A Thorn of Doubt and a Glimmer of Hope

“Nonsense, I’m being perfectly serious!” Utterly unaware of Qin Xiyao’s inner turmoil, Bai Muxue blinked playfully, a smile gracing her lips. 1

“Hmph…”

Qin Xiyao let out a soft hum, saying nothing more, simply shifting her gaze away from Bai Muxue.

Even though she had just experienced the longed-for intimate touch, Bai Muxue’s earlier words had pierced her heart like a thorn, making it impossible for Qin Xiyao to forget them.

‘Xiaoxue’s friend… they must be very important to her, right?’ Qin Xiyao mused inwardly.

‘So important that… I can’t even compare.’

These were no mere polite pleasantries; she could sense the genuine joy and emotion that welled up from Bai Muxue’s heart as she spoke.

‘What must I do to become the most important person in Xiaoxue’s heart?’

Qin Xiyao knew such thoughts were dark and awkward, yet the tumultuous emotions surged within her like a dam that had burst.

She didn’t want Bai Muxue to know her true feelings, fearing it would surely drive her away, but she also worried that if she continued to observe from a distance, someone else would inevitably seize the opportunity first.

‘Was she to remain hesitant forever, only to regret it later?’

Such conflicting thoughts caused Qin Xiyao’s slender fingertips to unconsciously intertwine.

After stealing another glance at Bai Muxue, who was sipping her milk tea with her head bowed, Qin Xiyao still couldn’t suppress the impulse within her, speaking as if casually:

“Speaking of which, Xiaoxue, did you only ask me out because your friend gave you the tickets?”

As the words escaped her lips, Qin Xiyao felt her entire body tremble, utterly afraid to turn her head and observe Bai Muxue’s expression.

“Hmm… you could say that. After all, someone gave me the tickets, and it would be such a waste not to go.”

‘As expected… so it was true?’

‘I was just… called along as an afterthought.’

Silently clutching the hem of her skirt, Qin Xiyao desperately suppressed the urge to cry, striving to keep her voice steady as usual: “So, I-I was just making up the numbers, huh… Sigh.”

“Ahaha, just kidding, don’t mind it, don’t mind it~”

Noticing a distinct change in Qin Xiyao’s tone, Bai Muxue quickly discarded her playful demeanor, looking into the girl’s eyes and stating each word deliberately:

“Regardless of whether I had these two performance tickets, I would have still invited Xiyao out.”

“I know that you haven’t been in the best spirits lately, Xiyao, since your aunt hasn’t been home. And Xiyao, you are a very important person to me… that’s why I wanted to ask you out; I wanted to make you a little happier.”

A mischievous glint sparkled in Bai Muxue’s eyes, and the words she uttered after careful consideration were undoubtedly designed to stir Qin Xiyao’s heart.

While she didn’t know the intricate details of Qin Xiyao’s thoughts, having navigated the corporate world for nearly two decades, she could naturally tell that the young girl was being difficult.

As luck would have it, Bai Muxue possessed considerable combat experience when it came to dealing with a young girl’s sulks and tantrums.

Sure enough, upon hearing the “sincere” words, Qin Xiyao first paused in slight astonishment, then glanced at Bai Muxue with a hint of disbelief, only to swiftly avert her gaze.

“Eh, is that really true?”

Qin Xiyao’s fingers twisted a stray lock of hair near her ear as she whispered, somewhat stammering: “You’re not just saying nice things to humor me, are you?”

Bai Muxue waved a dismissive hand, unconcerned: “How could that be? Hmph, when have I ever spoken insincerely?”

“…”

Hearing this, Qin Xiyao fell silent, attempting to suppress all the various vexed emotions back into her heart.

‘Xiaoxue just said I was important to her, but what about that other girl? What position does she hold in Xiaoxue’s heart?’

Yet, Qin Xiyao would never truly voice such words… she lacked the courage, and she feared hearing an undesirable answer.

‘Since… Xiaoxue said so, said I was important, then I should naturally be happy.’

‘No one would like a girl who’s too petty and throws tantrums at the slightest provocation, right?’

‘Moreover, for Young Miss Bai, what did two performance tickets matter? Was it really about wasting them or not?’

‘She definitely asked me out because she cares about me!’

Qin Xiyao repeatedly reassured herself in the depths of her heart.

For her, for someone who had lacked care and friendship since childhood, she needed this degree of self-reassurance to maintain her usual graceful composure in front of Bai Muxue.

Qin Xiyao prided herself on not having a more outstanding appearance than the unseen Shen Jingyi, or that other girl… so she chose to approach things from a different angle.

‘Just now… Xiaoxue also said that girl loves to sleep in, is quite scatterbrained, and makes it hard to understand her true thoughts…’

‘Then I will strive to be graceful and composed, not cause Xiaoxue any trouble, and never argue with her without reason!’

‘If I do this… I can definitely occupy an even more important place in Xiaoxue’s heart, right?’

Qin Xiyao believed this implicitly, repeatedly giving herself such suggestions in her mind—just as mothers preferred more considerate daughters, Xiaoxue would surely prefer well-behaved and obedient girls, wouldn’t she?

‘Yes, that’s right, it must be so!’

She diligently dispelled all the dark thoughts from the depths of her heart, and when Qin Xiyao finally raised her head again, Bai Muxue’s eyes met the same gentle smile as always, shimmering faintly in the sunlight.

“Alright, it’s getting late now, shouldn’t we hurry over to the performance?”

Qin Xiyao stood up, her skirt swaying gently, stirring a faint ripple of perfume in the air.

“Let’s go.”

With a soft smile, she coyly stepped in front of Bai Muxue and naturally took her small hand.

****

The performance was to be held at an outdoor stage.

By the time the two hurried through security and finally arrived at the venue, the area was already teeming with a bustling crowd.

‘That small elevated stage… I remember those elementary and middle school cultural performances used to be held here, too?’

Pulling Qin Xiyao along to settle comfortably into their seats, Bai Muxue surveyed the surroundings, which were already entirely occupied by enthusiastic fans, and couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow slightly.

‘Strictly speaking, the scale of this so-called performance was quite different from the concert she had initially envisioned in her mind.’

However, comparing this kind of girl band to a popular singer’s concert would be unfair.

Bai Muxue watched the staff bustling about, setting up the stage and meticulously calibrating the equipment, and couldn’t help but let out a self-deprecating chuckle.

“…Even though it’s just an outdoor performance, their equipment seems quite good.”

Qin Xiyao, standing beside her, looked at the various instruments being placed on the stage and commented with a hint of surprise.

“Eh? Xiyao, you know about these things?”

Bai Muxue turned her head, slightly surprised—she was completely clueless about such matters, purely there for entertainment, but she hadn’t expected Qin Xiyao to actually know about musical instruments.

“Not really ‘know,’ ” Qin Xiyao gently shook her head, “I’ve rehearsed with the school’s music club before, so I just have a little understanding.”

“The equipment is complete, and the lighting effects look good; the overall audio-visual experience of the performance probably won’t be bad, right?”

Qin Xiyao smiled sweetly at the girl; she had originally come simply to accompany Bai Muxue, but now a touch of anticipation had bloomed in her heart.

“I see…”

Hearing this, Bai Muxue nodded thoughtfully, then shifted her gaze to the surrounding audience.

Just like her and Qin Xiyao, all the audience members were girls of similar age… While Bai Muxue wasn’t entirely sure about the band’s popularity, judging by the stage’s scale, they were likely a diligent but not top-tier group, weren’t they?

Xingwan had once told her that many fans like herself enjoyed supporting these less popular girl bands, feeling a bit like watching their own children grow up.

“Eh, what are you talking about? Your old dad here raised you with such hardship, and I don’t get particularly sentimental. Why are you so moved by a band idol that you’re practically dying?”

She vaguely recalled teasing Xingwan with that remark after Xingwan had told her this.

“Hmph hmph hmph, Old Dad, you just don’t get it, do you?”

Tang Xingwan puffed out her chest slightly, saying proudly: “Watching your ‘oshi’ (TL Note: A Japanese term referring to a favorite idol or performer) gradually ascend to bigger stages feels as if your own dreams are slowly coming true!”

“Girl bands, just like idols, are professions that sell dreams, Old Dad!”

Waving her small fists, her eyes sparkling with aspiration, she exclaimed: “Do you understand ‘nurturing type’ (TL Note: A genre or concept where fans follow and support idols from their early stages of development)! Nurturing type!”

‘Nurturing type, huh…’

Gazing at the meticulously prepared stage and the expectant, youthful faces surrounding her, Bai Muxue slowly emerged from her recollections, letting out a soft, lingering sigh.

“I think… I’m starting to understand Xingwan’s feelings.”