Where Fear Leaks Through

“You’re not exactly airtight with your acting either.”

“Calling someone who’s always sincere an actor.”

“As if.”

He said it in an exaggerated tone.

I leaned closer to his frozen smile and whispered, snake-like.

“You’ve got so many things you’re afraid of, yet you pretend you don’t. Don’t you feel like crying right now?

You’ve always cried easily, ever since you were a kid.”

At my low whisper, a crack ran through his expression. I could see the fracture form across the smoothly smiling face.

The memory fragment I’d seen was definitely his past.

Just as Jeong Iheon had done to me until now, I leaned closer to his face and curved my eyes into a smile.

Even with our noses nearly touching, he didn’t think to pull away.

I smiled deeply at the face right in front of me, then leaned back to get a better look at his stiffened expression.

“Go Doya.”

He finally called my name in a low voice.

I didn’t like him using my surname, but the face stripped of its smile suited him quite well.

Didn’t this look far more sincere?

Ignoring the oppressive tone in his voice, I added,

“Jeong Iheon, you’re scared of surviving alone.”

Jeong Iheon’s sub-scenario keyword was ‘loneliness’. Then surely loneliness must have played a major role in his life.

His expression vanished completely.

Only those vivid blue eyes stared at me as if they could pierce straight through.

It wasn’t a weakness, but I had uncovered a side of him he wanted to hide.

What I couldn’t understand was why.

In a world like this, being afraid of surviving alone was normal.

I was the odd one out. It wasn’t something Jeong Iheon needed to hide.

I stopped provoking him with my snake-like whisper and lowered my gaze slightly.

I’d sensed his heart starting to beat faster, as if my words had angered him.

When my eyes dropped a little further, I saw his fist trembling faintly.

Looking at that shaking hand, I let out a low murmur of realization.

‘Not anger. Fear.’

From a thoughtless remark meant only to provoke him, he’d felt fear.

It was only natural that curiosity bloomed about what kind of fear ran that deep.

It was the same logic as him asking why I wasn’t afraid.

I tilted my head, about to check his expression, when something like raindrops suddenly pattered onto my knees.

It couldn’t be rain. I hadn’t heard any rainfall.

Jeong Iheon was crying.

I froze as I stared at the tears falling onto my thigh.

No. I hadn’t meant to make him cry.

‘I didn’t think he’d cry this easily!’

Unable to lift my head, I heard Jeong Iheon speak in a sunken voice.

“How… how can you say something like that.”

“…Huh?”

“Go Doya. How can you say that to me….”

W-what did I even say?

With an uneasy feeling, I raised my head.

Sure enough, tears streamed freely down Jeong Iheon’s face as he glared at me.

The sight of him crying soundlessly overlapped with the image of the boy Jeong Iheon I’d seen in my dream.

Was that moment the first day his world collapsed?

The day the world fell apart, and only a few lucky—

No. Unlucky people survived.

I carefully lifted my hand to the cheek of the man crying without making a sound.

It didn’t sit right with me, knowing I was probably the one who’d made him cry.

I’d only wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face.

‘And what does he mean, how can I say that? We’ve known each other for barely a week.’

“You shouldn’t say things like that to me….”

Me?

I shouldn’t say that to Jeong Iheon?

Utterly baffled, I wanted to ask him why I couldn’t.

But I didn’t have the courage to ask a man glaring at me through tears.

I felt like he might slap me.

So instead, I awkwardly wiped his cheek with my sleeve and spoke hesitantly.

“J-just… stop crying first, and tell me….”

For a moment, Jeong Iheon seemed to listen quietly.

Then, without stopping his tears, his eyes flashed sharply.

Grabbing my hand as it wiped his face, he said,

“You can’t do that to me.”

…Why not?

I couldn’t understand the reason at all, but I was overwhelmed by his force.

“O-okay. I’m sorry.”

I apologized without even knowing why.

He roughly let go of my hand and wiped his eyes harshly with his arm.

Then he turned his body, perched himself beside me on the hood, and let out a long sigh.

A breath heavy with anguish lingered.

Once he seemed to calm down a little, I spoke in a tone far more careful than ever before.

“…But why is it that when I say something like that—”

“Answer my question.”

Jeong Iheon cut me off coldly before I could finish.

The face devoid of laughter was so chilling that I almost preferred his smug, irritating smile.

It was nothing like Hyeon Jaeyul’s blank expression.

If a passerby crossed him for no reason, he looked like the kind of man who’d slap them without hesitation.

And the person slapped would probably end up apologizing just from seeing his face.

That was exactly how I felt now.

It felt like I was in the wrong. Like I needed to apologize.

“W-what question did you ask again?”

“Why you’re not afraid.”

When I asked haltingly, he repeated the question in a flat voice.

Leaning against the car beside me, he stared into empty space.

I took a moment to think about his question.

‘Am I not afraid of anything?’

No.

I was scared of bugs like anyone else. I was scared of getting hurt.

It might be a feeling a little distant from fear, but it was still fear.

It wasn’t like I was afraid of nothing.

But if I said that, he’d probably glare at me again.

I was choosing my words when—

“I wish you were afraid.”

Even as I tried to read his mood, I frowned.

I’d heard something similar just days ago, from Won-gyeong.

Why did these men keep saying they wished I weren’t okay, that I’d be afraid?

And why did they say it while creating these incomprehensible moods?

Realizing that no answer I gave would satisfy Jeong Iheon, I sighed and spoke.

“Of course I have things I’m scared of.
I’m scared of a lot.”

His gaze shifted from the void to me.

“I hate bugs. I hate pain. I hate my secrets being found out. I’m scared of all that.”

When I gave him the most honest answer I could, the tension drained from Jeong Iheon’s face.

His lips curved upward.

It was a smile close to emptiness, but it looked far better than before.

Thinking the mood had eased a little, I was about to say more when Jeong Iheon spoke first.

“You’re scared of things like that, but….”

But what?

The sentence trailed off, unfinished.

When I glanced at his face, he had his eyes closed, as if deep in thought.
It felt like a sign not to interrupt.

He kept his eyes closed for a long time.

Unable to jump down from the hood, I shivered in the night wind the entire while.

Jeong Iheon was a truly strange, damned man.

The events of that night felt like a dream.

I even wondered if I’d been dreaming then too.

Because Jeong Iheon was smiling beside me now, handing me preserved food.

“Eat up, Doya.”

“I said I’m full….”

The looks directed at Jeong Iheon, who was smiling more brightly than usual while sitting close to me, were full of confusion.

Won-gyeong’s eyes had already drifted into open jealousy.

If I hadn’t been openly rejecting Jeong Iheon’s closeness, Won-gyeong would probably have sealed me up like a product and hidden me away from everyone else.

[Sub Scenario ‘Jeong Iheon 1 – Loneliness’]

[Scenario complete. When your relationship progress with the target ‘Jeong Iheon’ exceeds 50, the next scenario will unlock.]

…What did I even do?

The scenario cleared itself however it wanted. That night felt like a dream.

Won-gyeong was burning with jealousy.

And Jeong Iheon was forcibly stuffing tasteless preserved food into my mouth.

Hyeon Jaeyul, who’d been watching me the whole time in case I left food behind again, finally relaxed and looked away once Jeong Iheon made sure I swallowed the last bite.

‘Don’t relax. Stop him!’

Ju Noeul, as always, was pointedly ignoring me.

Honestly, that was what I’d thought from the beginning.

Ju Noeul’s complete disregard for me was the most comfortable.

I really wished the other men would behave more like Ju Noeul.

Ever since that dreamlike night, Jeong Iheon had been far too familiar with me.

He brought food to my lips. Tried to feed me.

And whenever I tried to stand, he was always the first to rush over.

Even faster than Won-gyeong, who constantly watched over me.

Won-gyeong moved when I tried to act.

Jeong Iheon moved the moment I thought about acting.

No matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t believe his ability didn’t involve reading other people’s thoughts.

[What exactly is Jeong Iheon’s ability? It’s not mind reading, right?]

I grabbed Hyeon Jaeyul and Won-gyeong to ask, but all they said was that if Jeong Iheon hadn’t explained it himself, they couldn’t say either.

They didn’t look particularly loyal to each other, yet suddenly they were overflowing with it.

Jeong Iheon’s attitude was impossible to understand.

Whenever I tried to ask about what happened that night, he’d just stare at me with those vivid blue eyes.

As if, when he looked at me like that, my memories might simply disappear.