The Grandmaster’s Arrival

As A’si had always claimed, he was nothing more than an uneducated ne’er-do-well, a thug who spent his days indulging in drink, gambling, and women. Thus, it was no surprise when, after barely a move or two, the corpse puppets cornered him.

He stumbled back a few steps before collapsing to the ground, leaning heavily against the wall. His breath came in ragged gasps, his face marred by crimson streaks from sharp claws, yet his eyes remained wide, fixed in a desperate stare.

The encroaching shadows instantly swallowed his slight frame. As the unsettling, low growls echoed relentlessly in his ears, A’si braced himself with one hand, his fingers digging deep into the soil beneath him. Suddenly, he hissed.

“Damn it, you ugly bastards think you’re the only ones who can bite? Your Grandfather Si will chew you all to death!”

He sprang to his feet, lunging at the nearest corpse puppet. His mouth gaped open, poised to sink his teeth viciously into its neck.

Suddenly, two sharp ‘thumps’ rang out.

Someone had kicked aside the corpse puppet directly in his path.

A’si, however, had charged with too much force, making an abrupt stop impossible.

He plunged headlong, directly into the newcomer’s embrace.

The person stiffened, then promptly kicked him away as if warding off a plague.

“Another man offering himself to me? Xu Niantang, perhaps I should simply stop saving people.”

Xu Niantang, her arms still wrapped around his neck, let out a soft chuckle.

“You don’t even want me, so why fear others falling for you after you rescue them?”

The person retorted.

“True enough. But Xu Niantang, must you always speak such nonsense? When have I ever not wanted you?”

Xu Niantang, unwilling to prolong their banter, remained comfortably pressed against him. Her eyes narrowed, and her lashes fluttered with a faint tremor.

A’si was utterly stunned. He rubbed his blurring eyes.

“It seems Grandfather Si is experiencing a final burst of clarity, for I’m actually witnessing the grand finale of ‘The Flying Thief Chasing His Wife for a Thousand Miles: Revised Edition’!”

The person gently removed Xu Niantang’s wandering hand from their person, then spoke.

“I’ve always said that if your Lei Clan Martial Arts School converted into a circus, business would boom tenfold. How can you possibly have the leisure to spout nonsense when you’re on the brink of death?”

A’si’s mind, a jumbled mess, still struggled to comprehend that the Grandmaster had personally arrived.

“Grandmaster, is that truly you? Not even Grandmaster’s wife’s novels would dare to portray such a scene!”

Having already wiped away the corpse puppet makeup from his face, he offered a cold smile.

“Then you still gravely underestimate her. Soon enough, I’ll show you the true extent of her boundless imagination.”

****

In another alley, not far away, Senior Brother Zhao and Senior Brother Long were also fighting to the brink of exhaustion. The horde of corpse puppets seemed endless; any gap they cleaved open was instantly filled, an inexhaustible tide.

Senior Brother Zhao pivoted, took a step, and swung his blade in a level arc. A flash of white light, and a snarling, clawing corpse puppet was instantly cleaved in two at the waist.

Blood gushed forth like a spring, splattering his eyebrows, nose, and chin.

Yet, this fresh blood, like potent liquor, only served to heighten his fervor.

“Hahaha! Junior Brother Long! For a true man, born into this world, to endure such a battle—is this not exhilarating?”

Junior Brother Long, with his broadsword, gouged out a heart, savagely piercing the chest of a corpse puppet before him.

He had stabbed with such ferocity that the blade became lodged. Unable to extract it, he simply released the hilt, engaging in bare-handed combat. He swiftly knocked down two more corpse puppets.

“Indeed! Far better than your usual sanctimonious, pretentious, hypocritical demeanor!”

‘So I’m truly that insufferable when I act pretentious?’ Senior Brother Zhao mused.

As the saying goes, a dying man’s words are often sincere. Thus, he magnanimously patted his chest and declared.

“Junior Brother Long, I confess your Senior Brother often enjoys showing off and seeking attention. I truly apologize for that. And now that I think about it, perhaps Grandmaster’s wife was also annoyed by my pretentiousness, which is why she always spoke to me so coldly…”

Junior Brother Long never imagined this man, on the verge of death, would still be preoccupied with flirting.

“Damn it, Zhao, you’re not still harboring designs on Grandmaster’s wife, are you? Do you believe I won’t tell her your real name, ‘Zhao Ergou,’ next time?”

Senior Brother Zhao’s face instantly paled.

“Junior Brother Long, for heaven’s sake, don’t you dare tell Grandmaster’s wife! If she learns my real name, how will I ever flirt with the young women of Quzhou City?”

Junior Brother Long offered a faint, unconcerned smile.

“Don’t worry, neither of us will live to tell the tale anyway. Speaking of which, it’s a pity Grandmaster’s wife didn’t witness this bloody battle. Otherwise, seeing our heroic spirit, her heart might have been ever so slightly stirred.”

Senior Brother Zhao, hearing this, couldn’t agree more. He gave a fervent thumbs-up.

“Junior Brother Long, you’ve spouted so much nonsense over the years, but today, this one sentence actually shows some wit!”

Suddenly, someone approached, their spring sword already unsheathed.

With two swift ‘clangs,’ they decimated the corpse puppets before them, then spoke.

“‘Hearts slightly stirred,’ my ass! I think you two brats are the ones whose wicked desires and youthful infatuation are still blooming, aren’t they?”

Senior Brothers Zhao and Long froze instantly.

They looked toward the source of the voice. In the sunlight stood a tall, slender figure, carrying the peerlessly beautiful Grandmaster’s wife on their back, with a small follower trailing behind.

The Grandmaster spoke.

“Hurry and keep up! If you fall behind, I won’t be coming back for you!”

Both men believed they were still dreaming.

Senior Brother Zhao, still deeply saddened, muttered.

“Damn it, why is Grandmaster’s wife still the Grandmaster’s even in my dream? I’m still not audacious enough! I can’t even dream what I wish!”

Junior Brother Long also found it rather peculiar.

“Are our dreams… the same?”

At that moment, A’si cleared his throat awkwardly, offering a reminder.

“Um… Senior Brother Zhao, Junior Brother Long, this isn’t a dream. The Grandmaster has returned to save us.”

Xu Niantang glanced at the two men, a smile gracing her lips, and added the final remark.

“Hmm, Zhao Ergou, the name actually sounds quite pleasant.”

“Damn it, Senior Brother Zhao, what’s wrong with you?”

“This is bad! He must have been ambushed by a corpse puppet just now, barely clinging to life. Now, he’s simply overcome with rage!”

‘This Lei Clan Martial Arts School certainly has a flair for the dramatic,’ Ye Di thought to himself. With a dismissive, “Your Grandmaster’s wife is leaving; hurry and follow,” he strode forward, Xu Niantang still on his back.

Xu Niantang, feeling it was rather unfair for the ‘bad guy’ to use her as bait, protested.

“You should have told them, ‘Follow me.’ You were the one who saved them.”

Ye Di chuckled softly.

“Xu Niantang, are you feigning that ‘cute girl who doesn’t know she’s cute’ act? These fellows, they forget their master once they have a grandmaster, and they forget their grandmaster once they have a grandmaster’s wife. I’ve seen right through their antics long ago.”

Xu Niantang laughed.

“They’re only closer to me because they want to hear my stories. In truth, they’re quite fond of you too.”

Before Ye Di could respond, a disciple’s voice drifted from the distance.

“This must be the ‘Guanxi Boxing’ that Grandmaster’s wife mentioned in the third chapter of ‘The Flying Thief Chasing His Wife to a Crematorium: Revised Edition,’ right?”

It seemed that as they walked, they had unknowingly stumbled upon another group of disciples who had ‘stayed behind to use the restroom.’

Ye Di blinked, then asked the young woman.

“What ‘Guanxi Boxing’?”

Xu Niantang’s face flushed crimson. She dared not respond to the ‘bad guy,’ instead silently grumbling about the talkative disciples in her heart.

But how could those disciples possibly hear Grandmaster’s wife’s thoughts? Another of them shouted loudly.

“Precisely! This is the very essence of the episode, ‘Grandmaster’s Wife Punches Down the Guanxi Town!’ Back then, Grandmaster’s wife, with this very set of boxing techniques, dominated Guanxi. Now, even with the small fraction we’ve secretly learned, applying it all to these corpse puppets is certainly making the best use of it!”

Ye Di now began to understand.

“Xu Niantang, in your novel, you not only twist the truth by claiming I pursued you, but you also depict yourself as a formidable martial artist?”

Xu Niantang feigned composure and replied.

“Hmm, I think it’s pretty much accurate.”

Another voice chimed in.

“What a pity! Our talents are too dull to master Grandmaster’s ‘Flying Dragon in the Sky,’ ‘Overturning Mountains and Seas,’ and ‘Five Kernel Mooncake.’ Otherwise, wouldn’t dealing with these shadowy creatures be effortless?”

Ye Di now found himself compelled to grow serious, questioning the young woman.

“Xu Niantang, how is it that I don’t even know I possess these techniques?”

Xu Niantang, in an act of escapism, began tying a few strands of the ‘bad guy’s’ hair into a knot.

“There’s no harm in making you sound a bit more powerful anyway.”

Ye Di sighed.

“Xu Niantang, for the sake of your future reputation, your fabricated stories should at least contain some elements of truth, shouldn’t they?”

Xu Niantang hadn’t quite grasped his meaning.

Suddenly, Ye Di strode forward with purpose.

He looked at the shouting disciples and declared.

“Come! This move is called ‘Flying Dragon in the Sky’! Watch closely!”

He tossed the spring sword in his hand upwards. The blade, catching the sunlight, spun rapidly in the air.

Immediately after, a faint, deep rumble, like a dragon’s roar, echoed from above.

The disciples, initially overjoyed to see their Grandmaster, were now so astonished that their jaws nearly dropped.

“Damn it! Is that Grandmaster’s ‘Flying Dragon in the Sky’? It really looks like a dragon is circling above!”

“I’m getting excited… Grandmaster’s wife was pursued for a thousand miles by such a handsome Grandmaster, how has she not been captured yet?! I’m so impatient, impatient, impatient!”

Xu Niantang, too, parted her lips slightly, gazing upwards at her sword in the sky, her eyes sparkling.

Ye Di then stated.

“Watch carefully! Next is what your Grandmaster’s wife calls ‘Overturning Mountains and Seas’!”

The spring sword paused mid-air, then plummeted downwards with sudden force.

With a resounding ‘boom!’ a vast cloud of dust billowed up, obscuring their vision. When the swirling dust finally dispersed, the once-dense tide of corpse puppets now lay scattered, motionless, before them.

The martial arts school disciples all wore dazed expressions.

Some stared at the unmoving corpse puppets on the ground, others at their Grandmaster.

Still others gazed at the Grandmaster’s wife, whose face was flushed crimson on his back, and shouted loudly.

“This is bad! Grandmaster’s wife is really going to be captured this time! If ‘The Flying Thief Chasing His Wife to a Crematorium: Revised Edition’ ends, what will we read? Grandmaster’s wife, please maintain your composure! Drag it out for a few more chapters!”

Listening to the disciples’ words, Xu Niantang spoke to the ‘bad guy’.

“You see, they all say you shouldn’t flirt with me anymore, or I truly won’t be able to hold out.”

Ye Di, however, merely chuckled.

“Xu Niantang, if you can’t hold out, then don’t. What other scenarios have you told them? To prevent you from becoming Quzhou City’s foremost female trickster, I’ll reluctantly do my best to accurately recreate them.”

‘Every girl once had girlish dreams, but they didn’t necessarily expect them to come true,’ Xu Niantang thought. ‘Because you are my dream.’

She smiled and said.

“Alright, in ‘The Flying Thief Chasing His Wife for a Thousand Miles: First Edition,’ I also wrote that you broke through three thousand armored soldiers with a single sword strike.”

Ye Di replied.

“These corpse puppets aren’t wearing armor, so breaking through three thousand would be exaggerated. Let’s try for six thousand.”

He raised his hand and gestured forward, urging the martial arts school disciples to follow quickly.

“Come! Let’s go find your master!”

With his full sword intent unleashed, any corpse puppets blocking their path crumbled instantly, and in the blink of an eye, a swath of them lay fallen.

Without waiting for the ‘bad guy’ to speak, Xu Niantang continued.

“In the first chapter of ‘The Flying Thief Chasing His Wife to a Crematorium: Revised Edition,’ you took me up to Lingxiao Pavilion to admire the beautiful scenery of Huzhou.”

Ye Di said.

“Lingxiao Pavilion is a hundred thousand miles away from here, so that’s not possible for now. Let’s go up to Yue King’s Tower instead.”

He summoned his flying sword, leaped onto it with Xu Niantang on his back, and soared directly towards Yue King’s Tower, the tallest building in Quzhou City.

The rushing wind ruffled Xu Niantang’s long hair. She narrowed her eyes, her eyebrows curving uncontrollably.

“Slow down. They won’t be able to keep up with you on the ground.”

Ye Di flew for a while before descending, landing steadily on the spire of Yue King’s Tower.

The setting sun was like blood, and at the edge of the earth, the last sliver of afterglow slowly faded as if closing an eye.

He gazed into the distance for a moment before speaking.

“I see them. Three big idiots, arm in arm, looking quite close.”

Xu Niantang chuckled.

“Alright. In the final chapter of ‘The Flying Thief Chasing His Wife for a Thousand Miles: Side Story,’ we appear before everyone, save them, and then retreat into the mountains, leaving worldly affairs behind, living the life of immortal companions.”

Ye Di glanced at her.

“Xu Niantang, your map of Yan State is truly short!”

Xu Niantang was no longer shy, smiling as she met his gaze directly.

“Is that not allowed?”

Ye Di sighed.

“You are injured today, so everything will be done according to your wishes.”

And so they swept into the distance, descending upon the battlefield under the twilight sky.

Curses and grumbles continued to echo.

“Damn it! This is truly endless!”

“This old man, in his entire life, has opened two thousand five hundred ninety-three…”

“Damn it, raising disciples is indeed not as good as raising dogs…”

The blood-red sun was sinking, its afterglow gradually withdrawn, and darkness, like a curtain, enveloped the land.

But as the three men cursed, their voices abruptly ceased, their eyes wide.

For at the very front of the corpse tide, two figures approached them.

Lei Ling was the first to cheer.

“Damn it! They truly are a perfect match, a match made in heaven!”

Luo Yifang was not to be outdone.

“Don’t spout nonsense! I was the first one not to charge them a consultation fee, considering it my contribution!”

Tan Xianglong, though unfamiliar with the two, felt an overwhelming sense of relief. He, too, became excited.

“This work is far too dangerous! If my salary isn’t increased next time, I absolutely won’t serve!”

Ye Di tilted his head, asking the young woman.

“What do you say? Shall you give the command?”

The group of martial arts school disciples behind them stumbled to catch up.

Each of them was panting like an ox, shouting loudly.

“Grandmaster, you’re far too fast! Grandmaster’s wife has you carrying her, but we don’t! If you don’t slow down, we won’t be bitten to death by these ghastly things, but we’ll surely be exhausted to death by you first!”

Upon seeing this, Lei Ling roared.

“As martial artists, how can we complain about a small difficulty? Hurry and say that Grandmaster is admirably fast!”

Ye Di replied.

“Lei Clan Leader, you’re the one who’s admirably fast; your whole family is admirably fast!”

Xu Niantang hooked her lips, listening to their bickering and nonsense, feeling as if she had reclaimed the days of old.

Ye Di felt the young woman on his back stir, thinking she had something to say.

“Xu Niantang, what’s wrong?”

Xu Niantang smiled faintly.

“I’m fine… I just feel very happy…”

Her body, which had begun to warm, now grew cold again, as if plunging into an ice cellar. Her consciousness seemed to detach from her mind; sounds, lights, and shadows rapidly receded. Her body felt heavy, like lead, sinking endlessly into a silent, deep sea.

‘So that’s how it is,’ she thought. ‘Although the bleeding has stopped, too much blood was lost before.’

‘But it doesn’t matter, because the side story has also reached its grand finale.’

‘They both saved everyone they cared about, and from then on, they lived a life of harmony and mutual respect, like immortal companions.’

With that, the hand hooked around his neck tightened slightly.

He sensed something was wrong.

“Xu Niantang, don’t speak anymore. I’ll have Doctor Luo examine you immediately!”

His response was met only with the shallow curve of Xu Niantang’s lips, and her head, which suddenly slumped forward.