The Last Choice

Brother, he said…

Did I open my eyes to that calling voice?

I do not know.

I think I saw Kallios’s face, but… aside from his height increasing or his hair growing longer or shorter, Kallios always wore the same expression.

I am confused whether I imagined seeing him or if it was real.

Part of me wished it were real because I missed him, but another part hoped it was an imagination because it felt cruel for him to be expressionless while his brother hovered between life and death.

My thoughts scattered in every direction, likely due to the fever.

It is like how you want to de when the pain is severe, but once it fades, you feel that life is better even if you have to roll in a field of dog sht.

Still.

“Do you wish to be at peace?”

I answered the question he asked while holding my hand properly.

No.

I do not want to d*e yet, Kallios.

If I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them, a week had passed.

If I fell asleep for a bit and woke up, ten days had gone by.

I could not feel the passage of time.

It makes sense, as time moved on its own accord while I simply lost consciousness for a while.

What an impatient thing time is.

“This time, this time… how much has passed?”

“Ten days… You have woken up after ten days.”

I am the one about to d*e, but Isaac looked as pained as if he were the one dying.

I wanted to stroke his hair, but my arm felt too heavy to lift.

The quick-witted Isaac lifted my hand and placed it on top of his head.

His consistently soft hair brushed against my palm.

“The kids.”

“The Crown Prince visited three days ago, and the Princess visited yesterday.”

I missed them again.

My regret soon turned into sorrow.

No tears fell, but I felt like crying.

Does the heart grow weaker as the body does?

Perhaps the fact that today might be the last time I open my eyes was making me anxious.

My strengthless hand slid down.

Isaac wrapped both of his hands around mine.

Instead of crying, I let out a laugh.

Well, I would rather not have the last memory they have of my face be one soaked in tears, so perhaps it is for the best.

…I doubt Kallios would cry, anyway.

That is just the kind of guy he is.

“Isaac.”

“Please do not speak. The Imperial Physician will arrive shortly.”

My breath was shallow, as if I were submerged in water up to my chin.

It was bothersome and difficult to speak, but not to the point where I had to stay silent.

I was more than used to this.

I am someone who has spent nearly ten years with a seething fever.

Moreover, I had a strong feeling that today might be the last, so I could not stop despite Isaac’s protests.

I do not know how much time has passed since the ball, but today is the first time I have been awake long enough to have such a long conversation.

Is this what they call the lucid interval?

Perhaps I was experiencing that phenomenon where one briefly regains strength before death.

“Could you… write down my words?”

Isaac’s face, which he had been trying to keep composed, crumpled.

His handsome face looked so distorted it was funny, and I wanted to double over laughing, but I lacked the strength.

I simply took in Isaac’s face.

Neat, fine black hair.

Grey eyes.

A furrowed bridge of his nose and lips pressed tight like a stubborn child.

If I told him he looked younger than when I first met him, would he laugh or get angry?

The words about protecting me with his life were far too heavy for a thirteen-year-old boy, but they were firm and full of resolve.

He was the first knight I saw when I came to this world, and he was truly knightly.

But now… he looks like a child who knows he is about to be abandoned.

I fidgeted with my hand held by Isaac.

Isaac lowered his head and rubbed his forehead against the back of my hand.

“Your Highness…”

“Please.”

I had intended to write it myself after returning from the ball, but I did not expect things to turn out like this.

Even though I reminded myself every day that I was a dying man, I had made no preparations for death.

But, during all that time, I did not really want to write it.

It felt as if the final period of my will would also mark the end of my lingering attachment to life.

I wanted to live a little longer.

A day would have been fine, an hour would have been fine.

Even if someone scolded me for having so many regrets about a death that was determined from the start, I could not help it.

I wanted to live a little longer with my children.

No, actually, I want to live.

Even now.

Isaac brought a pen and paper.

I stared at the blank sheet and closed my eyes.

What would be a good first sentence?

I did not deliberate for long.

“I, Kaian Capre Arneb-s.”

I waited for the scratching sound of the nib to stop before continuing.

“Love you both very… should I take out very, Isaac?”

“…”

“Let’s take it out. It looks a bit childish. Just… simply, I love you.”

After the first sentence, I had no more hesitations.

The Imperial family would take care of my meager assets, and come to think of it, all three of them had more than I did.

It felt a bit off to write a request to grant Isaac a title of Count in a will he was transcribing himself.

If it is Kallios, who reads my mind so well despite hiding his own, he will surely handle it without me saying anything.

I opened my eyes for a moment.

Isaac was catching his tears with his hand so they wouldn’t wet the paper while he wrote my words.

I closed my eyes again.

I decided not to apologize.

Except for pausing when I was short of breath or my mouth felt dry, I spoke without stopping.

If I had written it myself, I would have hesitated and edited it many times, but since I could not see the spoken sentences, it was easy.

The writing, which was closer to a final letter than a will, ended after filling two white pages.

I used to wonder who Sierra took after with her talkativeness, but it was me.

Do not be sad, stay well, be happy.

I only put those words in the letter.

I bit down on and swallowed the sorrow and despair that kept surging up.

Because just as you are to me, I hope I remain only a good and beautiful memory for you.

A sleep far too heavy to resist returned once more.

Isaac, I am going to rest.

Did I say that?

Or did I fall asleep before I could say it?

I do not know.

Kaian Capre Arneb-s.

Yes.

Do you want to live?

A grim reaper resembling Kallios asked.

I wanted to scream that I wanted to live, but I lacked the strength, so I closed the eyes I had been forcing open.

If he resembled me not just in appearance but also in spirit, he would have known.

How much I want to live.

How much I want to stay by your side.

When I opened my eyes again, it was night.

I do not know… how many days had passed.

Isaac was sitting by the door.

He must have fallen asleep.

I decided not to wake him, as he must be exhausted from the long nursing.

I glanced around the dark room and was startled.

There was a person by the window where I always watched the sky.

I could not see the face because the moonlight was at their back, but I knew immediately.

“Kallios.”

“Yes.”

So I do get to see you before I d*e.

I wanted to smile out of happiness, but a dry cough came out.

I checked Isaac’s reaction.

He did not budge, perhaps deep in sleep.

Thank goodness.

The fellow slowly approached.

I stared at him without even blinking.

At that moment, a powerful gust of wind rushed in through the open window.

“Kallios.”

My chest suddenly felt cold.

The wind that brushed past him and reached me smelled of fishy iron.

“Stay still.”

I focused on his movements while holding my breath.

I heard small footsteps.

The sound of something sticking and then peeling off the floor, as if something sticky were on it…

“Brother.”

Kallios stood by my bedside.

His dried-rose eyes glowed eerily in the darkness.

It was said that the eyes of the Arneb-s Imperial family glow when they use Dragon Blood.

I heard that Kallios’s blessing manifested in the form of an aura.

What, no way.

Did he come to kill me?

Nah.

That probably wasn’t it.

Although Kallios in the story was a villain beyond pity, he was not the type to enjoy murder.

He was more the type who didn’t place much value on human beings themselves.

Someone who uses them if needed and eliminates them if not.

Because the story was narrated from Lamier Weaver’s first-person perspective, Kallios’s inner thoughts were never properly revealed, but that was how I read him.

I cannot be certain since I only read up to episode 150 where the conflict intensified…

No, I can be certain.

I have nearly ten years of experience, which is more reliable than the unread backstories.

That fellow Kallios is such a stark pragmatist that he never even offered a greeting when entering or leaving the room.

I do not know how he acts with others, but that was how he was with me.

He always came only to do what he had to do and then left.

He has no reason to stab the stomach of someone who would d*e even if left alone.

I looked into his eyes, which flickered like gems catching light, and just smiled.

It bothers me slightly that he came specifically at night while reeking of blood…

But Kallios will handle that on his own, so let me just be glad to see him.

“I thought I would leave without seeing you.”

“…”

“But, Kallios. Are you hurt by any chance?”

“…”

“Why did you come here… without getting treated? I am glad to see you, though.”

“Brother.”

“Go.”

A cough broke out because I had scraped my parched throat with words.

My weak body jolted as I coughed.

My eyes grew wet, blurring my vision.

“Will you come closer?”

I managed to whisper after the coughing subsided.

Kallios asked while standing still.

“Do you wish to be at peace?”

If it had been Isaac, he would have wiped my eyes.

Kallios was clueless in that regard.

I took him into my blurred vision.

This is the second time I have received this question.

I did not realize it last time because I was lost in fever, but wait, you.

Were you planning to send me to the afterlife if I said I wanted to be at peace…

I knew Kallios was a strange guy, but that is a truly bizarre form of consideration.

Even I, who almost received it, did not notice.

It would have been a disaster if I had said yes back then because of the pain.

“Brother.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them.

Many words came to mind.

You know, Kallios.

Dying is never peaceful.

Dying is truly… truly, horrific.

Instead of speaking, I took him into my slightly clearer vision.

The light slowly faded from his eyes.

Kallios.

I do not want to d*e.

Because once you d*e, it is over.

I am human, so it is natural that I cannot do my best in every moment.

I regret every single moment I passed by without much thought, and I feel sorry and sad, but once the period is placed, I can no longer fix it.

All the time I lived will be preserved as the past, and I won’t be able to do anything except think, and even the remaining memories will wear down and fade with time…

I will want to see you but won’t be able to anymore.

“Brother.”

He called me.

I wanted to cry so much, but I lacked the energy to even cry.

I wanted to say something about his expression—the first non-expressionless one I had ever seen—but I lacked the energy for that too.

His brow was furrowed.

Did he not like my answer?

Did he find it pathetic that his brother wanted to live even in this state?

It did not matter.

Because his face with an expression looked human.

“Very well.”

He raised his clenched fist above my head.

I wanted to see his face a little more, but my vision was blocked by his arm and sleeve.

I slowly closed the eyes I had been keeping wide open out of the desire to cherish every second, and when I opened them.

Kallios opened his clenched fist.

Red… something like gem fragments showered over my head.

I do not know what he is suddenly doing.

A fragment fell and stuck above my eyelashes.

Even if death is imminent, I dislike having gem fragments in my eyes, so I closed them again.

The sudden shower of gems ended quickly.

“Since you wish for it so much, stay a little longer.”

The fragments that fell on my face smelled of the blood that had been coming from him.

I wanted to ask what he meant, but the chance was not given.

Darkness snatched and swallowed me.

The thought I had as I drifted into a violently surging sleep was, hilariously, relief.

Could I, perhaps… live a little longer?

Whatever his words meant.

Whatever that mysterious action meant.

When I woke from the long sleep Kallios had given me, many things had changed.

To the extent that the fact that I, who should have died long ago, was still alive did not even count as a change.

Immensely.