This Time, I’m Choosing You for Life

Haejin’s words made Beomwoo’s eyes go wide.

He had been consumed by despair, thinking Haejin was refusing him, saying he didn’t want to experience it again…

Was he asking if Beomwoo could make sure he never regretted it?

Beomwoo stared blankly at the unexpected words, then finally collected himself and cautiously confirmed whether he understood correctly.

“You mean… spend our lives together? Did I understand correctly?”

“…Yes. I told you. When I think about how we ended up here, all tangled up like this, I feel resentful, and angry too.”

“…….”

“I don’t want to feel these feelings again. So… if you don’t have the intention to spend our lives together, if this is just lightly asking me to trust you one more time, to be with you… then I’d rather you didn’t.”

Haejin nodded, confirming Beomwoo’s understanding was correct, but answered more firmly, clarifying that it wasn’t meant purely in a positive sense.

Haejin had been deeply wounded by him in the past life.

It was to the extent that, as he said, he might never be able to forgive him.

But after hearing why Beomwoo had acted that way and why Haejin had no choice but to think that way, he realized they had been misaligned in so many ways.

While Beomwoo had directly wronged him, there were also many instances where things that could have been resolved lightly, due to interference from others rather than Beomwoo himself, snowballed and went drastically wrong.

Just like the accident orchestrated by his brothers in this life, there had been many similar events in the past life.

Thinking about it, he wanted to reclaim the time that had gone so wrong, the time when he had been so lonely and miserable.

He wanted to feel what it was like to be loved, without longing for affection alone.

He wanted to experience again that moment when he thought their hearts had aligned.

If he had never known it, perhaps it would be different, but having experienced it, knowing how sweet it was, he wanted it even more.

But just as it had been so wonderful, he never wanted to experience the feeling of falling after hoping again.

If he had to experience that plummet again, he’d rather not start at all.

To an outsider, it might look like he was proposing they spend their lives together, but revealing the truth, it was on a completely different axis from such a romantic proposal.

It was saying: have that much resolve. It was close to a harsh threat to take responsibility for making him like this.

No matter how much Beomwoo’s heart was now directed at him, hearing “take responsibility for a lifetime” might normally invite hesitation or contemplation.

As he had told Haejin, love had an expiration date, and even those who loved each other desperately enough to form an imprint could end up worse than strangers.

One might wonder if, to win his heart back, Beomwoo would say anything sweet.

But so much had happened between them.

That’s why Haejin was certain Beomwoo wouldn’t take his demand for responsibility lightly.

Haejin wasn’t making this threat lightly either.

His own heart was just as heavy, promising a lifetime.

As Haejin looked at him seriously, contrary to his expectations, Beomwoo answered immediately without any sign of hesitation.

“Isn’t that obvious? From the moment I realized this life wasn’t a dream, up until now, I’ve never once been lighthearted.”

“…….”

His answer was so quick it made Haejin wonder if he had even thought about it.

But unlike the speed of his reply, there was no trace of playfulness or frivolity in his demeanor.

Beomwoo looked as if he might burst into tears at the slightest touch, trembling as if even uttering a single word was difficult, yet he was more serious than ever.

His heavy, solemn voice conveyed his sincerity.

Not only was his authenticity palpable without a shred of doubt, but seeing someone who wasn’t like this, someone he wished above all wouldn’t cry, making such a face, made Haejin’s heart soften.

Though Haejin had spoken to him like a threat, demanding he take responsibility for a lifetime, he was already as weak as could be.

That was why, even though he couldn’t forgive all of Beomwoo’s harsh actions, he could say he would trust him if he would just make this promise.

And now, seeing Beomwoo looking like he might shed tears at any moment, his heart ached even more.

Haejin looked at Beomwoo with tender heart, but then reminded himself this was no time for that.

Pretending not to be weak, he put strength in his voice and spoke firmly, almost acting.

“Then show me. Don’t just keep things to yourself. If you like me, say you like me. And if you think I might misunderstand, tell me again…”

“…….”

“And Beomwoo-ssi, if you don’t know what I’m thinking, tell me too…”

If he was truly sincere, not lighthearted, there was something Haejin wanted to ask of him.

To be honest, without shyness or concealment.

Even if they now knew each other’s hearts and trusted their weight, if they didn’t speak, didn’t express themselves like in the past life, they could repeat the same tragedy.

Since misunderstandings had piled up because they didn’t express themselves or speak, he hoped this time would be different.

If they talked more and were honest, wouldn’t they avoid the same outcome?

When Haejin made this demand with a firmer demeanor than before, Beomwoo pressed his lips tightly together.

He composed his face, which had looked ready to cry at any moment, and answered, putting strength into his throat to keep his voice from trembling shamefully.

“I will change. I know that no matter what I do, I may never be forgiven for the wrongs I’ve done to Haejin-ssi… But at the very least, I’ll make sure you don’t regret choosing me again.”

“…….”

Beomwoo said he knew he might never be fully forgiven.

He had given wounds that could never be washed away, but he desperately promised to make sure Haejin never regretted choosing him again.

Speaking earnestly, he took Haejin’s fingertips.

Then, as if handling a glass marble, he carefully pressed his lips to the back of his hand.

It felt less like a sexual act and more like a vow.

Pressing his lips to Haejin’s hand as if stamping a seal, he slowly pulled away and looked into Haejin’s eyes.

“I will atone for a lifetime… and love you.”

“…….”

At the confession of love made while looking into his eyes, Haejin was momentarily reminded of the day they exchanged vows in their past life.

What Beomwoo was saying to him now was similar to the oath they had shared before so many people that day, and the feeling swelling in his chest was also similar.

That strange flutter of becoming family with this person, of spending a lifetime together.

What was different from then was that he had feared, ‘Can I trust this person? After the marriage, will he just use me for the inheritance and change?’

But now, that fear was gone.

Trust was full, and anticipation was even greater.

After unraveling the complexly tangled knots, it was finally time to confirm each other’s hearts again.

The long darkness that had covered his heart passed.

The fog that had blocked the way, obscuring even the next step, lifted, and at last, sunlight shone through.

“Ha…….”

Haejin released the breath he had been holding as if pressing it into his chest, and lifted his head.

Finding an answer in a maze he had thought had no escape, his heart felt lighter, lighter.

The firm, demanding expression Haejin had worn, threatening with conviction about a future he was sure of, softened.

But Beomwoo before him, perhaps not having read his thoughts, had an impurity of anxiety mixed in his eyes.

Even after his desperate answer, Haejin’s silence made it seem like he feared Haejin might refuse again.

…That’s not it.

This was a moment of sincerity he had long wished for, longed for.

He wasn’t trying to force Beomwoo to be happy, but seeing him lower his gaze at such a moment made Haejin not want it to be like this.

Besides, though Beomwoo said he would atone for a lifetime, having experienced a hierarchical relationship where he was the subordinate, he didn’t want that kind of relationship even if Beomwoo now took that role.

Wondering how to make Beomwoo feel less burdened, Haejin cleared his throat and spoke to him with a slightly playful tone.

“Beomwoo-ssi, you should look at me.”

“…What?”

“They say when you’re talking, you should make eye contact.”

Haejin spoke, a little awkwardly.

It was something Beomwoo had said many times in the past life, when Haejin was too shy to meet his eyes.

Back then, even though he liked Beomwoo, he would lower his gaze, afraid of making a mistake, and also afraid that Beomwoo would discover his embarrassing feelings.

Beomwoo would scold him to lift his head and make eye contact, and Haejin knew it was bad and tried to fix it, but it wasn’t easy.

His timid nature hadn’t changed, so even now, making eye contact wasn’t simple.

He still felt like his inner thoughts would be read, felt awkward and shy.

But the fear he felt then was gone.

That feeling wasn’t with him now; rather, it seemed to have moved to Beomwoo.

When words that had only come from Beomwoo’s mouth now came from Haejin’s, Beomwoo looked slightly flustered.

Not good or bad, just surprised to hear his own words spoken by Haejin.

There were times he had hated hearing those words, but now seeing Beomwoo flustered by the reversal was a bit amusing.

Despite saying he didn’t want a hierarchical relationship, there was something contradictory and ironic about this.

Perhaps it was the excitement of finally, after a long unrequited love, reaching a resolution.

Why did he feel like teasing him more?

Haejin, remembering that Beomwoo had teased him a few times before, thought maybe now he could too, and looked at him.

Then, having made a decision, he drew closer.

Their eyes were locked, and even as his face grew nearer, Beomwoo remained frozen with tension.

He neither avoided Haejin nor did anything else.

Haejin pressed his lips to the frozen Beomwoo’s.