The Hamster and the Charm Skill

“Oh, I forgot. What’s your name?”

“Uh… sigh. You certainly ask quickly.”

“Just call me whatever. Those guys call me Sir Haut.”

“Is that not your real name?”

“It seems they can’t recognize it because it’s not a term from this world. No matter how many times I tell them my name, they just don’t get it.”

I rarely had to go around saying my name; they just recognized it automatically. I tried saying it a few times while traveling, but they’d just ask again with horrified expressions. Then they’d clean their ears with vacant stares. It seems they truly couldn’t understand.

‘The phrase ‘I Want to Bang Faust’ isn’t even difficult.’

‘Or perhaps my pronunciation is strange? Ever since the system malfunctioned and glitched, I haven’t been able to use my name, despite having one.’

The individual holding my face spoke, sounding utterly dumbfounded.

“You’re not human, are you?”

“I’ve told you countless times, I am indeed a human male. I’ve just been around for a little bit longer than most. If you don’t like Haut, then Lalabel, Damon, Veronica, what… even something like Macaroni or Ham Sandwich would be fine.”

“Still, calling yourself ‘Ham Sandwich’ for your own name seems a bit much, doesn’t it?”

“Or perhaps ‘General’s Reduced Earth Technique’ or ‘Warm Iced Americano’ wouldn’t be bad either?”

“Well… alright, Mr. Haut. Shall we send those guys out and pick up where we left off?”

‘Was this person deaf? He wasn’t answering my question, just rambling on about his own thoughts.’ I grumbled, pushing him away.

“I asked what your name is.”

“You can just call me Nocturne, then.”

‘Why was he being so troublesome?’ I effortlessly lifted the clinging person and set him down. Nocturne struggled and thrashed to resist, but it was futile. How could someone less significant than a cookie crumb possibly contend with me, even if they exerted a little strength?

“No, seriously, can we just leave them there?! Catch them and hand them over already!”

“Why did you just barge in without knocking? And yelling so loudly at night.”

“You were careless enough not to lock the door yourself, weren’t you?”

“Why bother locking the door? No one’s coming in anyway.”

“Then what about them?!”

“Hmm, they’re like hamsters, I suppose. They want to steal my sunflower seeds. And since they came in through the window, locking the door wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”

Having nowhere else to put him, I simply set him on the floor. Nocturne, looking utterly crestfallen like the owner of a failed hotteok stand, sat down and gazed up at me, interjecting.

“Excuse me, Mr. Haut? Did I really say anything that bad?”

“Haven’t your words so far been exactly that? Saying you wanted to make a quick fortune?”

“I thought you were listening quite well up until now.”

“Nonsense is fine if it’s amusing. That’s just my philosophy.”

Having played games for so many years, how could I not recognize someone who’d stab me in the back? I could gauge their intentions just by listening to their casual remarks.

Still, this was a new experience, and it seemed amusing, so I let them do as they pleased. I’d continuously thought it was strange, but if such complex conditions were required, then it seemed plausible. If it was a hidden quest that only appeared after the creating organization reached its peak and then collapsed, it could certainly exist.

After all, this game was always unpredictable.

“Speaking of which, didn’t you say you had something to tell me?”

“Sir Haut, what are you going to do about him?”

Faust gestured towards Nocturne, his face filled with bewilderment. I merely shrugged my shoulders with an air of nonchalance.

“I’ll just leave him be. He’ll probably leave on his own once he’s had his fill. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

“Is that truly… alright?”

“You guys are so cute.”

I replied with a bright smile, but the faces of the three of them soured instantly, as if they had chewed on a bitter gourd.

From now on, I decided to just gloss over whatever happened.

It was tiring to think. Even for an old game, sometimes things would pop up that made me wonder, ‘Was this always here?’

Who would have known that if you gave bread daily to an old woman begging in front of the temple for a thousand in-game days, players could learn the Charm skill?

She was an unnamed elderly NPC who wouldn’t die, so everyone suspected there was something to her, but no one ever figured it out. She didn’t even offer the meager blessing a beggar typically would. On top of that, she talked so much that she’d ramble for hours of in-game time, making escape impossible.

Who gave that old woman bread every single day? I did.

When I posted proof on the game forum, it caused an uproar. Everyone was saying, “That lunatic is doing weird stuff again! How did they even manage that?”

Hey, who are you calling a lunatic? I just enjoy the game in a wholesome, casual way!

Until then, everyone only knew that NPCs and demons had the Charm skill, but no one realized players could use it. At first, inspired by my post, everyone tried it, but they quickly laughed it off and gave up, saying that “lunatics shouldn’t be followed carelessly.” It turned out to be utterly useless for all the effort involved.

Even without such a skill, there were too many alternatives: high charm stats, rhetoric, and showering targets with gifts.

Furthermore, using the Charm skill would temporarily decrease affection after it wore off, making it practically useless. It was only good for momentarily enchanting someone you’d never see again.

It wouldn’t work if the target had high magic resistance, exceptionally high evil alignment, or even slightly higher holy alignment proportional to the skill level. It also didn’t work well on those with high prestige, as they had a certain “dignity” to uphold.

Of course, I could charm anyone. No NPC had better stats than me, and my skill level was maxed out. I never had any use for it, though. Why would I bother charming a mere NPC? If I needed someone out of the way for a moment, I’d just assassinate them.

As an aside, you couldn’t give her money. If you gave her more than 100 gold for several consecutive days, the old woman would get robbed and beaten to death by local ruffians.

At first, I didn’t know why she kept dying, so I reloaded five times. It was only after repeatedly following her that I finally discovered the truth.

She’d typically say something like, ‘Why is such a kind young man (or lady) traveling alone, paying attention to an old woman like me?’ then proceed to teach you. You could think of it as an elder giving you a lecture on romance. This part was automatically skippable. After about two hours of this ‘attribute lecture,’ the old woman would leave and never reappear.

I haven’t found her since. After that, I had to raise the skill level on my own. I used a wizard companion to ‘skill grind’ before, meaning I leveled up the skill. Their high magic resistance made them great for gaining experience. Even though they were an NPC, I felt like I tormented them too much, so I handed over the position of Archmage to them. I wonder if they’re still alive?

If I ever go to the capital later, I should stop by and check.

“Hey, we were actually angry just now. Did you notice?”

“You’re the only ones who worry about me. Usually, people just wait until I die, then rummage through my body to see if there’s anything to loot.”

“I don’t know what it is, but… what on earth is going on with your life?”

“A fun life? It’s fine. Right now, I couldn’t die even if I wanted to. There’s nothing that can kill me.”

As a beginner, it’s fine, but at higher levels, there’s a certain chance of losing items upon death. For high-grade items and above, at least a quest to retrieve them might appear, but for lower-grade items, even named ones, there’s no indicator. You just have to search every corner of the world. Usually, when it gets to that point, people just give up and either cheat to spawn them, duplicate them, or acquire new ones.

If things are truly dire, they’ll just load a previous save. If you play for as long as I have and get used to it, you rarely die. Even if you do lose something, you become adept at finding it and quickly retrieve it.

“Except for the leaders.”

My words made the others wear strange expressions again. Only Nocturne, sprawling on the floor, stared blankly. Nocturne probably wasn’t his real name either, but I didn’t particularly care to find out.

‘Was he also an early-game data character? Why was he so weak?’

“Ah, I see you’re a multi-playthrough bonus quest character.”

“Uh, Mr. Haut? Could you please speak in a way I can understand? Because I don’t get any of it.”

“I was talking about you, but it wasn’t a question that required your answer. It’s fine if you don’t understand.”

At this rate, I feel like the system won’t be fixed until I’m forcibly logged out. I don’t want to get too immersed, but I’m forced to have these world-building conversations. It’s a bit annoying.

“Just wash up and go to sleep. The bathroom’s over there, and you can just use the bed.”

“Didn’t you just brush off my attempt at seduction?”

“I’m just imitating others so they don’t feel out of place if I don’t act like them. I don’t actually need to sleep. Don’t worry about it. Someone as frail as you would be too bothersome to kill anyway.”

Every game has special perks for those who play it many times and for a long duration. It’s a kind of fan service, a way to ask players not to forget it. Things like special items, interesting quests, awesome spaces, or unique productions. If a quest only activates after a thousand years of in-game time, that’s certainly sufficient service.

Or perhaps I just hadn’t met the conditions until now. Well, at this point, it didn’t really matter.

“This playthrough is quite different from the others, which is fun. There are plenty of cute kids, too. A greedy hamster isn’t my type, but it’s been a while, so it brings back memories, and I like that.”

“Mr. Haut, am I… that hamster?”

“Who else but you? You have patchy hair, you rustle, you ramble on with grand nonsense but have no substance, and you try to shove things into your cheeks until they’re bursting. And you’re so fragile you’d probably crumble if I held you wrong. It’s all the same.”

“I am human, you know?”

“I know you’re human. Did you think I didn’t, and that’s why you told me?”

“Excuse me, is this human always like this?”

‘It’s just that kind of game.’ What a magical phrase. Thinking that way made everything alright. What would come of arguing anyway?

Our Bebe is already dead, and while this person seems connected, he’s evil-aligned, so he’ll probably just follow for a bit and then leave.

Nocturne pointed at me in disbelief, asking Jack and Faust. The two glanced at me, then subtly nodded. Jack went a step further, whispering, ‘It’ll just give you a headache if you worry about it.’

“If you have something to say, say it quickly and then go. I’ve suddenly become too annoyed to listen for long.”

“What can one possibly say in this situation?”

“If you have nothing to say, then go to sleep. Though I’m sure it would just be useless chatter anyway.”

They always asked the same things: Who are you? What are you doing? What’s your real purpose? I could only ever give one consistent answer.

“Even if you ask me to explain the obvious, I don’t know how.”

Everything was obvious. Inventory? How to read the terrain? How to hunt monsters? Abundant resources? These were things anyone who played a game for a long time, even casually, couldn’t help but learn.

“I haven’t become stagnant or rotten.”

What are you doing? Why aren’t you going to sleep? The two looked like they had a lot more to say, but they eventually left.

It was nothing important. I simply grabbed the confused Nocturne by the scruff of his neck and pushed him into the bathroom. Then, I pulled out my greatsword.

‘No, this is a rented room, so sticking a sword into the floor might be a bit much, right?’ I put it away again and dragged a chair to the window.

The individuals outside must have been truly diligent. They were still there. They’d get soaked if they stayed out all night.

“Tomorrow, I’ll enchant. The day after, I’ll craft. The day after that, I’ll enhance…”

After contemplating what to do, I roughly opened the sleep window and set the time. I seemed to faintly sense movement from the bathroom for a moment. How strange. The sleep setting had no other function besides time skip. It must have been my imagination, right?