Why Did I Dream of Him Like That?

As he wondered how long Baek Jeongha’s interest would truly last, Haeyoon pressed the call button.
Soon, Jeongha’s voice came through.
– You’re awake?
“…Yeah.”
– How’s your body?
“Much better, thanks to you. I think the fever’s almost gone.”
– That’s a relief. Still, don’t let your guard down. Make sure to take your medicine properly until you’re fully recovered.

The naturally flowing conversation made his stomach feel strangely ticklish today.
Without dwelling on what this feeling was, Haeyoon continued.
“Yeah. I will. And… thanks for today. Sorry for bothering you.”
– What are you talking about. I’m the one who said I’d come.

Even words that might have sounded sharp if heard without context felt amusing to him now.
“Still….”
– Still, nothing. If you have time to say stuff like that, just get some rest.
“Yeah. I was about to take my medicine and go back to sleep.”

A faint smile touched the corner of Haeyoon’s mouth as he answered, fiddling with his sleeve.
He hadn’t expected to feel this lighthearted when his ex-lover and close friend were married and away on their honeymoon.
It was all thanks to Baek Jeongha.
Thanks to Jeongha pulling him through, Haeyoon truly thought that.
After a brief silence, Jeongha’s voice came through the phone again.
– Um… about what happened earlier…

A flash of memory made Haeyoon’s shoulders twitch, and he quickly spoke before Jeongha could continue.
“Earlier? When you came to my place?”
– Uh…?
“Why then…?”

His heart began to pound violently.
Afraid his agitation might be noticed, Haeyoon desperately pretended to be calm.
– I guess you don’t remember.

Jeongha’s following mutter was puzzling to Haeyoon.
Brushing his stray bangs behind his ear, Haeyoon replied.
“Is there something I should remember?”
– No, nothing like that. I guess it was just sleep-talking.
“Sleep, sleep-talking? Did I say something… bad…?”
– Yeah. You were being all cute, saying, ‘Jeongha, don’t go, don’t go~’

Fortunately, Jeongha’s voice was playful.
Haeyoon felt relieved and replied.
“You’re lying. I don’t sleep-talk.”
– No, you did. A lot.
“If you’re going to say weird stuff, hang up and get some rest too.”

Feeling like he’d get swept up in Jeongha’s pace if he kept talking, Haeyoon quickly ended the conversation.
There was no problem with a long call, but he was worried his own secret might be discovered.
– Okay. I’ll hang up so you can rest. Sleep well.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
– I’ll call you tomorrow.
“…Yeah.”

I’ll call you tomorrow.
The casual farewell made his stomach tingle again, and Haeyoon quickly ended the call first.
“Hoo….”

A long sigh escaped him.
His pale face had flushed red.
“I’m losing it, really. Why did I have a dream like that….”

Haeyoon’s agitation had a reason.
While sick, he had absurdly dreamed of kissing Jeongha.
A dream where Baek Jeongha initiated it, kissing him passionately.
It had been so vivid that for a while after waking up, he was confused whether it was real or not.
If he hadn’t known Baek Jeongha would never do that to him, he might have mistaken it for reality.
That’s how tangible the dream had been.
Recalling the dream brought the sensations back naturally.
The hot flesh that had rummaged through his mouth as if real, the heavy weight pressing down on his body, even the feel of fingers winding through his hair—it all came back so vividly that Haeyoon quickly shook his head.
The lingering dizziness made the room spin once, and the sensations from the dream faded slightly.
Haeyoon got up from bed, intending to wash up and clear his head.
Why had he dreamed such a thing?
Was he sexually frustrated?
Even when he was with Jaeyeol, his s*x drive wasn’t particularly high, which made this even more perplexing.
Maybe his subconscious wanted compensation this way for the humiliation inflicted by his ex-lover?
Blaming his incomprehensible state as pathetic, Haeyoon moved.
He also worried if he had shown any signs of agitation.
He was a little anxious because Jeongha’s attitude had seemed subtly awkward at the end of the call, and wondered if that was why.
Acting like he had no reason to see Jeongha again after the wedding, and then having dreams like this.
Haeyoon thought that perhaps Baek Jeongha had more influence on him than he realized as he headed to the bathroom.
He needed to clear his head.

* * * *

“So this is how you avoid me.”

Ahn Seonwoo slammed the car door shut, fuming.
On the passenger seat, his discarded phone displayed Seo Haeyoon’s name.
Seonwoo had returned from his honeymoon yesterday.
There were no more fights with Jaeyeol during the trip, but it wasn’t a very satisfying one either.
Even while enjoying beautiful scenery, good food, and playing the affectionate couple, one corner of his mind was constantly consumed by curiosity about Baek Jeongha and Seo Haeyoon.
What was even more annoying was sensing that Jaeyeol also wasn’t fully focused on their trip together.
Honestly, he himself still had lingering feelings for Baek Jeongha, and since Jeongha was a far superior Alpha compared to Oh Jaeyeol, he couldn’t help but be preoccupied.
But Jaeyeol being lost in thought was utterly incomprehensible.
Seonwoo knew better than anyone that he had no lingering feelings for Seo Haeyoon.
If that was the case, maybe what was on Jaeyeol’s mind wasn’t Seo Haeyoon, but Baek Jeongha.
Worried that Jaeyeol might have noticed his own lingering feelings for Jeongha, Seonwoo had been constantly watching his reactions.
“Do you really think you can avoid me like this?”

His hands gripping the steering wheel trembled with frustration.
Even during the honeymoon, he had called Haeyoon repeatedly and left voice messages, but there was no response.
Seo Haeyoon’s audacity in ruining his wedding and then cutting him off without an apology was infuriating.
His judgment had been correct.
He had seen through Haeyoon’s hypocritical nature long ago.
And yet, he had pretended to be kind and innocent all this time, deceiving everyone.
If he thought avoiding his calls would make this go away, he was sorely mistaken.
Even without calling, there were plenty of ways to meet Haeyoon.
Scoffing, Seonwoo started the engine and immediately pulled out.
Who did that bastard think he was, daring to covet Baek Jeongha?
As a longtime friend, Seonwoo felt obligated to remind Seo Haeyoon of his place.

* * * *

Haeyoon stared blankly at the canvas, messily painted with various colors, and let out a sigh.
When he had started, he was certain he could finish it.
After hearing about Jaeyeol and Seonwoo’s wedding, he hadn’t been able to paint properly, so when inspiration finally struck, he had been overjoyed.
But once he started working, it wasn’t progressing as well as he’d hoped.
His brushstrokes wandered as if lost, and even the parts he managed to fill didn’t satisfy him.
Setting down his brush and palette on the table, Haeyoon slumped onto the small stool in front of the canvas.
His chest felt heavy, like a stone was sitting on it.
Fortunately, there was no urgent deadline, but thinking of the fans waiting for new work weighed on his mind.
It was all thanks to the people who liked his art that Haeyoon, who had quit a job that didn’t suit him and started posting paintings on social media as a hobby while contemplating his path, could now make a living from it.
If not for them, Haeyoon, not even a fine arts major, wouldn’t have risen so quickly as a promising young artist capturing the critics’ attention.
That’s why he felt so impatient.
People around him said it was okay to take a break after going through such a hard time, but Haeyoon didn’t want to.
He didn’t want something like this, people who mattered so little, to affect his work.
But creation wasn’t something you could just will into being, so Haeyoon continued to struggle with completing his pieces.
“Hoo….”

Haeyoon let out another deep breath and closed his eyes.
He tried to set aside his cluttered thoughts and look into the emotions dwelling in his deepest depths.
What sea of emotion was he wading in now?
What colors made up his current soul?
What was it he wanted to express in a painting right now?
Haeyoon was originally known for using bright, hopeful colors.
Though he was consumed by a depression that was hard to escape, people who saw his SNS posts would comment that they found hope and light in his paintings.
He was said to capture abstract emotions like love and happiness in dazzling, ecstatic forms on canvas, to express the ineffable waves of light most beautifully.
Words used to describe Haeyoon’s work were mostly like that.
But what about Seo Haeyoon now?
What kind of light did Haeyoon have now?
Haeyoon dug deeper into his consciousness.
The light he wanted to express now wasn’t a simple, bright scene.
It wasn’t like the scorching sun of midsummer that illuminated the whole world.
The light Haeyoon possessed now was a streak of lightning.
An effort to escape the devastating darkness that made him miserable.
Having light didn’t mean everything had to be bright.
Even in pitch-black darkness, stars twinkled.
If the creator’s world was wide, the world of their art would expand infinitely.
Haeyoon realized that now was the chance to break down the walls he had built around himself.
When he opened his eyes, colors he had rarely used before were each asserting their presence.
A new wave began to spread across the silent sea of inspiration.
As if entranced, Haeyoon picked up his palette again.
Just then, he heard the sound of someone entering the door lock code at the studio entrance.
Haeyoon, momentarily dazed by the broken concentration, turned his head toward the door.
None of his friends were supposed to come by the studio today, so he wondered who it was.
But then, as the door opened and a familiar face entered, Haeyoon’s expression hardened.
“Well, well. I was worried something happened since you weren’t answering, but you seem just fine.”

Without a greeting, the person who barged in and spoke in a venomous tone was none other than Ahn Seonwoo.
Only then did Haeyoon realize he hadn’t changed his studio door code.
It was a number both Ahn Seonwoo and Oh Jaeyeol knew.
Since the two had betrayed him and coldly left, he never imagined they’d come back here on their own.
Nor did he want them to.
“…….”

Haeyoon didn’t bother retorting to Seonwoo’s sharp words and slowly put down his palette.
Even as Seonwoo shouted, “Hey, Seo Haeyoon!” he didn’t react strongly.
He habitually wiped his paint-stained hand on his apron, let out a slow breath, then turned to look at Seonwoo with an impassive expression.
“Why are you here?”