Confessions Between Pasts and Hearts

“under…!”

Haejin let out a hollow laugh at the absurdity of the situation, then glared at Beomwoo with accusing eyes.

What on earth must he have thought, seeing me push him away when he clearly knew I liked him?

Was it amusing?

Even if he pretended to be desperate in front of me, he probably knew the truth.

Didn’t I look ridiculous and pathetic, unable to break things off no matter how hard I tried?

Even when I was in a car accident, so similar to my past life, I thought that just by not dying, my life had changed.

That my choices were reshaping my life.

So, even while being hit by a car, unable to move as I wished and in excruciating pain, I managed to stay as positive as possible.

But this wasn’t that.

At least lie.

At least make an excuse, if you have any conscience left.

Seeing him unable to do even that filled Haejin with even greater anger and a sense of betrayal.

“So… you were toying with me? Did you have fun?”

“No! I never toyed with you.”

“Really? Then why didn’t you say anything? You probably noticed I was different from last time, didn’t you, Beomwoo?”

“…….”

When Haejin questioned him sharply, glaring, Beomwoo, who had been hanging his head like a guilty man, suddenly raised his head to defend himself.

He pleaded for Haejin to believe his sincerity, that he wasn’t playing around.

But he couldn’t answer the next question about why he had hidden it.

Even if Haejin tried to think rationally, considering Beomwoo’s perspective as much as possible, it might have been difficult to bring up the topic of regression.

Haejin himself was reluctant to discuss his past, and every time he had to forcefully push away a man who was being affectionate, he wanted to explain why he had to do this, but swallowed his words, thinking the idea of regression was absurd.

But from the moment they first met in this life, Beomwoo must have noticed that Haejin was drastically different.

Seeing him behave in a way completely opposite to his past self, wouldn’t he have thought they had regressed together?

No matter how much he thought about it, the only conclusion Haejin could reach was that Beomwoo had been toying with him.

As Haejin glared, Beomwoo, looking ashamed but unable to speak, bit his lower lip hesitantly before cautiously opening his mouth.

“I never thought we regressed together. More than that… I just thought it was my punishment.”

“…….”

“I thought Haejin hating me in this life was punishment for my past life. For making Haejin so lonely with my indifference… a punishment.”

It seemed Beomwoo felt that if he didn’t say anything this time, Haejin would believe he had been deceiving and toying with him.

So he began to carefully explain why he hadn’t been able to tell anyone about his regression until now, despite his embarrassment.

Hearing it, Haejin understood that Beomwoo didn’t attribute his changed attitude to regression.

Instead, he believed he was being punished in this life for his indifference toward Haejin in the past life.

Haejin, too, had found Beomwoo’s changed demeanor odd but believed it was due to his own different reactions.

In that context, Beomwoo might have considered it a different reason rather than shared regression.

Returning to that point in time was absurd to begin with, so it wasn’t easy to assume someone had regressed just because their personality changed.

But Haejin was so agitated now that anything Beomwoo said sounded like an excuse.

Earlier, he had wished for at least an excuse, but hearing the explanation only made his heart grow colder.

“If that were the case, you should have let me go. Even if you thought that way, wouldn’t it have been difficult to give up the inheritance?”

If he thought God was punishing him, and if he regretted it, then he should have let Haejin go.

If he knew that in his past life, he couldn’t do anything for Haejin, that he never gave him love, and that Haejin lived and died alone, shouldn’t he have let him go in this life so he could start a family with someone he loved?

Guilt couldn’t be love.

And just as Haejin couldn’t force himself to break his feelings for Beomwoo, Beomwoo couldn’t force feelings he didn’t have.

Knowing this all too well, no matter how well Beomwoo treated him in this life and how sincere he seemed, once Haejin realized he was the same person from before, his actions didn’t seem genuine.

Because he didn’t like him.

“In the end, it must be because of the inheritance.”

Haejin still looked at him coldly and spoke coldly.

Beomwoo’s hardened face flinched.

Beomwoo spoke with a guilty expression, as if he felt he had deceived Haejin, intentionally or not.

“I knew I should have, but I couldn’t. I thought there must be a reason the world turned back time to give me a chance. Seriously, it wasn’t to steal the inheritance or anything like that.”

“……Ha.”

A chance?

Haejin laughed hollowly, seemingly taken aback by Beomwoo’s words.

When he returned to the past, the word “chance” never crossed his mind.

Why, of all moments, had he returned to this point?

It felt less like God giving him a chance and more like forcing him to experience hell again.

He had acted differently and persevered, thinking he might change the future, but now it all felt useless.

Even if he gave in a hundred times and believed Beomwoo had been kind for reasons other than the inheritance, he could think of only one other reason.

“Do you pity me?”

“No!”

He had been abused by his adoptive parents, had wanted to leave but lacked money or ability, had craved love in the past and died lonely and hopeless.

Beomwoo probably knew all this.

Pity was likely the reason.

He probably never worried about it before, so maybe he felt sorry.

Thinking this, Haejin said it, but Beomwoo immediately denied it as if it were something outrageous.

But no matter how much he denied it, Haejin couldn’t take his words at face value.

If it wasn’t for the inheritance or pity, there was no reason for him to let Haejin stay and treat him so well.

Since he’s a good actor, there must be lies mixed in.

While Haejin was thinking this with maximum sarcasm, Beomwoo, perhaps embarrassed by having raised his voice in his urgency, flushed slightly at the ears, lowered his voice, and continued in a cautious tone.

“I know why you think that way about me. Because I always took Haejin’s presence for granted, I couldn’t express my feelings. I wasn’t that type of person either… This must sound like an excuse.”

“…….”

“……I regretted it so much after Haejin died like that.”

Beomwoo spoke in a fluster, then seemed to realize such words wouldn’t reach Haejin and spoke again.

He said he deeply regretted it after Haejin died in a traffic accident in their past life.

Regret must be the emotion he felt for treating him coldly and failing him.

But wasn’t that also born from pity?

As Haejin remained silent, not reacting and just watching him with cold eyes, Beomwoo bit his lower lip and finally spoke, as if sighing.

“It’s not pity or anything like that… It’s because I liked you, Haejin. That’s why I didn’t want to lose you again.”

“…….”

“Since I was given a chance, I wanted to start over in this life. Start completely from the beginning, and unlike the past life… I wanted to give you everything.”

…What?

Beomwoo in front of him kept talking, but after his first sentence, nothing else properly reached Haejin’s ears.

What is this person saying… right now?

Did he just say… he likes me?

It wasn’t the first or second time Beomwoo had said he liked him in this life.

He had been flustered then too, but now he found those words even harder to believe.

It wasn’t that he developed feelings gradually after meeting him in this life, but that he had those feelings from the very moment he regressed?

When I longed for even a shred of warmth but never received it… he says he liked me?