A Bitter Farewell

Being cooped up in the hospital room made me bored and restless. Looking out the window, the weather was exceptionally clear today. I stretched my arms, twisted my body from side to side, and immersed myself in a full-body stretch.

I wanted to be discharged quickly. I longed to go home. When CEO Yang visited this morning, I voiced my impatience, but he told me to endure just one more day.

He said tomorrow would be a whirlwind of schedules, so I should consider today my last day of vacation.

I turned on the TV to watch a movie, caught up on webtoons I’d started, played games, and exchanged messages with acquaintances. Yet, for some reason, nothing brought me joy today.

Finally, I checked the message I had sent to Seo Junwon again.

There was no reply whatsoever.

I reassured myself that it was the right decision. I had quite liked him, and for a brief moment, I had even considered developing our relationship further.

It was a relief to realize this before things escalated. Comforting myself with this thought, I deleted even the last message I had sent him.

Smiling bitterly, I gazed out the window, watching an expensive foreign car pull into the parking lot. My eyes followed the vehicle.

Soon, the car stopped, and a man wearing a cap and tracksuit emerged from the driver’s seat. Even from a distance, his height was imposing, and his build appeared solid.

“Oh, no.”

Involuntarily, I recoiled from the window, taking a step back. Had I seen wrong? I craned my neck to confirm, and indeed, it was Seo Junwon.

He paced back and forth in front of the car, hands shoved into his pants pockets. He resembled an anxious animal trapped in a cage.

He took off his cap, ran a hand through his hair, then rubbed his face with both hands, before finally pulling something from his pocket.

What is he doing?

Before I could even ponder his behavior, my phone, resting on the bed, began to ring. Checking the caller ID, it was, predictably, Seo Junwon’s number.

After a moment of hesitation, I pressed the answer button and approached the window.

“Hello?”

The man, who had been restlessly moving, now stood motionless in front of his car.

[Inwoo… It’s me. Seo Junwon.]

His voice was utterly dejected. A frown creased Inwoo’s brow.

“Yes. What brings you here so early?”

[I received your message… I just wanted to talk for a moment….]

“Now?”

[Yes… Actually, I’m already in front of the hospital. I thought your room would be better than a crowded place.]

“Hmm…”

[Would it be… alright if I came up for a bit?]

His voice was thick with tension. I glanced down to see him leaning against his car, head bowed low.

Oh, seriously. Why is he like this? He’s making my heart waver.

[Ten minutes is all I need.]

“Alright. Come on up.”

After hanging up, I let out a small sigh. First, I went to the bathroom, washed my face, and tidied my slightly disheveled hair.

I forced a smile, meeting my own gaze in the mirror. Ending relationships with the people I’d met so far had never been difficult.

A simple, “Let’s stop seeing each other,” or “Goodbye,” usually prompted them to accept the breakup without issue. Like me, they were accustomed to casual encounters, enjoying themselves, and then parting ways without much fuss.

Exiting the bathroom, I settled onto the sofa and waited for Seo Junwon. However, no matter how long I waited, he showed no sign of arriving.

What is this man doing? Had he gone home?

Just then, a soft knock sounded at the door. The door soon opened, revealing Junwon.

“You’re here?”

“Yes…”

“Why are you so late?”

Junwon pressed his lips together. He had been so nervous, feeling as though his heart would leap from his chest, that he’d stopped at a pharmacy near the hospital.

He’d bought and swallowed one Cheongsimhwan, but when it didn’t calm him, he took another. Even so, his heart still pounded with the intensity of wanting to burst through his skin.

He had steeled himself to come up, but the moment he saw Inwoo, his legs felt like jelly. Inwoo appeared utterly composed, as if nothing had happened.

I was digging my own grave, wasn’t I? That message from earlier must have been genuine.

It felt like a final, fatal blow.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No… I’m fine.”

“Why? You look thirsty.”

“I’m fine…”

Though Inwoo offered him a seat, Seo Junwon seemed disinclined to take it.

“I didn’t expect you to come here.”

“Pardon?”

“Usually, when I say something like that, people understand.”

“……”

“I thought, Seo Junwon, you’re quite naive for your age. Unlike how you appear.”

Inwoo let out a small laugh. Junwon, who had kept his lips tightly sealed, finally spoke.

“Are you saying… what happened last night… should be forgotten?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Did I… last night… I mean… did I…”

Junwon repeatedly bit and released his lower lip. He found himself unable to voice the humiliating events of the previous night.

Why had he thought of Arong? Would it have been different if he’d mentioned gopchang, sundae, or chicken instead? No, that wasn’t it.

Judging by Lee Inwoo’s expression, it wasn’t because of that. Even someone as oblivious as him could tell that much.

“I… I thought… you might have some feelings for me, Inwoo.”

“I won’t say that’s untrue.”

“Then why… why are you doing this?”

“Hmm…”

“Was I… not good enough?”

Inwoo chuckled softly, shaking his head. Of course, he wasn’t good. No, to be precise, he was absolutely terrible.

Among all the s*x he’d ever had, Junwon was, without a doubt, the worst. And yet, Inwoo didn’t dislike it. His foolishly shy and smiling face wasn’t bad.

His actions, so unsuited to his large build, were even rather cute. As Dakyung had said, he might actually have developed feelings for him. That was the problem.

“It’s a shame. Just forget about it.”

“At least tell me why.”

Inwoo pondered for a moment before finding a different excuse. “Usually, I date people who are in the same ‘category’ as me.

There’s less chance of rumors, and we can meet and part ways easily, without any complications later. It’s the same for them. They don’t attach much meaning to these encounters.

They don’t get hung up on it. Frankly, it’s a scene where it wouldn’t be strange if the person who slept with me yesterday ended up with my friend today. But having met you, Junwon, I don’t think you’re that kind of person.”

Junwon’s face tightened rigidly.

“Is that kind of relationship… acceptable to you?”

“It’s not… acceptable.”

“You’re honest.”

“Is there… any other reason?”

“Hmm… I also dislike that you’re an athlete. If our relationship were to develop further, this would actually be quite important.

During the season, you’d be busy with games; during breaks, you’d be busy with training. If we grew closer, those things would become an issue.

I have no patience, I’m very fickle, and I get bored easily, you see.”

“Then… you shouldn’t have… done that to me in the first place.”

“I’m sorry about that. I made a mistake.”

The word “mistake” pierced his chest like a dagger. His clenched jaw tightened.

Junwon balled his fists, resting them on his thighs. After taking a deep breath, he spoke.

“If I weren’t an athlete, would things be different?”

“……”

“Tell me. Would they be different?”

“Perhaps a little?”

Junwon squeezed his eyes shut. Watching him, Inwoo rationalized his actions. This was better, even for Seo Junwon’s sake.

He might curse him for having “stepped in shit” and turn from a fan into an anti, but wasn’t that far better than being hurt later?

Seo Junwon stood before him like someone who had just been struck in the street. He would surely hate him intensely.

The thought of being hated by a man he had briefly felt an attraction for left a bitter taste.

“Do you have anything else to say?”

“No…”

“I’m sorry, Junwon.”

“No, don’t apologize… You weren’t forced, and I… I enjoyed it too…”

“……”

“Then… I’ll be going.”

He bowed politely, just as he had upon entering, and then exited the hospital room. Once the door closed, leaving him alone, Inwoo sighed, dropping his head.

I did the right thing. I did well.

Sighs and murmurs blended together. He lifted his head, gazing at the entrance.

A strange feeling washed over him. It felt as though Seo Junwon would open the door and walk back in.

Ah, how annoying.

He shook off the feeling, rose, and walked to the window. The sky was flawlessly clear, yet dark clouds gathered heavily within his heart.

Junwon sat hunched on the toilet, his large frame unmoving, face buried in his palms. Footsteps and muffled voices could be heard from outside.

The sound of hands being washed. Conversations about how long until discharge, and estimates for the hospital bill.

A moment later, a knock sounded at the door. Junwon squeezed out a voice that barely emerged.

“Someone’s in here…”

As expected, his voice was mournful and cracked. He heard voices again, then silence fell.

He lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot. He pressed his palms against his eyelids.

The moment he stepped out of the hospital room, tears had burst forth.

With so many eyes watching, he couldn’t even cry. He pressed himself against the corner of the elevator, turning his back to descend to the first floor.

After that, he sought out a restroom. As soon as he entered any available stall and sat down, tears streamed down endlessly, like a broken faucet.

He tore off tissue paper, wiping and wiping, but it was useless. He remained seated until he was certain no one else was present, then emerged.

Approaching the sink, he looked in the mirror to find his face a mess. He turned on the water, scrubbed his face vigorously, then tore off a hand towel to dry himself.

Seeing his reflection in the mirror, tears threatened to well up again. What grand reason had he expected to hear, chasing after Inwoo all the way here?

Perhaps this had all been predetermined. Inwoo was never someone he could handle in the first place.

To say, “A one-time encounter is fine,” or “It’s fine if you sleep with my friend the day after meeting me.” He could never, ever utter those words.

Therefore, this ending wasn’t solely Lee Inwoo’s fault. Even amidst his pain, he hated himself for rationalizing Lee Inwoo’s actions.

If he could, he would rip out all these feelings and crumple them into the restroom’s trash bin. Again, sorrow welled up, and tears threatened to fall.

“Of course he’d say he disliked me… acting like such an idiot.”

He mumbled, pulling his cap low over his eyes. Swallowing his tears with effort, he exited the restroom.

As he headed towards the exit, he spotted Inwoo’s manager. He hid for a moment, and once she disappeared, he immediately left the hospital.

The weather was incredibly beautiful, but his heart felt like utter hell.