“Hey, no. No way. Didn’t he say he was older than us? So, ‘hyung-nim’?”
“Damn, ‘hyung-nim,’ he says. That’s utterly cringeworthy. Why is this bastard acting like this today? Why is he being so overly dramatic?”
“Oh, why? The homeroom teacher just said it. To get along with each other if possible. So I just greeted him first, why are you being such a jerk, you idiot?”
“You son of a b*tch, who are you calling an idiot? He’s the one who was acting all ridiculous by himself. Hey, agree? Oh, agreed.”
As expected, the morons who had prematurely tried to bond with me during the self-introduction earlier now openly acknowledged me as I settled into the very last seat of section four.
Yet, even as they puffed out their chests and tried to act important, they couldn’t conceal their inherent shabbiness. The sleeves of their various outdoor brand parkas were all stained black with grime, making it seem impossible for them to regain their original color even if sent to a dry cleaner.
It was evident how many times they had passed these second-hand clothes among themselves, each garment looking similar, yet they still loudly squabbled over whose was whose, spitting as they argued.
To be honest, I didn’t particularly care for this type of person. Especially those who, armed with nothing but the stubborn arrogance typical of adolescence, act as if they are someone important, forming a strange hierarchy in class and manipulating the atmosphere as they please.
Even within the groups formed by those born with every advantage, a clear hierarchy exists, but it’s never as contemptible or trivial as the one these guys had established.
At the very least, those people stood on equal footing with me, shoulder to shoulder.
“’Hyung,’ what? Just speak comfortably. Everyone at my previous school did.”
“Really? Then I’ll just speak comfortably from now on? Is that okay?”
“Damn, this guy. He just drops the formalities as if he’d been waiting for permission. So cool.”
“What, you idiot? He told me to speak comfortably.”
Still, within this class, these bastards were the only ones worth associating with. No matter how insignificant and pathetic their existence, if I were to hang out with poor, spineless nerds who lacked even this level of arrogance, my own life would become equally dull.
Furthermore, school life is never meant to be navigated alone. Regardless of the circumstances, it was always more advantageous to belong to a group in society than to remain an individual. So, this was nothing. Such a small humiliation.
After all, no matter how much these guys puffed up their chests and pretended to be tough, they and I had started life from entirely different positions since birth.
They probably didn’t even dream of such a fact.
*Thud*
“?”
Just as we were chuckling and exchanging information about the upcoming class and the teacher who would be leading it, in the distant corner, at the very last seat of section one, an enormous figure was rummaging through a drawer, searching for a textbook, their shoulders hunched.
I should mention now that I myself am quite large. From a young age, I was exceptionally fond of soccer, and having played as a youth soccer player for many years after returning to Korea, I was considerably more robust than my peers.
At my previous school, there were only a few students taller than me, perhaps one or two at most. I was always assigned the very last seat in a section whenever a new school year began, regardless of the school.
So, for me to be momentarily surprised, the student sitting in the last seat of section one had to be truly tall. Was it his large frame, perhaps? He didn’t seem to have specialized in sports, but you know how people say it.
Some are just born with a skeletal structure different from ordinary people. Moreover, the guy’s hair, which seemed utterly unkempt, front or back, was shaggy and long, covering his eyebrows and even reaching the bridge of his nose, obscuring more than half of his face.
His school uniform was noticeably too small for his frame, making the seams appear dangerously strained and on the verge of bursting whenever he shifted his body. The chest and shoulder areas looked precarious, as if they might rip open at any moment.
However, what truly made his presence stand out was his peculiar nature: despite his immense size, he was easily startled and recoiled at the slightest thing.
“That mute idiot?”
“What?”
“Because you’ve been staring at that guy for a while. Over there, the last seat in section one.”
In every corner of the world, among the rowdy types, there are always a few who are particularly nasty. The guy who now approached me, casually pointing to the large student with his chin, was precisely that kind of person: Jeong Yu-shin.
As if he had been waiting for my reaction to the large student, he let out a vulgar laugh, dismissing the student’s existence with the derogatory term, ‘mute idiot.’
“That guy is totally clueless, you know? He stutters too. And I heard his family is dirt poor. You know, how every year, the school provides old uniforms or free supplementary textbooks to basic livelihood recipients? That guy accepts them without any shame, apparently.”
“……”
“And he’s so gloomy, it’s unbelievable. Anyway, whenever I see that guy, I get inexplicably annoyed. His size is needlessly huge, and he’s a total nuisance when walking through the hallways. Last time, he even dared to look down on me, the nerve! Damn it, I’m going to get him someday. Just you wait.”
‘Basic livelihood recipient,’ huh. From my perspective, there was no real difference between the guy sitting over there and Jeong Yu-shin, who was incessantly running his mouth in front of me.
Judging by his appearance and behavior, Jeong Yu-shin was arguably worse than the guy at the end of the section, certainly not better. Indeed, was this what they called self-hatred?
“Damn it, you idiot! I can hear everything you’re saying about me right now. So why are you pretending you don’t? Are you ignoring me, huh?”
As Jeong Yu-shin finally stood up, looking as if he might strike at any moment, the large student bit his lip tightly, hunching his broad shoulders and pressing even closer to the wall. Judging by his reaction, he seemed to be waiting for the situation to pass quickly.
However, that very reaction seemed to make Jeong Yu-shin feel ignored. From that moment on, the utterly worthless delinquent began throwing erasers, mechanical pencils, notebooks, and all sorts of things at the large student, spewing insults.
Even in that moment, the large student didn’t utter a single groan. It seemed as if this unfair situation had been ongoing for years; he appeared more accustomed to being treated so miserably.
“Haa, ha, damn it. You, consider yourself lucky today.”
It was the class bell, of all things, that finally diffused the classroom’s icy atmosphere. When the bell rang, the subject teacher would enter, and it seemed even the most audacious student wouldn’t openly resort to violence against a classmate in front of a teacher.
Doing so would only add more burdens to an already difficult situation.
“Hey.”
“Oh, what?”
“Shut up and sit down.”
So, was it the same for them over there? I wondered. And I decided I needed to properly put Jeong Yu-shin in his place, as he kept buzzing around noisily, oblivious to his own standing.
“Because of you, I’m going to get cursed at too.”
One mistake was enough. Being transferred from school as if expelled, enduring my father’s torment throughout that process, and becoming a laughingstock among relatives—all of it was enough for one lifetime.
On the very first day of transfer, I needed to avoid being interrogated or suspected by the homeroom teacher for something I hadn’t even done.
Although the old man’s warnings meant I wouldn’t escalate the situation significantly right now, I also couldn’t just sweep through it as if it were my territory. While it was fine to blend in to some extent, there was no need to join these idiots in bullying a classmate.
“You son of a b*tch.”
That would be like placing my own ankle on a de-pinned landmine.
****
“Hey, did you say something harsh again without me knowing? Why is his reaction like that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He suddenly went off on his own, calling me a f*cking bastard.”
Just before the class bell rang and the subject teacher entered the classroom, I casually shot a glance at Jeong Yu-shin in front of me and muttered, ‘f*cking bastard.’ Immediately, the expression of the guy who had been feeling superior to a mere stutterer crumpled.
Unaware of why I had suddenly turned serious and cursed, the surrounding guys silently rolled their eyes for a long time, the tension stretched taut like a drawn string. Just then, the subject teacher entered the classroom, and the commotion subsided.
As if the report file the subject teacher slammed onto the blackboard had been a fuse, Jeong Yu-shin, who had barely regained his composure, quickly turned around and, along with another moron who was his deskmate, intentionally glanced towards the seat behind me, muttering.
“See, there’s a reason he transferred to the second year of high school, and at the end of the semester at that. Didn’t I tell you that guy would be a total psycho?”
“Damn lunatic, what if he hears you? Shut up and look forward.”
I heard everything, you rotten bastards.
Instead of grabbing the hair of the guys in front of me, I lowered myself, leaning forward, and tapped the edge of my desk with my finger. Beyond where my fingertip pointed sat the problematic large student.
The commotion had died down, and the teacher was safely in the classroom, so no one would openly scold him for now. Yet, what was he so afraid of? He wouldn’t easily lift his head, peeking only at the crucial points the teacher emphasized at the front of the class, like a clam peeking its head out of its shell.
But even amidst that, his diligent note-taking was amusing. So, I let the subject teacher’s words go in one ear and out the other, focusing solely on the worn-out ballpoint pen he clutched tightly.