The General’s Dilemma and William Turner’s Shenanigans

Subheading: Time to Indulge!

“Hey! Speed it up ahead! Didn’t you eat?”

Qiweiya was currently cloaked in a wide, concealing garment, a colossal greatsword—the Heavy Sword Charge—strapped to her back. William Turner, now encased in clumsy, heavy full plate armor, trudged along behind her.

Qiweiya listened to William Turner’s complaints echoing from within his armor, feeling utterly helpless. After all, neither of them (William Turner being a cross-dresser) had anticipated having to join the reinforcement troops in such an odd manner to aid humanity.

The primary reason, truth be told, was that Mei and the others were unwilling for Qiweiya to possess anyone. Otherwise, things wouldn’t have been nearly so troublesome; a simple ‘source-form possession’ would have sufficed.

Yet, what good was discussing it now? They were already out there, weren’t they? Qiweiya, for her part, simply couldn’t fathom why Mei and the others had reacted so strongly.

“William Turner, don’t you need to ride a horse?”

William Turner cast a resentful glance at the pitiful pony struggling under Qiweiya’s weight, looking as though it might collapse at any moment.

“Lady Qiweiya, don’t you think your balance is a bit off right now?”

Qiweiya scratched her small head, hidden beneath her hood. “Is it? What’s going on? I’m not heavy, am I~?”

William Turner’s metallic hand tapped his helmeted head with a dull *thunk-thunk*, a gesture of exasperation. “Lady Qiweiya, have you perhaps forgotten what you’re carrying on your back?”

Qiweiya suddenly understood. “Oh right! I knew I felt light~” With that, she moved to unstrap the greatsword from her back.

“Whinny, whinny, whinny!”

“Huh? Huh, huh! Why is the ground getting closer?”

*Thud!

William Turner covered his face, addressing the soldiers who had witnessed the scene. “Don’t look at me, I don’t know her!”

“Ptooey, ptooey!” Qiweiya, her face smeared with dirt, scrambled to her feet. “Now I’ve got a mouthful of earth!”

William Turner teased, “Lady Qiweiya, how does it feel to kiss the earth? No, wait—how does it feel to *forcefully* kiss the earth!”

Qiweiya’s bright, intelligent eyes flashed with a cold light as she smiled and retorted, “I’m not quite sure how it feels, but I’d be absolutely delighted if you’d try it for me~”

“Cough, cough, cough.” William Turner fixed his gaze on the path ahead. “No need for that, I think continuing our journey is more important.”

“Hmph~ Coward.”

William Turner pretended not to hear. Qiweiya put away her greatsword, secretly healed the pony, and remounted. The horse shied, startled, nearly unseating Qiweiya again just as she had settled.

*Pfft.*

Qiweiya stared intently. William Turner, made uncomfortable by her gaze, offered a dry chuckle. “Uh, that? That wasn’t me laughing just now!”

Qiweiya rested her chin on her hand, watching the transparently evasive William Turner. “It’s fine, keep making excuses~ I’ll just wait and see what brilliant alibi you come up with.”

William Turner, sensing the mood, wisely closed the distance between himself and Qiweiya. *Thump-thump-thump…* Qiweiya began tapping out the melody of “Senbonzakura” with a perfect rhythm.

Just as William Turner was growing dizzy, she finally stopped her percussive assault, eliciting bewildered stares from the surrounding soldiers who looked at them as if they were fools.

“How does it feel?”

Under Qiweiya’s oppressive gaze, William Turner could only say, against his true feelings, “…It feels great.”

Qiweiya smiled. “A teachable pupil indeed~ You must grasp the lessons I just imparted! Never pass this on to others; it’s your master’s secret technique.”

William Turner glanced at the soldiers around them, who were now pondering what secret the rhythm held, and couldn’t help but admire Qiweiya’s forceful method of deflecting awkwardness.

After rounding a canyon bend, they discovered their path was blocked by an enormous boulder. Qiweiya, acting as the general for this expedition, promptly halted the troop.

William Turner, his hand resting on the longsword at his hip, smiled playfully. “Do you think we should try something interesting this time?”

Qiweiya rolled her eyes. “What you’re thinking, I already know. We can’t use any divine abilities against these demon ambushers~ So, no.”

William Turner pouted, his lips twitching with boredom. “Tsk~ How unfulfilling. I was really looking forward to showing off a bit.”

“Don’t even think about showing off. Be careful, or next time a lightning bolt from me will teach you what ‘showing off backfiring’ truly means.”

“Cough, cough.” William Turner rubbed his chin awkwardly. “How could that be? When did I ever say anything about showing off? Who just said that?”

“I’m done fooling around with you; it’s time for serious business! All troops, prepare for impact! Formation Two!” As she spoke, the purple greatsword she kept in her spatial storage appeared in her hand.

“You fools on the other side, take this slash!”

A colossal energy blade, capable of cleaving the heavens, erupted from the sword, instantly splitting the immense boulder, which had seemed like an impassable chasm, in two.

Qiweiya felt no surprise at the empty space beyond the now-cleared path.

*Crackle, boom, thud!* Qiweiya watched the assorted rocks tumble down from the canyon walls, raising her greatsword. “Hey! Aren’t you going to move? Be careful, or I’ll come play some mischievous games with you later~”

William Turner shivered. “Alright, alright! I’ll handle the ‘tofu’ up there~”

[Swift Sword Art: Suffocating Sky Veil]

His longsword flashed from its sheath, its afterimage dissipating. Impenetrable energy blades directly shattered the falling rock trap from the sky.

Qiweiya launched herself from her horse’s back, scaling the canyon wall with her feet, and surged to the top. As expected, she saw various demon ambushers hidden there.

*Boom!* Her greatsword plunged into the earth.

“When did you demons learn to scheme and plot? Weren’t you always just charging headfirst?”

“Human! You don’t need to concern yourself with such things. All you need to know is that you will die by my sword, Greylik’s!”

Greylik, a Dark Demon, roared and lunged forward, snatching up the massive lava greatsword at his side!

Qiweiya shrugged, kicking her greatsword, which had been embedded in the ground, into the air. The blade arced, deflecting the Dark Demon’s horizontal slash.

The clang of steel on steel reverberated through the enemy-filled canyon.

Qiweiya yawned. “Is that all you’ve got? Can I beg you to put a little more power into it? I seriously doubt you’ve even had enough to eat before coming out to fight~”

Greylik sneered. “You can be happy now, but you won’t be smiling for long! Prepare battlefield magic!”

Qiweiya watched, completely unperturbed, as powerful, multicolored spells rained down into the canyon below. “William Turner, aren’t you going to start working? Do I have to kick you to get you moving?”

Under Greylik’s stunned gaze, all the magic unleashed into the canyon was intercepted by the strange armored figure, dissipating into the very air.

William Turner appeared directly behind Qiweiya. “You’re having such a blast playing around by yourself, yet you make me do all the boring work? Don’t you think you owe me something?”

Qiweiya raised an eyebrow, speechless. “In that case, he’s all yours! Take your time, don’t die too quickly.”

“Got it, go do your thing.” Greylik watched the strange cloaked figure vanish from before him, only for the ‘iron-clad’ man to approach with clenching fists and a strange smile.

Qiweiya surveyed the dense ranks of two to three thousand demon ground troops before her, cracking her neck. “Seeing how many of you there are, I won’t bother taking you on one by one.”

Qiweiya leaped into the air. [Extreme Sword Art: Dike Break].

William Turner, who had been having a grand time nearby, watched in utter shock as a silver sword light plowed through the upper reaches of the canyon. Thousands of demon soldiers were thus mixed with dust and blood under Greylik’s anguished gaze. Seeing the indistinguishable mass of blood and soil, it was as if fresh, thin mud had just been churned out.

William Turner angrily pointed at Qiweiya. “Damn it! Didn’t you say no divine abilities? Why aren’t you playing by the rules?!”

Qiweiya looked at him, amused. “When did you ever see me use a divine ability? This is purely a sword art~ Oh, and don’t you think you should deal with your little snack over there?”

*Tsk.*

A flash of sword light, and the demon who had been the only one privy to the secret of a deity fighting was reduced to dust and returned to the earth.

****

After emerging from the canyon, Qiweiya looked at the deferential soldiers around her with a bored expression.

William Turner observed Qiweiya’s displeasure at the soldiers’ attitude. “Hey! Since you’ve already decided to protect these people on the battlefield with zero casualties, you should be prepared for this kind of treatment.”

Qiweiya glanced at the ever-flippant William Turner. “Of course, you heartless brute~ Don’t you think this is just too boring? It’s been so dull the whole way! Argh! I hate this!”

William Turner nudged her with his elbow. “Don’t you think it’s fun when these people are so proper and we can mess with them?”

With that, he cautiously walked behind a soldier. “Ahem, ahem!” The young soldier jumped, startled, seeing the general appear silently behind him, and after a moment of flustered scrambling, snapped to attention.

“What are your orders, General!” Qiweiya watched with an utterly comical expression.

William Turner, feigning seriousness, declared, “You~ yes, you! Go kiss your best buddy!” The soldier rubbed his ears, disbelieving. “What? General, did you really give that order?!”

“Yes, yes, yes! The pose should be like this, and make your expression natural, don’t be so stiff! I suggest you think of your Cuihua, or Xiaohong, or whoever! Exactly! That’s the expression! Good, good, good! Now, bring your lips closer! What the hell! Kiss! Do I need to help you?”

Qiweiya watched the two soldiers, who looked as though they might bang their heads on the ground in despair, covering her mouth to stifle her laughter. “You two, don’t listen to this guy’s orders anymore~ Pfft, go on, go back!”

William Turner returned to Qiweiya’s side, displeased. “Why did you stop them? It was clearly so much fun!”

Qiweiya looked at William Turner. “All I’ve seen from start to finish is your twisted sense of humor. However, I think if it were you, I’d definitely be immersed… I might even forget to return home~”

William Turner shivered, laughing dryly. “No, thank you. Personally, I think it’s best to remain single.”

Qiweiya pouted, bored. “How dull. Don’t you know how to make a little sacrifice to entertain the masses?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not noble enough to lose my chastity just to liven up the atmosphere!”