“My kidneys ache, big sister! Take it easy, take it easy.
Princess Ailei settled herself beside Qiweiya, who remained utterly bewildered. Qiweiya’s heart pounded wildly, a tempest of emotions swirling within her.
Truth be told, as someone who had lived two lives as a ‘man,’ Qiweiya had never once dated a girl. To be precise, she hadn’t even held a girl’s hand.
Every Valentine’s Day, she had been a loyal member of the FFF Brigade, and during the Qixi Festival, she was always present, armed with gasoline, a scythe, black robes, and a torch.
Her current emotions were incredibly complex. To put it plainly, it was a chaotic mix of ‘I’m so excited! I’m about to transform into a wolf! I really want to push her down!’ and similar thoughts.
Yet, Qiweiya was also a ‘closet pervert’ – someone with lustful thoughts but no actual courage. Otherwise, in her first life, she would have already achieved the feat of ‘passing through a field of flowers without a single petal clinging to her.’
Thus, she chickened out. Just like now, she found herself asking, “Goddess sister, how did you spend tens of thousands of years without the company of a lover?”
“Goddess sister, did you have any good friends before?” “Goddess sister, what are your periods like? Do they hurt like hell, just like ours?”
Qiweiya’s face turned a shade of sickly green. ‘Sister, can you please stop asking such private questions? We’re really not that close at all!’ she thought, exasperated. ‘And you’re even asking about periods…’
‘I don’t think that’s a topic for people who’ve just met, no matter what! You’re even asking if I have good friends! Where did you come from, the water meter reader?’
“Sister, your bust size seems smaller than mine! You should eat more things that are good for your chest, or else you’ll always be this small, and no man will ever want you!”
Qiweiya muttered under her breath, ‘What does it matter to you if my chest is small or not? Whether a man wants me is none of your business either! Besides, as an Origin God, I’ve been a loli with a permanent shelf life since birth, alright?’
Ailei gazed at her with pity for a few seconds. “Sister, even though your figure is a bit unfortunate, you must believe that there are men who will like your type! Trust yourself, you can’t go wrong!”
Ailei’s expression at the end was one of pure encouragement.
Qiweiya felt this was the most conflicted day of her life. ‘Sister, where did you come from, a matchmaker? You’ve brought your matchmaking business all the way to an Origin God! Why do I absolutely need a man to want me? I like girls, alright? Cute, adorable girls!’
Qiweiya responded to Ailei, “How about it, little sister? What do you think about marrying me? This Origin God, with no figure to speak of, isn’t wanted by any man either.
“I’ll just find a pleasant, naturally friendly girl! I think you’re pretty good—so naturally friendly! It’ll be convenient when we start getting along!”
To Qiweiya’s surprise, Ailei actually pondered this very seriously. Qiweiya slapped her own face. ‘It’s over…’
“Sister, while I think your suggestion is good, I am the sole heir of the Demon Royalty! So, for that to happen, you would have to marry into my family.”
Just then, Kazhan turned his head and overheard Ailei’s words, promptly spitting out a mouthful of water. “Ailei, come back here. You’ve already ‘taken good care’ of the Goddess!”
Kazhan clearly knew what kind of person Ailei was. ‘But I can’t pretend I didn’t hear that “taken good care” part! You definitely sent your daughter to annoy me on purpose, didn’t you?’ Qiweiya fumed internally.
‘Is it really necessary? All I did was break a hundred of your bones! You’re not fit to be an emperor! With such a petty mind, your subordinates must have a terrible life!’
Ailei looked bewildered. “Is Father calling me? But I haven’t even fulfilled my duties as a host yet!” Qiweiya’s face paled. ‘Girl, please go back to your dad! My little boat really can’t handle such a powerful, god-slaying weapon like you!’
Ailei hesitated, then added, “But Goddess sister is so pitiful. With a body that will never grow up, she’s afraid no man will ever want her, and now she’s even proposing to me… I want to try and persuade her first.”
Kazhan’s distorted expression clearly showed he was struggling immensely to suppress his laughter. If Qiweiya hadn’t been glaring at him threateningly, he would have burst out laughing already.
Kazhan rubbed his temples, taking a moment to compose himself. “Ailei, your Goddess has been like this for tens of thousands of years now. She can handle herself; you don’t need to worry about her.”
Qiweiya bared her teeth. ‘What do you mean by that, you jerk? Are you wishing me a lifetime of singlehood? Happy single life? If you keep talking like that, I really *will* take your daughter! I’m telling you, don’t think I’m easy to bully! What’s wrong with being a loli? Even a cornered rabbit bites! Although I’m a loli (sobbing), my heart is still that of a man! Even if I’m looking for a partner, I’ll find a cute little loli (a dead loli-con) or a strikingly handsome older sister (a child who doesn’t get enough milk), and those tsundere maidens aren’t bad either, alright! (Four otaku are disgusting~)’
For some reason, the more Qiweiya thought about it, the more depressed she became. She felt like she was truly venturing further down the path of the legendary ‘Die curtilage’.
‘Where is this faint melancholy coming from? Have my morals already turned negative? Orz’
****
Under Kazhan’s tireless persuasion, Ailei finally returned to his side, taking three steps back for every one forward, clearly reluctant to leave. She looked at Qiweiya with a mournful expression, as if blaming her for not stopping her.
The banquet was nearing its end, and Demon King Kazhan finally adopted a serious demeanor to address the main topic. “Ice Goddess, what is your ultimate purpose for coming to the Demon Realm this time?”
“Don’t give me some absurd excuse about just ‘playing around.’ There are no fools here; no one will believe that.”
Qiweiya felt incredibly awkward, because the truth *was* that she had come down to play around! Although, more accurately, she was being played by Butler-mama.
But how could she possibly say something so embarrassing in front of so many people?
Qiweiya activated her ‘speaking nonsense with a straight face’ mode. “I did indeed descend to the mortal realm for a very important matter!”
Everyone present perked up their ears. “That is, my followers complain every day that they don’t have enough money for milk powder.”
“Boom!” Kazhan unleashed a powerful aura. “Goddess, please stop messing with us! After tens of thousands of years, the First Origin God descends to the mortal realm once again, only to demand money for milk powder? Do you truly believe anyone will believe that?”
Qiweiya’s eyes welled up. ‘Persistence is victory,’ she thought. “But I really did come to do this! My followers are wailing, and I haven’t done anything, which makes my heart uneasy!”
Kazhan stroked his chin. “Fine, I’ll assume you’re such a brain-dead individual who neglects even the more important Demon Royalty invasion for the sake of milk powder money!”
Ignoring Qiweiya’s protests from below, he continued, “But you’ve seen how impoverished our realm is. Aside from the dense Malefic Energy in the air and the Demon Realm creatures not found on the continent, we have nothing else that could tempt anyone!”
As Qiweiya recalled the sights she had witnessed upon entering the Demon Realm, her eyes stung with sorrow. Indeed, they couldn’t be blamed for the Demon Realm’s invasion of the continent.
They were so poor they were practically eating dirt; what else could they do?
Qiweiya’s expression grew somber. “I truly bear no ill will, alright? As Origin Gods, we are the purest beings. We absolutely do not meddle or concern ourselves much with worldly affairs.
“Because even a single trace of our power leaking out would be a devastating blow to the world. My final strike against you was merely a tiny fraction of one ten-thousandth of my power. This is also why Origin Gods cannot freely leave the God Realm; only the God Realm can withstand our continuously growing Origin.”
Everyone present fell silent. They all knew the immense power of Qiweiya’s final strike. And to think that such power was merely a tiny fraction of one ten-thousandth.