Chapter 38: A Warm Diary, An Embarrassing Diary

“Ah… alright, Lady Silia.”

In the end, Esil had to raise the white flag.

With Silia’s large, sparkling eyes radiating excitement, how could she possibly refuse? She decided she would gloss over the more embarrassing and intimate parts of her journal.

After all, Silia was still too young to understand those stories.

Silia, with an excited expression, scurried off to her room and quickly returned with her own journal.

Sitting back at the round table, she placed it down triumphantly.

“Here’s my journal, Hero!”

“Ah, yes, yes.”

“Hehe, thank you for showing me yours.”

“It’s… nothing…”

Esil’s face was already growing warm, prompting her to grab a sheet of paper to fan herself.

For today, it truly felt as though summer had arrived early.

“Alright, then! I’ll read it gratefully!”

“Yes, yes. I’ll do the same…”

And so, the two began to flip through each other’s journals.

Even in modern times, Esil had never tried anything like a “journal exchange.”

While there was perhaps no better way to understand someone’s inner thoughts, the exposure of raw, unfiltered entries inevitably brought its own embarrassment.

The stories within were written without the intention of sharing, leaving them untouched and unpolished.

If Esil had planned to share hers, she might have crafted a more curated and refined narrative.

Thus, this unexpected journal exchange felt like the purest way to reveal their innermost selves.

The only comfort Esil had was knowing that Silia, being a 13-year-old noble girl from a different world, might not fully grasp much of what she’d written.

The room fell into a peaceful silence, broken only by the sound of pages turning.

Silia, swinging her feet happily, was absorbed in Esil’s journal, and Esil began to read Silia’s.

Despite her initial nervousness, Esil found herself genuinely curious about the contents.

What truths and feelings lay within the pages of the little noble girl’s diary, who carried both the innocence of youth and a surprising depth of wisdom?

As Esil turned the pages, she couldn’t help but notice that Silia wrote diligently every day.

However, as was typical of children, her entries were short, allowing the pages to fly by quickly.

Until one entry made her pause.

For the first time, Silia mentioned the “Hero.”

[Dad told me not to go outside, so I stayed in my room. But from the window, I could see the Hero. She looked so thin, so unwell. What happened to her? Dad is so mean. There are so many pretty clothes, but he made the Hero wear those.]

It seemed Silia had been watching from her window the day Esil first set foot in the Rosel estate.

The simplicity and flow of the child’s thoughts were endearing.

[Today, Dad said the Hero’s heart is hurting, so we should help her secretly. So, I sneaked out to bring her something sweet because delicious food always makes people feel better. But I made the Hero cry instead. I feel awful… I hope she doesn’t cry anymore.]

Revisiting that day through the diary stirred a wave of nostalgia in Esil.

Back then, she was too broken to accept Silia’s kindness.

And yet, the macarons Silia left behind had brought a small but undeniable sweetness to her otherwise dismal world.

It dawned on Esil once again just how pure and thoughtful this child was.

[The Hero told me about something called “comics” from her world, so I asked her to draw one for me. It was so fun! So, I asked for more. I wanted to see the Hero’s true story. I don’t believe any of the lies. Our Hero was definitely framed.]

Page by page, Esil felt her heart grow fuller.

The diary was a warm balm for her weary soul, filled with Silia’s innocent and unwavering faith.

It was the kind of belief Esil had longed for during her darkest days—something the royal court had never offered.

Since the day her life as a Hero crumbled, until now, Silia had written of her trust without a hint of doubt.

The sincerity in those words made Esil’s nose tingle with emotion.

[Today, I took a bath with the Hero! Eeee!! It was so nice! It felt like bathing with Mom. I didn’t want to leave the bathhouse—I wanted to stay there forever! I hope we do it again. Hehe. Oh, but the Hero’s chest is really big.]

Esil couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

Silia’s vivid and lively words seemed to echo in her ears as if she were right there.

The diary, filled with the pure thoughts of a young girl, was captivating.

Even in modern times, Esil had rarely been so engrossed in a book.

Now, immersed in Silia’s journal, she completely forgot about her own entries, turning page after page with a smile.

[Today, I showed the comics to the young masters and ladies. The response was, as expected, explosive! If the real story of our Hero were spread through the comics… maybe everyone would realize that story is the truth? I really hope the Hero becomes happy!]

“Happiness…”

Esil quietly repeated the word “happiness” in her mind.

Was it even right for a s*ave to feel happiness?

Although her master and the servants in the mansion treated her warmly, sharing peace and kindness seemed easy.

But if peace were to be threatened, would they not show the same venomous behavior as the royal family had?

The tyrant Brikal was someone who could shatter this peace.

Right now, everything was peaceful, but if he were to take Esil as a hostage and threaten peace, would the same betrayals from the royal family be repeated for their own survival?

The word “happiness” led her into a whirlwind of complicated thoughts.

Though she was healing through the efforts of those around her, Esil still felt insecure.

Recently, she had begun to taste the sweetness of happiness, but there was a growing anxiety in her heart—would this sweetness soon turn to bitterness again?

It was an unease that seemed to threaten the very peaceful life she had come to know.

Just like how one can fear the taste of food they already know, the pain of destruction, once experienced, lingered deep in Esil’s heart, binding her and preventing her from truly feeling happiness.

That vague anxiety now seemed to have a clear origin.

Silia’s diary had helped Esil understand where this strange anxiety had come from.

Just like how a disease can be cured when its cause is known, this anxiety could only be relieved when its source was identified.

And in a strange way, the exchange of diaries with Silia, which Esil had thought would bring no benefit, was turning out to be quite helpful.

“…Hero. Tam…pon? Magic Day? What is that?”

Of course, such is the nature of things.

Where there is gain, there is always some loss.

At Silia’s question, Esil snapped out of her thoughts and widened her eyes in surprise, her mind coming back to the present.

And soon, her pale face turned bright red.

[Ugh, everything is fine… but I really wish I had a tampon.

Whenever it’s Magic Day, I get so uncomfortable that it’s hard to focus on training…]

As if reading a comic book, Silia, with a smile on her face, twirled her hair as she flipped through Emile’s journal.

She paused on one page.

“Tampon? Magic Day?”

Silia tilted her head, trying to recall.

Magic Day did exist.

It was the day the first magic spellbook was published to the world, and June 6th, Year 368 of the continent was designated as “Magic Day.”

But the word “tampon” just didn’t come to mind, so Silia asked about it.

She wanted to help.

Tampons seemed to be quite an important item to the Hero.

“Ah, well, it’s… uh…”

Esil stammered, unsure how to explain the item she had written about in her journal, unsure if anyone would even read it.

It was her longing for the tampons she had used in the modern world, but she wasn’t sure how to explain it.

Her face was burning bright red.

“Why? Please feel free to explain. I want to help! It seems like an important item.”

“…Ah, well, it’s important, but I can’t get it here.”

“Aw, that’s a shame. But what is it? This day isn’t even Magic Day.”

The entry had been written on April 13th, two months after Magic Day.

Esil racked her brain.

“Well, it’s… uh… a tampon is a, uh, a… hemostatic tool.”

“A hemostatic tool? Like bandages?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Ah~ I see.”

Esil, thinking she had narrowly avoided disaster, smiled in relief and nodded.

It wasn’t exactly a wrong explanation, after all. A hemostatic tool used on Magic Day.

This world’s foundation was based on the “Medieval European Era.”

In an era where menstruation was taboo, women would either let the menstrual blood flow freely or place a linen cloth on their lower half to absorb it.

Because of this, many noblewomen’s dresses were in shades of red.

For Emile, who had come from the modern world, this was undoubtedly unhygienic.

She couldn’t even begin to express how much she missed tampons and sanitary pads.

Though she had become accustomed to using linen cloths by now, it was still extremely uncomfortable back then.

“Sigh… perfect.”

Once Silia understood what a tampon was, she asked again.

“So, what is Magic Day? Is there a Magic Day in the Hero’s world too?”

“Ah, that… is menstruation.”

“Menstruation? You call it Magic Day?”

“Yes, yes. In our world, menstruation is still considered an embarrassing matter, so we refer to it indirectly.”

Silia, seemingly fascinated, spoke.

“It’s embarrassing, but it’s such a pretty word. Calling menstruation Magic Day… heh, it sounds nice.”

“Is that so…?”

“I hope Magic Day starts soon for me too…!”

“…It’s better to start later. It’s really uncomfortable and painful…”

“But, it means I’m becoming an adult, right? I’ve heard some of my friends have already started… Heh.”

“Do you want to become an adult soon?”

At Esil’s question, Silia nodded without hesitation.

Children always dream of becoming adults.

To live a life free from control, and to take responsibility for their own lives instead of relying on their parents.

Knowing this well, Esil smiled warmly.

“I wish you, Lady Silia, would stay just as you are.”

Having tasted the bitterest of life’s hardships, Esil said that, but Silia firmly shook her head twice.

“Heh, no! I want to debut in society, fall in love with a handsome man…! And, um, hold hands…! Maybe even kiss…!”

“Ah.”

Esil smiled knowingly, as if she had realized something.

It seemed that Lady Silia was not interested in freedom or responsibility, but rather in wanting love.

Before her debut into society, love was forbidden, so it was no wonder.

Silia, noticing Esil’s response, leaned forward on the table with shining eyes.

“Hero, have you ever kissed…?!”

Silia, suddenly asking about physical contact.

At 13, children begin to awaken to matters of s*x, so it was no surprise that Silia was curious.

But today, Esil felt like she might just have to wipe away some tears.

Avoiding Silia’s gaze, Esil muttered softly like a sinner.

“…A, a holy Hero doesn’t do things like kissing…”

“Then, what about in your original world?! You were an adult, right? Adults always have a partner…!”

“Ah, well, I was too busy back then…”

Silia pulled back in disappointment, her expectant eyes quickly turning cold.

Having seen the self-portrait of the original world that Esil had drawn, she thought she might have experienced love.

Though her face was a little awkward, she had been very beautiful.

“…Hero, you didn’t have a boyfriend?”

“I didn’t… no.”

“Really?”

“I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“…Just… didn’t.”

“Really…? No?”

“No.”

“S-sorry. I can’t believe it…”

Sniff.

“No, it’s fine…”

Today, the virgin Hero Emilia had to sniffle twice.