I’ve Been Acting Strange Lately (Zhou Qiuqin’s Perspective)

I walked alone on the streets of the camp. Whenever the patrolling soldiers saw me, they would greet me respectfully.

That’s right. I am their Leader, the one who rules over them.

In this camp, I hold all the power. I stand high above, treating the lives of the people here like grass.

However, some time ago, someone defied my will. A despicable scumbag. I gave her a chance to live; she only needed to come and serve me every night.

She didn’t cherish it. It wasn’t until my subordinates went to her door yesterday that she ran over and knelt before me to apologize.

Given my personality, I should have killed her. But I didn’t.

I don’t know which wire in my brain got crossed. I just kissed her, did the things I usually do, and took a photo of her pathetic state with my phone. That was it. I actually let that person go just like that.

Keep in mind, before I turned that scumbag into a girl, she had poached my partner.

I imagine that guy might be mocking me in her heart?

After that guy left yesterday, Spring came to me. She asked why I was bullying a little girl like that.

So, I told my childhood friend the entire sequence of events. Spring was amazed at my mercy; she believed that such a person didn’t deserve easy forgiveness and should be killed instead.

Before coming here today, I wanted to kill that scumbag—Qin Yue. But looking at her pathetic state, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

The closest I came was when I placed my hand over her eyes. With just a little force, I could have taken away Qin Yue’s sight, and then I could have simply walked away and watched her die of infection or starvation.

I couldn’t do it. Every time I wanted to take her life, looking at her harmless face and those gray, misty eyes, I always stopped halfway.

When I went to see her, I waited outside the door for a long time. Finally, she stumbled over and opened the door for me.

Her home was small and very messy. The first impression was one of sloppiness. She said a thief had broken in yesterday.

Looking around, the most conspicuous thing was a teddy bear. I generally knew that it must have been given to Qin Yue by one of her ex-girlfriends.

Because I was too bored, I gouged out one of the teddy bear’s eyes and threw it in front of her, but she didn’t react much.

Only then did I notice she was injured. She said she fell, and a clothing store owner helped treat her wound. She said she was going to work at that clothing store and was just going to move in there.

Hearing this news, I was a little angry. She is supposed to be my private property; how could she move in with someone else?

I didn’t listen to a word of her explanation. I just pinned her down, wanting to kiss her, to do the things I usually did to her.

She refused me. Looking at the medical tape on her chest, I reluctantly agreed to her request.

There won’t be a next time.

With my usual malice, I stripped off her torn maid outfit and watched her shiver in the cold air.

Only when she was freezing did I dig out a set of her clothes for her to wear. Who told her to make me unhappy? She had to pay some price.

After that, I hugged her.

She is much shorter than me, and very light. She doesn’t have any so-called body fragrance. I rested my chin on the top of her head.

Actually, at that moment, I wanted to snap her neck, but again, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Spring was right. I am still too merciful.

Qin Yue’s golden hair was very soft. It hadn’t become stiff despite the excessively cold weather. The slightly curly strands barely reached her shoulders.

For no reason, a phrase popped into my head—When your hair reaches your waist, will you marry me?

Of course, this phrase doesn’t apply to us. I have no intention of treating Qin Yue as a human being, and she isn’t worthy of being my partner.

Well, Qin Yue’s weight in my heart is probably that of a relatively cute pet? I can’t bear to kill her, but there will be a day when I abandon her.

Being held by me, she kept burrowing into my arms. I felt a little impatient. I am a Leader, a warlord of the apocalypse, not some Mr. Nice Guy.

I ordered her to stop acting cute, so she started boringly playing with her own fingers. I separated her hands, clasped them together, and pinned them above her head.

There was no reason. I just liked seeing her like that.

Perhaps afraid I would do something to her, she told me her neighbors were killed yesterday.

I pushed her out of my embrace, then pulled her back onto the bed, stating categorically that Qin Yue killed them.

I saw her lying on her back, her gray eyes full of confusion. It took a long while before she helplessly said she didn’t have the ability.

Of course I knew Qin Yue didn’t have the ability. I purely wanted to find an excuse to kill her.

That’s right. I didn’t want to kill her, but at the same time, I really wanted to kill her. The recent me has been contradictory like this.

She seemed to realize I was picking a fight, so she told me I could punish her however I wanted.

Seriously, why is she always acting cute? This scumbag seems a bit weird.

She took the initiative to kiss me. Soft lips, with an indescribable scent. The killing intent I had struggled to build up was extinguished once again.

I told her to go to Tongda with the convoy. The purpose was to send her to her death. Since I couldn’t do it myself, I’d let the environment and the mutants do it.

I don’t think she can come back alive.

I saw her eyes go wide, pointing at herself in disbelief. She knew how weak she was, and she knew that I knew how weak she was.

So, those gray eyes quickly dimmed. She had absolutely no desire to go to Tongda.

Indeed, no one wants to march to their death.

I stroked her eye socket. If she dared to refuse, I would gouge out her eyes.

That was what I thought at the time.

Sensing my threat, Qin Yue asked me if there was a hazmat suit. I understood then that she had agreed. Because she couldn’t refuse, she agreed.

The answer, naturally, was no. Since I was sending her to die, I wouldn’t give her life-saving measures.

Leaving behind a bottle of useless anti-radiation pills, I hurriedly left her home. The medicine was real, but it was no longer edible; only the side effects remained.

Simply put, that bottle of medicine had gone bad.

“Hoo…”

The memory ended. I let out a breath, looking at my own hands, feeling a bit at a loss.

The last thing I left for Qin Yue was a bag of potatoes. Even that bag was very small; it probably wouldn’t last for many meals.

Has my anger dissipated? No.

Do I want Qin Yue to die? Yes.

Do I regret it? I also regret it.

Qin Yue is a very cute pet. If I kept her longer, perhaps she could bring me more pleasure.

In the blink of an eye, I see that fawning smile that hangs on Qin Yue’s face almost perpetually. It’s very fake, but it truly makes one happy.

Who doesn’t like a clown that is always flattering you? Especially when this clown is very good at serving people.