that had been gently stroking his back rose and lightly tapped his reddened cheek.

Each tap made his large eyes flinch and blink.

“S-sorry.”

“You followed me because you wanted to f*ck. You should focus on getting your wish granted. Hmm?”

The hand withdrew with a final tap.

“Ah!”

Hee-woon screamed and squeezed his eyes shut, afraid the large hand would hit his cheek again.

‘Drama queen.’

Kang-woo clicked his tongue, bent down, and picked up Hee-woon’s phone.

“Are you expecting a call?”

It was locked with a pattern.

He poked Hee-woon’s elbow with his own.

Hee-woon flinched and stumbled backward.

His feet tangled, and his naked body wobbled before falling back.

“Are you dancing?”

“N-no…”

Hee-woon glanced at his phone in Kang-woo’s hand and struggled to get up.

The phone was immediately held out to him.

“Check it.”

Hee-woon’s face turned pale.

It must be a message from the police, and he didn’t know how Kang-woo would react.

“Who wants you to show them?”

“Ah…”

“You’re the stalker, sunbae, not me.”

Kang-woo let out a short laugh, seeing Hee-woon nod.

Then he slowly let his eyes roam over the white body in front of him.

“Uh… Uhh…”

Hee-woon made a stupid sound after checking the message.

It couldn’t be.

He checked the message list several times.

“Why. What is it?”

Kang-woo, who had been eyeing Hee-woon’s body, suddenly stuck his head forward.

“A loan? Do you need money, sunbae?”

[Web Message]
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We provide personal financial assistance.
Same-day processing possible without a visit.
Anyone eligible except minors.
Amounts from 100 to 3000.
For ARS application:
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A pale hand tightly gripped the angular hunk of metal.

It wasn’t the dispatch message from the police he had been waiting for.

Was it because there was no address that they couldn’t dispatch?

Then, they should have asked for the address.

How can they be so dismissive when someone’s life is on the line?

Hope shattered into pieces and vanished.

As if to fill that now empty void, rage surged violently.

Hee-woon let out a ragged breath and glared at the innocent loan advertisement.

“Did you think it was the police?”

A voice whispered near his ear made his spine stiffen.

Hee-woon turned his neck, which felt like it was creaking.

Seo Kang-woo was giggling.