The Demon King’s Identity Crisis

“How was last night? You seemed pretty shaken.”

“Compared to what happened to me today, last night was nothing.”

“What happened?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I turned into a woman?”

“Haven’t you always been a woman?”

“It seems your memories have been altered too.”

“Huh?”

I was chatting with a Death Knight whose ID was Sakikawa Taisa.

He was my best bro from school, Sun Xiaochuan, a gentle, easygoing fatty who claimed to be the grandson of the Japanese Emperor.

Since he was an ardent Japanophile, a militarist, and a Showa Youth, he usually named his game ID Sakikawa Taisa.

This fellow often spouted outrageous opinions online, a true Imperial Han chauvinist. I always saw him as the reincarnation of Kita Ikki, while he called me a keyboard revolutionary, a reincarnation of Trotsky.

Damn it, being labeled a Trotskyist by a right-winger would get me expelled from the left.

In any case, we were both shut-ins with overlapping hobbies, and our relationship was solid. Thus, he became the Demon King’s chief strategist, the mastermind and implementer behind creating ‘Green Tea’ characters to infiltrate guilds and sow discord.

When he started using a voice changer to pretend to be a girl, even I thought he must be a born seductress, a true ‘green tea b*tch’.

While his cutesy tone disgusted me to no end, those energetic virgins, unaware of his true identity, were completely fooled, actually tearing each other apart over him.

Oh, you pitiful men…

Since this fatty was so talented, why couldn’t he have turned into a woman to give his brother some fun?

‘About My Best Bro Turning Into a Girl and Then Falling for Me’ felt like a promising premise…

Cough, cough. Even my best bro, with whom I spent every waking moment, remembered me as a girl. Had my image in his memory changed at all?

I decided to investigate immediately.

“You fatty, do you still remember the first time you met me?”

His tone turned lewd. “09, have you lost your memory? Hehe, actually, I’m your boyfriend. We first met on a street scattered with cherry blossoms…”

“Get lost! Where are there cherry blossoms around here? Don’t even think about taking advantage of me. A fatty like you wants a girlfriend? Dream on!”

He scoffed. “Tch, what right does a simp like you have to laugh at me?”

I muttered to myself, So I’m still a simp?

That wasn’t right. Hadn’t I already become a girl? How could I still be a simp?

No, I needed to clarify the situation. Who exactly was I simping for?

If it was a man, I’d rather smash my head against a block of tofu and die.

I probed cautiously, “Just out of curiosity, who am I simping for?”

“Who else? Of course, it’s our classmate Bai An An. She’s a rich, beautiful, and influential lady. Haven’t you always wanted her to be your sugar mommy?”

A slurping sound came from the private voice chat channel. That fatty was definitely eating instant noodles.

“That’s good then.”

A wave of relief washed over me. It seemed the world line hadn’t shifted too drastically.

The fatty suddenly sighed. “Sigh, the first time I learned you liked that Ice Queen, I was quite startled.”

“Is that strange?”

“Not really. I’m a Yuri fan, after all. It’s just that suddenly discovering my best bro was a lesbian felt a bit… regrettable.”

“…”

Regrettable?

Wait, did you actually have feelings for me? Rabbits don’t eat the grass around their burrows—are you a beast?!

Four otakus are truly disgusting!

He recalled with great nostalgia:

“09, the first time I met you, you were a gloomy shut-in, a loner with an isolated personality and a bad reputation. If I hadn’t discovered you were playing the same mobile game as me, I wouldn’t have dared to get to know you. Later, I realized you were actually quite silly, just not good at expressing your emotions, which gave people a bad impression.

“Back then, I even thought that if you kept being unable to interact with society due to social anxiety, unable to find a job, I would support you for life. I own several rental properties; no matter what, I could afford to take care of you.”

“Since there must be useless people and parasites in this world, why can’t it be us?”

Heh, you fatty, I’m going to unfriend you.

I can’t believe I trusted you so much, yet you wanted to gay me!

I’d rather die, jump off a cliff, than accept your pity, you fatty. Even if your family owns a mine, don’t think you can move me!

Support me for life? Get lost! I have hands and legs. Why would I need a fatty who lives off his parents’ money to support me?

As the Heavens maintain vigor through movement, so must a gentleman ceaselessly strive for self-improvement!

Farewell. I’ll delete you from my friends list and cut ties after we take down Xiyue today.

The strange phenomenon of having five Heavenly Kings when there should only be four should have been corrected long ago. Look at you, you’re worse than me even at gaming. At least I can wear down Xiyue, but you, a main tank, can’t even withstand damage. How embarrassing!

The fatty continued, “But later, when you said you liked Young Lady Bai, the sparkle in your eyes made me determined to help you overcome worldly prejudices and be with her. Don’t worry, even if I’m not very useful, I can definitely provide assists for you.”

Haven’t you been mocking me every day, saying I’m a toad trying to eat swan meat?

Why the sudden burst of loyalty?

I hadn’t expected this fatty to care so much about my love life. It seemed even unreliable friends could be dependable sometimes!

“Waaah, we’ll be good brothers for life!”

“Haha, not quite. Ours is a pure revolutionary friendship… Oh crap, Xiyue is too strong, isn’t he? Did your trash talk tactics backfire?”

The current situation was dire. My four Heavenly Kings, plus myself—six people in total—were actually losing to a lone Xiyue.

The bullet comments on the live stream had already obscured the screen.

“23333333!”

“Xiyue is invincible!”

“Haha, what kind of Demon King is this? Six people can’t even beat one.”

“My idol is super strong!”

“I want to see the Demon King’s frustrated expression.”

“Demon King, you suck.”

Huh?

I suck?

If you’re so good, you do it!

Xiyue was practically a bug in this game. He was the only player to solo a hell-difficulty version raid dungeon.

This guy was essentially the game’s final boss, alright?

How could I possibly beat him with a low-level character? Why else would I resort to glorious human wave tactics?

“You want to see me frustrated? Are you worthy? I’m worthy of a lock, how many keys are you worthy of?”

I was furious. The six of us could at least clear a 30-person large-scale raid dungeon. How could we not even deal with one Paladin? Even if his stats, equipment, and buffs were outrageously strong, it shouldn’t be impossible to kill him even once, right?

It’s worth mentioning here that his ‘Hero’ title came with a world buff, providing absurd bonus HP and MP, incredibly high stat boosts and recovery, as well as a counter-effect against chaotic-aligned classes, immunity to crowd control, and instant-death skills.

Combined with his Paladin class, which had tanking, healing, crowd control, and damage…

Hey, when is the official team going to delete Iron Fist?

No, delete the Paladin.

“Fatty, why don’t we have a healer?”

I finally pinpointed the problem. We were all damage dealers, at most with a main tank and off-tank, but where were the healers?

“09, didn’t you say we weren’t fighting a boss and didn’t need a healer?”

“I said that?”

“You said it last night, did you forget?”

I was bewildered. Shouldn’t today be a tragic romance where the Demon King, with his minions, brutalizes the Hero?

How had it turned into a satisfying novel where the Hero soloed the Demon King?

“09, it looks like you’re finally going to fail this time. What a pity.”

I suddenly noticed many more markers on the minimap. They all bore the guild emblems of the guilds I had disbanded.

Could it be…

Danger!