The Gift of Guilt

“Hello. It’s Hyunwoo. Is Taegun inside?”

-The Young Master is a bit busy right now. Please come back another time.

It was another rejection at the door today.

As Hyunwoo pulled his gaze away from the deactivated intercom, he spotted faded white scribbles etched beneath a marble pillar.

To anyone else, the marks were too faint to recognize after all this time, but they were vivid to Hyunwoo.

A star, a rabbit, a spaceship.

They were the marks he had carved with rolling pebbles while waiting for the door to open to see Taegun when they were children.

Pushing the lingering nostalgia aside, he headed home.

At least he could confirm Taegun was actually in the house; that was a relief in itself.

Since this interference had happened right in the middle of preparing for university, Hyunwoo spent every day anxious that Taegun might suddenly decide to study abroad in another country.

It wasn’t that Hyunwoo had a specific romanticized vision of university life.

Taegun loathed crowded places, so it was certain they wouldn’t attend drinking parties, academic societies, or club activities.

His plan was simply to stick together as a pair just as they always had, earn enough credits to graduate, and be done with it.

However, he didn’t exactly have the heart of a monk heading to a temple for asceticism, so there had been small squabbles between the two throughout the application process.

With Hyunwoo’s grades, which were always at the top of the rank, choosing such a place was an absurd decision.

The school had expressed concern several times, but eventually, he gave in to Taegun’s stubbornness.

Half a month ago, they had both received admission to a university with an unfamiliar name, tucked away in a remote mountain region.

Somehow, Taegun had managed to persuade Hyunwoo’s parents in the meantime, and even his mother, who had been strongly opposed, changed her stance.

Though he didn’t know the details, it was certain that promises regarding his career path after graduation had been exchanged.

His mother’s firm attitude regarding the prestige of his university had always been for the sake of his future.

Hyunwoo could already vividly see his future working for one of the Taeryung Group’s subsidiaries.

Just as everything was being finalized according to Taegun’s wishes, his family suddenly intervened.

It felt as if they were intentionally tormenting Taegun to get something they wanted.

Whenever there was friction with the family, Taegun would thoroughly cut Hyunwoo off and keep him at a distance, so Hyunwoo couldn’t know the exact details this time either.

However, it was highly likely to be an issue regarding the succession of management rights.

The hereditary succession of family businesses in Alpha households was common knowledge, but Taegun despised it.

Even during their student years, there had been occasional friction over this issue; each time, Taegun would go into seclusion and cut off all contact, leaving Hyunwoo to pace around in anxiety.

It seemed the family had been lenient with Taegun’s stubbornness until now, but not this time.

Now that he was an adult, the family seemed determined not to yield, and the tense confrontation had been ongoing for days.

During that time, Hyunwoo faced his third heat cycle.

Perhaps because it wasn’t a “proper” manifestation, the cycle was irregular.

The pre-symptoms he experienced before the heat were also unnaturally long.

He had to face the heat with the feeling of holding a time bomb that could explode at any moment, but thanks to that, he had enough time to search for an Alpha, which was a small benefit.

Fever began to rise in his body like a cold.

A groan leaked from his lips.

His head was dizzy, and he shivered from the chills.

Cold sweat beaded on Hyunwoo’s forehead as he turned on his laptop.

After setting a time and place to meet an Alpha who was active in the community, he left the house.

As the acts repeated, he felt he understood why Betas longed for physical relations between Alphas and Omegas so much.

Every time the Alpha’s center pierced through him, the nerve bundles throughout his body screamed with joy.

Beyond the sensation of the penis poking his rear, the dizzying stimulation of the surrounding air seeping into the pores of his skin was also ecstatic.

Hyunwoo instinctively realized that this was the Alpha’s pheromones.

The strange thing, however, was that no matter how hard he tried to smell it, it never felt like a fragrance.

Even when he buried his nose in the Alpha’s neck, just as Taegun habitually did to him, there was no stimulus he could perceive as a “scent.”

Only the smell of cheap body wash provided by the motel bothered his sense of smell.

‘Is it because I’m not a proper Omega?’

It was clear there was a problem with his manifestation, but he thought it was actually for the best.

Since he couldn’t smell pheromones, it meant an imprint with an Alpha was also impossible.

An Alpha and Omega who have imprinted can only satisfy their sexual desires through each other.

That must never happen.

s*x with an Alpha was nothing more and nothing less than a means to hide his trait.

That was the reason Hyunwoo did not maintain a continuous relationship with one person.

If he got involved with the same person again, a “relationship” would form whether he liked it or not, so he pursued only one-night stands—people who couldn’t even be called s*x partners.

Someone he would never have to meet again.

Because of that, he could be more faithful to his own desires.

Hyunwoo, trembling at the Alpha’s touch, ejaculated once more.

The guilt and self-loathing he felt during his first experience gradually dulled as the sexual acts repeated.

The resistance to thinking of Taegun during s*x also vanished.

‘What’s so bad about just imagining?’

‘It’s only bad if you turn the imagination into action; a private delusion isn’t a sin.’

Once he thought that way, there was nothing left to hold him back.

The campus was bustling with people.

Between groups of people holding bright bouquets and taking selfies, some could be seen hugging each other and shedding tears.

Hyunwoo, who was busily looking around as if searching for someone, also held a diploma and a bouquet decorated with yellow roses in his arms.

“Hyunwoo! Look over here!”

At his mother’s request, Hyunwoo’s gaze returned to the camera.

“Alright, cheese~.”

Hyunwoo’s heart was not at ease as he forced his lips into a smile.

“Han Hyunwoo, congratulations on graduating.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“Take care.”

He didn’t have any particularly close friends, so he was exchanging formal greetings with a few classmates.

One person in the group spoke to Hyunwoo in a timid voice.

“I didn’t see your name on the list of successful candidates on the banner. I was curious which school you were going to. You were a good student.”

“I just applied to a small regional university.”

“Why?”

“…….”

Why?

Because Taegun said so.

A future with Taegun was so obvious that it was a question he never even felt the need to consider.

“Won’t you regret it later?”

While picking a suitable response, he gradually felt annoyed by the situation itself.

He didn’t want to offer excuses or seek understanding from a stranger who knew nothing.

If Taegun had been by his side, they wouldn’t have even dared to approach and talk to him like this.

Noticing that Hyunwoo was in a bad mood, another guy quickly cut into the conversation.

“Who are you worried about? You’re the one going for a second year of exam prep.”

“No, I mean, that makes it even harder to understand. It’s a waste of his grades.”

“Just worry about yourself, man. Hyunwoo, we’re heading out! Bye!”

He watched the backs of the boys who hurried away and then turned around.

His already bitter mood sank even further.

In the end, Taegun was nowhere to be seen throughout the graduation ceremony.

After finishing lunch at a restaurant his mother had reserved, he split up with her as she had a prior engagement and headed home alone.

As he walked along the long wall of the estate, a black cat appeared at the corner.

It was a fellow that often showed up in front of the house.

Far from being wary of the approaching Hyunwoo, it rubbed its body against his legs, swaying the tip of its upright tail back and forth.

Feeling depressed, Hyunwoo crouched by the wall and stroked the affectionate cat for a long time.

He felt a small sense of comfort.

How long had he been there?

“Achoo!”

Hyunwoo let out a sneeze and sniffled.

His hands, which he had kept out to pet the cat, were frozen solid from the cold.

“I should go now. It’s cold, so you go inside too.”

He stood up and headed home again.

He wanted to get into a bathtub filled with hot water and quickly melt his frozen body.

“H-Achoo!”

Covering his mouth with his hand, Hyunwoo sneezed again, and only then did he realize his hands were empty.

He had been so preoccupied with petting the cat that he had left the bouquet and diploma by the wall.

He turned back and practically ran toward the corner of the wall, nearly colliding with someone coming from the other direction.

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

Raising his head while offering an apology, Hyunwoo gasped.

Standing before him was Taegun, holding Hyunwoo’s bouquet and diploma.

“…Hey! You!”

“Han Hyunwoo, you haven’t fixed your habits.”

“…….”

“Leaving things behind like a messy child.”

Taegun’s smiling face was full of mischief.

Hyunwoo felt a surge of anger toward Taegun, who had appeared after a long time just to tease him after making him worry.

“Seriously, what! What happened?!”

Shouting out, Hyunwoo punched Taegun in the solar plexus with his fist.

“Ugh.”

Hyunwoo glared at Taegun, who was exaggerating his pain, and then spoke in a worried voice.

“…Is everything resolved?”

“Yeah.”

“The school, too?”

“Yeah. I got permission for the school and the house.”

“Phew, that’s a relief.”

Taegun held out the bouquet and diploma to the relieved Hyunwoo.

“Take it. Congratulations on graduating.”

‘Hmph. Did I graduate alone?’

Muttering to himself, Hyunwoo reached out toward Taegun, but instead of the bouquet or diploma, a transparent box was placed on his hands.

Inside, red strawberries decorated the top of a pure white cake.

Hyunwoo, receiving it reflexively, looked at Taegun with a confused expression.

“What is this?”

“We promised to celebrate together when you manifested.”

Hyunwoo looked down blankly at the cake.

He had said such a thing in passing when they were in elementary school.

That when he manifested as an Alpha later, they should have a celebration party together.

That they should have a very, very grand party to make up for Taegun’s share, too.

He didn’t know Taegun would remember that until now.

“Congratulations on your manifestation.”

At the sound of Taegun’s voice saying that, Hyunwoo felt as if he were suffocating.

Hyunwoo’s dark eyes, staring at the cake, were deeply stained with guilt and self-loathing.