Higashi Hazuki Sets Her Resolve

[Sure——]

In the end, I agreed.

Maybe it was to gain twice the excitement and pleasure.

Or maybe it was to maintain Higashi Hazuki’s outward image.

Either way, I accepted.

Even though it felt like things would get troublesome later.

As long as I was careful, it was unlikely my acting would be seen through.

Besides, situations like this—someone proactively coming to ask to become friends—would probably happen often in the future.

I might as well treat it as practice for handling sudden developments ahead of time.

After receiving our response, Hanaumae Aiba showed a happy smile.

[You can just call me Aiba.

Um, Tsuki, Kaoru.]

Tenzan Kaoru had been a little timid at first.

But seeing Hanaumae Aiba’s proactive friendliness, she gradually relaxed.

[Yeah, Aiba.]

[Um, Tsuki, Kaoru, what were you just talking about?]

As someone who had just joined our little group, Hanaumae Aiba was clearly eager to take part in our conversation.

[We were talking about romance.]

[Romance—]

Hanaumae Aiba’s eyes lit up.

No matter how different people’s interests might be, once romance came up, everyone could say a few things.

It was a topic that naturally sparked discussion.

[Could it be you, Kaoru?

Do you have someone you like?]

It was obvious Hanaumae Aiba hadn’t participated in conversations like this much before.

She asked directly.

If we’d just met, this might have made someone too embarrassed to answer, maybe even causing an awkward silence.

Of course, that’s an exaggerated way to put it.

In reality, nothing like that happened.

If anything, I was slightly surprised that Hanaumae Aiba was so familiar right from the start.

But it wasn’t something worth paying much attention to.

Fortunately, Tenzan Kaoru used to be the type who stayed in her own space without much interaction with others.

She didn’t mind at all.

[Um, it’s not me, Aiba.

It’s Tsuki.]

[Kaoru—]

Faced with that situation, I blushed slightly and called out helplessly.

[Hehe, sorry, Tsuki.]

[It’s a bit late to apologize after saying it.]

[Ugh—]

[Tsuki has someone she likes?]

Hanaumae Aiba looked surprised.

[I thought someone as pretty as Tsuki wouldn’t fall for anyone.]

[I’m still a normal woman, I think.]

That wasn’t exactly true.

But there was no need to say that out loud.

[Um, sorry, Tsuki.]

Hanaumae Aiba clasped her hands together apologetically.

[It’s fine.

I’ve rejected too many boys usually, so it’s normal to be misunderstood.]

I shook my head, easing her tension a bit.

[But I wouldn’t call it liking.

It’s just… a bit of a feeling.]

[Hehe, Tsuki’s denying it again.

You clearly like Ichijō.

In the clubroom, whenever Ichijō gets close to Noriyuki, Tsuki puts down whatever she’s doing and just stares.]

[D-Do I?]

I acted flustered.

With that reaction, even denial sounded like confirmation.

[Hmph, I’ve been paying attention to you all along, Tsuki.]

That was because I was showing it to you on purpose.

I knew you’d care about this, so I acted it out in front of you.

Playing the role of a woman who loves but can’t obtain.

That’s why it was a little enjoyable.

[Could it be… Tsuki has a crush on someone?]

Hanaumae Aiba looked utterly incredulous.

[You’re really timid, Tsuki.

Someone as popular as you definitely wouldn’t be rejected if you confessed to Ichijō.]

[That’s not necessarily true, Kaoru.

After all—]

I sighed.

[Doesn’t Ichijō like Noriyuki more?]

As I displayed my disappointment, the atmosphere of the conversation visibly sank.

[Ichijō is…?]

Hanaumae Aiba looked confused.

[Ichijō Riku from Class 1–6.]

Tenzan Kaoru answered.

[Can I ask you both something?]

I spoke hesitantly.

[Could you not tell anyone else about this?]

[Yeah, yeah.

Then—what does Aiba like?]

Sensing my discomfort, Tenzan Kaoru changed the subject.

[Do you like magical girls?]

Her eyes sparkled, as if hoping to find a kindred spirit.

In the next moment, her expression fell.

Hanaumae Aiba shook her head, then answered shyly.

[I like baseball.]

——

[Come on, hurry up and work!]

Kudō Yoshiko was completely acting like the head of an editorial department.

She directed us energetically.

[Yes, President Kudō!]

Tenzan Kaoru responded with the enthusiasm of a tireless perfect worker.

Of course, I did much the same.

I replied energetically, then returned to my task.

Murmuring the manuscript in my head, I typed its contents into the computer.

Then—

Is this Noriyuki’s manuscript?

I noticed a piece written beautifully.

Not only was the handwriting pleasant, but the content itself caught my attention.

—Willing to Move Forward.

That was the title.

And also—

—Reflections after reading Dazai Osamu’s No Longer Human.

As I looked at her writing, I typed its contents in.

[—I can also understand what Dazai Osamu felt.

While reading, I began to merge my heart with Yōzō in the book.

Some say he feared the selfishness, deceit, hypocrisy, and cruelty shown by humans.

That after experiencing such contact, he fell into despair and took his own life.

I don’t think it was such a laughable reason.

In fact, in his final autobiographical work, you can see his struggle against a dark life.

You can see his hope for salvation.

Even though that hope was extinguished by overwhelming despair.

This is something I, too, have felt.

Deep within despair, there is always a flicker of hope.

I’ve also wondered what meaning my own existence in this world has.

My family never gave me sufficient warmth.

Though I don’t have the same unbearable sense of isolation from the world as Yōzō—

It’s actually quite similar.

A comparable loneliness, though not to such an extreme degree.

It’s really that I’ve already stopped affirming myself.

Yōzō deliberately distorted himself out of fear.

In the end, he chose the most extreme form of corruption.

He committed the very ugliness of humanity he feared.

From one perspective, isn’t that a denial of his own existence?

We all, more or less, have denied our own existence at times.

Perhaps due to setbacks in life.

Perhaps due to experiences we couldn’t bear.

Some even let their hearts completely rot, believing themselves beyond salvation.

In truth, nothing is beyond saving.

In the long span of life, every event we experience is part of it.

They aren’t insignificant.

But compared to the events we’ll experience in the future, they don’t occupy that much weight.

The future—perhaps it holds a path to redemption.

—]

[—Yōzō lacked that redemption.

More than anything, it was because he completely gave up on himself.

He couldn’t see hope in the future.

That’s what makes it so regrettable.

—]

[If one is willing to move forward, perhaps more change is possible.]

After finishing typing that manuscript, I took a small breath.

Willing to move forward—

Can someone like me really still move forward?

In the end, I’ve already decided that rotting away is my destination.

But before that, I’ll play the role of Higashi Hazuki properly.

So that everyone—those fools I deceive—at least those who like Higashi Hazuki, won’t be disappointed by my existence.

Of course, I’ll also shamelessly take in whatever pleasure I can feel.

If I leave smoothly, I’ll probably get one last burst of happiness.

I smiled.

But—

Thinking like that, I didn’t actually feel happy.

Even that sense of anticipation had weakened.

Why?

It’s hard to understand.

[Higashi—]

Ichijō Riku looked hesitant, but in the end, he asked.

[Can you tell me what you’re thinking about?]

[Ah—]

I replied.

[I was just thinking that I’ve been getting carried away lately.

I almost forgot my original goal.]

[I see—]

He took out his phone and played a pleasant piece of music.

[Higashi, sometimes—]

[Only by forgetting where you’re headed can you keep moving forward.]

He looked much quieter in front of me.

[So then, Ichijō.

Have you forgotten?]

I laughed lightly and blinked.

[Forgot that I’m wearing white today?]

[Eh—]

Your face is red, Ichijō.

It was because at noon, while applying ointment, I unexpectedly turned around.

I exposed my upper body, wearing nothing but underwear, right in front of him.

Higashi Hazuki’s figure is quite impressive.

You could say she’s the perfect choice for the sole heroine of an anime series.

Especially her chest—enough to make Nangō Rin jealous.

It’s the first thing boys notice when they look at Higashi Hazuki.

Even the upright Ichijō Riku was drawn in at that moment.

And then rewarded me with my utterly wicked laughter.

Just like now.

[Hehehehehe.]

[So, Higashi, you should be careful too.]

[It’s fine.

I’ll only show Ichijō.

After all, you said you’d take responsibility for Higashi Hazuki, didn’t you?]

I tapped my chin and smiled gently.

[After you win their hearts in the future, don’t forget Higashi Hazuki’s heart too.]

[I’m rooting for you, Ichijō.]

[I’m really happy to have Higashi’s trust.]

Ichijō Riku shook his head helplessly and pressed his earphones.

[This is a new song I found last night.

Is it alright, Higashi?]

I closed my eyes.

For some reason, the discomfort in my heart just now suddenly eased a little.

No matter what, my goal won’t change.

As if afraid I might forget, I told myself seriously in my heart.

Then—

Feeling the gentle melody, I smiled softly.

[It’s really nice.

Maybe my taste is the same as yours, Ichijō.]

[That’s great to hear.]

Ichijō Riku looked happy and turned the volume up slightly.

We enjoyed the music all the way to the kendo club.

——

Murata Daisuke gave no response at all.

It seemed he’d truly decided to sacrifice himself rather than sell out the members of the group.

In a way, he was like the kind of believer cults want.

I was frustrated at being unable to handle this variable.

But as people who had caused us harm one after another, letting them go without punishment wouldn’t sit right.

Perhaps handing it over to the teachers would be enough to dissolve this bizarre fan group.

As I was thinking about what to do—

[Here.

Everything you want to know is written in this.]

Murata Daisuke, his face ashen, handed over a notebook.