The Hero’s Unsettling Awakening

I am the Hero.

Though I say that, I haven’t quite come to terms with being the Hero yet. My journey is about to begin, yet I feel completely unprepared.

Gazing at the sunlight streaming through the window, at the familiar street outside, a sense of profound loss washed over me. It felt as though something momentous had happened last night, something that had deeply stirred me, yet I couldn’t recall a single detail…

I rose and stretched, a long, languid arch of my back.

‘Huh? Why does the bed feel so lumpy today?’ I shifted my body, and—oof! Something unexpectedly poked me!

I spun around abruptly, only to discover I had been lying on a sleeping Helter! To make matters worse, he was completely naked!

Panicked, I hastily checked myself. Fortunately, I was still fully clothed. Nothing untoward had happened.

“Hey! Get up, you!”

I delivered a swift kick, my big toe burrowing directly into his nostril.

“Huh?” Helter jolted. “Enemies?!” He sprang to his feet, and since I was standing on him, I instantly lost my balance and tumbled back onto the bed.

‘Ow, my butt! That hurt like hell!’

“Lu Ren, what’s wrong? What happened? Why do you look so pained?!” Helter asked, his voice laced with concern.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s wrong’!” I retorted, utterly exasperated. “Why are you sleeping with me?!” I asked, rubbing my sore backside as I stood up.

“Because there’s only one bed? What’s the big deal? Haven’t we slept together before when we were drunk?”

“Drunk? What drunk? Was I drunk?”

I exhaled onto my hand and took a sniff. ‘Ugh, a strong scent of alcohol. It seems it’s true…’

“Then what’s with the naked sleeping?!” I roared.

“Ah… that’s just how I usually sleep.”

“You never did that before!”

“Before, when I was drunk, I’d just pass out. But last night I wasn’t drunk, so I naturally remembered to take off my clothes. Hmm? Where’s my blanket?” Helter feigned ignorance, searching for a blanket.

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa! That… is huge… and it’s swinging around… Don’t misunderstand! I’m talking about his pectorals!’

“Can you please be a little more modest?!”

“Huh? Modest? What modesty?”

“The limit of a convergent function… Bah, what am I saying? I mean, pay attention to yourself!”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“You’re a man!”

“So what if I’m a man?”

“So what… you should be mindful of me!”

“What’s wrong with you now?”

“I’m a girl now!”

“So what if you’re a girl?”

“You’re a man!”

“So what if I’m a man?”

‘Damn it, I’m stuck in a loop!’

“Argh! What I mean is, you’re standing here in this… indescribable state, right next to a girl! What if someone sees us?!”

“Will someone see us?”

“What if, I said what if! Do you understand?! Like the Blacksmith next door!”

No sooner had I spoken than—

Bang! The door burst open!

‘Whoa! A bald head!’

“I heard the Hero calling for me!”

The Blacksmith had charged in, his face wreathed in a cheerful smile…

Then, you could practically see his smile slowly vanish… The expression, transitioning from light to utter darkness, was incredibly vivid!

“My apologies.” The Blacksmith quickly shut the door.

“See… the ‘what if’ happened…” I slapped my forehead dramatically.

“I’ll stop him!” Without another word, Helter bolted out the door!

“Brother! You’re naked right now!”

“Wow—” “Ahhhhhh!” “Oh—”

A chorus of infatuated girls’ exclamations echoed from outside. ‘I knew it…’

Half an hour later.

Helter finally returned, having donned a pair of shorts.

“Don’t worry, Lu Ren, the Blacksmith won’t say anything!”

“You probably scared him into psychological trauma by charging out naked…”

“Mm.”

‘”Mm” my foot!’ I was speechless. ‘Forget it, I should figure out what happened last night first.’

“How did I get drunk last night?”

“I’m not sure. I just saw you making a ruckus and drinking three bottles, then you just collapsed onto the bed.”

‘Fantastic! Concise, yet utterly unhelpful! I shouldn’t have asked you!’

“Key? Key?” I patted my chest.

After a flash of light, Key appeared before me. She stretched, then greeted me, “Good morning, Hero.”

“There’s nothing good about it…”

“Good morning, Swordsman…” Key turned, her gaze falling upon Helter…

Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle—a torrent of nosebleed instantly gushed from the little fairy’s nose. “Ah—that robust body—I can’t take it—” Then she tumbled into my arms, gasping for breath.

“Hey, hey, don’t get carried away. I have something important to ask…”

“What is it?”

“Why did I get drunk last night… I woke up this morning thinking I’d lost my virginity…”

“About that… Hero, even if there was a night of passion last night, it wouldn’t be your first time. Ah, no, I should say the Hero’s body wouldn’t be a virgin.”

‘There are three core values: worldview, outlook on life, and values. Guess how many I have left after finding out the Hero wasn’t a virgin? None at all!’

“Could it be that Lu Ren, you actually… assaulted the Hero’s body?” Helter asked, without a moment’s thought.

“Assault my foot! I just found out myself! Waaahhh, am I really not a virgin now? I haven’t even been in a relationship! Heaven, you can’t do this to me!”

“Cough, cough, didn’t I tell you quietly yesterday? Why are you still reacting like this?”

“Could it be… the reason I got drunk…”

Indeed, last night, when Key praised Helter, I had quipped that he only looked tough on the surface but was actually quite weak, perhaps even a ‘three-second man.’

She grew displeased, then declared that I was currently occupying an impure body!

‘Impure? Wait! What does that mean?’ At the time, I had asked her, utterly perplexed.

Then she explained that before the Heroine became the Hero, she had a secret identity…

‘Can you guess what it was? Have you heard of a brothel? It was a place like that, and the Heroine was one of its members before she became the Hero… Argh, I can’t even say it! All my beautiful fantasies about the Heroine! I thought she was absolutely pure… Argh, I loved her!’

“That’s truly pitiful… that profession isn’t…”

“Helter, don’t say another word!” I cried, clutching my head. “I remember now, all the psychological torment from last night!”

“It’s alright. Only you, I, and the Swordsman know now. Those who were with you before have long forgotten who you are.”

“Key, stop talking!”

An hour later.

“Waaahhh!” Tears continued to stream down my face.

“There, there, it’ll be fine once you’ve cried it all out…” Helter gently patted my back.

“It’s just old history, don’t mind it, don’t mind it…” Key softly stroked the bridge of my nose.

An hour later.

“Why, why, why…” I mused tragically about life.

“Alright, alright, once you’ve finished thinking, it’ll pass…”

“Was the blow really that severe… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything…”

An hour later.

“A philosopher, Kaneki Ken, once said—[The fault is not in me, but in the world!]” ‘Though I have no idea who Kaneki Ken is!’

“That’s right, that’s right. The fault isn’t yours. Once you’ve lamented, it’ll pass…”

“The fault is mine… I shouldn’t have spoken…” Key grew increasingly exasperated.

An hour later.

“I’ve decided! I’m going to save this dark world! I am the Hero! I will make this dark world pay! Demon King! I will destroy you!” I roared, tears still in my eyes.

“Oh, oh, redirecting your anger is a good thing,” Helter said, patting my head. “Lu Ren, you’ve finally rekindled your hope!”

“Sigh… Though I really want to comment on how this was the trigger for you accepting your role as the Hero… Still, congratulations. You finally have resolve…” Key sighed.

“Key, Helter, the Hero’s purpose in Newbie Village is to retrieve the Holy Sword from the forest! Let’s set off immediately! Not a moment to lose!”

“Mm!” Both nodded.

And so, the Hero and her companions embarked on their journey!

“By the way, it’s already noon, isn’t it? How about we eat lunch before we go?” Helter suggested.

Thus, the Hero and her companions decided to embark on their journey after lunch.