I Tell Him Everything—Except How I Feel

“Oh Jaeyeol… came again?”

Jeongha asked, frowning.

Haeyoon slowly nodded, then quickly added.

“But nothing, nothing happened.

He just… just uselessly….”

“I know.

What are you explaining that for?”

“……?”

“Were you worried I might misunderstand something like that?”

Jeongha pouted playfully.

Inside, he was furious at the shameless bastard, but he didn’t want to show that side of him to Haeyoon, who wasn’t feeling well.

Haeyoon let out a small sigh of relief.

It wasn’t that he was worried about being misunderstood.

It’s just.

“It wasn’t because I was worried you’d misunderstand….”

It’s just, Haeyoon.

“I just want to tell you everything… whatever it is, without hiding anything.”

He wanted to tell Baek Jeongha everything, without hiding anything.

That was all.

“…Okay.

You did well.”

Jeongha answered, barely suppressing his surging emotions.

If he let his heart open even a little, words that would burden Haeyoon would come spilling out.

It was a feeling that would eventually explode, but now wasn’t the time.

“You must have been really surprised, but you came anyway… thank you so much.”

To Haeyoon, who was thanking him for something so natural, Jeongha spoke playfully.

“If you’re grateful, then stop getting sick.

Before I have to keep you under surveillance by moving into the studio, surprise gift or not.”

“Yeah.

I will.”

A smile had already formed on Haeyoon’s lips as he answered obediently.

It was a smile that closely resembled Baek Jeongha’s.

* * * *

“Ugh…….”

Jaeyeol woke up with a splitting headache.

The sunlight streaming through the curtains felt like it was stabbing his eyes.

Just sitting up on the bed made him nauseous.

It had been a long time since he’d had a headache this bad.

“I knew this would happen.”

As he tried to collect himself, head bowed, a familiar presence approached and spoke.

He knew who it was without looking.

It was Ahn Seonwoo, Oh Jaeyeol’s Omega and lifelong partner.

“It’s the weekend, but how much did you drink?

Didn’t we promise to cut back on drinking?”

It sounded like a scolding, but her voice wasn’t sharp.

That was a relief.

Right now, Jaeyeol didn’t want any kind of argument with Ahn Seonwoo.

Jaeyeol hurriedly spoke, his voice tight.

“Sorry.

I met a friend I haven’t seen in a while… I couldn’t say no.”

“Drink this first.”

Just then, a steaming cup was pushed in front of him.

A sweet, fragrant scent hit his nose.

Only then did Jaeyeol turn his head and look up at Seonwoo.

Ahn Seonwoo had the face of a caring lover.

“I made some honey water, try it.

You look really rough right now, hyung.”

In that moment, a feeling of guilt bloomed in Jaeyeol’s heart.

His hangover was severe from drinking, but he hadn’t drunk enough to black out, so the events of yesterday remained vividly in his memory.

He had desperately missed Seo Haeyoon, as if he were going crazy.

It felt like abandoning Haeyoon was an incredibly wrong choice, and he felt like he was going to burst.

‘You married a lovely Omega, started a happy family, and you’ll even have the child you wanted so badly… what hurts?’

_’So from now on, things like this… tell Seonwoo, not me.’*

Haeyoon’s words had haunted him all night, stabbing his heart.

It was only a moment, but when he had grabbed Haeyoon’s wrist, Jaeyeol had recalled the past, when he could hold him freely.

The familiar scent of paint, once tiresome, now felt stimulating.

He couldn’t remember why he had wanted to end his relationship with Seo Haeyoon, why he had wanted to break up.

The intense desire to get it back, fueled by alcohol, consumed his body and mind.

So Jaeyeol had been hurt the moment Haeyoon coldly pushed him away.

On the way home, Jaeyeol had thought of the sweet days with Seo Haeyoon.

He felt pathetic for having ruined it all with his own hands.

And while he had been suffering and struggling with those feelings, Seonwoo had probably been waiting for him alone in their quiet newlywed home, worried.

“…Thank you.”

Jaeyeol said as he took the cup Seonwoo offered.

Taking a sip, his churning stomach seemed to settle slightly.

After quietly looking down at the rippling surface, Jaeyeol set the cup on the nightstand, pulled Seonwoo’s hand, and embraced him.

“What’s this, first thing in the morning?”

Even at the sudden action, Ahn Seonwoo let out a light laugh and obediently leaned in.

That intimacy gently wrapped around Jaeyeol’s wounded heart from the night before.

Resting his forehead on Seonwoo’s belly and taking a deep breath, Seonwoo’s naturally released pheromones filled Jaeyeol’s lungs.

Feeling Seonwoo’s hand gently stroking his head, Jaeyeol spoke.

“Seonwoo, you love me, right?”

“What’s with you, really?

Did something happen?”

At Seonwoo’s puzzled voice, Jaeyeol shook his head.

“No.

Just… I wanted to hear it after a long time.”

The love between Oh Jaeyeol and Ahn Seonwoo had been full of ups and downs.

They had come this far with a curse, like a tag, saying they would surely be unhappy.

Jaeyeol composed himself by recalling the memories of the intense process.

Regret?

No way.

He wouldn’t act stupid and pathetic anymore.

As Haeyoon said, he would live happily with Ahn Seonwoo, and he wouldn’t miss Haeyoon anymore.

“Of course I love you.”

Hearing Seonwoo’s affectionate confession, Jaeyeol closed his eyes.

_’I really… love you so much, hyung.’*

Even in that moment, Haeyoon’s voice, which had knocked on his heart as lovingly as spring sunshine, came to mind.

Jaeyeol decided not to concern himself with that fact.

* * * *

What to do, he felt so sorry for him.

At the very moment Jaeyeol was struggling to shake off his feelings for Seo Haeyoon, this was what Ahn Seonwoo was thinking.

Seonwoo’s eyes, as he confessed with a voice full of love, were coldly calm.

On Ahn Seonwoo’s finger, as he gently stroked Jaeyeol’s head, the ring Jaeyeol didn’t know about still sparkled.

Releasing pheromones to calm the Alpha, Seonwoo spoke in the voice of a very caring lover.

“If your stomach is really bad, do you want to sleep a little more?”

Jaeyeol pulled back and shook his head.

“No.

I should wash up and eat something.

Want to go out for a meal after a long time?”

“I’m fine with that.

Then hurry up and wash.

I’ll get ready too.”

Seonwoo’s expression, which had been consistently kind, only broke after Jaeyeol went into the bathroom.

As if he had never been whispering love to his spouse, Seonwoo’s expression was utterly emotionless.

“Tiresome.”

Seonwoo slumped onto the bed, pouting and grumbling.

He was literally tired of it all.

This house, Oh Jaeyeol, and even pretending to love him.

Seonwoo’s heart was already with Baek Jeongha.

He wanted to share mornings like this with Baek Jeongha.

Just imagining waking a deeply sleeping Jeongha was so wonderful his toes tingled.

Lately, Ahn Seonwoo’s mind was filled only with thoughts of divorcing Oh Jaeyeol, and of Baek Jeongha.

How could he get a divorce quickly, comfortably, without difficult problems?

Afraid of getting caught on some technicality, he had been pretending to be a good spouse, but perhaps it would be faster to act out more so Oh Jaeyeol would get sick of him.

“…He likes me that much.”

But seeing Oh Jaeyeol’s state, he worried that might not be easy either.

How could such a desperate love, discarding a lifelong lover to choose her, disappear so easily?

Jaeyeol’s voice, asking so earnestly if she loved him, lingered in her ears.

At the same time, he also thought of Baek Jeongha’s face, patiently enduring Seo Haeyoon while waiting for Ahn Seonwoo to get a divorce.

Receiving the affection of two men was such a heavy thing.

Blaming his own sinfulness, Seonwoo rose with a bright smile.

For today, he planned to enjoy being loved by Jaeyeol to his heart’s content.

* * * *

– You really ate a proper meal, right?

At the chattering voice through the phone, a smile played on Haeyoon’s lips.

He was clearly being nagged, but instead of annoying him, it made him happy.

Haeyoon’s gentle eyes, imbued with warmth, scanned the canvas before him.

He really liked this moment, talking to Baek Jeongha in front of this painting.

“Yeah, I really ate.

I’m eating well because I don’t want to put you through that again like last time.”

– Well, I don’t really mind the hard work, but anyway… getting sick is forbidden.

When do you think you’ll be done?

Haeyoon looked up at the clock on the wall.

“It shouldn’t take much longer….”

– Should I come pick you up?

His voice asking was perfectly natural.

Lately, unless Jeongha had a special schedule, he would always pick Haeyong up and they would go home together.

Having never been treated so preciously in his life, Haeyoon sometimes felt strange.

Even Jaeyeol, who was his lover, didn’t treat him like this, so was it okay to be treated like this by Jeongha, who wasn’t even his lover?

That was the kind of question.

But afraid that trying to define this relationship might actually distance him from Jeongha, Haeyoon always gave up thinking deeply about it at this point.

“Then… will you come to the studio in the evening?

I’ll tell you the exact time later.”

– Okay.

Nothing you need?

“No.

Just come carefully.”

When had Baek Jeongha decided to be so kind to him?

And when had Seo Haeyoon become so accustomed to Baek Jeongha’s kindness?

Trying not to show how difficult these ever-more-complicated questions were, Haeyoon ended the call and again carefully examined the vast universe before him.

The piece that would be the centerpiece of artist “Seohae”‘s first exhibition was almost complete.

All that remained was finishing work unrelated to the overall silhouette, so the world he wanted to show with this piece was practically finished.

“Haa…….”

The sigh that escaped him was heavy with tension.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine how this piece would look to Baek Jeongha.

That was right.

Today, Haeyoon was planning to show him this painting.