The Heartbeat Under the Palm

Chu Nian sat back in the car, his mind in complete disarray.

He couldn’t even remember exactly how Lu Jinnian had whisked him into the vehicle. Outside, the neon lights of the dark night flashed by—a blur of ungraspable light and shadow that only further tangled his already troubled thoughts.

The interior of the car was quiet. Lu Jinnian was never one to initiate conversation, and Zhou Ze, sitting in the front, was equally a man of few words.

Chu Nian stole a glance at Lu Jinnian, who was sitting by the opposite door as usual. One of Lu Jinnian’s hands rested on the door handle as he stared ahead. His eyes were always indifferent, like ancient, unmelting snow, perhaps even deeper and more somber than the night outside.

However, right now, he seemed to be in a good mood. A faint smile played at the corners of his mouth—one he might not even have noticed himself—softening his icy features.

Chu Nian frowned almost imperceptibly, unintentionally falling into a daze as he stared at Lu Jinnian’s profile. If gazes could manifest into physical force, he probably would have pressed that smile right off Lu Jinnian’s face.

He didn’t quite know how to describe the feeling, but in common terms: Lu Jinnian had changed.

He had changed so much that Chu Nian felt lost.

The old Lu Jinnian wouldn’t smile at him, wouldn’t stop him from doing things or meeting people, wouldn’t be gentle or try to make him happy, and certainly wouldn’t show a jealous expression like he had just now.

Their relationship was strictly governed by the contract—there was nothing else.

When did the Lu Jinnian who ignored him and treated him like he was transparent start to change?

Chu Nian bit his lower lip, his nails unconsciously digging into the leather seat.

[Staring at me for so long… Wife, are you really that unable to resist my charm?]

[Look all you want. Look at your handsome husband as much as you like.]

The jubilant voice skipped into Chu Nian’s ears.

Chu Nian stiffened. He realized he had been caught staring; the man’s lips twitched as if he were struggling to suppress an explosion of joy.

Chu Nian quickly looked away, terrified of fueling Lu Jinnian’s delusions any further. He turned his head to look out the window.

The inner voices.

It seemed that ever since he could hear them, Lu Jinnian had become incredibly strange.

Chu Nian lowered his eyes, his long, thick lashes veiling his gaze.

Wait, that’s not right…

When he first gained the ability to read minds, Lu Jinnian had acted exactly the same as always. It was just that Chu Nian was so disturbed by the voices that he projected that strangeness onto Lu Jinnian.

Which meant…

Chu Nian realized something.

Lu Jinnian had always had these inexplicable psychological activities…

All that “loving his wife,” “liking his wife,” and “his wife being the cutest”…

So, in the past, when Lu Jinnian stared at him with a stony face, refused him with a frown, or looked at him with cold indifference… was he actually thinking that the whole time?!!!

This wasn’t something that started when Chu Nian gained his ability. It was much earlier. Even back when he couldn’t read minds.

“I like Chu Nian.”

The sentence he had overheard at the restaurant door echoed in his mind again, his theory finally finding its confirmation.

His heart hammered violently against his ribs. The car’s air conditioning blasted over his exposed skin, but it couldn’t cool the burning heat spreading through his body.

Suddenly, he whipped his head around, catching Lu Jinnian’s gaze before the man could retract it. Lu Jinnian froze for a few seconds, a flash of panic crossing his eyes as his pupils darted around, before he finally gave in to the inevitable.

Lu Jinnian stared at Chu Nian. He forced back the remaining smile, replacing it with his usual “do not disturb” expression. But what he couldn’t see was that the fire in his dark eyes—a heat so intense it threatened to swallow Chu Nian whole—was impossible to hide.

Chu Nian realized he had never looked so intently into Lu Jinnian’s eyes before. Usually, Lu Jinnian was arrogant and aloof; others said he never looked anyone in the eye. But in those deep, ink-like pupils, it seemed only one person was reflected: himself.

His heart raced even faster, the rhythmic drumming making his head dizzy. He felt as though the transparent barrier between him and Lu Jinnian had been torn open, and he was finally breathing the same air. It seeped into his pores, lingering and possessive.

How had he not noticed it sooner? The absolute exclusivity Lu Jinnian hid beneath his exterior.

If it weren’t for this sudden mind-reading ability, Chu Nian probably would have gone his whole life without sensing Lu Jinnian’s true feelings. He had always thought it was just a joke or a way to mess with him. But Lu Jinnian didn’t know he could read minds—why would he play such a pointless joke internally?

But why now? Why can’t he hold it back anymore?

“Hiss—” Chu Nian massaged his aching temples. Then, a flash of inspiration hit him: The contract was expiring.

Thinking of this, Chu Nian suddenly looked at Lu Jinnian. His lips moved as he whispered: “Lu Jinnian, you…”

Are you reluctant to let me go?

The man turned back instantly, his gaze burning as it locked onto Chu Nian’s dark eyes. Chu Nian felt his resolve slip; he blinked nervously and blurted out: “…Do you have a problem?”

The moment the words left his mouth, Chu Nian regretted them.

The man looked bewildered, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What?”

“Ah… no…” Chu Nian swallowed hard.

“…Do you mean physically or mentally?” Lu Jinnian suddenly interrupted.

Chu Nian’s pupils shook. Lu Jinnian had definitely misunderstood something.

“Physically… no,” Lu Jinnian said. “Mentally…”

He paused.

Chu Nian looked up, staring straight at him. He watched as Lu Jinnian became increasingly restless, his earlobes flushing pink. He licked his lips, leaving them moist and red.

“Also no.”

Those two words were practically squeezed out of Lu Jinnian’s throat. After he spoke, a mutual silence fell over them.

[Why did my wife suddenly ask that…]

[Did that Lin Yan kid say something bad about me!?]

[Did he secretly tell my wife I have physical or mental problems?]

Lu Jinnian sat there, secretly spiraling.

[What did Lin Yan actually say!!]

He frowned, looking anxious. He looked himself over seriously before suddenly turning his head back.

Chu Nian was startled by his scrutinizing gaze. Without warning, Lu Jinnian leaned in close, instantly closing the distance between them. In the next second, Chu Nian felt his wrist being grabbed. Lu Jinnian pressed Chu Nian’s hand against his own chest.

Chu Nian: ?

His mouth hung open, unable to process the meaning of the gesture. He only felt the heat of the hand gripping his wrist, the warmth of the skin beneath the fabric, and the incredibly fast thudding of the heart hidden beneath the bone.

[Damn, Mr. Lu finally gets it.]

Zhou Ze, in the driver’s seat, glanced at the rearview mirror and immediately looked away.

Chu Nian snapped out of it, twisting his wrist to escape, but Lu Jinnian held him tight, staring deep into his eyes.

“I don’t have a problem,” Lu Jinnian said, his voice husky.

He was desperate to prove himself; the gesture was an instinctive move made while his mind was a complete blank.

“What are you… doing,” Chu Nian said dryly, his fingers curling slightly against the fabric of Lu Jinnian’s chest. “I didn’t say you had a problem.”

The expression on the other man’s face stiffened. He seemed to realize what he was doing. A flash of chagrin crossed Lu Jinnian’s eyes. He released Chu Nian’s hand and sat back, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “It’s nothing.”

Chu Nian closed his mouth.

Strange. So strange. The atmosphere between them was becoming more and more awkward.

*****************************************

Chu Nian had never felt a car ride last so long. Just as he was about to pick a hole in the leather seat, Zhou Ze finally brought the car to a steady halt. Without a word, Chu Nian opened the door and jumped out. Whether it was from sitting too long or some psychological factor, his legs felt weak when his feet hit the ground, and he nearly fell to his knees.

Lu Jinnian followed behind him. His footsteps were distinct, echoing in Chu Nian’s ears.

Distracted, Chu Nian didn’t notice a protruding stone slab. He tripped, his body pitching forward uncontrollably. The sensation of weightlessness made him instinctively close his eyes.

One second… two seconds…

The expected pain never came. Chu Nian opened one eye and saw an arm wrapped around his waist.

Lu Jinnian’s body was pressed against his back. The searing heat turned the slightly chilly night warm. A thin layer of sweat broke out on Chu Nian’s forehead. He could feel the strength in Lu Jinnian’s arm and the warmth of the palm touching his abdomen.

Lu Jinnian helped him stand steady. When Chu Nian turned his head and met those beautiful eyes, his heartbeat became erratic again.

“Th-thanks.” Chu Nian’s voice trembled, his eyes blinking rapidly like the fluttering wings of a butterfly. He raised a hand to touch his nose, trying to hide his flustered expression.

Lu Jinnian frowned slightly. “Are you scared?” He thought Chu Nian looked pale because of the fall.

“No—”

Before Chu Nian could finish the syllable, the gentle sound was swallowed by the other man’s next move.

Lu Jinnian raised his hand and covered Chu Nian’s eyes with his palm. He had originally intended to touch Chu Nian’s forehead, but his hand was large enough to cover the eyes as well.

Chu Nian kept his eyes open. He couldn’t see Lu Jinnian, but his long lashes brushed against Lu Jinnian’s palm, making it itch.

An uncontrollable laugh finally betrayed Lu Jinnian.

Shaken by the sound of that laugh, and finding it easier to speak now that he couldn’t see Lu Jinnian’s eyes, Chu Nian finally asked the question.

“Lu Jinnian.”

For the first time, Chu Nian felt his voice was calm.

“Yeah?” Lu Jinnian raised an eyebrow. Chu Nian’s face was small; one of his hands could easily cover half of it, leaving only the delicate nose and the slightly moving lips visible. Chu Nian’s breath fanned against his fingers.

“Do you…” Chu Nian hesitated before continuing. “…Do you like me?”

His voice wasn’t loud. But it was deafening.