Chapter 11: Second month of broadcasting-2

With a pounding heart, I took out my phone and searched for information. I had only heard that such an incident had occurred, but I didn’t know exactly how it was progressing, so I went to a community forum I often used.

The first page was covered with content about that person, no.

That trash.

It was definitely a big issue.

I almost unconsciously clicked on the post with the most recommendations, but I stopped.

I muttered quietly.

“Even if it’s really the cat I know, what can I do?”

My anger cooled.

And I became afraid.

Even if it was the cat I knew, what was I going to do?

What could I do?

Should I just stop caring now?

I glared at my phone, put it away, and remained silent.

Right, what was I going to do by looking it up?

I mocked myself and buried my face in my knees.

I was so powerless that I couldn’t do anything.

Then there was no need to look it up, right?

Something felt nauseating.

Was I being selfish?

Was it selfish of me to not want to feel that powerlessness of not being able to do anything?

I knew that even if it was that cat, no one would blame me.

I wasn’t selfish.

It wasn’t my problem.

“Still…”

I bit my lip and picked up my phone.

But, shouldn’t I at least check?

The probability that it was the cat I knew was almost zero.

The reason that cat seemed familiar was probably because it had a common appearance.

The person who took it had a different face, too.

I tried to reassure myself.

If there was a reason why I was trying to look this up now, it was probably for self-satisfaction.

I wanted to confirm that it wasn’t the cat I knew and put my mind at ease.

I wanted to believe that the cat I knew was living well somewhere.

“Yeah.”

I nodded slowly, agreeing with my thoughts, and opened the post.

The post summarized the content of that trash’s video.

Fortunately, it had the content I wanted.

‘Kkami’s’ first video.

Ten months ago.

Just by seeing this, I could relax. The cat I knew was from a year ago.

“Phew… What…”

I felt silly for worrying.

Yeah, there’s no way it’s the same cat.

There was nothing more to see, but I was possessed and slowly read the post.

Was it because I had given affection to a cat before?

Or was it human anger?

Whatever it was, the fact that I was angry about this incident didn’t change.

I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t found out but now that I did.

Emotions weren’t something that could be controlled at will.

The first video was very mild.

It was just a video of adopting a cat that an acquaintance’s daughter had picked up from the street without a sense of responsibility.

There was no cursing, and the cat’s condition was good.

The second cat video that followed was also mild.

However, as the post said, the number of subscribers started to increase from a certain video.

The third cat’s first video was ‘Rescued a cat with amputated hind legs.’

The fourth cat’s first video was ‘Rescued a cat that was abused and burned.’

He made such provocative videos.

If it were just rescue videos, things wouldn’t have gotten this far.

According to the manager and editor’s testimony, the act of amputating the cat’s hind legs with scissors and burning the cat’s face with a lighter was committed by none other than the trash himself.

And he shamelessly used it to make money by creating a fake story.

It was so disgusting that I couldn’t read the post anymore.

How could he wear the mask of an animal lover after doing such a thing?

How could he pretend to be a good person?

“He’s really trash…”

My heart felt heavy.

And on the other hand, it felt light.

How should I describe this duality?

Relief that it wasn’t the cat I knew, but anger at the trashy acts that had taken place.

I sighed deeply and scrolled back to look at the first cat again.

“It does look similar… But still, it’s not the same.”

Now that I looked at it again, the fur color seemed a little different.

Besides, the cat I knew didn’t meow like that.

“Hmm…”

How did it meow?

“Meow? Me~ow?”

I tried to imitate it, but I couldn’t reproduce that subtle meow.

Anyway, it meowed longer.

It never meowed in short bursts like in the video.

It was almost certain that it wasn’t the cat I knew.

But why did I still feel uneasy?

I wasn’t relieved.

Was this also caused by the unpleasantness of the incident?

If I felt relieved after reading this, that would be even stranger.

I convinced myself and went back to the beginning of the post.

And I played the first video I had just watched.

Even after watching it again, it still seemed a little different.

…

No.

“Wait a minute.”

I felt something strange.

I rewatched Kkami’s first video from the beginning.

It was a rainy day.

The trash received the cat, came home, and unfolded the umbrella to dry it. The cat jumped into it.

As if it was its place.

It looked up at the trash and curled up inside the umbrella.

“…Huh?”

I hurriedly looked for other videos featuring Kkami.

The videos on YouTube were all taken down, but there were channels that had archived them.

“This one too… And this one…?”

Even when it wasn’t raining, the cat curled up next to an umbrella.

Did it like umbrellas?

Was it a coincidence?

– Our Kkami really likes umbrellas, haha…

The trash’s unpleasant voice seemed to confirm my thoughts.

No, there’s no way, right?

With trembling hands, I rewatched the video.

I must have seen it wrong.

I hadn’t been sleeping well lately.

I must have seen it wrong.

It had to be a mistake.

Play again.

But the scene didn’t change.

“…Haha.”

I must be tired lately.

To see things like this.

The fur color was different, and the meow was different.

There’s no way.

No.

It can’t be.

“This can’t be happening…?”

No.

No.

No.

I bit my lip until it bled.

A coppery taste and smell.

Blood dripped onto the keyboard.

But I didn’t care.

I denied it.

Yeah, it must be a misunderstanding.

It could just be a cat that liked umbrellas.

In this unbelievable, unacceptable situation, my usually suppressed emotions fluctuated.

Once again, with trembling hands, I played the first video.

Yeah, if I watched that, it would become clear.

More closely, with wide eyes.

5:13.

No.

5:43?

No.

5:53.

Found it.

The part where he received the cat.

The face wasn’t shown, but I remembered that voice.

– Please take good care of our Kkami…

It was mixed with sobs, but I recalled the voice I remembered.

[Thank you, really.]

It was similar.

– My mother doesn’t like cats…

[It was in good condition for a stray cat.]

It was really similar.

– I’m sorry…

[I knew someone was taking care of it.]

…It was exactly the same.

How could this be?

Like this?

It was definitely that girl.

“No…”

If she was going to take it, why did she do that.

If she couldn’t take responsibility, why did she step in.

Even if she couldn’t, she could have entrusted it to someone else…

Why did it turn out like this…?

Was it my fault?

Was it my fault again?

“Th..is..!”

This can’t be happening!

I wanted it to meet someone better than me!

That’s why I gave up!

I didn’t want this!

“F*cking…”

I cursed and slammed my head on the keyboard.

Bang-bang!

Some keys fell off.

I felt like crying.

I wanted to scream.

But something was blocking my throat.

Guilt, regret, and lingering feelings didn’t allow me to scream.

“I wanted it to meet someone better than me…”

That’s why I let go of my attachment.

I didn’t want this outcome.

I wanted it to live happily.

“This really can’t be happening…?”

Right?

Huh?

Please…

“It’s just my misunderstanding, right? I’m misunderstanding, right?”

I mumbled like a madman, but now I remembered it clearly.

That unique pattern, the voice of the rich girl who took it, and the way it curled up inside the umbrella.

The difference in fur color was just a difference in lighting.

Stupidly, I realized it only now.

“Again…! Again! F*ck….”

It’s my fault again!

I should have taken it!

I should have been stubborn.

I shouldn’t have given up so easily just because she looked well-dressed and rich.

It was my fault.

Crack- My lip burst.

Blood flowed.

“I’ll find it…”

They said that trash abandoned it.

Then I would find it.

And start over from the beginning.

It would hate me.

Because I practically sent it to that hell.

But that was a problem I had to bear.

The trash’s abandonment was clearly captured on video and documented in writing.

The location was shown.

It was far, but I couldn’t give up because it was far.

“…Let’s go.”

I put on my coat and left the house.