The Villain’s Hangover and a Shocking Revelation

Su Mu awoke from his hangover.

Gazing at the chaotic room, a strange sense of peace inexplicably settled over him.

He stumbled and tripped through the ‘Bagua array’ of clutter, finally reaching the bathroom. There, he stared at the person in the mirror.

Indeed, the man who had been decadent for so long, the one it wouldn’t surprise him to see rot into mud one day, now possessed bright eyes. This sight always made him instinctively touch the rather long beard on his chin, finding it utterly mismatched with his current demeanor.

“It’s about time I shaved,” Su Mu murmured, squeezing out some foam and taking up his razor to clean himself up.

Shave, then shouldn’t he pick up a beautiful girl?

He thought, completely off-topic.

“As expected of me, with a little tidying up, don’t I look like a person again?”

He chuckled, teasing himself alone. Could such behavior be considered self-deprecating humor?

Brushing his teeth and washing his face took no more than three minutes.

This was his pace of life.

It wasn’t meticulous or refined, but there was little he could do. He wasn’t wearing a suit, after all, but rather oil-stained, blue-grey work clothes.

He didn’t have a stable job. There was no way around it; his competitive edge was simply too weak, even though he had repaired refrigerators, air conditioners, washing machines, radios, bicycles, and sewers throughout his life.

Yet superpowers were bizarre and varied. Su Mu recalled one superpowered individual who knew nothing about repairs, but whose ability allowed objects to revert to a previous state.

That person had been successfully hired.

It was just that…

Su Mu wasn’t surprised by the outcome, nor did he feel much resistance. It was perfectly normal; it had always been this way. But for a time-manipulating superpower to emerge just to compete for *this* kind of job?

Had the true nature of this world, the internal competition, reached such an extreme?

If he had such an ability, Su Mu pondered for a long time.

He merely shrugged.

Alright! He conceded that making broken things usable again for a while could indeed save a lot of unnecessary expenses, which meant more money for alcohol.

A new day had begun.

Ah, truly…

It was terrible.

So, when would he finally get superpowers?

“Hmm, I’ll try my best to hold out until I’m thirty, then see if I can use magic~”

Life, after all, had to continue.

Pies might fall from the sky, but they would never land on him.

Su Mu walked, but the shortcut alley he usually took home was inexplicably blocked.

The onlookers chattered excitedly. Unlike office workers with steady jobs, he had ample time to listen to gossip.

Soon, with the help of the crowd, he understood: last night, there had been a terrifying armed conflict between superpowered gangs in this alley.

All sorts of abilities had flown wildly, scaring people half to death!

Frightening, truly frightening~

As for why they fought, opinions varied, but the theory of them fighting over a treasure was the most popular.

Su Mu lingered, gazing at the blocked alley. Could it be that the treasure those superpowered gangs were fighting over had dropped inside? And what if that treasure was a pill or a pearl that granted superpowers unconditionally?

“……”

Of course, when the police officers were free to disperse the crowd, Su Mu wisely followed suit.

After all, reading the room and assessing the situation was how he had survived until now.

Naturally, yes, naturally.

Even if the world was full of superpowered individuals, laws were still followed.

If everyone became the same, then in essence, no one had really changed.

Hmm…

What if someone hadn’t changed?

Then they would be an anomaly, deserving of ostracization.

****

Su Mu circled the residential area several times, finishing one community before moving to the next.

Such ‘heartwarming’ door-to-door service was often scorned for being dirty or slow. But being fast wouldn’t work; if he was too quick, they wouldn’t pay.

Like the time he helped someone pick a lock: the door opened instantly, but he was then shut outside and cursed for being ‘money-hungry.’ ‘Just for that? What right do you have? No one’s money grows on trees!’

If he had superpowers, he could have ripped the door off its hinges, smashed that jerk’s face flat, and made her pay.

“Phew~ Alright, enough for a day’s food and drink. Time to clock out~”

Being self-employed had its perks: flexible working hours.

With enough for a comfortable day, who cared about tomorrow?

Pensions, housing funds—who wanted to live that long anyway?

He would just muddle through, holding on for another four years.

Young man, onward, toward the path of a great magician.

Oh!

“?”

Su Mu was suddenly bumped on the shoulder. He paused, then looked back, but couldn’t find the person who had collided with him.

“Damn it, this isn’t one of those pickpocketing scenarios, is it?”

He hastily checked his crumpled wallet.

“……”

He slapped his own face. ‘Su Mu, oh Su Mu! How could you be so arrogant? What do you even have worth stealing? Perhaps a thief, seeing your ‘riches,’ would even pity you and give you more…’

“Hmm?”

“!”

It seemed there really was an extra item.

A card?

The kind he used to play as a kid… oh, the kind *others* used to play as kids~

A white-haired loli, dressed in work clothes just like his, looking like a drunken slob.

Ah~ It felt so familiar~

Eek~ He’d stumbled into the world of two-dimensional characters~ Truly, some things were just sickening.

‘What did this mean?’

‘Hmm… it couldn’t be…’

Su Mu drew a sharp breath, fearfully glancing around. ‘Damn it, someone’s after my ass.’

‘This card must be a feminized version of himself. The intent was crystal clear: it was a criminal notice, a prelude to his own violation.’

‘f*ck!’

‘I need to get back home, fast!’

‘Once there, he’d put several more locks on his rented room and seal the windows shut. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel safe!’

With that thought, Su Mu quickened his pace.

On the large display screens of the towering buildings, news reported the capture of yet another villainous ability user.

Su Mu glanced at it. He always watched when he passed, as it was one of his ways of understanding the world. His rented room didn’t even have a TV, and if he bought one, it probably wouldn’t fit.

The screens often showed profiles of villainous ability users from around the world—those captured, those at large, the damage they caused, and how they deserved their fate.

To be honest, more than ordinary ability users, Su Mu detested these villainous ones. They possessed superpowers no one else had, yet they maniacally destroyed the world.

‘A bunch of chuunibyou brats whose brains haven’t developed properly!’

‘Absolutely toxic! If you’re not going to use your superpowers for good, you could at least give them to me!’

‘They committed countless evils, heinous crimes—they deserved to be caught!’

Then, a somewhat blurry image appeared: a cute and endearing scene of a white-haired loli, dressed in oil-stained, tattered work clothes, laughing, clapping, and setting off fireworks.

‘Hmm, that background looks so familiar~’

Su Mu stared for a long while. The more he looked, the more he felt it was near his own home, and that white-haired loli…

“Hiss~”

He silently pulled out the card, comparing the two.

“……”

[Villainous Ability User NO.1 — Su Mo]

Su Mu swallowed hard, then put the card away again.

He turned and rushed home.

He ran faster than when he’d felt his behind was being targeted. Yes, this was a life-threatening crisis now.

‘What the hell?’

‘Eh? What in the world?’

‘Su Mo, Su what? Su Mo? Su what?’

‘Su Mu!’

Bang!

Su Mu slammed the door shut! He leaned against it, breathing heavily!

‘Damn it!’

‘Why, of all times, did he suddenly remember everything that happened last night? Wasn’t it just a dream?’

‘I…’

‘Good news:’

‘After many years, he had finally awakened a superpower.’

‘Bad news:’

‘I am Villain NO.1!’