The Unspoken Weight

“It’s fine, really. Shall we draw lots now?” Shen Xian’s lips curved into a faint smile, her tone indistinguishable from her usual demeanor.

Of course, this was only to outsiders. Zhuang Xun, however, knew at a glance when Shen Xian was sulking. Like now.

Zhuang Xun noticed Tao Si’s gaze lingering on them before quickly retracting. Zhuang Xun offered a polite, slight smile. “The lots are here. Which of you will draw?”

Zhuang Xun felt a gaze fall upon her. “Zhuang Xun, Junior, would you like to draw?” Tao Si offered.

Zhuang Xun glanced at Shen Xian from the corner of her eye. Seeing that her senior remained silent, she nodded and extended her hand.

Zhuang Xun stared at the lot in her hand. It named the item they needed to retrieve: a red ribbon tied to a tree.

She walked slightly behind Shen Xian as they headed into the designated area. Shen Xian said nothing, and neither did she. The atmosphere solidified between them.

Zhuang Xun considered how to break the silence several times but ultimately swallowed her words. She hadn’t expected her senior to sulk this long over being stopped from eating spicy food. She had thought about messaging Senior Ning Qi for advice but didn’t want to bother her with such a trivial matter. Especially since bothering her might only lead to a barrage of teasing.

Yet, given the choice, even if she could return to that moment, Zhuang Xun wouldn’t regret her decision. She would still stop Shen Xian from eating that skewer.

“What item are we supposed to find according to the lot?”

Zhuang Xun’s head snapped up. Shen Xian pushed aside the leaves of a bush in front of them and looked at her.

Zhuang Xun hesitated for a moment, then handed over the slip of paper.

Shen Xian said nothing, simply taking it calmly from her hand. “A red ribbon? Tied to a tree?” she questioned, a hint of confusion in her voice.

Zhuang Xun opened her mouth, seizing the opportunity to speak first.

“Senior.”

“Hm?”

“Are you very angry?”

“No.”

Zhuang Xun took two steps forward. “Are you really not, Senior?”

Zhuang Xun stood at the bottom of a slight incline, looking up to meet Shen Xian’s gaze. Their eyes met.

“No.”

Zhuang Xun stared intently at Shen Xian, assessing the truth of her words. After a prolonged stare-down, it was Shen Xian who broke first.

Shen Xian looked toward a nearby tree branch, then turned back to Zhuang Xun, speaking seriously. “I’m not angry. No, to be precise, I am angry. But I’m not angry at you, Little Zhuang Xun.”

Zhuang Xun remained silent. Shen Xian walked toward her, scratching her cheek with a troubled expression. “How should I put this…”

Zhuang Xun slowly lowered her head to meet Shen Xian’s gaze, but Shen Xian’s eyes partially averted hers.

“I know I shouldn’t eat it, but I still wanted to. Being called out by you just made me feel like I needed more looking after than you do.”

Shen Xian’s words were like a small pebble dropped into a calm lake. Even though it created only the tiniest ripple, it stirred a considerable swell within Zhuang Xun’s heart.

Zhuang Xun froze, her pupils dilating slightly. “Senior, I…”

“You’re younger than me, and you’re the new junior member of the department. Of course I’m the one who has to look after you.”

Junior member… Zhuang Xun’s eyes darkened.

The words pierced Zhuang Xun’s heart like a thorn. She had nearly forgotten that her senior looked after her precisely because she was her ‘junior member.’ Everything Shen Xian did was based on their unequal status. She should have realized it sooner.

Zhuang Xun’s lips curved faintly. On her already cool face, a hint of sorrow now appeared in her smile.

“Senior, you have more experience than me. Naturally, I’ll need to consult you more when dealing with monsters in the future. For trivial matters like this, just consider it me seeking your guidance, Senior.”

Zhuang Xun should have known to rein in her feelings sooner.

She had indeed harbored selfish thoughts. She wanted to use this new identity to get closer to her senior. Unrequited love was inherently cautious, and she had been careful for three years. But this situation was an opportunity. She knew that if she were to ever hope for a response to her humble feelings, even the slightest hint of a chance would make her want to fight for it.

However, Zhuang Xun also understood that if their identities remained merely senior and junior, mentor and mentee, there would be no progress. And that boundary was, in this moment, firmly pinned to a post by Shen Xian’s lighthearted words.

Zhuang Xun no longer looked at Shen Xian. She took a step, walking past her, her voice calm. “Senior, let’s hurry.”

The moonlight filtering through the leaves, illuminating the ground and their bodies, seemed to serve as a harsh reminder.

I am too greedy.

After taking only two steps, her hand was tightly grasped by fingers carrying a hint of coolness.

Just as she turned her head, a figure leaned in close. Shen Xian stood on her tiptoes, pressing her forehead against Zhuang Xun’s. Her hand remained tightly clasped around her junior’s.

Zhuang Xun’s hand trembled for a moment. She should have pushed her away. But what if she accidentally hurt her senior by doing so?

Shen Xian’s pink pupils reflected the slight hint of grievance on Zhuang Xun’s face.

“Zhuang Xun.”

This was the first time Shen Xian had called her by her name so seriously.

“Don’t be sad.”

Zhuang Xun’s eyelashes fluttered.

“I won’t sulk by myself again next time.”

After saying this, Shen Xian straightened up, looking at her earnestly.

Zhuang Xun paused, the confession she wanted to say once again swallowed back down. She forced a smile. “Alright. That’s a promise, Senior.”

“Then let’s go!” Shen Xian pulled Zhuang Xun’s hand, pointing in a direction and stepping forward confidently.

Zhuang Xun was led by Shen Xian, and though it should have been a very happy moment, it now felt somewhat desolate. Zhuang Xun gazed at Shen Xian’s retreating figure. Even the most ordinary sentence from her could make her heart tremble.

How could she let go of her greed?

“Little Zhuang Xun! Look at that, isn’t that what we’re looking for?”

Shen Xian turned her head, her face beaming with the joy of finding treasure. Her smile was like sunshine, dazzling even beneath the moonlight.

Zhuang Xun followed the direction of Shen Xian’s finger. At the top of the incline, a large tree bore a red ribbon fluttering in the wind.

Zhuang Xun nodded. “Yes.”

“In that case, let’s hurry over!” Shen Xian exclaimed, extremely excited.

“Okay.”

My senior will never know my true thoughts. I hope she never knows.

“Wait a moment.” Zhuang Xun, quick as a flash, pulled Shen Xian behind the trunk of a large, nearby tree.

Shen Xian, encircled in Zhuang Xun’s embrace against the bark, looked up and whispered, “What’s wrong?”

Zhuang Xun’s gaze swept over the two figures standing beneath the tree with the red ribbon. One of the figures was very familiar. It was Tao Si, the senior they had been chatting with earlier today.

Zhuang Xun pressed a finger to her own lips, silently indicating, Senior, don’t make a sound yet.

Shen Xian nodded quickly.

After seeing Shen Xian’s reaction, Zhuang Xun withdrew the hand she had placed on the tree trunk, signaling with her eyes for Shen Xian to look toward the tree with the red ribbon.

“Yin Ning?”

When Zhuang Xun heard the name slip from Shen Xian’s lips, a figure suddenly surfaced in her mind. It was the female friend who had called out to Tao Si when they first arrived to browse around. The two of them… apparently weren’t on the same team for this activity.

Why were they both here?

“Tao Si, why would you do this?”