The Seeds of Desire

For a while, Ethan had stayed tucked in Ailein’s arms, but as the time drew near for the Duke to come and collect him, his mood darkened.

Why wasn’t he royalty? Why did he have to be separated from Ailein? It was one of the reasons Ethan desperately wanted to grow up quickly. To make matters worse, Ailein didn’t seem to share the same sense of melancholy about their parting, which left Ethan feeling neglected.

“I want to marry you soon, brother.”

Ailein merely smiled at Ethan’s pouting complaint. ‘Tch. I’m being serious.’ Although it was bitter that Ailein consistently dismissed his sincerity, Ethan found it impossible to actually hate him.

Feeling that if he stayed any longer, he truly wouldn’t be able to leave, Ethan finally pulled himself out of Ailein’s embrace.

“Brother, I’ll be going now.”

“Is that so? Would you like me to see you off?”

“……No, it’s fine.”

Ethan hesitated at Ailein’s offer but shook his head. He loved being with him, but he knew that the more Ailein did for him, the harder it would be to tear himself away.

With Ailein’s parting greetings behind him, Ethan stepped out of the Crown Prince’s palace. It was then that he encountered Chase, who was busy attending to his chores in the hallway.

Unlike himself, Chase spent all day with Ailein, living in the same palace. And now, Ailein didn’t even seem to dislike him anymore.

Ethan’s insides boiled with resentment. He, who was destined to be Ailein’s partner, couldn’t stay with him for long, yet the child of a criminal who had once tried to harm Ailein got to share so much time with him.

Fueled by anger, Ethan shouted at Chase, who was trying to walk past him.

“Hey!”

At the shout, Chase faltered, stopped, and turned around. Now that he was looking at him properly, Ethan peered slowly into his face.

He had expected the person who had lost his status as an Imperial Prince and was now reduced to a servant to tremble in fear or feel humiliation. But in reality, Ethan could find no such emotions on Chase’s face.

He looked merely indifferent, showing no emotion whatsoever. That, above all else, deeply annoyed Ethan.

“Don’t get the wrong idea.”

“…….”

“Brother only keeps you by his side because he pities you. It’s not because he has any real affection for you!”

At Ethan’s words, Chase’s calm eyes wavered. It was such a fleeting moment that he almost missed it, but Ethan caught it. The realization made Ethan’s face flush even redder with fury.

He found it intolerable that the son of a sinner dared to harbor such delusions.

No, perhaps it was actually because Ethan himself lacked confidence.

Even though Ailein cherished him for now, Ethan was plagued by the fear that if he kept Chase by his side, the order of Ailein’s affection might change. The fear of losing his place as Ailein’s “first” drove him to lash out at Chase even more viciously.

“I’m going to become an Alpha. I will become Brother’s only partner and his Empress!”

“…….”

“And when that happens, I will cast out someone like you so you can never come near his side again!”

Only Ethan would remain by Ailein’s side. Just as Ailein was the entirety of Ethan’s world, he would ensure Ailein’s world was painted entirely in his own image.

As Ethan shouted, Chase simply bowed his head and listened in silence. Perhaps softened by that submissive display, Ethan clicked his tongue with a haughty “Hmph” and turned away to leave the palace.

He walked away, completely unaware of what kind of seed his words had planted in Chase’s heart.

“……Alpha.”

Contrary to Ethan’s assumption, when Chase lifted his head, his eyes were not mired in despair or sorrow. He simply stared at the spot where Ethan had disappeared, his gaze holding an inscrutable glint.

“If I become an Alpha…….”

Would I not be abandoned? Chase, who had always been terrified that Ailein’s heart might change and he would be cast aside, found a hint in Ethan’s words.

If I become an Alpha, the partner gifted by the gods, would I no longer have to be afraid? If I, Chase, become an Alpha, then Ailein, as an Omega, would not be able to abandon me.

Left alone in the hallway, Chase fell into deep thought for a moment before lowering his gaze and walking on. A single, singular goal had been carved into his heart.

Ever since the day Ethan had broken into the Crown Prince’s palace, there had been no more unauthorized visits.

Of course, once his two-week ban was lifted, he started visiting nearly every single day.

‘At least he hasn’t bumped into Chase or caused any more trouble since that day.’

He simply treated Chase like he didn’t exist. He no longer interfered with or bullied him while he worked. Had he matured? Well, as long as they weren’t fighting, it was a good thing.

After all, in the original story, Ethan had steadily piled up his evil deeds against Chase.

‘And he suffered quite a horrible fate because of it.’

It really was a terrible fate. Whether it was because the original Chase had blackened, or because his rage lost its target after his despised rival disappeared, he became truly wicked in the latter half of the story.

Though it did act as a “cathartic” moment for the readers.

‘He suffered the one thing Ethan considered the most humiliating.’

Ethan believed that for a high-born noble like himself, the ultimate humiliation was being taken by a s*ave who had been demoted and stripped of his status. Having read Ethan’s thoughts, Chase forcibly took him and…….

Regardless, I had just skipped over that scene, but even after that, Chase kept Ethan from dying, subjecting him to humiliation again and again.

That incident, which must have been a huge shock to Ethan, had also been a massive shock to the readers of the original novel.

People complained: How could the main lead become the top? What about character collapse? This defies the settings! The comment section, which usually had very few people following along due to the extreme, erratic update schedule, had practically exploded that day.

Thanks to that, even I, who hadn’t properly read that scene, knew indirectly what kind of humiliation Ethan had suffered just by looking at the comments.

Anyway, as long as Ethan didn’t provoke Chase’s mood and just ignored him, Ethan would be safe—unlike in the original story.

‘Since I created everything, it’s my responsibility to tidy it up before I go.’

The hostility Ethan held toward Chase was something I had planted. In truth, if I hadn’t disliked him so much, Ethan would have had no reason to hate Chase.

They didn’t need to be close, but it would have been difficult for Ethan to be friendly with someone whom the cousin he adored despised. So, I thought the way they were getting along now wasn’t entirely bad.

Furthermore, there had been an even better development. Chase, who had always lived so quietly, asked me something one day.

“Your Highness.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“I…… may I go to the library?”

“The library?”

“Yes. There is something I wish to know…….”

Perhaps afraid that I would refuse him, he gripped the front of his clothes tightly with both hands. I glanced down at his hands, where the knuckles were turning white from the pressure, and nodded.

“Yes, you may even check them out under my name.”

Thinking about how much courage it must have taken for such a timid kid to make this request, I couldn’t bring myself to say no. Besides, it wasn’t an unreasonable request, and the desire to learn was a good sign.

I had been worried because he lived so quietly and helplessly, but hearing that he wanted to learn something made it sound like he had finally found some desire for life.

A person cannot develop without ambition or desire. It was still a distant future, but if I were to die, Chase would have no one left to look after him. Since there was no way he could survive in the Imperial Palace without me, I hoped he would learn something, or find something he wanted to do, so he could leave the palace before that happened.

‘Becoming a merchant would be good. I could pull some strings to help him up to a point. Or becoming a scholar wouldn’t be bad either. It would be nice for him to live buried in books, studying what he loves, away from the entanglements of politics.’

Whatever path Chase chose, I intended to help him as much as I could. Upon my permission, he bowed his head and thanked me.

Later, curious about what he had borrowed, I checked the books he had brought from the library. To my surprise, it was a history book.

And not just a summarized version, but a book detailing the history of the Empire from its very founding. It spanned over a thousand volumes, each one incredibly thick, and since the history of the Empire was still being written, it was a work that was never truly complete.

‘Why did he borrow this?’

Unlike the abridged versions, this book contained difficult terminology and, given how detailed it was, quite raw and explicit content for a young Chase. If he just wanted a general idea of history, a summary would have been easier to read, so why choose this? I couldn’t understand it, but it was awkward to ask. If I asked and he misunderstood, thinking I was spying on him, it might destroy the shred of trust he had in me.

‘Although, it’s probably already at rock bottom.’

Well, that couldn’t be helped. Everything was a sin caused by my past. I didn’t regret it. The Emperor must be shameless, and as someone raised to eventually become Emperor, I had to be devoid of regret.

So, I would not apologize. Instead, I would set things right as much as I could. That was the least I could do for the world I had loved.