The Fragile Ascent

Because it was an imagination, she was completely free. In reality, he might make love fiercely, but she continued her insertion, stroke by stroke, thinking that he would surely be gentle when doing it with someone he loved.

Since he likely had plenty of experience, would he also make playful jokes to ease the tension?

Yehi, whose only experiences existed with a dildo, could not easily picture what kind of jokes a bed partner would exchange between the sheets.

What kind of jokes would Yusin make? She was intensely curious to see the side of him that would emerge in bed—a man who normally spoke only refined, polished words like a well-wiped dish.

Would he be the type to share pillow talk after the lovemaking ended? It would certainly be sexy if a sweat-drenched Yusin moved those plump lips of his.

Even though rumors were rampant that he was a total slut, having a relationship still meant there was at least a small amount of mutual attraction.

She wanted to know what kind of face Yusin made when he looked at a woman he liked.

“Ahn…”

Following a slow insertion that began with her imagining Yusin, she successfully swallowed half of the dildo.

Yehi gently touched her plumply swollen clitoris with her fingertips, then moved the dildo so that its head struck a pleasurable spot.

Based on her calculated position, it was the exceptionally ridged area just behind the clitoris.

Every time it tapped inside, her waist lifted slightly into the air.

Her breathing shattered, and her tender inner flesh turned even more mushy.

Before she knew it, the dildo had entered completely. It felt as if her insides were entirely filled.

She loved this. She ended up seeking it every single time because she loved this sensation of filling up her empty core.

“Ah… mnh, hyung…!”

The hand gripping the dildo grew faster. The squelching, wet noises transformed into heavy, splashing sounds, echoing inside the room.

Before long, a sensation similar to an urge to urinate washed over her.

Reaching her climax, Yehi trembled finely and fell into a dead sleep, which had long since become a habit.

The following day.

A black ball cap and a black mask. A long, hooded one-piece dress that would cover her body from head to ankle, and a backpack to hold the trophy. Having finished her thorough preparations, Yehi scanned the outside through the round peephole.

There was nothing noteworthy besides a delivery box placed in front of the house opposite hers. Even after waiting a moment, no one was seen coming or going.

Since it was a late hour on a weekday, it seemed those who were going to leave their houses had already done so. Placing her hand on the front door handle, Yehi completed a short, deep breath and stepped outside.

Her legs wobbled. How wonderful would it be if she could just pick up the delivery bag outside the door like usual and hide back inside as if she had never opened it?

Extremely wary that another house’s door might suddenly swing open, Yehi used the emergency stairs instead of the elevator to walk down to the first floor.

The sunlight she hadn’t basked in for a long time was blinding.

With the hood of her one-piece dress pulled down low, Yehi blended into the crowd and headed toward the station designated by the seller.

Whenever it felt like she might bump into another person, she preemptively widened the distance. She walked with rapid strides, as if someone were pursuing her. She felt anxious, not knowing when or from what direction a stranger might approach.

With every single step she took, her heart pounded frantically. Cold sweat trickled down her spine. Even the spring breeze felt chilling.

Because she remained in a state of extreme tension the entire time, she couldn’t even hear the subway announcements. By the time she barely arrived at the designated station, she was utterly drained.

Exhausted, Yehi lowered her mask slightly and took short breaths through her nose. When she successfully secured the trophy from the storage locker on the east side of the station, her strength gave out so completely that she almost collapsed right then and there.

After rapidly stowing the trophy into the black backpack she wore on her back, she hid it by covering it with a blanket on top. She did not forget the thoroughness of transferring the remaining amount on-site and deleting her messenger account. Then, she quickly fled the scene.

While she walked through the station with quick, short steps to transfer lines, the cold sweat that had formed in beads on her forehead evaporated.

As she took off her mask and breathed normally like other people, the familiar tension transformed into a peculiar pleasure.

From the heavy bag felt against her back, the reality that Yusin’s MVP trophy was in her possession finally sank in.

“Hehehe…”

Not only had she succeeded in an outing for the first time in six years, but she had also gotten her hands on Yusin’s trophy. That fact made her feel immensely proud.

With her tension somewhat defused, Yehi merely flinched reflexively when the subway she was waiting for roared in with a massive din; she did not scratch her neck.

Even when the doors opened, there weren’t many people boarding or disembarking. It was uncrowded. Yehi scanned the scenery of people sitting sparsely on the long benches with a sense of wonder.

The sunlight passed through the glass windows, casting long shadows on the floor. A parallelogram-shaped patch of light appeared on the backrest of the opposite seat, then vanished.

The forests of tall buildings and the passing cars were countless. When crossing the Han River, the ripples on the surface of the water sparkled so brilliantly.

Though her eyes weren’t even dazzled, Yehi continuously blinked her eyelids, taking in the outside world for the first time in six years.

Until just a moment ago, everything had felt like a threat, preventing her from properly looking at the scenery.

Perhaps there had been flowers in the places she had simply passed by. Maybe apricot trees were blooming with flushed buds, or cherry blossoms were fluttering down in a gentle rain of petals.

A sense of regret surfaced too late.

On my way back, I should muster up some courage and walk slowly, she resolved, when the sliding door connecting the train cars rattled open along with the subway announcement for the next station.

Inside the uncrowded train car at noon on a weekday, that sound echoed with unusual clarity.

Several people who had been looking at their cell phones raised their heads simultaneously. Yehi also turned her gaze away from the window.

It was a middle-aged man dressed in a suit. The microphone he wore over his blue shirt was suspicious, making him look like someone other than an ordinary office worker.

Yehi scrutinized the man carefully while calming her heart, which was starting to thud harder and faster. The red lettering on the pamphlet he held in his hand caught her eye.

[Do you desire salvation?]

While Yehi stood frozen, staring at the phrase, the other passengers had already looked away.

Among those who quickly buried their noses in their phone screens or reached out to pull out their earphones to avoid getting involved, Yehi—who alone failed to manage her gaze and stood there blankly—was the perfect target.

The man approached Yehi, his oily eyes gleaming.

“Student, it’s very hard, isn’t it? Living doesn’t feel like living, does it? Our Cosmos knows all about—”

The man, murmuring while baring his buckteeth, stopped three paces in front of Yehi.

It happened just as he rumbled through his pocket to pull his hand out to hand over the pamphlet.

Yehi let out a piercing shriek and bolted toward the subway doors.

The train had just arrived at the next station. Because the train body had barely lined up with the platform, the doors had not opened yet.

Yehi pounded frantically on the closed doors, letting out death-rattle screams like an animal facing demise.

The passengers looked at Yehi with bizarre expressions. A woman carrying a child moved far away from the spot, and the man was also flustered, waving his hands around to stop Yehi while saying something.

Wailing and pounding on the doors, Yehi squeezed her body through the gap of the doors as they slowly began to part and disembarked from the subway. Then, screaming like a madwoman, she ran and ran and ran inside the station.

The people who had just disembarked from the subway and those waiting to board ended up moving out of the way one after another upon seeing her, clearing a path.

After running for a long time, Yehi finally snapped out of it only when the subway departed, the people vanished, and she was left standing entirely alone in front of a blocked wall.

“Hah, hah…”

She thought it was a knife. She thought what the man was pulling out of his bag was a knife.

Because he was wearing a suit, she thought he was that person who killed her mom and dad. She thought he had disguised himself and was lingering around, waiting for her to step outside, and had come to kill her by seizing the opportunity. She thought he was rushing at her with a knife to permanently eliminate her, the sole witness.

New people arriving to catch the subway glanced back at Yehi, who had collapsed in front of the blocked wall.

She was terrified. It felt as if the old bricks of the unfamiliar station would swallow her body at any moment, and as if a stranger would approach to harm her with that sharp blade that had taken her mom and dad away this time for sure. It felt as if the true culprit of that day were watching her from nearby, waiting for her to go to an isolated place.

Should I give up?

College admission. Employment. Or even just a walk. What did a coward like her—someone who couldn’t even do the ordinary things others did—think she was doing by stepping forward?

Come to think of it, just leaving Gwangmyeong by herself was a job well done.

So wouldn’t this much be enough? It might be better to hire a delivery proxy to deliver the trophy, as she always did.

What did the sparkling ripples or the flowers blooming in spring even matter?

Yehi tightly hugged her bag. The mini Yusin plush keychain she had attached to the bag strap tickled the back of her hand.

From afar, the announcement that a subway was approaching echoed.

A rhythmic, metallic vibration rolled through the floor.

Yehi wiped her wet face with the back of her hand and stood in front of the screen doors.

What was inside the bag was not a mere trophy. It was the golden dream that twenty-year-old Yusin had dreamed. She could not give up.

Bringing her hands to her mouth to steady her breathing for a brief moment, Yehi threw her body onto the train once more.