The Accident That Felt Like Relief

“This is not what I asked you to bring.”

He looked at the Omega list documents, then spoke stiffly, shifting his gaze back to Haejin.

His voice was subdued, but his cold stare sharply interrogated him.

Under that piercing gaze, Haejin shrank as if he had rifled through his bag without permission.

But he hadn’t snooped through his bag secretly; he was looking for the requested documents when he stumbled upon it.

Haejin reminded himself he had done nothing wrong and tried to firm his resolve.

“I… I found it while looking for the document. But seeing this… Is this what I think it means?”

He tried to speak assertively, but contrary to his will, his voice grew faint.

Even if they weren’t a couple bound by love, as spouses, he had the right to ask boldly.

But since he was the one who would be lacking, he couldn’t speak strongly.

Still, he spoke as if urging an explanation and waited for a reply.

Beomwoo sighed as if bothered, readjusting his position.

“It is exactly as you see. Didn’t I say it before? I need an Omega to bear a child.”

“……”

“I don’t know why you look so shocked as if hearing it for the first time.”

Beomwoo showed no sign of apology or hesitation.

He reacted as if he had already said it and couldn’t understand why Haejin was making a fuss now.

Finding the Omega list in the bag was shocking, but hearing his answer made the world go dark and the blood drain from his body.

The meaning of the Omega list was clear, but he had hoped it wasn’t true.

That it was real… And his cold demeanor, speaking to him as if *he* were in the wrong, was shocking.

His head spun, making it hard to even stand still.

But Haejin, swaying unsteadily, forced strength into his legs and spoke with a trembling voice.

“I understand you need a child, Beomwoo-ssi… and that I’m infertile…”

“……”

“But then… what’s the point of us being a couple?”

Haejin could force himself to understand the chaebol family’s need for an heir.

But if he was no longer needed, he could divorce and marry an Omega who could bear a child.

He couldn’t understand why Beomwoo insisted on not divorcing but separately sought an Omega to bear a child.

There was no reason to do that; divorcing him and bringing in a new Omega would be cleaner.

He wasn’t in a position to worry about others, but this showed no respect for him or the new Omega who would bear the child.

It wasn’t that he wanted a divorce… But even if *he* had something to gain by loving him, Beomwoo didn’t.

What was the reason for not ending this meaningless marriage?

Was ‘not divorcing’ just a plausible excuse, as he had speculated, to maneuver Haejin into being the one to say the word ‘divorce’?

As Haejin looked at him with genuine confusion, Beomwoo stayed silent for a moment, then sighed as if exasperated.

“I fulfilled the will by marrying you. Wouldn’t divorcing so soon give people something to criticize?”

Beomwoo retorted as if his thinking was too short-sighted.

Even though everyone knew he married to receive the company, divorcing so quickly would mean he hadn’t properly fulfilled the will.

That could be used as grounds to threaten his position again.

So the reason he wanted to remain married, not divorcing, was to protect his position.

…So the reason for not divorcing wasn’t for his sake either.

As Haejin bit his lower lip, Beomwoo sighed and continued in an irritated voice.

“It’s not like I want to deal with this troublesome matter either. If you weren’t infertile, this wouldn’t be necessary.”

“……”

“We’re not going to divorce, I’m just finding an Omega to bear a child instead. What’s so dissatisfying about that?”

He was already annoyed by the troublesome situation, and now Haejin was stirring things up, making him angry instead.

He didn’t understand why Haejin felt hurt or was asking this and didn’t try to understand him either.

‘Right, that’s just how he is…’

‘I knew it… So why do I keep expecting from him and getting hurt?’

Without any warning, tears suddenly fell in streams.

He knew crying in front of him would only annoy him and was meaningless, so he tried to stop, but the tears wouldn’t stop, like a broken faucet.

As Haejin bowed his head deeply, tears dripping onto the floor, Beomwoo watched and let out a deep breath.

“Ha… So, do you want a divorce from me?”

“……”

Divorce…

If it’s like this, wouldn’t it be better to divorce? But he couldn’t bring himself to say yes.

Even staying by his side like this, he wouldn’t grow to like him; he’d only suffer alone and fall into a pit.

But he had nowhere to return to, nothing he knew how to do. Even now, he couldn’t let go of his feelings for him. Like a fool.

As Haejin shook his head without any answer, Beomwoo watched him, calmed his previously sensitive voice, and spoke.

“I know you wanted a child. Even if you’re infertile, if you want to try IVF or other methods, I’m willing to support you.”

“……”

“It’s just that the possibility is slim, so I’m looking for an Omega who can substitute in advance. Don’t overcomplicate it.”

It seemed like he was trying to console him in his own way, but the following words brutally tore Haejin’s heart apart again.

He wasn’t treating him as a person, but as a tool. He was just fitting in an Omega needed for the situation.

‘Why do I love someone like this?’

There was a time when he thought of him as the person who saved him from the pit, so he couldn’t help but like him then.

But not now. He’s only making things harder… Why can’t I let go?

Thinking he couldn’t be this foolish and persistent, Haejin nodded weakly.

****

He slept fitfully.

Even when drowsy like a sick chicken, nodding off, he would have nightmares and wake up drenched in sweat.

Having constant nightmares prevented deep sleep, and dark shadows like a grim reaper formed under Haejin’s eyes.

As Haejin sat at the living room dining table, chin propped, nodding off, the housekeeper, who had been working, looked at him with a pitiful expression and spoke in a worried voice.

“If you’re that tired, why not just go to bed… It’s not about day or night; you seem unwell lately, and more sleep would help you recover…”

“…No. Thank you for your concern.”

Last time, he made an excuse that sleeping during the day would prevent sleep at night, so he was resisting sleep.

She seemed to think that was still the reason.

But Haejin only smiled faintly and couldn’t go to sleep.

She might think he was forcing himself to stay awake to adjust his sleep schedule, but that wasn’t the reason.

He simply couldn’t sleep.

After seeing the Omega list and being driven to the worst situation, he briefly considered defying his words.

But lately, even when he slept, he only had nightmares, so he also wanted to avoid sleeping.

…Should I go to the greenhouse? It was nice then.

The day he went to the greenhouse on the housekeeper’s recommendation, his mood had improved slightly.

Though writing the diary upset him again…

Thinking some sunlight might help, he was about to get up when he noticed the housekeeper rummaging through the refrigerator while doing housework.

Since evening was approaching, she seemed to be preparing dinner.

It was a usual occurrence, so he thought ‘I see’ and was about to dismiss it without much thought when he heard the housekeeper muttering awkwardly.

“Ah, dear. We’re out of onions.”

She seemed troubled, having found ingredients lacking while preparing dinner.

Onions? If it were just for him, he would have said it was okay to be missing one onion.

But since her employer was Beomwoo, not him, she couldn’t do that.

Haejin glanced at the time.

Going to the mart to buy onions and then preparing the meal again seemed tight…

Managing ingredients was the housekeeper’s responsibility and unrelated to Haejin.

But the housekeeper was the person Haejin felt most grateful to in this house.

Although he couldn’t fully trust her because she was one of *them*, he had received help from her warm heart.

Above all, amidst the insane drowsiness and suffocating feeling in this house, Haejin stood up.

“I’ll go buy them.”

“What? Ah, no! I can go quickly.”

“No. I want to take a walk to wake up a bit. Please continue preparing dinner.”

“No, even so…”

“I really want to go.”

The housekeeper fidgeted, saying how could she send him on an errand, but Haejin gave a faint smile, saying he wanted to do it.

He had been planning to go to the greenhouse for some sunlight anyway, so going to the mart for a walk seemed fine.

After telling the housekeeper to continue with other tasks, Haejin changed into outdoor clothes and left the house.

“It’s hot…”

Stepping outside, hot sunlight beat down from above.

It was nearing evening, but being late summer, the days were long.

Having been only in the cool house, the hot sunshine and heat rising from the asphalt already felt exhausting.

But remembering the advice to move more when feeling down, he started walking.

The mart was about a ten-minute walk away.

Standing at the crosswalk to cross the street, waiting for the signal, the sun shining from the opposite side was dazzling.

Perhaps because he was drowsy, it felt unusually blinding.

He kept tightly closing and opening his eyes.

Without realizing, the green light was blinking.

“Ah, I need to cross…”

The green light was blinking as if about to turn off, but since he had been standing there, it couldn’t have been on for long.

Haejin thought complacently and started crossing the crosswalk.

Blink, blink. Seeing the green light blinking as if about to turn off made him think he should cross quickly.

But his body felt heavy, like waterlogged cotton.

Trying to muster strength to cross, the sunlight facing him became unusually glaring, and dizziness struck.

His vision seemed to spin, then went dark.

“Ah…”

Dizzy.

It was a dizziness he’d often experienced lately, but this was particularly severe.

Literally, he couldn’t see anything; his ears felt muffled.

Too weak to support his body, he tightly closed his eyes and stopped walking.

Through the tinnitus, a sound that seemed like it would tear his ears apart was heard.

Screech—!

Turning his gaze toward the sound coming from nearby, a car was rushing toward him at high speed.

He needed to avoid the car speeding toward him like mad.

Was it because he was startled? Or… did he not want to avoid it?

His legs wouldn’t move. And then.

Crash!

A violent roar, the sensation of his body floating up, the pain of his whole body shattering, and the feeling of falling were all vividly felt.

“Someone’s here…!”

“It’s a car accident!”

Hot blood flowed down his forehead; he could hear people who discovered the accident buzzing around his collapsed body.

His limbs hurt as if being torn apart, and his consciousness grew distant.

Subconsciously, he thought if he lost consciousness now, he might die like this and tried to hold on, but in that moment, a thought occurred.

‘…Would that be so bad?’

Being alive held no value, and there was no one by his side. Would that be so bad? I’m… in too much pain and suffering.

The moment that thought arose, his heart felt lighter. Haejin let his body go limp.

It was a lonely death.