Irreversible

The world was pitch black. I could not breathe.

Ji An let out a dry cough, his body weighed down by the wooden stocks. Every time he coughed, his chest burst with pain. Something was definitely broken inside, but it did not matter. I should have just died instead…!

A person cannot die from biting off their tongue. He needed to crush his head to end it, but the stocks pinning him down made even that impossible. He could do nothing. Not even die.

He felt urine trickling down. His clothes were already soiled with filth. His fingernails and toenails had long been ripped away from the brutal torture. There was not a single uninjured spot left on his body from the whips and branding irons. The stench of oozing pus and rotting flesh filled the air. It was the scent of death.

A summer night at twenty-one years old. Ji An hated that night.

He should not have listened to that strange noise back then. He should not have picked up the man who was collapsed and covered in blood. He should have run away the moment he saw him. How wonderful would it have been if he had known beforehand that what lay there was not a pitiful soul needing help, but a mass of calamity.

Just then, the prison door opened with a sharp creak.

“The stench is terrible.”

If calamity could be sculpted into a human form, it would surely have a face like that.

Ji An furrowed his brows, trying his best to clear his blurred vision. He wanted to see more clearly.

He would die soon and only his resentful spirit would remain. He would not depart for the afterlife. He would stay in this world and pray for that bastard to suffer. He would cling to his side and curse him to be miserable.

To do that, he had to memorize that face perfectly.

Soft eyes and neat lips. An elegant nose and skin whiter than a woman’s. The man looked fragile even at this very moment. That was what made it so f*cking infuriating.

Ji An burst into a laugh.

“Seeing you here, do I still have something left for you to strip away?”

Only a wheezing breath remained in his voice, completely stripped of any tone. Even so, Ji An stared at the man with beast-like eyes. I should have killed you…! I should have killed you on that summer night and died along with you! He barely swallowed down that howling cry.

“Well. I do not touch filthy meat.”

“Ah, you might say so now, but it was different in the past, was it not? Were you not more lowly than an ordinary servant?”

“…”

“Living your whole life in inferiority, you turned into something that is neither beast nor human, ruining everyone.”

The man smiled faintly at those words.

He strode forward. Despite having just complained about the terrible stench, he walked through the filth without a care and gripped Ji An’s chin. The man asked in a deliberately tender tone.

“Was it you or me who ruined everyone? Speak, hm? The ‘everyone’ you mention must refer to the Shim clan. Did the Shim clan perish because of me, or because of you? If you were not a descendant of the Shim clan, would that family have been destroyed, An?”

A tear rolled down.

Out of everything the man said, this single point was the truth. The family that had enjoyed honor for so long was destroyed because they had the misfortune of having a descendant named Shim Ji An. The man let out a small laugh as he watched the tears carve a path down Ji An’s filthy face.

“Your second older brother had to marry the daughter of a translation official, despite being a descendant of the great Shim family. Because of whom? It was because of you. In the end, he was divorced right before the family’s ruin and took his own life. Your oldest brother died along with your father while trying to save him, and your father died in prison. Your younger sisters became maidservants at such a tender age… Are you going to claim that is all because of me, An?”

Ji An slowly looked up at the man, his voice full of ridicule.

“So, what do you intend to demand from me now?”

Ji An knew him well.

The summer night of his twenty-one years had already passed. He could no longer choose to ignore or kill this calamity on that summer night. Ji An was now twenty-six, and it was after he had ruined everything. The family was gone, and the people who used to be happy were either dead or living lives devoid of dignity. He could not compensate anyone, nor could he save anyone. If he could save even a single person by throwing away his life, Ji An would not hesitate. However, he would probably not be able to save a single soul.

Yet, this bastard was not the type to come down to this filthy place and talk to him unless he needed something. He claimed he did not touch filthy meat, but at this moment, it was clear that Ji An was a piece of meat the man had no choice but to touch, no matter how dirty.

“Clever Shim Ji An.”

“…”

“The King is dead.”

The man referred to his own father as the King.

Ji An closed his eyes and asked, “So?” It was exhausting to even keep his eyes open now.

“Let us make it so that you killed him.”

“Why should I?”

“Then I will… reduce your family’s punishment to status demotion to commoners.”

Closing his eyes allowed him to think a little more clearly. His whole body throbbed, his head ached, and the world spun even with his eyes shut, but it did not matter.

“When is the execution?”

The man answered kindly to Ji An’s question.

“As soon as the dawn breaks.”

The man knew that this was a mercy to Ji An. Ji An’s body had already gone past its limit. From now on, he would just slowly die. The only difference was whether he died quickly at once, or died while suffering for a long time.

“I understand, so take your hands off my body and get the f*ck out.”

Ji An said. However, the man kept his hold on Ji An for a brief moment. Ji An did not even care to know what kind of whim it was this time. Because that bastard had always repeated his mindless actions—acting sweet, suddenly inflicting wounds, and then digging his way back in while claiming to be lonely.

I was just a fool for finding that pitiful.

“An, farewell. Do not meet someone like me in the next life.”

Ah, it seemed he wanted to act guilty this time. Ji An did not even bother to reply.

When Shim Ji An was six years old, he left the main house to wander among mages and receive training. Therefore, he did not hold much affection or a sense of duty toward his family. Perhaps that was why he could tell them to remove his name from the family registry when they opposed his marriage to that bastard.

The father was shocked by such an unfilial son and the mother wept, but his siblings actually protected Ji An. They pleaded for four days and nights that with so many people in the family, there could be at least one person who lived as he pleased, and that they would support the family so Ji An should be allowed to live freely.

That was how the marriage took place.

Ji An did not intend to sacrifice his family and siblings for that bastard. However, the man knew exactly how to make the family choose sacrifice for Ji An’s sake. By the time Ji An faintly realized the situation, he had already consumed too much of himself for that bastard. During the days when he was forcing up his barely remaining mana by using medicine, he heard the news that his family was in trouble. He heard that his brother had married the daughter of a translation official and incurred the contempt of the capital, the noble families of the capital ignored his family, and his father had been dismissed from his post.

By the time he tried to figure out the situation somehow, everything was already over.

Ji An was able to survive only because he was already royalty by marriage. Around that time, Ji An’s body had broken down due to the excessive use of mana, leaving him unable to properly gather his senses under the influence of medicine. Thus, from the King’s perspective, there was no reason to go out of his way to kill someone who would die anyway if left alone. He granted mercy, saying a son-in-law was also a son. Of course, it was strictly for political reasons, and the King did not like Ji An.

It was three days ago when the royal guards rushed into Ji An’s quarters with muddy feet while he was bedridden and sleeping every day. Ji An, who was dragged here at that time, learned during the interrogation that the King had been assassinated. Following the Crown Prince, the King had also died.

By this point, it was obvious who the mastermind behind the treason was, yet the Bureau of State Tribunals clung to Ji An as if they knew nothing. The magistrate seemed eager to extract a confession from Ji An quickly to close this matter and enthrone the man as the new King, but Ji An held out until the end. Even if he were to die, he would never confess.

As long as Ji An did not confess, they could not record it as a confession. If Ji An insisted on his innocence until the end, history would be able to guess from various circumstances later on that Ji An and the Shim clan had been framed. If so, it would also bring suspicion upon the current King for stealing the dragon throne through treason. Remain a rebellious son and a traitor forever.

The man seemed eager to rise to a glorious position and wash away his past of being treated basely, but Ji An would leave a historical stigma on him.

“I did not kill him! You all know this fact well! Who killed him? Does not everyone present in this place already know? The King, the Crown Prince, and the Grand Prince were all murdered, yet is there not one person standing here without a single scratch on his fingertips? Why, on earth, are you asking me! Are you not afraid of history’s judgment!”

Ji An bellowed. He could see the eyes of the bastard, who was already wearing the royal robes even before the King’s funeral had taken place, widening.

“What? If I take the blame for the treason, you will wrap up my family’s punishment with just a demotion to commoners instead? Since a person as petty, ignorant of the way, and forsaken by heaven as you has ascended the dragon throne, this country will fall. Do not worry about my family, because this entire nation will perish! I will die and become a resentful spirit, watching clearly with these two eyes as you ruin everyone and become a sinner of history!”

The man leaped up from his seat. Blood rushed to the eyes of the man upon realizing he would bear the yoke of a rebellious son and a usurper for the rest of his life. Ji An, who had snatched away the light the man had desired all his life, burst into a mad laugh.

“Kill him…”

Watching the man tremble violently, Ji An laughed even louder. In truth, laughing made his entire body ache terribly. Because something was broken and something was torn. However, his mind felt entirely relieved. He squeezed out every ounce of his remaining strength to ridicule him with all his might.

“How can someone like you be called the supreme ruler. I, Lee Seo, prophesy. Since a beast has put on human skin, this nation will be accompanied by disasters of water, disasters of fire, and disasters of spreading disease!”

“Did I not tell you to kill him!”

As the man shouted, the executioner hurriedly tried to grab his sword. However, the movement of a single royal guard belonging to the military command was faster. He drew his sword and accurately pierced the area where Ji An’s heart was located.

Ji An’s body jolted violently the moment he was pierced by the blade. However, Ji An did not look at the guard who stabbed him. Ji An looked at the man while his body was twisted contortedly, and smiled.

“You could not even execute me properly.”

A light burst out from behind Ji An’s body. The guard startled, let go of the sword, and stepped back. The light scattered into dozens of strands. A lonely execution ground where only one executioner, three guards, one chronicler, the Chief State Councillor, and the man existed. The light filled the inside completely.

Ji An could not even steady his bent neck and laughed with wheezing gasps. Ji An whispered.

“Murderer.”

And then, the light exploded.