The Night He Didn’t Push Me Away

“Are you okay? Can you walk?”

With an expression that looked rather pleased, in contrast to his worried voice, Jeongha supported the stumbling Haeyoon.

“Uh, uhuh… I’m fine. Sorry… Just a moment.”

Haeyoon, who kept collapsing into Jeongha’s arms, gave a somewhat rambling answer as he tried to straighten up, but soon leaned his back against the building wall and stood there.

“I told you, that stuff would knock you out.”

Jeongha, who had lightly placed a hand on Haeyoon’s waist in case he might topple sideways, spoke.

He kept sipping on the sweet highball saying it was good, and ended up getting drunk after all.

The drinking session, which started lightly with beer, went on for a long time with changes in the type of alcohol.

It was Haeyoon who first sought out the higher-proof liquor.

When someone who doesn’t drink well or enjoy it suddenly does that, there’s usually a reason.

Taking advantage of the moment when the alcohol was kicking in more, Jeongha asked the reason and ended up seeing the message Haeyoon had received from Ahn Seonwoo a few days ago.

No wonder it was strange for him to suddenly contact him late at night asking to drink; that seemed to be the reason.

The message, which clearly looked intended to hurt Seo Haeyoon, was like worthless filth.

Even Seo Haeyoon probably knew that.

But people still get hurt.

Even knowing you lose by doing so, there are times like that.

It’s not something impossible to understand.

Of course, the usual Jeongha would have found it pathetic.

Thinking it’s stupid to still be bound to people who amount to nothing and get hurt by a message whose intention is so transparent.

“Wait. The driver will be here soon; I’ll have him take you home.”

But this time, he felt a pang of affection.

He felt pity and sorrow for the man in front of him, who, though not swayed, was still hurting.

He wanted to find it pathetic.

He wanted to scoff at this farce as if watching a parade of fools, but he couldn’t.

“I’m fine…. Whoa… I can go alone.”

The long breath Haeyoon exhaled carried the scent of alcohol.

Jeongha unknowingly took a step closer to him.

Was he getting drunk along with him?

Jeongha suddenly wanted to know Seo Haeyoon’s scent.

He was a Beta.

He was someone without pheromones.

Yet, he wanted to bury his nose in his nape and breathe in his fragrance.

“I know you can go alone. But I’m worried, so that’s why. You asked to drink, so we came all the way here; do I have to be anxious on top of that?”

It was a statement without logic.

But Haeyoon wasn’t in a state of mind to judge such things right now.

“Then just for a day… I’ll trouble you. Sorry…”

Haeyoon was still leaning against the wall.

Jeongha took another step closer to him.

Haeyoon’s delicate face came into view a bit more clearly.

His fair skin, which usually didn’t turn red but grew even paler when he drank, now had a faint reddish hue only around his eyes.

Jeongha realized for the first time at that moment that it could make a person look even more decadent.

Another step, and now the distance closed to the point where the edges of their clothes lightly brushed.

Then, a strange scent different from the smell of alcohol reached the tip of his nose.

For a moment, Jeongha’s body stiffened with tension.

It was because he instinctively thought of pheromones.

But it was impossible.

Haeyoon was a Beta.

Only then did Jeongha realize the scent he was catching was the smell of oil paint.

The image of Seo Haeyoon painting on a canvas as tall as himself in his studio unfolded before his eyes.

He wasn’t someone who had a particular romance about artists, but he felt enchanted.

He, who had never been interested in painting in his life, suddenly became curious about what kind of paintings Seo Haeyoon made.

He wanted to see.

Jeongha took another deep breath and continued to close the distance between them.

Each time Haeyoon blinked slowly, the shadow of his long eyelashes fell on his white skin.

It was a sight as elegant as a painting.

Jeongha, without realizing it, raised his hand, touched the tips of his eyelashes, and then carefully stroked his reddened eye corners.

Haeyoon didn’t pull away but hunched his shoulders.

“That tickles…”

“Yeah. I know.”

Jeongha mumbled without even knowing what he was saying.

He thought he wasn’t that drunk, but apparently, he was.

His vision swayed.

“Is the driver here…?”

In this situation, what Seo Haeyoon asked was whether the designated driver had arrived.

Jeongha let out a soft, pfft, laugh.

A strange competitive spirit rose.

It wasn’t a pheromone issue; it seemed Haeyoon didn’t feel even a tiny spark for Baek Jeongha.

This wasn’t within the realm of understanding just because he was deeply hurt in love.

If Jeongha reached out his hand right now, there were more than enough people who would use the pain of the breakup as an excuse, even a more passionate one, to come running.

And this wasn’t a story limited only to Omegas.

But Seo Haeyoon was different.

It was a ‘contract relationship’ in name only; he viewed Baek Jeongha too plainly.

Jeongha couldn’t sense any desire to use this incident to try something.

Rather, the one acting like a desperate, rut-crazed Alpha was Baek Jeongha himself.

Ignoring Haeyoon’s question, Jeongha opened his mouth.

“Did you get sick of Alphas because of Oh Jaeyeol?”

At the suddenly mentioned name, Haeyoon slightly furrowed his brow.

Jeongha didn’t pay it any mind.

“Do you want your next relationship to be with a Beta?”

He didn’t think Haeyoon felt no attraction to Baek Jeongha as a person.

No, it was more accurate to say he didn’t want to think that.

It wasn’t like he was desperate for Baek Jeongha either.

It wasn’t like he had a heart that must win his love.

Yet, Jeongha acted as if he absolutely wanted to find some possibility.

Even though he was aware he was acting pitifully, he couldn’t stop.

“Relationship…”

Haeyoon slowly let the word linger on his lips.

While waiting for the answer to follow, his heart pounded as if it would burst.

On Haeyoon’s face, which had lowered his gaze, he couldn’t sense any flutter, and that made Jeongha restless.

It felt like for the first time in his life, he had become the ‘weaker’ one.

Feeling the emotion of the weaker party in front of someone betrayed and abandoned.

It was unfamiliar and strange, as he had never even imagined such a thing, but since he didn’t entirely dislike it, it was also interesting.

Haeyoon, who likely couldn’t even guess at such emotions, seriously answered the question.

“Well, relationship… that’s something I’m a bit, tired of now.”

It was an unexpected answer.

Jeongha lifted Haeyoon’s chin, which had been nodding forward, and spoke.

“You said you’ve only been with Oh Jaeyeol; what’s there to be tired of?”

“Hmm… I was with that one person for a long time. Too long… And even after breaking up, I’m seeing sights I shouldn’t…”

“Hmm…”

“I don’t… I don’t want to go through this again… Never again…”

“…….”

“It hurts too much… I don’t want to experience it again… I hate it. It hurts too, too much, this kind of thing.”

At that moment, Jeongha felt a pain as if a giant spear had pierced his chest.

It was a sensation hard to believe even as he felt it.

Baek Jeongha wasn’t the type to empathize with others’ emotions from the start.

It was routine for him to hear jokes from close friends asking if he was a psychopath.

But now, here was a person whining that a single heartbreak hurt too much.

A foolish person who had kept those humans, who were such trash, close as a lover and friend without even knowing, and now, saying the wounds from his own stupidity hurt so much he doesn’t even want to meet anyone.

Baek Jeongha was feeling that person’s pain as if it were his own.

“What if it’s someone who won’t hurt you?”

Jeongha asked as if entranced.

It was a pitiful question, to the point of being absurd even to himself.

Someone who won’t hurt you?

Did he want to claim he was that kind of person?

Instead of answering, Haeyoon let out a hollow laugh, pushed off from the wall, and leaned his body forward.

He was just trying to straighten up, but he was dizzy, and because Baek Jeongha was standing too close, he ended up leaning against Jeongha’s chest.

Haeyoon tried to pull away immediately, but Jeongha didn’t miss the opportunity and wrapped his arms around Haeyoon just like that.

Soon, a large hand began quietly patting Haeyoon’s back.

“You might fall if you move, so stay still.”

“Ah… Am I acting drunk right now?”

Even while being forcibly held, he was the one reflecting.

It was a given, but it was fortunate Haeyoon had such a cold and sharp appearance.

Otherwise, he couldn’t even imagine how many people would have tried to hit on him.

“You’re more drunk than you look.”

Jeongha continued patting Haeyoon’s back while playfully muttering.

Haeyoon was fairly tall, so he hadn’t realized, but holding him, he felt excessively thin.

One might think it doesn’t matter if he’s thin as long as he’s healthy, but the problem was the protective instinct he didn’t even know he had was rising.

He must have drunk way too much.

Jeongha could only think that.

“Yeah. Sorry. I won’t drink anymore.”

Haeyoon now gave up on standing on his own entirely, even rubbing his forehead against Jeongha’s shoulder.

It was cute.

Far from being bothersome or pathetic, it was so cute it kept making him want to smile.

Jeongha just held Haeyoon for a long while, until he received the call that the driver had arrived.