A Walk Home in the Sunset

It was the weekend, and I was walking down the street with my girlfriend.

The sunset, the cool breeze, and the leaves swaying on the roadside trees painted a scene straight out of an anime.

My girlfriend, dressed in a light pink blouse and a dark blue pleated skirt—her school uniform—walked gracefully beside me. Every now and then, she would brush away a stray strand of hair from her forehead, exuding a calm and elegant aura.

It really felt like a date, and a pang of bitterness welled up in my heart.

But this wasn’t a date. It was just me walking her home after club activities.

We walked in silence, and though neither of us spoke, I kept stealing timid glances at her.

The delicate profile of her face, tinged with a soft orange-red by the sunset; the curves beneath her uniform; the long, toned legs beneath her skirt, which fluttered slightly in the wind—all of it made my heart race.

“…Ling Yan.”

I wiped my sweaty palms vigorously on my clothes, took a deep breath, and softly called out to her.

“What is it, Zhou Chen?”

Ling Yan tilted her head and looked at me with a hint of confusion.

Seeing her like that, all the courage I had mustered instantly deflated.

She hadn’t realized it at all. It hadn’t been long since we last held hands, and she had already forgotten.

But I could barely hold back anymore. Just once, I told myself. I swallowed hard and forced the words out.

“…Um, can I hold your hand?”

What kind of tone was I using? Probably pleading.

After I spoke, I didn’t dare to breathe, terrified she would refuse.

Not long ago, she had agreed to let me hold her hand, but I was still afraid—afraid that her kindness was just temporary.

Because even though we had held hands, after my excitement cooled down, I could tell that Ling Yan was indifferent. It was as if she were holding not a hand, but an ordinary object.

That realization kept me from asking again.

But today, for some reason, my heart stirred again. Maybe it was because the scenery made Ling Yan look even more beautiful.

“Mm.”

Ling Yan nodded faintly, then reached out her slender, fair hand and took mine. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Great, she agreed. Even though she was still cold, this alone was enough to satisfy me.

Feeling the same cool yet soft touch as before, I was glad I had wiped the sweat off my hands. I gently tightened my grip on her hand.

This was enough. I didn’t dare hope for more.

Even though I had thought about more intimate gestures—hugs, kisses, even sleeping together—I was, after all, a healthy teenage boy.

But if that made Ling Yan hate me and eventually break up with me, I couldn’t bear it.

Because I always knew that she didn’t like me at all.

That look she gave me when she accepted my confession—it was like she was looking at a stranger. In the year we’d been together, she had never initiated any intimate gesture, not even a single date.

Anyone, no matter how dense, would have noticed.

And honestly, I knew I wasn’t good enough for her. From the moment she entered the school, Ling Yan had been popular because of her stunning beauty and elegant demeanor.

As for me? I barely scraped in with the lowest scores, added to my average looks and ordinary personality. Compared to her, I was from another world.

Later, she joined the school’s swimming team, competed in outside matches, and achieved outstanding results. Her fame spread even to other schools, and she became a campus idol.

At the time, so many people confessed to her—and they were all outstanding. After all, normally, anyone with a shred of self-awareness wouldn’t dare reach for such an unattainable flower.

But I wanted to be with her no matter what. The way she treated me back then was like a ray of warmth in the cold darkness, even if she didn’t remember.

Even so, I knew I would never succeed if I confessed. Maybe it was just self-consolation, but I thought if I could at least be her friend, that would be enough.

To my surprise, when I confessed to her that time, she agreed.

I was indescribably thrilled. But I was also blind to Ling Yan’s cold attitude toward me.

I tried to mimic the love stories I had seen, desperately trying to close the distance between us, but she kept rejecting me, avoiding me.

Until one day, when I got a little pushy because of too much cold treatment, and I saw disgust in her eyes. That was when I understood: she wasn’t dating me because she liked me.

After that, I was always polite to Ling Yan. Even if she didn’t like me, I didn’t want her to hate me.

Just a few days ago, I impulsively asked to hold her hand. I thought she would hate me again, but unexpectedly, she agreed.

Back when we first started dating, she would even flinch if I touched her lightly. I don’t know why she agreed this time, but at least it meant she might not hate me anymore.

“Zhou Chen, you worked hard again today.”

After we walked in silence for a while, Ling Yan suddenly spoke softly.

There it was again. There always seemed to be a thin barrier between us, and she was never this polite with her clubmates.

“It’s nothing. It’s what I should do.”

I answered equally politely.

Today was the weekend, so the swimming team shouldn’t have been training. But for Ling Yan, training every day was routine. She seemed to love swimming—maybe that was why she had turned down others, saying she wanted to focus on swimming.

So, to spend more time with her, I came on weekends to help out. Since we never had dates, and I could only see her in class, it wasn’t enough for me.

And I was pleasantly surprised when Ling Yan offered to let me walk her home after practice.

I knew this was her unique kindness. And that was what I had originally liked about her.

“Alright.”

Ling Yan nodded and said nothing more.

I didn’t know what to say either. I didn’t want her to hate me, so I only talked about things she was interested in. But she was only interested in swimming and never talked about herself. She also said she didn’t want to hear about my life. In the beginning, we could chat a little, but after so long, there was nothing left to say.

Still, I felt it wasn’t so bad. Walking quietly with the person I liked—that counted as a kind of date.

As time passed, I felt the cold, soft touch in my hand grow warm. And because of my nervousness, my palm began to sweat. Would Ling Yan feel uncomfortable or disgusted? Maybe I should let go.

Reluctantly, I loosened my grip and withdrew my hand. Ling Yan looked at me, puzzled.

“What’s wrong, Zhou Chen?”

“Well, how should I put it… I thought maybe holding hands for too long might make you uncomfortable or something.”

I scratched my head awkwardly and forced a smile.

Last time, she hadn’t said anything. Why was she asking now?

“No, actually, your hand is warm. It’s quite comfortable.”

Ling Yan took my hand again and smiled warmly.

She must be considering my feelings, I thought. But I couldn’t take advantage.

“That’s good to hear, but it’s fine.”

I pulled my hand away from hers. She just looked at me curiously but said nothing.

Just as I suspected.

We continued walking in silence until we reached her neighborhood.

“See you tomorrow, Zhou Chen.”

“Mm, see you tomorrow.”

I waved at Ling Yan, and without a trace of lingering, she turned and went inside.

What was her house like? I glanced at the somewhat luxurious duplex villa. She had never invited me in, and she had always rejected my invitations.

I sighed and lingered in front of her door for a moment. Maybe she would suddenly invite me in?

But reality was harsh.

In the end, I could only turn back. For the record, our homes were in opposite directions.

Passing by the school, I saw the empty, silent track field under the sunset.

I remembered that Ling Yan and I had walked on this track before, but I couldn’t recall what we talked about.

It was so long ago. I only remembered being overwhelmingly happy. Looking back now, I felt utterly embarrassed.

I knew that she was probably just using me as a shield so everyone would know she was taken.

Honestly, when I first realized that, it hurt.

But then I thought, why me? Out of all the outstanding guys, she chose me. That made me happy.

My feelings for Ling Yan were genuine—not just infatuation with her looks.

As for why we could openly engage in dating on the school track—something usually strictly prohibited for high school students…

That brings me to the school I attend: Taolisi Senior High School.

I heard it was founded by a foreigner, but I never saw any foreign students. The principal was Chinese, but the education system was different from the norm.

The school focused on holistic development—academics, clubs, and students’ mental and physical well-being were all equally important.

So the school turned a blind eye to dating, as long as it didn’t go too far.

Conventional wisdom said that would distract students and hurt their grades.

But actually, club activities and romantic relationships helped students concentrate better on their studies.

That was why I had worked so hard to get into this school—I didn’t want to suffer through rote learning anymore.

And I was grateful. If not for this school, I would never have been with Ling Yan.