The Burden of the Casting Vote

“…….”

Those words brought back memories of when I first entered the academy. I remembered how incredibly proud I was to have escaped my suffocating household and enrolled with such high marks. I firmly believed a new life was beginning.

But once I was actually here, it wasn’t anything special. No matter where I was or what I did, I was still just me. I didn’t know about others, but I had a strong conviction that no matter what happened, I would never truly change. That thought made me sink back into depression.

“By the way, is it okay for you to keep hanging out with us like this?”

“Huh?”

“You always used to head back to the dorms at this time saying you had to do assignments.”

“Oh, right. Professor Berte told us to write a group project report.”

But I already knew. No matter how depressed I felt, I still had to attend classes and do my assignments. And above all…

“I think the General Department just has way too many assignments.”

“Yeah, seriously. Ugh, I really want to drop out.”

If I didn’t even do this, I would truly become a nobody. When I thought of it that way, perhaps my current situation—being buried in schoolwork—was actually a form of happiness. I belonged to the academy, I had the status of a student, and I had good friends and a wonderful lover.

However, that thought was fleeting; the moment I sat at my desk, the urge to drop out returned. I mechanically moved my quill, thinking to myself:

I am trash for wanting to do nothing, even though I know that doing nothing will actually turn me into trash.

The group project from hell finally ended. Of course, only that specific project was over—there were still plenty of other assignments and a mountain of studying to do—but just knowing I didn’t have to clash with the other students anymore made my heart feel light.

And contrary to my worries, Zeno didn’t try to talk to me again. Sometimes in life, things resolve themselves so easily it makes your previous anxieties feel hollow; this felt like one of those cases. Since the mid-term tests were still a long way off, the fact that I could enjoy school life in peace for a while brought a natural smile to my face.

For once, I was enjoying a cup of coffee with a relaxed mind. But then Claire and Ena appeared and spoke.

“Senior, there’s a Library Club meeting today at six PM.”

“…….”

I should have known. Misery really does suit me best. I had forgotten about the Library Club for a moment.

At Owl Academy, there are “Special Activity Clubs” where students gather outside of class for hobbies. During these hours, there are no departmental restrictions, and you can freely choose any club you wish to join. Most students join one to build connections with people from other departments.

I had wanted to keep my personal time at all costs and didn’t want to join anything, but I was scouted by the professor in charge of the Library Club during my freshman year and had no choice but to join. It feels a bit awkward saying this myself, but the Library Club is one of the most competitive clubs to get into. It’s a very “safe” choice, the advising professor is a famous novelist, and the members are all renowned talents.

Before joining, I thought that while losing personal time was a shame, there wouldn’t be any downside to being a member. That was until I saw the members engaging in factional warfare.

As most people know, the “racial trait” of nobles is the desire to be the most prominent person wherever they go. Factional infighting happened in other clubs too, but as I mentioned, the Library Club was packed with nothing but high-profile talents.

It’s cutthroat enough when ordinary nobles gather, but when it’s only the elite? It’s the perfect environment for dozens of shrimp to get their backs broken in a fight between whales.

“I hope today’s meeting ends peacefully and quickly.”

“You’re harboring vain hopes, girls.”

Currently, there are two power players in our club, serving as the President and Vice President. One is from the Kingdom of Calypso, which grew wealthy through trade, and the other is from the Kingdom of Neptune, which possesses a powerful navy.

Calypso’s merchant ships had to hire Neptune’s navy because of pirates and sea monsters. Calypso was essentially a vital source of income for Neptune. However, starting three years ago, Neptune began demanding exorbitant fees, and Calypso immediately pushed back.

Since neither kingdom can survive without the other, they managed a tenuous compromise, but they growl at each other over the issue at every opportunity. Consequently, the relationship between those two students was terrible, and the other members—eager to get on their good sides—followed suit, turning the club into a total mess.

“But those seniors are third-years. Won’t it get quiet once they graduate?”

I said listlessly, “They say when the tiger is away, the fox plays king.”

“Ah, that’s true. Every second-year senior except you is eyeing that President’s seat, aren’t they?”

“Aren’t you interested in the President’s position, Senior?”

“How could someone like me, who has neither talent nor influence, be President?”

“That’s true.”

We entered the library and took our seats. I was glad Ena and Claire were there. If I sat alone, I would stand out far too much.

Once all the Library Club members were seated, a man with blue hair and a man with silver hair stepped forward.

“Then, let us begin the meeting.”

The blue-haired man was the Club President and a native of Calypso, Senior Fernando. Like someone accustomed to the spotlight, he spoke with a confident air.

“We’ve gathered today to decide on the location for this month’s external activity.”

The primary activities of the Library Club involve managing the librarians and the books and deciding on library rules. However, once a month, we go outside for a “unique experience,” and that day was next week.

Senior Serman, who was from the Kingdom of Neptune, spoke up.

“After consulting with our advisor, Professor Eric, we have narrowed it down to two locations. What do you think?”

Senior Serman was calmer than Fernando, but he possessed the relaxed aura typical of those who are highly successful. To put it simply, both of them were the type who could effortlessly greet a stranger for the first time and ask, “Want some cookies?”

For the record, I am the type who feels my energy being drained just by being in the same room as them. The meeting had only just started, and I already wanted to go back to the dorms. I received the handout they passed around.

The first option was a theater to watch a play, and the second was a beautiful lake for a picnic. Senior Serman said:

“I strongly recommend the theater. They are performing a play based on Cruna, the work that swept the entire continent.”

Senior Fernando said with a refreshing smile, “Isn’t it a bit much to do something book-related even for an external activity?”

Serman immediately shot back, “Well, we are the Library Club.”

“That’s exactly why we should go to the lake. Your head will only clear up if you breathe some fresh air.”

“It would be very beneficial to have a session where we all share our impressions after watching the play.”

Fernando, still wearing that bright expression, said, “Serman, you really do love books.”

“Yes. That’s why I really dislike people who join the Library Club for other motives—like building connections—just because it’s a ‘safe’ club.”

“Is that so? Funny, people who say things like that always seem to have something shady going on behind the scenes.”

Being people active in high society, the two began to trade cheerful insults. Anyone watching this scene would surely wonder, They’re fighting over something like this? I used to be one of those people.

But as soon as I joined the Library Club, I learned that everywhere you go, there are people who will have power struggles over the most trivial things.

“Then, shall we decide by vote as usual?”

“Ah, yes. Voting is the most impartial method, after all.”

I had considered making up an excuse to the advisor to leave the club because I hated seeing them fight even during club activities. But that was impossible.

“Oh, right. By the way, Cecil.”

“Yes, Senior.”

Both of them spoke simultaneously.

“Don’t cast an abstention this time.”

“Please don’t cast an abstention this time.”

That was because I was currently on both of their bad sides. Why on earth did I abstain back then? I felt like weeping tears of blood as I remembered the moment I drew their scrutiny.

It happened back when I was a freshman. When the third-years graduated and the freshmen entered, a new President and Vice President had to be chosen. The candidates were, naturally, those two. They kept each other in check while announcing their platforms, and we voted.

There were 21 members in the Library Club in total, and both Senior Fernando and Senior Serman received exactly ten votes each. It was a moment where the final vote would decide the winner. The members opened the last remaining ballot with tense faces, and it was…

The abstention I had cast.

I honestly had no idea that every single person except me had chosen a side. I believed at least a few others would stay out of the factional fighting like I did. But it turned out I was the only one quietly doing my club activities.

Even Claire and Ena, currently sitting beside me, had been recruited by Senior Serman long ago. The fact that the abstainer was me was quickly revealed, and the two—who were forced to decide the positions via drawing lots—had been giving me looks with smiling faces ever since, telling me not to abstain whenever a vote came up.

I probably won’t be able to leave until this war is over. So I even thought about just closing my eyes, picking one, and getting out, but…

“Come to think of it, Cecil, you were the runner-up in your class as a freshman, weren’t you?”

“Wow, that’s impressive. I hope you get good grades this time too.”

I feared the aftermath. If I even lost the classmates I could ask when I missed a department announcement, I would be in real trouble.

I received the ballot with trembling hands. I truly didn’t understand. Both of them were handsome, had many friends, and vast connections—couldn’t they go play in a bigger pond? What’s the point of grasping for power in a Library Club with a measly 21 members?

I simply couldn’t fathom the psychology of the elite. I had no idea what to write. I felt so nauseous I thought I might hyperventilate. It was then, as I stared at the blank ballot with shaking hands…