The First Outing

Sometimes it is frustrating that even though I am in another world and a prominent first prince of the Empire, all I can do is walk around my room.

It makes me disillusioned.

Why did I possess this body?

Is there a meaning to my presence here?

Well, a terminally ill prince is better than a healthy serf.

I do not have any grand dreams to achieve, and I am quite quick to give up.

If I were a serf, I would have lived a life grateful for a single potato rather than running around trying to change my fate.

Of course, that is just a hypothetical.

Who knows? I might have awakened a hidden ambition and gone around cracking noblemen’s heads with a pickaxe instead of the ground.

“A pickaxe…”

Isaac, standing before me, looked at me with a puzzled expression.

“What is it?”

“It is nothing.”

Liar.

He must have been wondering why a sickly first prince was suddenly mentioning pickaxes.

But I have no obligation to answer a question that was not asked, so I simply nodded dismissively.

Anyway, as I said before, a terminally ill first prince is better than a serf.

This life lacks adventure, beautiful women, dreams, and hope, but it has an abundance that my past self could never have imagined.

For instance, something like this.

“Is this the artifact?”

I picked up a necklace embedded with a ruby as large as a child’s fist.

The gold chain rattled, making a clear, resonant sound.

How much would this even cost?

The gold chain was thick and long, likely to support the weight of the ruby.

It looked like the pyramid necklace worn by the protagonist of a manga who solved everything with card duels.

This one looked far more luxurious and expensive, though.

“Yes. They say it helps manage the power of the Dragon Blood.”

“Is that so?”

I gripped the ruby ornament.

There were no dramatic sensations, like the Dragon Blood coiled in my heart writhing or becoming docile.

It was just strange that it felt lukewarm despite being made of jewels and gold.

I doubted if this would actually be effective, but since I had nothing to lose, I put it around my neck.

“If you had such a thing, you should have given it to me sooner.”

Isaac did not answer.

It was a wise response, as talking back would mean insulting the Emperor, and he could not deny my words as his master.

They say staying silent is worth half as much as a good answer.

While that is not true for every situation, old sayings are generally correct.

As proof, Isaac’s boss—me—saved Isaac Ipsent from a crisis by focusing on the necklace instead of demanding a reaction.

“This is… a bit heavy.”

Well, I had no choice but to focus on it.

The necklace made of a massive ruby and a thick gold chain was heavier than I expected.

It felt like wearing a Galaxy Note 10 around my neck.

It was a formidable presence that would make a healthy person’s neck and shoulders stiff within half a day and cause a turtle neck within a month.

I quietly supported the jewel with my palm.

Setting that aside, let me introduce the first artifact I have obtained since coming to this world.

Its name is “The Breath of Capre.”

Capre is the name of the Dragon God who bestowed a blessing upon the founding emperor, Kaian.

The Breath of a Dragon God for a mere necklace.

Quite grandiose.

However, I am told it deserves such a grand name.

According to the explanation from the eunuch who arrived carrying the box with both hands, it is an incredible treasure for those who have manifested Dragon Blood.

It not only assists in controlling the Dragon Blood but can also amplify it.

Originally an ornament on a sword and then a staff for a while, it became a necklace 150 years ago.

At that time, the person who manifested the strongest Dragon Blood was an imperial princess, so it was redesigned for her.

Modifying a weapon into jewelry just because the user was a woman is quite anachronistic, but it was lucky for me that it was a necklace.

Lately, even a teacup feels heavy enough for me to drop.

If it were a sword, I would never have been able to carry it.

There were many other explanations, but most of them slipped through my mind.

Oh, one remains.

This is a national treasure.

Not just any treasure, but one of the symbols of the Emperor.

I took off the heavy necklace and placed it back into the box lined with red velvet.

The reason such a national treasure suddenly came to me was that I had a reason to leave the spire.

The healthy Emperor suddenly fell ill.

Consequently, the Crown Prince, Kallios, had to take over receiving the foreign delegations, and the task of escorting Sierra fell to me.

The Emperor’s health is a bit concerning, but surely it cannot be worse than mine.

As for me, it is certain that I will die before next spring arrives.

The Emperor will likely live for at least four more years.

Once I brushed aside my concerns, my mood improved again.

I was going to attend Sierra’s social debut ball.

As the partner to my lovely princess.

It is the first ball I have ever attended, but that does not matter.

What matters is that Sierra was so happy she moved to tears when she found out I would be her escort.

Did she hate going with Kallios that much?

No, surely not.

She wouldn’t have cried over something like that.

She must have been happy to spend her once-in-a-lifetime debutante ball with her “kind older brother.”

To her, who lost her mother at birth, I am the only family member she can truly lean on.

Hmm. I hope to have that kind of relationship with Kallios one day… but we have a long way to go.

Maybe things will change when only the two of them are left.

Anyway, I was very, truly, incredibly happy.

Sierra, who is at an age where she should be throwing tantrums, does not have to endure something she dislikes.

I get to see her dressed up like a princess.

I wonder what it will feel like to enter while holding my sister’s hand.

Will I feel proud, or will it feel empty?

…Oh, I think I might cry.

Am I overreacting?

It is not like I am giving her away in marriage; she is just becoming the queen of the social circle.

It is worth crying over.

I should make sure to bring a handkerchief.

I closed the necklace box.

Isaac placed another box on the table and personally opened the lid.

Inside were cufflinks.

“The Crown Prince sent these.”

“Wow. He has good taste.”

I admired them the moment I saw them.

The cufflinks, featuring a pink jewel at the center of a gold-crafted rose, were so lovely it seemed a waste to put them on sleeves.

They looked just like Sierra.

I want to show them to her, but that will only be possible on the day of the ball.

After naming the cufflinks “Ciel,” it was time for the formal attire.

I was a bit nervous because I had to check the ball gown, but perhaps out of consideration for my illness, I did not have to spend hours putting it on and taking it off.

I simply looked at the white formal suit embroidered with gold thread.

The viewing of the new items, which could hardly be called preparation, was over.

Noticing that I was sagging after just that much effort, Isaac cleared the items and brought me a cup of tea.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sipping medicinal tea that was mediocre in both scent and taste.

And then, evening came.

An unexpected guest arrived just as my meal was being served.

“What brings you here?”

Kallios naturally sat in the chair opposite me.

Since he arrived at mealtime, I intended to offer him a seat, but he sat down before I even asked.

He did not even answer my question, this fellow.

He must have become quite comfortable with his older brother.

I toyed with the utensils in front of me and waited for him to speak.

But he just stared at my face.

I do not know if he was organizing his thoughts, hesitating because it was difficult to say, or if he just found my face interesting to look at.

He is an expressionless person by nature.

The meal was finally served, ending with a risotto where the ingredients were finely chopped for easy digestion.

Two servings, one for him and one for me.

I inwardly praised the kitchen staff for handling Kallios’s sudden visit so skillfully and picked up my spoon.

“It would be best if you did not go to the ball.”

“Pardon?”

I only tilted my head at the words I never expected to hear from him.

“This is not a power that can be suppressed by ‘The Breath of Capre’ alone.”

I blinked slowly, looking at the spoon buried in the risotto.

I know that much.

If my Dragon Blood could have been managed with a single necklace, there would have been no need to adopt him and make him the Crown Prince.

I lifted a spoonful of risotto, put it back, gathered it into a small mound, and nodded.

“I know.”

There was a hypothesis that kept surfacing in my mind, even though I tried not to think about it.

Is it possible that the original Kaian failed to see next spring because of this ball?

The Breath of Capre will likely only act like an oxygen mask.

I knew it the moment I put it around my neck.

All it does is keep me from stopping my breath outside the spire.

I will suffer from the boiling Dragon Blood the moment I step out of the tower… and every step will shave away my remaining lifespan.

If that is the case.

If I say I will not go.

Would I be able to see Kallios off as he enters the academy and celebrate Sierra’s tenth birthday while watching the garden in full bloom with roses in June?

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

He answered politely to my call.

I reached my hand out toward him.

If it had been Isaac or Sierra, they would have rushed over and leaned their heads in, but Kallios just sat there blankly.

I suppose it is natural since I have never stroked his head before.

I withdrew my hand that failed to reach him.

For two days, I thought about it while eating, dozing off, looking out the window, and receiving reports from Isaac.

Then I realized.

I did not want to die.

Even though I have experienced it once, even though I know I will die early, I hated the idea.

Even if I can do nothing but stay trapped in this spire and watch the sky, I wanted to live.

Because I know.

How terrifying that eternal moment is when you cannot swallow the breath you exhaled and get submerged in darkness.

How chilling it is to feel your senses vanish and your consciousness shatter into pieces.

“I have… never left this place.”

I set down the spoon and rested my chin on my hand.

I hoped the smile I wore now looked senseless and immature.

“Did you know? The music from the ballroom can be heard all the way here. Although I have to hold my breath and focus just to barely tell what song it is.”

“…”

“I have always been curious. About what exactly goes on there.”

That was a lie.

I have never participated in a ball or a banquet, but thanks to reading hundreds of fantasy novels, I know how tiring and boring those events are.

Protagonists usually curse the noblemen steeped in empty formalities and slip away to the terrace or the garden.

“Besides. I received cufflinks as a gift that are too precious to leave in a box.”

“Brother.”

“They will go well with my new formal suit.”

I lost my appetite and picked up the water glass instead of the spoon.

Kallios ate his meal slowly with his usual expressionless face.

I watched him while moistening my mouth with lukewarm water.

Kallios, who finished his meal silently with perfect etiquette without a single sound of a plate scraping, turned away without a greeting.

I watched his back and then leaned forward, resting my cheek on the table.

Click. I heard the sound of the doorknob turning.

I closed my eyes.

I am so sleepy. I want to sleep just like this.

Of course, I could not sleep while leaning over the table.

Isaac’s nagging, thin porridge, and today’s medicine were waiting for me.

The life of a terminally ill first prince is quite exhausting.

Maybe a healthy serf would have been better after all.

That is a thought I can only have because I am not a serf.

My mother’s face is blurry, but I clearly remember the warmth of her hand as she stroked my cheek and said, “My son.”

I remember the slow steps that used to frustrate me whenever we walked together.

I used to walk ahead briskly at my own pace and then turn back to check where my mother was.

Sometimes I urged her to hurry up, and sometimes I went back to walk beside her.

Whenever we walked together, she would link her arm with mine and call me “Son.”

I should have answered more kindly, but I always grumbled, “What?”

Even so, she would smile brightly. Because she was happy.

I do not want to die.

But I do not want to just be alive either.

I wanted to leave a memory that I did something for those children.

I wanted to take that with me.

Even if I die and this life disappears, memories remain.

And if this is the end for me, it will remain with them.

I know it is a selfish thought.

But what of it?

I have spent more than half of the nearly ten years since my possession lying in a sickbed.

I can afford to be this greedy.