I Couldn’t Ask Him for That

After ending the conversation with Beomwoo, Haejin tossed and turned before finally falling asleep.

Though he said he would rest, he hadn’t planned to sleep deeply.

Perhaps because his physical condition was so poor, he didn’t wake until the next day.

The hospital in the morning seemed quite busy.

The doctor making rounds briefly inquired about Haejin’s condition, a nurse came to check his blood pressure and pulse, periodically changed his IV drip, and brought him medication.

Since it was his first time being hospitalized, everything felt unfamiliar and bewildering.

But more than that, what occupied Haejin’s entire attention was Beomwoo.

It seemed he was sincere about personally providing care, as he appeared to have stayed by Haejin’s side even while he slept.

He had changed into comfortable clothes, so Haejin wondered, ‘Did he go home last night and come back?’

But seeing him excuse himself to wash up before the doctor’s rounds, it seemed he had slept here.

It was a VIP room with a space for a caregiver to sleep, and it looked as nice as a regular home.

But still, it was a hospital.

Haejin, being the patient, had slept like a log, but Beomwoo had lived his whole life in luxury.

Considering that after they started living together, Beomwoo surprisingly slept well even on a blanket laid on the floor, he might not mind an uncomfortable sleeping arrangement.

But he was definitely a light sleeper.

Even though their home was quiet, the hospital had noises—nurses coming in to check on him, footsteps outside—that would clearly be uncomfortable…

As mentioned before, he could have hired a caregiver.

It was hard to understand why someone who had never done such things would deliberately choose to suffer.

While Haejin was lost in these thoughts while looking at Beomwoo, the faint smell of food wafted in from outside the room.

Checking the time, it seemed to be about breakfast time.

Grrroowl—

“…….”

He had only thought about it, and it wasn’t even a particularly delicious smell.

But as the scent of food reached his nose, the hunger he had forgotten surged, and his stomach instantly growled.

Though it was a quiet sound, the surroundings were so silent that the stomach rumble echoed embarrassingly loud in the room.

…Did he hear it?

It was a physiological phenomenon, and they had even shared the experience of being married in a past life, having seen too much of each other.

But even so, Haejin was the type to feel embarrassed even by such trivial things.

Even during their years as a married couple, he had never let such bodily functions slip out.

Because of that, even though it was just a stomach rumble, Haejin felt exceptionally embarrassed.

Pretending not to notice, he subtly glanced at Beomwoo.

Beomwoo, who had been briefly checking work on a tablet, set the device down on the table and stood up.

“I’ll bring your meal.”

“…….”

He heard it…

No matter how broken their relationship was, embarrassment was still embarrassment.

Haejin had hoped he hadn’t heard…

Heat rose to his face, but this wasn’t a situation where he could make up an excuse.

It was indeed mealtime, and trying to deny it or claim he wasn’t hungry would only confirm the growling sound.

He felt like kicking the blankets off in frustration, but his leg was in a cast, so he couldn’t.

While hospitalized, his condition had improved enough for the neck brace to be removed, but his leg and arm were still immobilized, leaving him unable to do much.

While Haejin was stewing in embarrassment with no outlet, the hospital room door slid open.

Beomwoo held a tray with the meal.

Returning, Beomwoo turned the lever beside the bed to raise it.

He helped Haejin sit up against the bed, then placed the hospital meal on the table attached to the bed.

Haejin vaguely remembered hearing somewhere that ‘hospital food is tasteless.’

Even though it was a regular meal, it didn’t look particularly appetizing.

But perhaps because he was so hungry, even the hospital food looked delicious to Haejin.

Maybe due to over-treatment until yesterday, though still uncomfortable, he could at least move his casted hand.

Still, his body wasn’t fully obedient, and as he strained to grab the utensils, Beomwoo snatched them away before he could.

…What’s this?

As Haejin looked at Beomwoo questioningly, the latter nonchalantly scooped a spoonful of rice and held it to Haejin’s mouth, saying:

“Ah, open up.”

“……?”

Was he planning to feed him?

His casts weren’t fully removed, and even the slight movement to hold the spoon was difficult, his arm aching dully.

But did that warrant being fed like this?

He understood the consideration, but it felt excessive.

Haejin looked down at the spoon held to his mouth, then spoke to him with an uncomfortable expression.

“You don’t need to go this far…”

“You can’t use your hands. Just accept the help.”

“……”

He had meant to refuse, saying it really wasn’t necessary and he could manage, but Beomwoo spoke as if it were only natural to do this for a patient, acting completely unperturbed.

As if there were no ulterior motives or intentions behind the act of feeding him.

Seeing Beomwoo like that made Haejin feel embarrassed, as if he were the one attaching meaning to every action.

In reality, while Haejin could technically feed himself, it wasn’t easy.

So receiving help was better.

It was just his own stubbornness—feeling burdened and not wanting to accept help from this person…

Even knowing it was his own stubbornness, Haejin still wanted to refuse the kindness and eat by himself.

But Haejin knew Beomwoo’s personality all too well.

That persistent, tenacious nature where he clung to what he wanted until he achieved it.

Right now, Beomwoo was treading carefully, trying not to upset him.

If Haejin genuinely got angry and refused, he likely wouldn’t force it.

But getting angry required energy, and in a way, this was too trivial a matter.

It didn’t seem worth getting worked up over, and above all, he was hungry.

After looking at Beomwoo, Haejin resigned himself and opened his mouth.

Once Haejin consented, Beomwoo helped by offering side dishes, bringing water, and ensuring Haejin ate a balanced meal.

He seemed to know exactly what Haejin wanted without being told, making it comfortable to eat.

But after being fed everything, Haejin felt a bit embarrassed, like a baby bird being fed by its mother with its beak open.

Even after all the feelings of betrayal, he had still accepted everything…

While Haejin was momentarily embarrassed during this post-meal reality check, Beomwoo, who had finished cleaning up, pulled a chair beside him, sat down, and spoke.

“About what I suggested yesterday.”

“……Yes?”

“I thought it would be good if we could go into the examination room together for the test around the time you can manage daily life, and hear the results together. What do you think? That way, you could also believe there’s no manipulation.”

Wondering what he was suddenly talking about, it seemed Beomwoo had been concerned about their conversation yesterday.

At the word ‘manipulation,’ Haejin felt a pang of guilt.

He had told Beomwoo not to deceive him then, but he hadn’t really thought Beomwoo would manipulate things.

Beomwoo had said he had never lied to him, and it seemed things had turned out this way because of his mistaken feelings.

He seemed sincere.

So even if Beomwoo got tested immediately without him, it would be fine.

But still, completely severing ties with him until Haejin was discharged would be difficult.

As he had thought yesterday, in the hospital, he had no choice but to rely on Beomwoo’s help and was essentially in his hands.

Resigned, Haejin thought for a moment and nodded.

“Alright. That would be better.”

“Then I’ll schedule it for that time. And until you’re discharged, I’ll be by your side like today, so if there’s anything uncomfortable, feel free to say so. Especially about your physical condition.”

“Yes…”

Beomwoo spoke as if asking Haejin to endure his presence until he recovered, yet firmly insisted that Haejin be completely honest about his condition.

Beomwoo was genuinely worried and seemed concerned Haejin might hide something.

If he knew I was uncomfortable, wouldn’t he give a little…?

Though that thought crossed his mind, Haejin stopped himself from arguing.

After all, this might be the last consideration he’d receive from him.

He decided that even though he disliked Beomwoo intensely, this might be the way to end things with as little hatred and as amicably as possible.

****

“When can the casts come off?”

After finishing the meal and resting for a couple of hours, during a quiet moment, Haejin cautiously asked Beomwoo.

The medical staff had come by and explained his condition, but they had come while he was unconscious or when he was disoriented, so he couldn’t properly remember what was said.

When Haejin asked, Beomwoo, who had been working on a laptop at a nearby table, lifted his head.

Relaxing the focused expression he had while working, as if asking when he had been frowning so seriously, he answered Haejin’s question in a gentle tone.

“From what I heard during the examination, your recovery speed is fast, so they’ll likely remove them within this week. Is something uncomfortable?”

“Yes, well… It’s stifling…”

“Endure it a little longer, even if it’s uncomfortable. If you need anything else, tell me. As I said before, especially about your physical condition, don’t hide anything.”

“Yes…”

Beomwoo spoke reassuringly, telling him to leave everything to him, yet didn’t forget to emphatically remind Haejin, as if worried he might hide his condition and suffer alone.

Haejin’s body was still uncomfortable, and the hospital likely wanted him to move as little as possible so the bones would heal properly.

Even so, asking for personal favors felt awkward and made him self-conscious.

The only saving grace was that even without Haejin having to ask directly, Beomwoo anticipated his needs as if reading his mind.

No, perhaps he cared for Haejin even beyond that level.

After hearing his stomach growl in the morning, Beomwoo brought breakfast early, cleared the tray, managed his medication, helped him brush his teeth, and even washed his face.

Brushing teeth and washing his face were things he could do alone, but something about not getting water on his hands?

Anyway, for various reasons, Beomwoo tried to take care of everything from A to Z.

So, if Haejin asked for something, Beomwoo would likely run over happily to oblige.

But now, even though an awkward situation had arisen, Haejin couldn’t bring himself to ask him.

And for good reason…

He needed to… use the restroom.

Until now, perhaps because he hadn’t eaten much, he hadn’t felt the need.

But maybe because he had started eating… the urge had come.

Just as he had smelled food, gotten hungry, and his stomach growled, this too was a common physiological phenomenon.

Something everyone experiences, nothing to be ashamed of.

But for Haejin, it was difficult to ask for help even with this.

Even though he knew he didn’t need to think of Beomwoo in that way or try to look good in front of him, Haejin was inherently prone to embarrassment and had never asked anyone for help with such things before.