The Concert Day

Finally, the day of the much-anticipated concert arrived.

“If this were an outdoor concert, it would have been absolutely brutal,”

Pulling back the curtains, I was met with blazing sunlight, even though it was still the early hours, almost dawn. The warmth on my cheek was instantaneous, quickly growing quite hot.

While this was to be expected in summer, I could only hope no one waiting outside would succumb to heatstroke.

My condition, which I had worried about, wasn’t bad at all.

[Your expression looks really good today?]

Kwon Yohan had remarked as much the moment I stepped into the bathroom.

“……Really?”

[You must be incredibly excited.]

The playful jab earned a roguish grin from him, but it was fleeting.

“I am excited, of course.”

He couldn’t quite conceal his surprise at my candid admission.

In truth, I even wondered if my ‘good condition’ was merely a feeling. Perhaps I was too exhilarated to make an objective assessment.

An intense fervor, akin to the day HEX first debuted on a music show, was already coursing through my veins, consuming me.

“Should I call your family, even now?”

[I told you it’s fine. They aren’t the type of people to show up at such an unrefined event.]

My repeated offers weren’t born from the naive hope that experiencing a good performance might change his mind. Instead, it was a calculated effort, believing that seeing him excel might ease his worries.

After all, Kwon Yohan’s mother had been sending messages filled with disquietude as recently as yesterday.

I gazed for a moment at Kwon Yohan’s face, which had instantly sharpened. How on earth had this kid managed to get by? He had built walls between himself and both his family and the other members, and he didn’t seem to have any friends he kept in touch with.

‘Was that why he seemed to have no lingering attachments?’

“……I’ll be back.”

Kwon Yohan, who had already turned his back to me, waved a perfunctory hand, as if urging me to leave the room quickly.

****

“Unbelievable!”

Choi Seung-beom and Lee Seon returned to the waiting room, having just peeked outside.

“There are so many people. So many.”

Lee Seon’s steps were so light they almost seemed to defy gravity. Choi Seung-beom, trailing behind him, wore a slightly exasperated expression.

He wasn’t one to easily get nervous, so the overwhelming crowd wouldn’t be daunting to him. It seemed he was simply exhausted from trying to rein in Lee Seon, who had been darting around everywhere.

“Hey, the fans said they saw you?”

Han Doyoung, who had been idly tapping the floor with his foot and fiddling with his phone, finally spoke.

“Ha… he actually went and spoiled the outfits…”

Choi Seung-beom pressed a hand to his forehead, letting out a deep sigh.

“What does it matter? They seem to like it.”

Han Doyoung wrinkled his nose, speaking with a shrug. The managers, too, rubbed their temples, but on such an auspicious day, they seemed disinclined to nag over such a minor issue.

Thump. Thump. As the starting time drew nearer, my heart’s rhythm accelerated. I pressed a palm to my chest, my gaze fixed on my reflection in the mirror.

My face, elaborately adorned with stage makeup, stared back at me.

Our preparations were impeccable.

I possessed the unwavering confidence to deliver an outstanding performance, to captivate and satisfy the audience. As long as I was with these members, my resolve would never falter. There would be no room for regret regarding the cost or the time invested here.

“Shall we do a cheer before we go on?”

A staff member, capturing behind-the-scenes moments in the waiting room, offered with a smile.

“Since it’s our first concert, how about Maknae leads it specially?”

Yoon Jihyuk’s voice, as he suggested this, was pitched slightly higher than usual.

Perhaps feeling self-conscious with unfamiliar faces mixed into the waiting room, Lee Seon, after a moment of darting his eyes around, declared with a determined shout.

“HEX, let’s go!”

A wave of laughter rippled through the room at his simple rallying cry. We lifted our clasped hands into the air.

****

The black uniforms, lavishly adorned with silver embellishments, were met with an overwhelmingly positive response.

“Kyaaaahhh!”

We were greeted by a torrent of cheers the moment we appeared. Of course, any outfit would likely elicit a reaction when beloved idols appear, but there was a certain intuition at play.

The aesthetic was slightly different from HEX’s usual flamboyant style, which must have felt fresh to the audience. While the custom-made outfits were incredibly elaborate and expensive, I mused that if we had known the reaction would be this enthusiastic, we should have worn them more often.

These thoughts were fleeting. After moving past the dynamic, intense title track and Yoon Jihyuk’s solo, and transitioning into a more languid, atmospheric song, I witnessed a peculiar scene.

“Aaah…”

At the suddenly more revealing outfits, fans clapped hands over their mouths. If the initial response had been cheers, this time it was outright screams. They truly seemed overwhelmed with delight.

‘These people… they were more serious about the sexy concept than I had imagined.’

Continuing the mood, Lee Seon presented a playful and cheerful song. Easy-listening singing rap flowed, with lyrics that evoked the image of a mischievous younger man. The tone wasn’t as high-pitched as he had worried, leaving him quite satisfied with his performance.

During the subsequent talk segment, we played a game after a brief greeting. Each of us received a question, chose between options A and B, and the other members had to guess our answer.

For instance,

” ‘If one of the Maknaes were to take on the role of Leader instead of Jihyuk, who would it be?’ ”

[A. Lee Seon B. Yohan]

” ‘……Does such a thing truly have to happen?’ ”

” ‘It must! Seung-beom, please choose your answer quickly!’ ”

Choi Seung-beom sighed deeply before selecting B. Everyone except Lee Seon guessed correctly.

” ‘Hyung… I’m disappointed…’ ”

The questionnaire, utterly devoid of any balance, was a complete mess. When asked, ‘If you had to give up one: red hair or the main dancer position?’ Han Doyoung momentarily forgot he was on stage and instinctively reached to pull at his hair.

The correct answer, naturally, was red hair. Lee Seon, once again, was incorrect.

Having failed repeatedly in interpreting the members’ characters, Lee Seon was crowned the loser. His penalty was to perform the next song while wearing an animal mask. Thus, the member, still clad in his splendid stage costume, donned a dog mask… and remarkably, performed the song flawlessly even in that state.

Though it was also a lighthearted, ‘breather’ track, the kind typically included once per album to break up the mood.

” ‘Hey, don’t take it off yet! Let’s take a picture. A picture!’ ”

Han Doyoung, who had clearly enjoyed himself more than the audience and had struggled to contain his laughter on stage, immediately gathered the members in the waiting room.

During the brief VCR interlude, we hastily snapped a few group photos and changed our outfits.

Even Lee Seon, who had initially grumbled, burst into laughter upon seeing the photos. He even earnestly implored the staff to upload them by the end of the concert.

The palpable urgency of the backstage environment, which I had observed from the very beginning, had long since banished any extraneous thoughts from my mind. It was overwhelming enough simply to perform the routines my body knew by heart, all while feeling incredibly light-headed.

‘I felt intensely alive.’

” ‘Hoo…’ ”

To the extent that I almost forgot how I had managed to breathe and exist until this very moment.

****

Ironically, it was when Kwon Yohan’s solo performance began that a space for thoughts to intrude finally opened up.

” ‘You’ve got this!’ ”

Lee Seon patted his back, while Han Doyoung raised a clenched fist in encouragement.

This was a song Kwon Yohan had reportedly participated in writing the lyrics for, despite his typically limited contributions to group activities. It was a semi-ballad, featuring a gentle melody and a narrow vocal range, allowing his unique vocal color to carry the song, even if his technical skills were less refined.

Listening to the intro, specifically arranged for the concert with a prolonged, rich piano part, he advanced onto the stage.

‘…’

The fanlights, scattered like a galaxy of stars, cast a dazzling brilliance.

It was a scene that perfectly, almost excessively, suited the title of his solo song: ‘Meteor Shower.’

” ‘In scattered memories, only one light is enough’

” ‘A fragment of time, though lost, will never be forgotten’

The lights shimmered, undulating like slow waves. Fans held their breath, their right hands raised high, swaying gently.

The narrator of the lyrics expressed a wish to be the shooting star among the countless ones falling tonight, the very one upon which the listener would make their wish. Though that particular star might never be seen again, they implored the listener to voice their most fervent desire, so it might forever linger in their memory.

The lyrics were deeply emotional and open to myriad interpretations. Heard within the concert hall, they naturally invited even greater imaginative reflection. Thanks to the dreamy atmosphere, even his flashy costume didn’t feel out of place.

‘……I hope they all come true.’

After the final, poignant verse, the accompaniment’s volume gradually diminished.

The audience remained hushed, as if lost in the lingering resonance. I sat blankly, lost in thought. What emotions had driven Kwon Yohan to write such lyrics, and why? Was the notion that it sounded like he had foreseen the future simply a baseless conjecture?

Then, the extended stage slowly began to rise.

” ‘…?’ ”

‘This wasn’t on the setlist?’

” ‘One, two.’ ”

It was Yoon Jihyuk’s voice, though he was not yet visible.

Soon, the familiar melody of ‘Happy Birthday’ began to play. Rising from the extended stage were the four HEX members, excluding Kwon Yohan, along with a magnificent cake.

” ‘Ah.’ ”

Only then did I recall Kwon Yohan’s profile, which I had read several months ago. August 26th, which meant his birthday was next week.

Even though I wasn’t typically one to pay close attention to such details, it had stuck in my mind because Kwon Yohan’s birthday and mine shared the same date, only different years.

Over ten thousand spectators were now singing ‘Happy Birthday’ for a single person.

” ‘……Wow.’ ”

My mind went blank, and I couldn’t react properly. I should say something.

” ‘Why are you reacting like that?’ ”

” ‘Your jaw’s going to drop off.’ ”

The members chimed in, teasing me. Thanks to them, I managed to stammer out a response, albeit belatedly.

” ‘Thank you. It feels like… a festival. I feel like I’ve received a lifetime’s worth of birthday wishes.’ ”

It wasn’t particularly amusing, just a silly remark, yet laughter rippled through the audience. Lee Seon pouted and interjected,

” ‘A lifetime’s worth? What’s a lifetime’s worth? We’ll keep doing this! Right?!’ ”

” ‘YES!!!!’ ”

The resounding reply resonated in my chest.

My throat felt sweet, as if I had swallowed honey.