The Year-End Gathering

B University actively responded to policy and did not allow students to celebrate Christmas on campus.

But what holiday people celebrated wasn’t really the point.

The point was that students wanted to steal a little free time away from early morning classes and endless papers.

So it didn’t matter what festival it was—having a break and going out to have fun was what truly mattered.

At the end of December, the second snowfall arrived in B City.

The campus was covered in white.

The university didn’t strictly control students from the English department.

Students secretly bought small colorful lights and miniature Christmas trees and placed them in the classroom, breaking the rules together with their teaching assistants.

Xu Shuche received a bag of Christmas candy from his undergraduate teaching assistant.

He couldn’t finish it all himself.

So he brought it to the research room where the group meeting was held.

After all, everyone had worked hard for three months.

Sharing some candy could count as encouragement.

But he didn’t expect that the moment he opened the door to the research room, he would be stunned by the lively discussion inside.

Usually everyone pretended to be calm and reliable.

But in reality they were still students.

When they finally found a legitimate opportunity to slack off, they naturally didn’t want to let it pass.

Everyone had gathered together to discuss where they should go for a Christmas weekend group outing.

“Last Christmas I was preparing for graduate school exams.”

A girl with red highlights tore open a bag of chips and complained loudly.

“So annoying.”

“If I don’t party all night this Christmas, I’ll be betraying the version of myself who was memorizing Xiao Si in the freezing wind last year.”

“Well said!”

Her heroic declaration immediately received enthusiastic support from everyone else.

People opened their phone maps, trying to find somewhere they could stay out all night.

But the entertainment options of modern university students were actually quite limited.

After racking their brains and looking around, they ultimately came up with the same old suggestion:

Eat first, then go to karaoke.

Xu Shuche walked in at that moment.

He was still holding the bag of Russian candies his teaching assistant had given him.

Seven or eight people were arguing fiercely about whether to eat buffet, barbecue, or hotpot for Christmas.

The moment he stepped in, everyone looked at him like he was a savior.

“Senior, you’re here.”

Guan Jingshan put down his phone and greeted him.

“We’re planning a group outing for Christmas.”

“Everyone has worked hard all year.”

“But we can’t decide where to go.”

“Senior, do you have any ideas?”

Xu Shuche adjusted his glasses and coughed lightly.

“I… don’t really know much about these things.”

“Sui Xiang suggested going to a party house.”

Guan Jingshan pointed at the red-haired girl.

“But some people don’t want to go to a party house and would rather eat barbecue.”

“That’s why everyone started arguing.”

Sui Xiang snorted.

“I think the group leader and the deputy leader should just decide where we’re going.”

“Then the rest of us can vote by raising our hands.”

“What do you think?”

Everyone quickly agreed.

It sounded like the fairest suggestion.

“So, senior.”

“Where would you like to go for the group outing?”

Guan Jingshan looked at Xu Shuche.

“It’s okay.”

“Wherever you want to go is fine.”

“We…”

Xu Shuche looked awkwardly at the expectant faces in front of him.

He didn’t know what to say.

Actually, he didn’t really want to join the group outing.

During the end of the first semester of his senior year in high school, their class had also organized a New Year gathering.

At that time, the fact that Xu Shuche was gay had already been spread throughout the entire grade by Wang Shimei’s group.

In addition, he was carrying a disciplinary record.

So all of his classmates avoided him.

He thought he wouldn’t be invited to any collective activities like that.

But on December 29th after school, a boy from the class who had never liked him walked up to his desk.

His tone was rude.

“Hey, Xu Shuche.”

Xu Shuche was packing his bag.

When he heard his name, he looked up.

The moment he saw the boy’s fierce and contemptuous eyes, he instinctively shrank back slightly.

“Are you afraid of me?”

The boy sneered and waved his hand in front of his nose as if trying to disperse some unbearable smell.

“Why are you afraid of me?”

“I’m the one who should be afraid you’ll infect me and turn me gay.”

Xu Shuche’s eyes darkened.

He lowered his head out of habit and sped up packing his bag, hoping to escape before the boy said something even worse.

“I’m talking to you.”

The boy clicked his tongue impatiently and muttered.

“People don’t even look up when someone talks to them.”

“So rude.”

“Do you need something?”

Xu Shuche tried to keep his voice steady.

“If not, I’m leaving.”

“Hey, don’t go yet.”

The boy grabbed his shoulder and smiled mischievously.

“Can’t even take a joke?”

“You…”

“Are you free on the 31st?”

Even though he phrased it like a question, he clearly wasn’t asking for Xu Shuche’s opinion.

He was simply announcing it.

“Our class is going to a karaoke place for New Year’s Eve.”

“Are you coming?”

Xu Shuche looked at him in disbelief.

He had never expected the class would invite him to such an event.

“Really?”

“Believe it or not.”

The boy threw a slip of paper with an address written on it onto his desk.

“Come if you want.”

“Or don’t.”

Xu Shuche believed it was a sign that his relationship with his classmates might finally be improving.

So on the 31st he followed the address on the paper to that karaoke bar.

But in the alley next to it—

“Xu Shuche.”

“So you actually came.”

Wang Shimei stood there with a cigarette in his mouth.

He pushed Xu Shuche deeper into the alley.

“You don’t seriously think anyone would want to hang out with you after offending me, do you?”

It was just an ordinary alley.

But in Xu Shuche’s memory, it felt endlessly dark.

He was pushed down onto his knees.

His instinct for survival made him crawl toward the faint light at the entrance of the alley.

But it seemed like he could never reach it.

The burning pain of a cigarette pressing against his arm—

Xu Shuche instinctively raised his hand to touch it.

Then he heard Guan Jingshan’s concerned voice.

“Senior Xu?”

Xu Shuche suddenly snapped back to reality.

He forced a small smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“We were talking about the group outing location.”

Sui Xiang explained.

“Right now it’s between hotpot and a party house.”

“Then…”

Xu Shuche didn’t want to attend the outing.

But he also didn’t want to ruin everyone’s enthusiasm.

“So how about this.”

“We go to a party house.”

“And cook hotpot there.”

“That should work, right?”

“Senior is so smart!”

The person who originally suggested hotpot slammed the table excitedly.

“Why didn’t we think of that?”

“That’s why he’s the senior.”

Sui Xiang laughed.

“You guys should learn from him.”

“Thinking about things as only black or white isn’t good.”

Everyone started chatting and joking again.

Xu Shuche tightened his grip on the candy bag in his pocket and quietly let out a breath.

Guan Jingshan stepped outside to answer a phone call.

Feng Zhou had been sitting quietly watching the group.

Now he slowly walked over to Xu Shuche.

“You’re not planning to go, are you?”

Xu Shuche froze.

He instinctively shook his head.

“No… I actually…”

“I can tell.”

Feng Zhou smiled slightly.

“Because I used to be like that too.”

He paused and lowered his voice.

“I’m not trying to morally pressure you.”

“I just think you’re similar to how I used to be.”

“You assume people look down on you or want to trick you.”

“So you think they wouldn’t invite you sincerely.”

Xu Shuche opened his mouth.

But he couldn’t say the rebuttal he had prepared.

Because Feng Zhou was right.

For a moment, Xu Shuche even wanted to ask what Feng Zhou had experienced before.

Had he also been called disgusting?

Had he also been tricked into an alley and humiliated?

“But I think the people in this group really do like you.”

Feng Zhou blinked at him.

“Why not give it a try?”

“Senior?”

“I…”

Xu Shuche wanted to say he would think about it.

But before he could finish speaking, Sui Xiang suddenly looked up at him.

“Leader.”

“Saturday at four in the afternoon.”

“No problem, right?”

In the end, Xu Shuche still didn’t give a definite answer.

His excuse was that his advisor might need him for something.

That evening, snow began falling again in B City.

The electrical wiring in the old residential building was poor.

The hallway lights flickered constantly.

It looked exactly like a horror movie effect.

Xu Shuche walked up the stairs step by step.

His mind was full of Feng Zhou’s words from earlier that day.

Should he try it?

What if… what if…

He knew the thought sounded ridiculous.

Like a paranoia that the entire world wanted to hurt him.

If he said it out loud, people would probably laugh at him.

But it was difficult not to think that way.

Back in his senior year of high school, every phrase like “the teacher wants to see you,” “let’s hang out this weekend,” or “someone is looking for you” meant another trap waiting to humiliate him.

And so he had become the person he was now.

Xu Shuche reached the corridor of his rented apartment.

He turned around and looked behind him.

The stairwell was completely dark.

The motion-sensor light had already turned off.

Nothing could be seen.

Yet he clearly felt a chill run down his spine.

It felt as if he were prey being watched.

The thought suddenly filled him with panic.

He hurried up the remaining steps, took out his key, and prepared to open the door.

Then his movement suddenly froze.

Several more cigarette butts had appeared on the doormat outside his door.

The same cheap brand again.

The kind that cost five yuan per pack.

Why would someone stand outside his door smoking?

Was it the same person from last night?

Xu Shuche didn’t dare think about it further.

JuJu had sent him several links the night before.

Some were for security cameras.

Others were for pepper spray sold secretly by online shops.

He ordered all of them immediately.

But the earliest delivery date would be after New Year’s Day.

The door slammed shut behind him with a loud bang.

Xu Shuche nearly collapsed from exhaustion as he stumbled into the room.

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

He turned on the entrance light.

The warm yellow glow dispelled some of the darkness in the room.

【Just Thinking】: Guys~ friends~ can we choose this party house please~

【Jian】: ? What party house? Why don’t I know about this?

【Just Thinking】: The New Year group outing party house. We’ll stay until the first day of the new year ends, Deputy Leader.

【Jian】: Not going. Need to practice basketball.

【Zeno’s Turtle】: What kind of team practices basketball on New Year’s Eve?

【Jian】: Feng Zhou, you’re going too?

【Zeno’s Turtle】: Why not?

【Jian】: Then who else isn’t going? Don’t tell me I’m the only one.

【Jian】: I’m definitely not going.

【Zeno’s Turtle】: Senior Xu seems busy. He probably won’t go either.

Xu Shuche sat on the floor near the entrance, holding his phone.

Suddenly he felt the dark shadow that had been following him all day slowly disappear.

Jian Yixun wasn’t going…

He pressed his lips together and carefully typed a message.

“I just asked my advisor.”

“I have the day off.”

“I’ll go.”

After sending the message, he let out a long breath.

His heart felt much steadier.

Just try it.

Besides…

His home didn’t seem very safe recently.

It might be better to stay somewhere else for a couple of days until the security camera arrived.

Xu Shuche convinced himself of this and slowly stood up.

Just then his phone vibrated again in his hand.

【Jian】: @Zeno’s Turtle Actually, I take back what I just said.

【Jian】: What basketball practice?

【Jian】: Group outings are obviously more important.