So We Went Together

“…Huh?”

“Not with any impure intentions. Just like when I suggested cohabitation, it’s because it’s dangerous for you to be alone…”

Come on the business trip together?

Haejin was surprised—he had assumed Beomwoo was going alone and never expected him to invite him along.

Beomwoo quickly tried to clarify, telling him not to misunderstand.

Well, he had briefly considered that possibility… but even though Beomwoo had sincerely confessed just yesterday, he wasn’t the type to invite him along with that meaning.

And Beomwoo wasn’t the type to force anything like Jeong-yeon.

Having seen that since his past life, he was sure of it.

Being alone was scary, and Jeong-yeon was surely watching them, so he might seize an opportunity to intrude.

So, following him on the business trip seemed right, but when it came to agreeing, it felt awkward, almost like agreeing to go on a trip alone together.

That made it awkward to readily agree.

When Haejin couldn’t answer, Beomwoo seemed to read his hesitation and spoke in a lighter tone than before.

“If it’s burdensome, you can refuse.”

“……”

But even if he spoke lightly, knowing his feelings made it impossible to respond lightly.

The answer was decided, and Beomwoo might not think that way, but he alone was attaching meaning and feeling embarrassed.

It would have been better to answer directly, but now that he hesitated, answering seemed even more awkward.

As Haejin hesitated to answer, Beomwoo nodded as if understanding without words.

“Alright. Then while I’m away on the business trip, I’ll arrange for a bodyguard at the house. If I hire help too, you won’t need to go grocery shopping or go out, so it should be fine.”

“Huh? Wh-what?”

Perhaps taking his hesitation as a refusal, Beomwoo spoke as if making arrangements for his absence.

No… that wasn’t the meaning.

He really intended to go; he was just awkward about saying it…

Haejin blinked his surprised eyes, then, fearing he might truly be left alone here, hastily opened his mouth.

“Ah, no! I’ll go with you…!”

“……”

Perhaps because he spoke too urgently, his words came out almost desperately, as if pleading to be taken along.

Like begging to be taken.

Ah, I shouldn’t have said it like that…

Feeling he overdid it, Haejin inwardly swallowed a sigh.

Beomwoo stared at him intently.

He thought if he invited him, he would happily agree, but his face looked thoughtful.

What? He made the suggestion himself, yet he looked displeased…

This reaction made Haejin feel even more awkward, as if he were the one insisting on going.

When Haejin looked at Beomwoo with a questioning face, he seemed to think for a moment before answering almost sighingly.

“If it’s because you feel pressured, you don’t have to force yourself to come. I told you. You don’t need to mind my feelings.”

“…Huh?”

“Even for real lovers, it’s a burdensome proposal, so I understand if you feel that way, Haejin.”

He wondered why the reaction was strange after agreeing to go; Beomwoo seemed to think he accepted the proposal reluctantly because he found it hard to refuse.

While it was true he used to struggle with refusal and felt pressured easily, that was in his past life; in this life, he thought he had expressed his intentions clearly.

Though the results weren’t exactly that…

Anyway, he had, so why did Beomwoo think he was reluctantly, forcibly accepting this time?

He had no idea why he thought that, and while tempted to let the misunderstanding slide, his fear of being left alone in this house was greater than his embarrassment.

Haejin looked at Beomwoo with a flustered face, then shook his head and opened his mouth to clear up the misunderstanding.

“Ah, no. That’s not it, I said it because I want to go with you…”

“…Really?”

“Yes, yes… You said you’d arrange bodyguards and such, but being alone is scary too… Y-you said it yourself, Beomwoo. Hiring people is a competition of who hires the more capable person.”

“……”

“I don’t have anything particular to do at home, and if I think of it as a trip… It might be a change of pace…”

Haejin, while thinking this situation where he seemed to be clinging was strange, earnestly explained that he wasn’t going reluctantly out of pressure.

It was true that he was scared to stay alone in this house and found it hard to trust others, but the talk about a change of pace was something he said under Beomwoo’s doubtful gaze, even though he didn’t really mean it.

A change of pace? After such a terrifying experience, he wasn’t optimistic enough to go on a trip for a mood change.

But if he didn’t say that, Beomwoo might not believe him, so he ended up saying unnecessary things.

As Haejin answered flusteredly, Beomwoo seemed to gauge whether his words were sincere or an excuse before slowly nodding belatedly.

“Indeed… you have seemed down since that day. It might be good to go and have a change of pace.”

“……”

He had just said anything that came to mind, but Beomwoo reacted positively to his following words.

It was good he didn’t think it was a lie, but more than that… He said he seemed down?

Of course, his mood was low after such an event.

But he didn’t know Beomwoo was paying attention to his mood…

Come to think of it, just earlier, knowing he was upset, Beomwoo had brewed tea he didn’t usually drink to calm him down.

Looking back, it seemed he had been attentively observing his mood all along.

…In the past, he was someone who wouldn’t care about his depression.

Even when he suffered from depression in his past life after the infertility diagnosis, to the point of wishing he were dead rather than continue the lonely marriage, Beomwoo never looked his way.

Could someone change this much just because he refused to marry him?

Could a person change so much?

This wasn’t the first or second time he had this thought; perhaps it was time to completely separate the Beomwoo of his past life from the present one.

The man he saw in his past life and the present him shared the same face, name, age—everything—so distinguishing them wasn’t as easy as he wished.

Just as Haejin decided to stop dwelling on the past, Beomwoo explained the preparations needed before the business trip.

“Almost everything needed will be there, so just pack clothes. Let’s go lightly, without worries, and come back.”

“…Okay.”

It was just a business trip to avoid danger, not knowing when or how Jeong-yeon might strike.

Not much different from the business trips he followed as a spouse in the past—a trip with a purpose, not a vacation.

Yet, perhaps because of his earlier unnecessary thoughts, it somehow felt like a special trip, making his feelings strange.

He should think of it as a business trip, not a vacation…

Haejin tried hard to calm his heart.

****

“All packed?”

The morning of Beomwoo’s business trip dawned.

As he was packing his travel bag, Beomwoo stood at the open bedroom door and asked.

Looking down, Haejin zipped up the travel bag and answered.

“Ah, yes.”

“Then I’ll move it to the trunk. Give it here.”

“I can carry it…”

“I’m sure you can.”

The bag only contained clothes, so it wasn’t heavy.

When Haejin indirectly said it was fine, Beomwoo answered lightly, picked up his packed bag, and carried it outside.

He seemed to think whether Haejin could move this bag or not was irrelevant.

Feeling somewhat awkward, Haejin scratched the back of his neck and belatedly followed him.

Outside, Beomwoo, having finished all preparations for departure, was waiting by the car after putting the bag in the trunk.

Standing by the car, he looked at his phone, then put it in his pocket when he saw Haejin come out.

“All ready?”

“Ah, yes…”

“You seem dressed too lightly.”

Beomwoo stood still, looking him up and down, and spoke in a dissatisfied tone.

Recently, the weather had rapidly cooled as it transitioned from full autumn to early winter.

It had become quite chilly, and seeing Haejin come out in a thin cardigan seemed to displease him.

As he said, dressed like this, he did feel a chill, but it wasn’t worth the hassle of changing again.

Haejin smoothed his arms and answered as if it was nothing.

“It’s okay. We’re moving by car anyway… And I heard Busan is warmer than here.”

“……”

“Let’s go, or we’ll be late.”

“…Let’s go. Get in.”

But he still seemed dissatisfied, so Haejin changed the subject and urged him to go quickly.

Beomwoo reluctantly opened the passenger door.

As Haejin got in, Beomwoo started the car and set off for Busan.

Traveling on a weekday during off-peak hours, the roads were clear without traffic.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Haejin looked outside.

Beomwoo, who was driving, glanced at him and spoke.

“Have you been to Busan before, Haejin?”

“No… I’ve never been.”

At Beomwoo’s question, Haejin shook his head almost imperceptibly and answered in a fading voice.

Somehow, admitting he had never been to Busan felt embarrassing.

Ironically, in his past life, he had been overseas but never to Busan.

Beomwoo had never invited him on domestic business trips, and while one might expect school trips to Busan, his aunt and uncle naturally never allowed it.

They disliked him being away from household chores and didn’t want to spend extra money for him to go on trips.

Though he hadn’t explained these circumstances, so Beomwoo couldn’t know why he hadn’t been to Busan, it felt like exposing a flaw.

As Haejin felt unnecessarily embarrassed, Beomwoo, without looking at him, kept his eyes on the road ahead and answered lightly.

“I haven’t been many times either. At most, once or twice.”

“…Really? I thought you’d have been many times.”

“Since I don’t enjoy traveling, I only went when there was work. Even then, only the work location and people changed; I never really looked around.”

“Ah…”

Indeed, even when going far overseas, he wasn’t much interested in sightseeing and just worked.

Unless there was business, he likely had no particular reason to go to Busan.

Today was also because of the business trip.

“But this business trip is…”

“…?”

Nodding as he recalled the past, thinking it made sense, Beomwoo’s voice lowered slightly, different from when he spoke of past experiences, before trailing off.

What was he trying to say?

As Haejin turned his head toward the driver’s seat and looked at him, Beomwoo, who had been focusing ahead, looked at him and raised the corner of his mouth almost imperceptibly.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“……”

His expression as he said he was looking forward to it and made eye contact made it seem like he felt that emotion because of him.

Clearly, when asking if he wanted to come on the business trip, he said it was only for safety, with no other intention.

But now, it felt as if this trip carried some other meaning.

The face suppressing fluttering emotions looked similar to the feeling he had when Beomwoo asked if he wanted to come on the trip, when he alone felt excited, making his forehead grow hot.

“It’ll take three or four hours to arrive, so get some rest.”

“Ah, okay…”

It might just be his own delusion.

Because of that, when Haejin could only look at him with a strange expression without saying anything, Beomwoo turned his attention back to the road and changed the subject.

It was early morning, and they had a long way to go to reach Busan.

Even though Haejin was in the passenger seat, he said it was fine if he slept in the seat next to him, suggesting he rest.

Haejin hastily nodded and pretended to close his eyes, but his heart was turbulent, and the darker it got, the clearer his mind became.

With these feelings, sleep wouldn’t come easily.