You’re the Only One I Want to Show First

Examining Haeyoon’s new post closely, Seonwoo’s mood soured instantly. It was news that a systematically organized website had launched, allowing Haeyoon’s paintings to be conveniently purchased online.

It was a project that had been in preparation for quite some time, so Seonwoo already knew about it. However, with everything that had happened recently, he had completely forgotten.

The vivid memory returned of people making a fuss around him, saying that even in this age of influencers, it was rare to find a young artist who had established themselves so quickly with painting, even building a fandom with immense purchasing power. How utterly distasteful it had been.

“What a load of shit.”

Cursing under his breath, Seonwoo accessed the newly launched website with a nonchalant expression. What did a site for buying and selling paintings have to put on airs like it was some great art? It was ridiculous.

Instead of a painting, the main page featured Haeyoon’s photo and introduction prominently. As if Seo Haeyoon himself was the most special artwork. Seonwoo’s gaze lingered on the name written below the photo.

– Seohae.

The artist’s pseudonym for Seo Haeyoon. Seonwoo found that equally irritating. It was just the first two characters of his name, yet his so-called fans were busy praising even that, saying it was as beautiful as his paintings.

Moving to the sales page, a considerable number of paintings filled the virtual gallery. For how long it had been open, quite a few pieces were already marked as sold.

Some he recognized, and there were several he hadn’t seen before. To his eyes, they all looked the same anyway. What bothered him was the price. Even before the website was made, Haeyoon sold his paintings through social media. In the early days, Seonwoo had often helped out, so he had a general idea of the price range.

But Haeyoon’s paintings, which he was seeing again after a long time, were selling for dozens of times that price.

“People actually pay this much for this stuff?”

He was so flabbergasted he was speechless. If he just slapped some paint on a canvas with a brush, it would probably look much the same. What was wrong with people’s eyes?

“Maybe I should learn to paint too.”

The more he looked, the worse his mood got, so Seonwoo threw his phone aside and lay back on the sofa. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do after quitting his job. Sure, realistically depicting objects required skill, but painting like Seo Haeyoon looked much easier.

“But what does it matter.”

Then, Seonwoo suddenly recalled meeting Baek Jeongha recently and smiled. A hum naturally escaped his lips, as if he had never been annoyed.

What did it matter if he painted well and was praised by strangers? In the end, Seo Haeyoon would be pathetically abandoned again, crying alone.

Life was such an unpredictable series of contradictions. Ahn Seonwoo had taken Oh Jaeyeol, whom Haeyoon hadn’t even been interested in, all because of Baek Jeongha. If Jeongha had accepted him, he wouldn’t have bothered taking Jaeyeol.

And now, that same Baek Jeongha had become a weapon to wound Haeyoon once more.

“Right. Keep painting. Because that’ll be all you have left anyway.”

Feeling much better, Seonwoo hummed again. Divorce wasn’t easy, but if Baek Jeongha truly wanted him that much, what could he do? He’d just have to go for it.

Seonwoo closed his eyes, thinking he should go out for a nice dinner with Jaeyeol today. To avoid giving him any unnecessary ammunition, he needed to be attentive for a while.

* * * *

“Why did you buy that…!”

Haeyoon, who had been excitedly introducing the site selling his paintings to Jeongha, raised his voice in surprise when he learned Jeongha had already bought two pieces.

“They’re your paintings, hyung. Of course I had to buy them.”

“You’re interested in art?”

“I don’t know much about art, but I’m quite interested in the artist Seohae.”

Haeyoon’s face flushed faintly. Though it was a pseudonym he had heard countless times, hearing the name ‘Seohae’ from Jeongha’s lips somehow felt different.

“Curious about what I bought?”

“…Yeah. What did you get?”

Embarrassment aside, curiosity was curiosity. Haeyoon craned his neck to look at Jeongha’s phone.

“This one and this one.”

“Ah…….”

“Honestly, I wanted to buy more, but if I bought them all, others would miss out.”

It wasn’t an empty statement. If he could, he would have bought every painting displayed and made his own gallery. Haeyoon stared intently at the paintings Jeongha had purchased with a serious expression before muttering.

“What money does a student have to spend like this….”

At the unexpected comment, it was Jeongha’s turn to widen his eyes. Come to think of it, Haeyoon didn’t know that Jeongha was born with wealth. Suppressing a laugh, Jeongha put on a deliberately gloomy expression.

“Yeah. I spent all my allowance on these, so you’ll have to take care of me from now on.”

“Should I… get a refund…?”

At Haeyoon’s still serious response, Jeongha burst out laughing again.

“Don’t worry, I’m not that kind of poor college student.”

“Still… don’t buy any more from now on. If you see something you like, I’ll give it to you as a gift.”

“What kind of business person runs their business like that?”

“I’m not doing business with you.”

The playful conversation lapsed into a brief silence. Caught off guard, Jeongha looked at Haeyoon. Haeyoon, his face showing no sign that he had just thrown a stone into Jeongha’s heart, was still intently examining the paintings Jeongha had bought. From his expression, he looked ready to refund the money right then and there.

“How interesting….”

Jeongha murmured the words that slipped from his heart without thinking. His voice was so small that Haeyoon probably didn’t hear, but it was a statement filled with more sincerity than ever.

It was pure enjoyment. Not from achieving something or obtaining a desired object, but from the mere existence of a person—it was a feeling so novel it was almost wondrous.

Haeyoon had asked him not to overdo it, to only do as much as he enjoyed, but that was hardly a concern. Just being by Seo Haeyoon’s side brought Jeongha an unprecedented joy.

In truth, from the very beginning, Jeongha’s interest had been fixed solely on Seo Haeyoon.

“Ah, and there’s more good news.”

“Good news?”

“Yeah. I think… I might be having an exhibition soon.”

“An exhibition? You’re having a painting exhibition?”

Haeyoon nodded shyly. He had actually received the offer quite some time ago. He hadn’t set a precise date then, but he had a season in mind and had been preparing steadily for a while. He had a rough list of paintings, and a few new works were almost ready. The only thing left was the representative piece for his first exhibition, but his work had stalled recently due to the whole ordeal with Oh Jaeyeol.

And now, having picked up his brush again, Haeyoon was confident he could complete the piece, and was now preparing for the exhibition in earnest.

“So it’s your first exhibition?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow… that’s really something to celebrate. Shouldn’t we have a party or something?”

“Party? No, later. Later.”

But that wasn’t the main point. There was something else he really wanted to say. Watching Jeongha genuinely share his joy, Haeyoon spoke.

“So….”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t come to the studio for a while.”

“Huh?”

Jeongha tilted his head, making a strange sound, surprised by the unexpected comment. Don’t come to the studio suddenly? Did he mean he was being a distraction? Logically, he understood, but his heart was already dwelling on the slight sting of rejection when Haeyoon continued.

“Well… I’m preparing the main piece for the exhibition….”

“Okay.”

“So… when it’s finished, I want to show it to you with a ‘ta-da!’ Just to you.”

When it’s finished, I want to show it to you.

Just to you.

Haeyoon’s words echoed in Jeongha’s ears like a bell. Jeongha’s expression, which had fallen like a dog who’d had a treat snatched away, gradually brightened with the echoes.

“You want to show me the finished piece… especially to me?”

“Yeah. You might not be very interested, but….”

“No! I’m very interested. Extremely. I definitely want to see it.”

At Jeongha’s immediate, vehement denial, the slight tension in Haeyoon’s expression eased as well.

“When it’s finished, I’ll show it to you first. That’s what I want to do.”

With excitement in his heart, Haeyoon looked into Jeongha’s eyes, sparkling with that mysterious green.

He couldn’t bring himself to say it, afraid it might be a burden, but the muse for this piece was none other than Baek Jeongha.

* * * *

“Seohae….”

Jeongha quietly rolled the unfamiliar pseudonym on his tongue. On the tablet before him was the main page of the site selling Haeyoon’s paintings.

Having returned home to not disturb Haeyoon’s work, Jeongha had been checking this page whenever he had a chance since earlier. There was no other reason; he just found the photo of Haeyoon on it beautiful.

It wasn’t a particularly special composition. It was a fairly common shot of Haeyoon sitting with his head slightly turned in front of a large, rustic wooden window, exuding a vintage feel.

But the fact that the subject was Seo Haeyoon alone kept it from being a mundane photo. Though not black and white, the low saturation made Haeyoon look like a piece of classical art.