You Let Me Go… Now You Regret It

“What?”

“He was standing there when I came out after finishing work.”

– That crazy bastard finally… I’m coming now. I’ll come right now.

He heard the sound of hasty movement. It sounded like he was about to jump up and run out right then. It was 1 AM, he had just woken up, yet he was saying without hesitation that he would drive the considerable distance. Haeyoon’s emotions suddenly surged.

Desperately trying not to burst into tears and look pathetic, Haeyoon quickly stopped him.

“No, Jeongha. You don’t have to come. Jaeyeol already left… nothing happened.”

– What did that bastard say? I should have just waited nearby until you finished work. I should have. Are you okay? Where are you now? Go home for now, I’ll come to your place.

“Come where? Calm down, sit still, and listen to me. If you say you’re coming, I won’t tell you anything.”

Finally, the sound of frantic movement stopped. Even so, he could tell Jeongha was still restless, and Haeyoon let out a small laugh.

– Just tell me.

“First… sorry I didn’t call right away. It’s not that I was trying to hide it… it’s just that it wasn’t a big deal. We weren’t alone; we talked in a café with people around.”

– …Okay. And?

Haeyoon could vividly picture the expression on his face, one that said he was dying to scold him but was holding back for now. It was endearing. He wanted to see that face for real right now.

Should he drive to Jeongha’s place? Just go, see his face for a moment, and come back.

Entertaining this absurd thought seriously in his mind, Haeyoon slowly began to tell him about what had happened with Jaeyeol. The pitiful, trembling eyes of Oh Jaeyeol no longer lingered in his heart.

* * * *

“You’re home? It’s late.”

Jaeyeol opened the front door and stepped inside, exhausted. He looked blankly at Seonwoo, who was sitting on the living room sofa, drying his hair with a towel. Judging by the fact that he’d just showered, it seemed Seonwoo had also been out and returned late.

Lately, Seonwoo seemed busy, though Jaeyeol didn’t know with what. He went out often, and his spending had increased. When Seonwoo quit his job after the wedding, Jaeyeol had given him a card for living expenses, and messages would come almost daily about new clothes or shoes he’d bought.

A flash of irritation rose. Quitting his job had been Ahn Seonwoo’s own decision. Seonwoo had said being a housewife was his dream, that he wanted to support the household at least during the honeymoon and then look for another job.

While the household wasn’t strapped for cash, they had married early before establishing their social foundations, spent a considerable amount on the wedding, and had a significant mortgage on the house, so honestly, it hadn’t been a decision he could entirely welcome.

But back then, Jaeyeol was completely infatuated with Ahn Seonwoo and wanted to give him whatever he wanted. It was his spouse’s lifelong dream; he couldn’t not grant it.

But seeing it now, it just felt frustrating. The house, not even properly cleaned, stressed him out every time he came home.

If it were Seo Haeyoon, it would be different.

The thought came before he even realized it. At first, he was surprised to find himself thinking of Haeyoon like this, but once his thoughts turned that way, he couldn’t stop comparing.

Jaeyeol had also heard that Haeyoon had started selling his paintings on a proper website. Having watched his growth from the closest vantage point, Jaeyeol knew better than anyone how much people praised his art.

The value of Haeyoon’s paintings skyrocketed by the day. As more people wanted to buy his paintings, Haeyoon always expressed his gratitude to Jaeyeol, who had helped him immensely, both mentally and materially, to establish himself.

The lovely promise that he would work harder and repay him a hundredfold had been a bonus. And Haeyoon was rapidly growing into an artist with the capability to do so.

If he had chosen Seo Haeyoon instead of Ahn Seonwoo, the magnitude of affection he might be enjoying now pressed down on Jaeyeol with a newfound weight.

He couldn’t deny he had been feeling some boredom in their nearly decade-long relationship. But that was a common experience for long-term couples. If left alone, they would have overcome it. As they always had, if they had talked maturely with Haeyoon and found a way, he was sure he would have regained his love for him.

If only Ahn Seonwoo hadn’t, if only Seonwoo hadn’t blatantly released his pheromones and seduced him back then.

I. Even now.
I could have stayed by Seo Haeyoon’s side as his lover.

The moment he thought that far, Jaeyeol hastily reined in his emotions. This was definitely crossing a line. It seemed his conversation with Haeyoon today had made him overly emotional.

_’Would you leave Ahn Seonwoo and come back to me?’*

The face of Haeyoon, saying those words with an unreadable expression, kept coming to mind. Jaeyeol tried to push that face away, speaking to Seonwoo as casually as he could.

“Did you go out today too?”

“Huh? Ah, Jinyoung-ssi asked to meet for a bit.”

Jinyoung was a colleague at Jaeyeol’s company. Since she was also Seonwoo’s former colleague, they had a connection, but were they close enough to meet separately like this? While Jaeyeol was wondering, Seonwoo suddenly asked.

“I heard there was a couples dinner the other day?”

Jaeyeol’s steps, heading to change his clothes, halted abruptly. When he turned, his eyes met Seonwoo’s, who was calmly shaking his head dry.

“Well… that… Seonwoo.”

Jaeyeol stammered. He was so flustered he couldn’t think of an excuse. He’d let his guard down because it seemed Seonwoo hadn’t been in touch with his former colleagues since quitting.

Just as the atmosphere at home was finally improving, the thought of snarling and fighting again made his head throb. He was desperately thinking of a way to explain it away quietly when Seonwoo spoke first.

“It’s okay.”

“…Huh?”

“It’s fine. Honestly, it was surprising, but well, our… atmosphere was like that back then.”

It was clearly a generous understanding, but he didn’t feel relieved. He was too busy trying to figure out if there was a hidden meaning, if she was testing him in some way, his mind in turmoil.

“Still, I was a little hurt.”
“Ah… yeah. It was hard to bring it up to you then. Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Figuring out her intention could come later; Jaeyeol apologized first. This was undeniably his fault.

Seonwoo looked at Jaeyeol for a moment, then put down his towel and walked towards him. Jaeyeol unconsciously swallowed. It wasn’t excitement at his loved one approaching, but tension.

“Just so you know. Don’t do that again, hyung. It hurts me.”

Seonwoo lowered his eyebrows in a coquettish whine. He didn’t seem to be forcing himself to hold back anger or harboring any ulterior motives. Finally relieved, Jaeyeol nodded.

“Yeah. I was wrong. I won’t do it again.”
“Okay. Go shower first. You must be tired.”

After accepting his apology and even smiling softly, Seonwoo turned and went back to the sofa without another word. Jaeyeol watched his back blankly for a moment before replying with a small “Yeah.”

On the surface, everything seemed fine. They hadn’t fought in days, and Seonwoo’s mood was good. They had weathered a brief crisis without too much trouble.

But what was this persistent unease lurking in the corner of his heart?

Jaeyeol loosened his tie with an irritated motion. The tightness in his chest remained.

* * * *

“…….”

Seonwoo stared at the gleaming ring in his hand for a long time. It wasn’t the wedding ring he had exchanged when he and Oh Jaeyeol promised to marry.

It was a ring he had kept carefully in his dresser drawer for a long time. He had resolved to throw it away the next time he took it out, but the reason he took it out today was far from that.

Because now, he wouldn’t need to throw it away.

Of course, he wouldn’t be using it as a couple ring. If he were to date Jeongha, he would ask him to buy a far better ring. Besides, honestly, this ring wasn’t even to his taste. Because he had been mindful of Jeongha’s opinion and hadn’t chosen a design he truly wanted.

Seonwoo slowly slipped the ring onto his right ring finger. He had chosen the plainest, simplest design, considering that Jeongha would probably dislike flashy couple rings. Thanks to that, it didn’t look much like a couple ring on his finger.

Even if it did, he probably wouldn’t care. Seonwoo had already more or less decided on his course.

Finally seeing the ring settled on his finger, his heart pounded fiercely. It was as if he was already Baek Jeongha’s lover. Just imagining walking down the street, hand in hand, wearing matching rings, was so thrilling his whole body trembled.