The Saintess’s Unwavering Gaze

Before Li Tianming stood Xie Haizhu, radiant in her Saintess form. Her exquisite, beautiful face was alight with genuine joy, though a trace of lingering worry had yet to fully dissipate.

As she spoke, she simultaneously cast a healing spell upon Li Tianming. It was a very low-tier enchantment, perhaps only Bronze-ranked, offering negligible healing for the damage he had sustained from a Battle Lord-tier spell.

Before he could even voice a protest about wasting her energy, Xie Haizhu unleashed another identical healing spell.

Then another.

And another.

Spell after spell.

Li Tianming instantly understood.

Indeed, the current Xie Haizhu was incapable of casting highly complex healing magic. However, her magical power was of the Battle Lord tier.

Even the most minuscule magical effects, when accumulated, could trigger a qualitative change, achieving a similar outcome.

If his suspicions were correct, Xie Haizhu had likely cast this healing spell no less than a thousand times before he had even awakened.

Her patience was boundless. She showed not the slightest hint of shame for this seemingly foolish endeavor, reminiscent of the ‘Foolish Old Man Who Removed Mountains’.

This was utterly unlike the Xie Haizhu of legend. It was utterly unlike the Xie Haizhu etched in Li Tianming’s memory.

And the reason for this transformation lay entirely with his own mistakes…

“Stop, don’t wake up with such a gloomy expression,” she chided. “If your body is fine, then force a smile. Don’t make it seem as though my healing failed.”

Though he recognized Xie Haizhu’s veiled attempt to encourage him, Li Tianming struggled to form a suitable denial. He thoroughly assessed his physical condition, confirming that there were indeed no serious issues. Slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position.

His gaze swept around the room, and upon realizing he was in the Knight Order headquarters’ infirmary, Li Tianming let out a sigh of relief.

He could barely imagine the uproar that would ensue if a third party were to witness Xie Haizhu performing such rudimentary healing magic.

“Actually, someone came to see you earlier,” she remarked.

Li Tianming nearly leaped from the bed. Noticing Xie Haizhu’s grin, he immediately realized he had fallen for a trick.

In this moment, the scene undeniably reminded him of his past self from five years ago. He had been rigid and conservative in his ways, a trait Xie Shenhong often exploited to tease him, leaving him flustered yet ultimately enriched.

Throughout those five years, he had yearned to return to the past countless times.

Yet now, the mere thought of a memory-lost Xie Haizhu mimicking her former self brought him not fulfillment, but a profound surge of sorrow, regret, and self-reproach.

“Was it Lord Duanmu, or perhaps Lord Li Ziying?” he inquired.

“Neither,” she replied. “It was Light, Marco, and Wendy.”

“Were you perhaps thinking Wendy came seeking an opportunity to eliminate you?”

From his position on the bed, Li Tianming bowed his head low. “My deepest gratitude for your timely assistance, Lord Haizhu.”

“No need for thanks. I’ve already explained everything to Wendy.”

Li Tianming’s body stiffened imperceptibly, his face twisting into a grimace. To conceal it from Xie Haizhu, he bowed his head even lower, forcefully suppressing the anger welling within him, and spoke with feigned composure.

“Lord Haizhu, I appreciate your help, but I implore you not to intervene in such matters again. Though this subordinate may be incompetent, I am still capable of resolving conflicts with my own people.”

“No.”

‘It finally came.’

Hearing Xie Haizhu’s somewhat willful retort, Li Tianming felt a wave of relief. He prepared to offer counsel, just as he always had—

“You’re displaying such a pained expression; how could I possibly stand by idly?”

Li Tianming looked up, stunned.

Xie Haizhu’s face still held that same initial expression of profound concern.

“Are you finally willing to look at my expression?”

Upon hearing this, Li Tianming lowered his head once more, speaking respectfully.

“Lord Haizhu, please cease this foolishness.”

“Are you truly so afraid of me looking at you with such an expression?”

Xie Haizhu continued, her voice laced with what sounded like worry, yet also a touch of heartache.

“It is only right and proper for Lord Haizhu to treat her subordinate in any manner she deems fit…”

Xie Haizhu cut him off.

“If your objective is for me to help Dichen and then complain about it, I will not do that.”

“Everything this subordinate does is for Lord Haizhu, never with any other intention—”

Xie Haizhu interrupted him again.

“I believe that. You genuinely yearn for my recovery… So, do you require my praise?”

Li Tianming suppressed the powerful urge to loudly interject, bowing his head deeply as he spoke. “This subordinate has merely fulfilled his duties, which is hardly worthy of Lord Haizhu’s—”

Without a hint of surprise, Xie Haizhu interrupted him yet again.

However, unlike before, this interruption brought with it the scolding he had so desperately yearned for.

“No,” she declared. “Though you desire my well-being, your persistent yearning for punishment has caused this entire matter to be mishandled from start to finish. Therefore, I reject the notion that you have performed your duties well.”

Li Tianming felt no joy; instead, a wave of panic washed over him.

It was a terrifying sensation, as though the depths of his soul had been brutally exposed to the harsh light of day.

Yet, he found himself utterly unable to utter a single word of rebuttal.

For he truly harbored selfish motives.

Under normal circumstances, there were numerous ways to help Xie Haizhu regain her memories. Even if stimulating methods were necessary, there was no need to deliberately provoke her disgust, making her despise and resent him.

After all, the former Xie Haizhu had never resented him; she had even worried about him until her very end.

Thus, the sole explanation for Li Tianming’s actions was his desperate hope that the current Xie Haizhu would come to resent him.

He wished that even if Xie Haizhu were to recover her memories in the future, this emotion would persist.

So that he might finally receive the punishment he believed he deserved.

“Therefore, as I stated before, I will neither hate you nor dislike you,” she continued. “In other words, your plan has utterly failed. I still haven’t recovered my memories, and you haven’t accomplished a single thing…”

‘Not only that,’ Li Tianming silently added, ‘he also failed the mission to eliminate the Sakura Nation remnants and expel the Empire’s spies…’

‘He was a complete and utter failure.’

‘Incompetent.’

‘Worthless.’

‘Even if Xie Shenhong didn’t resent him, he had no right to continue living in this world—’

“I apologize, I lied,” she suddenly burst out. “It turns out I still truly, truly, truly detest you.”

Li Tianming froze, then slowly raised his head again, staring blankly at Xie Haizhu, whose face had inexplicably contorted into an expression of furious anger.

“I specifically told you not to bother with such elaborate formalities, yet every single time we meet, you insist on performing a grand bow! Do you genuinely believe these superficial gestures convey respect? And what about your vague, evasive explanations? Am I so charming that you must withhold information? Am I still a Saintess, or am I unworthy of knowing simply because I lack memories? What if the situation escalates because I’m kept in the dark? Will you bear that responsibility? Furthermore, what kind of disgusting behavior is it to betray your own subordinates, then set up an ambush to finish them off? I genuinely don’t understand how you managed to earn the reputation of ‘deeply trusted by subordinates’ during your time at the border. Did you perhaps bribe your superiors? Oh, and the most utterly infuriating thing is that you tell me not to interfere with those ‘minor matters,’ yet you rush off to handle them all by yourself, botch the job, and then wallow in solitary guilt! Please, even the old me couldn’t accomplish everything, could I? What precisely do you take yourself for…?”

In truth, Li Tianming had not acted alone; he had maintained constant communication with Duanmu Yun.

However, he found himself utterly unable to voice this rebuttal.

Xie Haizhu’s abrupt shift in demeanor, her tirade like a raging shrew, had completely flustered and bewildered him.

“Well, there you have it. Did you get what you wanted? Do you feel better?” After venting for a good while, Xie Haizhu’s expression returned to its usual composure.

Even knowing that Xie Haizhu’s outburst had been deliberate, Li Tianming still struggled to speak, even needing to press one hand against his faintly aching chest.

“It doesn’t feel good, does it? The reason is quite simple: you desired to be in control, to be the one who ‘made me angry,’ rather than for me to become angry on my own.”

“More precisely, you hoped your efforts would be met with a reward.”

“And the essence of that reward, much like a child’s mischievous antics before an adult, is fundamentally—”

Xie Haizhu’s clear, crimson eyes captured Li Tianming’s reflection.

‘A desperate craving for the other person’s attention.’