Running Before He Lets Go

Woo Jaeyoung doesn’t believe me.

When I honestly told him about the possession, he didn’t cut me off or openly treat me like I was insane.

But that was all.

I was quick to notice things.

From expressions, glances, small gestures—I could piece together what someone was feeling.

It was a survival skill I’d learned from a time when I had to constantly read others to get by.

‘As long as you stay by my side, that’s enough.’

That was all he wanted.

As if that alone satisfied him, he quietly watched me in silence.

That silence scared me.

Even more so because it didn’t come from trust or understanding.

I hadn’t said it because I wanted him to believe me.

Even to my own ears, it sounded absurd.

I just didn’t want to carry the guilt of deceiving him alone.

But the moment I saw his reaction, I realized—surprisingly—that I was disappointed.

I had wanted him to believe me.

Even if the whole world called me crazy, I had foolishly expected him to be different.

At the very least, I thought he’d ask why I thought that way.

The Woo Jaeyoung I knew was realistic, cold, rational.

If I could just persuade him with a reasonable explanation—

“Ah.”

Right.

My situation wasn’t reasonable.

Even I doubted myself three times a day, wondering if I’d simply gone insane.

If even I couldn’t convince myself, how could I ever earn his trust?

“But I’m really not…”

If I kept insisting on this, when would his patience run out?

When would he start doubting me, get annoyed, try to push me away?

Would he abandon me?

I didn’t want that.

If even Woo Jaeyoung gave up on me, I felt like I’d truly become a lost child in this world—someone who couldn’t even remember who they were.

So I ran.

Cowardly, maybe—but before things became something I couldn’t handle, I made the decision alone and walked out of that house.

If I let go first, at least I wouldn’t have to feel like I was the one being abandoned.

“Hey… um… are you okay?”

I had been sitting blankly at the bus stop when someone spoke to me.

A man stood over me, covered in piercings—so many in his ears I couldn’t even count, with the same glittering metal in his eyebrows and nose.

He gave off a free-spirited, slightly delinquent vibe.

“Wow, you’ve got a pretty face, but you’re soaked. Even if it’s getting warmer, you’ll get sick like that. Summer colds are no joke.”

I stared up at him blankly. He casually held out an umbrella.

It was just as flashy as his appearance—colorful, patterned, and clearly expensive.

“I’m okay…”

“Don’t be like that. Take it.”

“It looks expensive.”

“It is, but whatever.”

Well… around here, worrying about money was almost meaningless.

People who lived in these neatly built houses on both sides of the hill—with chauffeurs, no less—weren’t the type to care about the price of an umbrella.

“If you give me your address, I’ll return it later.”

I didn’t want to come back here, but who knew what could happen.

At my words, the man laughed.

“I’m hardly ever home. Just bring it to my shop instead. It’s in Nonhyeon-dong.”

He naturally handed me a business card from a tailor shop.

Even the card—embossed with gold patterns—looked expensive, so I quickly took it before rain could hit it and tucked it carefully into my pocket.

Sensing my discomfort, he stepped away, leaving me alone again.

The street at dawn was dark.

The rain still fell.

With nowhere to go, I sat beneath a dim signboard, uselessly tracing where each bus might go.

Would Woo Jaeyoung be angry at how pathetic and directionless I was?

Should I just go to a hospital and swallow whatever pills they gave me—maybe then my memories would come back?

Did it even mean anything to separate myself from ‘Yoo Sowon’ when I didn’t even know who I was?

Ah… it would be easier if I really were ‘Yoo Sowon.’

Then I wouldn’t have to worry.

I wouldn’t have to think.

For the first time, I resented that strange sense of certainty that had been with me since the beginning of my memories.

How much time passed like that?

Even when a foreign car glided to a stop across from the bus stop, I didn’t pay it any attention.

I didn’t even wonder why it had stopped on the roadside instead of a parking area.

But then a boy stepped out of the back seat.

Covering his head with both hands, he awkwardly crossed the six-lane road without regard for traffic.

That… was a little strange.

Why leave a perfectly good car and come to a bus stop?

There aren’t even any buses running this late.

“Hyung? Sowon hyung.”

The boy’s face lit up the moment our eyes met.
His bright, sparkling smile faltered when I asked, blankly,

“…Who?”

“Uh…”

Still in his school uniform, he fidgeted nervously.
The joy and excitement vanished from his face, replaced with disappointment.

“…So you really don’t acknowledge me outside, huh. I thought you just said that to make me prepare myself… but still, right now, there’s no one around. Look. I even sent the driver away. So just for a moment…”

“…”

“Sowon hyung. I really missed you. You’re my real family.”

No. No, no.

Wait.

“What are you—”

Hyung? Real family? Pretending not to know?

A sudden, out-of-nowhere family secret hit me like a truck.

I waved my hands in panic.

Whatever this was—it wasn’t something I remembered.

While I hesitated, the boy seemed to take it as me sticking to the decision not to acknowledge him.

Even so, he grabbed my hand tightly.

“But I never promised anything, so I’ll just say it. You just listen, hyung. Someone had to tell you this… so since I met you like this, I’ll do it.”

I couldn’t interrupt him.

Holding his grip, I listened—and for the first time, I fully understood how Woo Jaeyoung must have felt when I forced him to listen to my story.

“I know why you pretend not to know us. You want to cut off the past and live happily in your new house, right?

Especially with people like me who left—you act even colder on purpose. I know that.

I’ve seen how our soft-hearted hyung feels guilty for days after, how you cry because you miss us.”

“…”

“But, Sowon hyung… Won hyung… we care about you just as much as this house where we’re well-fed, warm, and can dream about the future.”

“…”

“You’re not someone we can just cut off like nothing ever happened. I don’t want to go back, but I always missed you.

I always thought about you. Wondered if you were doing well… if you were as happy as we are… if you still—”

His voice trembled.

“—still don’t want anything.”

Just as I tried to pull my hand away, he grabbed my wrist again with surprising strength.

As if this might be the only chance, he poured everything out.

“Six months. Hyung, I’ll be an adult in six months. My father said he’d give me an officetel near my university.

The school you go to—I’m seriously studying like crazy to get in there. It’s got two rooms!”

Two rooms.

Eyes full of hope.

It was obvious what he wanted.

“…You want to live together?”

Wow. Yoo Sowon really had it easy.

Just sitting on the street, and people show up asking to live with him.

“Yeah. Haneul hyung lives nearby too. You don’t like being alone, right? Who does? Stop being stubborn… come with me.”

He pulled at my arm urgently. I stumbled to my feet.

The colorful umbrella slipped from my arm and hit the ground, splashing rain everywhere.

I couldn’t follow him. But I couldn’t say no either.

The words I should go back rose to my throat—then sank again.

Go back where? I had just run away. But running didn’t give me any answers either.

Should I accept help from someone not even twenty?

Or step back and stay cautious?

My thoughts spun wildly.

Luckily—or unluckily—my dilemma didn’t last long.

Thud.

The boy was suddenly knocked to the ground.

He stared up at me, wide-eyed in shock after being punched in the face.

Wait—that wasn’t me.

I turned, stunned, toward the man who had thrown the punch.

Dressed in black, drenched in rain, blood, and the smell of cigarettes—his eyes burned as he snarled.

“What the hell are you, you bastard.”

It was Woo Jaeyoung.