You Can Tell By the Eyes

“Seoha-neul hyung!”

Seo Haneul lifted the boy who had thrown himself at him into a hug.

The kid was still thin and light. He wrapped both arms tightly around his back and pressed close.

Maybe because he had shown up without any warning, the laughter in his voice trembled slightly.

“Hyung, it’s really you? It’s really Haneul hyung?”

“Then what, you think I’m fake? Look.”

He adjusted Yoo Sowon in his arms with a little heave and lowered his head.

“Real, right?”

“Yeah. You’re real.”

“Aigoo, our Yoo Sowon. It feels like just yesterday you were tiny enough to carry with one arm, and now you’ve grown up and gotten heavy?”

“When was that? That’s so long ago I can’t even entertain it.”

Yoo Sowon frowned, then burst into laughter again.

“But what brings you here?”

“Oh? That hurts my feelings.”

“Did I come somewhere I shouldn’t?”

“I came back to my hometown first to celebrate being discharged.”

“Hometown…”

Yoo Sowon shook his head as though he’d heard a ridiculous joke.

“When you put it like that, it sounds like we actually grew up somewhere decent.”

“What’s so bad about it?”

“You and I both grew up here.”

“No, actually, you didn’t grow much.”

“What’s this?”

“You got even skinnier.”

“Who was it that just said I got heavy?”

Yoo Sowon grabbed both of Seo Haneul’s cheeks with his hands.

His fingertips brushed against skin that had become rougher and firmer.

Only after confirming that unfamiliar yet familiar warmth did he hug him again.

“Why’d you get so big, Haneul hyung?”

“Alphas grow more after awakening.”

“Haven’t you heard of secondary maturation?”

Seo Haneul had awakened as an Alpha while in the military.

Among awakened trait-holders, he was considered pretty late, and Yoo Sowon had heard from Kim Sol that he’d suffered a lot because of it.

He really did seem a whole head taller than the Seo Haneul in his memories.

“I wanna grow too.”

“It’d make physical work easier.”

“If you’re jealous, awaken as an Alpha too.”

“Haha, but you recognized me right away.”

“Want to bet whether Kim Sol recognizes me or not?”

Yoo Sowon dropped from his arms and frowned.

“How could we not recognize you?”

“We’d know even if you wore a mask and pretended to be a robber, so don’t go around doing bad things.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Our Won worries about me day and night. Hyung knows that.”

“I saved up a lot from my salary. Want me to buy you dinner? Anything you wanna eat?”

“No thanks.”

As they walked home together, Kim Sol happened to come out looking for Yoo Sowon.

Spotting the two of them, she said flatly,

“Dinner’s ready.”

“We only need one more set of utensils, so Haneul oppa can sit too.”

“Looks like Sowon won.”

“Seriously, why were you even making bets?”

Kim Sol, whose eyes were still a little red, tilted her head in confusion.

She seemed surprised by Seo Haneul’s sudden appearance, but her happiness quickly won out and she smiled too.

“Let’s see~ Excuse me.”

Seo Haneul casually walked inside.

Then he looked at the little kids sitting tightly around the table, staring at him with complete suspicion, and let out a sigh.

“What’s with these kids?”

“Did the population grow while I was gone?”

“People leave, people come.”

“Sit properly.”

“Haneul oppa came from here too. He’s not weird.”

Seo Haneul sat beside Yoo Sowon and grumbled,

“Damn, I really became old news.”

“Ninety percent of them don’t know me anymore.”

Kim Sol poked his back hard with the ladle and scolded him.

“What good would it do if they recognized you?”

“Did you forget the facility’s whole policy is pretending not to know people after they leave?”

“Oh?”

“So you quote Yoo Sowon’s made-up rules only when it’s convenient?”

“Wasn’t Kim Sol the one who used to scream about being sad every time Won said that, then ended up staying here through high school anyway?”

“Seo Haneul-ssi doesn’t get dinner.”

“Hey now, is that how you treat an oppa as heavenly as me?”

“Ugh, that’s exactly the kind of thing Sowon oppa says.”

“So lame…”

Dinner continued in a noisy atmosphere.

The younger kids were excited because they were told they could finally eat as much as they wanted.

The three oldest practically had to take turns stopping them from eating too fast and choking.

Separating kids fighting over stupid things, piling more rice and side dishes onto bowls for kids asking for seconds, cutting away bruised parts of apples and sharing them around…

By the time night fell and the world outside had grown dark, everyone had finally calmed down.

“Sowon.”

Seo Haneul, staring at the old house with strange nostalgia, spoke quietly.

“Come get some air with hyung for a bit.”

Hyung had come back as a complete adult.

But Seo Haneul was still Seo Haneul.

Those dark, clear eyes and his gentle smile were exactly the same person I’d relied on for years.

Just being with him made me feel secure.

Like shelter beneath an eave.

Someone as precious to me as a real brother.

Someone still precious even now.

“You still like apples.”

I grinned while taking a few sips of apple soda.

“I like familiar things.”

“They’re sweet and taste good.”

“Our little Yoo Sowon.”

“You used to cry your eyes out whenever Kim Sol grabbed your hair, but if I bought you one apple juice, you’d stop instantly.”

“You were seriously adorable.”

“What year are you even living in?”

Pssht.

Hyung opened a can beside me.

The smooth silver surface felt unfamiliar.

“Wanna try beer?”

“Hyung. I’m nineteen.”

“So what?”

“You’ll be an adult in less than six months.”

“And you’re drinking under a guardian’s supervision.”

“What guardian…”

“Me, obviously?”

I couldn’t argue.

Even though he’d been gone for two years because of the military, he was still the biggest presence in my world.

Curiosity got the better of me in the end.

“Blegh.”

The beer tasted awful.

Bitter and fizzy with none of the sweetness I expected, plus a weird grainy aftertaste.

“It tastes bad…”

“You don’t like it?”

Hyung burst into laughter and took the can back.

“Your taste buds are still a baby’s.”

“You’ve ever seen a baby this grown?”

“Yeah.”

“One’s right here.”

“Seriously…”

We both started laughing.

I stared at him in amazement while he casually drank the thing I’d rejected.

Then his gaze shifted toward me.

“Sowon.”

“After graduation…”

“Are you gonna move out?”

The soft atmosphere instantly stiffened.

Reality had a way of doing that.

“…I don’t know.”

I’d spent my life moving through facilities.

Since childhood we’d been abandoned and pushed into colder places, harsher places.

People in similar situations stuck together and shared the tiny scraps of warmth we had.

No matter how miserable those places were, at least they kept rain off us while we slept.

Then once we reached the age where we could stand on our own, we left.

The lucky ones got adopted.

The unlucky ones found work and moved out somehow.

For us, our first success in life was escaping this poor house.

“Sowon.”

Hyung had done the same.

Back when I wasn’t running around part-time jobs trying to support the facility, he’d played the role of head of the family in my place.

Then he left at eighteen.

He dropped out of school and worked at a factory.

Even that had been considered late independence among us.

And now I was nineteen.

It was about time for me to leave too.

“Yoo Sowon.”

His voice softened.

“You can’t live in Wonderland forever.”

“This place isn’t Wonderland.”

“It’s a swamp.”

“Haneul hyung…”

“Yeah?”

“I really don’t know why I was born.”

Hyung’s expression twisted as if something sharp had stabbed straight into his chest.

After a short silence, he answered.

“Not many people in the world know that.”

“You could count them on your fingers.”

“And even if someone says they do…”

“They probably just picked a reason and decided to believe it.”

“Birth and death aren’t things humans control.”

“So no matter what reason people attach to them, who says that’s the right answer?”

“…”

“So stop saying things that sound like philosophy when you’re not built for it.”

A rough hand ruffled my hair.

His hands had gotten bigger too.

“Isn’t there something you like?”

“You loved drawing ever since you were little.”

A teasing smile tugged at one corner of his lips.

“Remember when I bought a huge box of crayons before leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“The little kids lost their minds over it.”

“And completely overshadowed the colored pencil set I bought specifically for you.”

“Come to think of it…”

“That seemed expensive.”

“Where’d you even get that money?”

My chest suddenly tightened.

What if he’d gone to a loan shark office too, just like me?

His casual voice cut through my thoughts.

“I got it after becoming an adult.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m basically an adult too.”

“What adult?”

“You’re still tiny.”

“Still fluffy.”

“I worry about you enough to lose sleep…”

“…You slept just fine.”

“Ah, you’ve gotten no fun now that you’re all grown up.”

Laughing softly, he patted my shoulder.

The touch was still rough and kind at the same time.

“Won.”

“It’s hard for people like us.”

“Living like everyone else.”

“Right?”

“…”

“But let’s not become truly poor.”

I blinked.

“If stealing clothes from donation bins and worrying over meal money isn’t poverty…”

“Then what is?”

I looked at him and asked,

“What do you think poverty is?”

“Poverty…”

Back then, I never imagined I’d remember those words for the rest of my life.

“You can tell by the eyes, Sowon.”