Chapter 7: A little bit clever(3)

[Uh… thank you for the congratulations, but…]

Should I thank you for this…?

When I hesitated for a moment, flustered by the sudden congratulations on my graduation as a virgin, Soojin seemed excited and quickly continued chatting.

[Oh right. You said you had a consultation, right?]

[Yeah. That’s right.]

I thought she was finally getting back to the main topic, but…

[No, no. Wait a minute? Yoon Ji-bin has a girlfriend. How did you do that? Could it be… Yu-ah, you…?]

That’s not it… Soo-jin…

I think I roughly know what she was thinking right now.

Since Soo-jin has a hasty personality, her delusions often get ahead of her before she understands the situation.

[You really won it? Did Ji-bin steal it from his girlfriend? Then your worries are… love issues?]

[That’s not it. You idiot.]

I knew this would happen.

She’s been writing a crazy drama in her head again.

Before I get more annoyed, I quickly clear up Soojin’s misunderstanding.

[Ji-bin broke up with his girlfriend. So now I’m single.]

[Ah… really? It’s a shame.]

[You’re sad? What’s sad?]

[No. There’s just something like that.]

It’s not like that…

I said it was a shame…

And sometimes he would act like a dopamine addict.

Maybe he wanted to hear about the love story between Ji-bin and me.

[So…]

I briefly explained the general situation to Soo-jin.

How Ji-bin got caught up with a bad woman, got hurt, and broke up with her.

And when I found out about it, I tried to comfort Ji-bin by drinking with him.

And we got drunk together and couldn’t stand it anymore and spent the night together.

But Soo-jin was just interested after hearing the story.

[Oh… so so? When is the next episode coming out?]

[Hey.]

I sent a cold-faced emoticon along with a cold-faced text.

[Sorry, sorry. The story was so interesting that I didn’t even realize it. I thought it was some web drama.]

[Stop teasing.]

[I’m serious.]

I hated the teasing, but I understood Soo-jin’s behavior.

Even as a person involved, it sounded like something out of a movie.

[So what’s the problem? Isn’t it okay for you to sleep with Yoon Ji-bin?]

Soo-jin asked me in a tone that said I really didn’t understand.

It was understandable in the first place.

Soo-jin was a friend who had been watching over my long-term unrequited love.

She even listened to my complaints and offered advice from time to time.

Even if it was just for a year or two, unrequited love was something that was frustrating to see around me.

She was a friend who had listened to me for 8 years.

So she had no choice but to want me to be more proactive.

Anyway, since Soo-jin asked, I told her what I thought.

[That’s why.]

[Yeah, yeah.]

[What if Ji-bin got hurt?]

[… What are you talking about? Why would he get hurt?]

[Think about what I did. I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend and lured him out for a one-night stand.]

[Well… if you put it that way, then it’s true?]

[How is this any different from grooming… Besides, Ji-bin probably thought I was his friend… Because I did that to him…]

Then, a silence flowed in the chat window for a moment.

As I was chewing over my guilt over my actions, a reply came back.

[Eww, you idiot]

[?]

[That’s why you haven’t been able to seduce a soft boy like Yoon Ji-bin in years. Be kind and fall for him. Really.]

Even though it was a text, it seemed like her frustration was conveyed to me.

Be kind and fall for him…?

I’ve never really thought of myself as a kind person.

I’ve never done or acted kindly.

Rather, I’ve been more of a selfish and bad person.

[Ugh. It’s frustrating. Really. I always tell you. What did I say?]

[… Love is real combat?]

[Yeah. Love is real combat and war. What’s the point of telling him that? He won’t listen.]

[Sorry…]

[Because you’re here, Yoon Ji-bin keeps meeting strange women. Are you just going to watch him meet other women? Then just give up on him.]

Give up?

I feel sorry for Soo-jin, but that wasn’t something I could control.

If I could’ve given up that easily, I wouldn’t have brought it all this way.

[I can’t… give up…]

[Then come to your senses. Na Yu-ah. You’ve been like this for 8 years already.]

Yeah. Soo-jin is right.

Of course, it’s true that it was harder for me to approach Ji-bin because I’d been dumped once.

No matter what, if I couldn’t give up, I shouldn’t have let it get this far.

[Even if I look at the current situation calmly, he’s too good for you. You know that?]

[… Huh?]

[Yoon Ji-bin doesn’t have a girlfriend right now. They just broke up and it ended badly. You’re his closest female friend. You even slept with him when you were drunk. What could be a better situation than this? On earth.]

[Is that so?]

[What is that so? Is that so. Oh my! I’m going to explode.]

How can someone like this be so cool in front of Yoon Ji-bin?

My personality was more on the timid side.

The squeaky and slightly easygoing appearance I showed to Ji-bin was more like something made up.

That way, Ji-bin wouldn’t notice that I still liked him.

That way, I could stay by his side as a friend.

Soo-jin continued to appeal to me by chatting.

[Anyway, you can’t miss this opportunity. You know Yoon Ji-bin is handsome and popular, right?]

[There’s no guarantee that he won’t get another girlfriend like this. You know? You’re on a leave of absence, but he’s still in school.]

That’s true.

Since he started his life as a YouTuber, he couldn’t be by Ji-bin’s side anymore.

He couldn’t stop new girls from latching onto him.

Chung-ha latched onto Ji-bin.

[You’ve experienced it once, so you know, right?]

[Don’t you remember when you came to me and cried, clutching your chest? Do you want to go through that pain again?]

When was that day…

It didn’t seem that long ago.

It was the day Ji-bin contacted me saying he had a girlfriend.

The other person was Lee Chung-ha from the same department, but he told me not to contact him because he didn’t want to contact you.

I was so sad that I thought Ji-bin had been taken away from me, so I went to see Soo-jin.

… Honestly, I didn’t know.

Ji-bin, who had been in a bad relationship in middle school and had become passive about relationships, would get a girlfriend so easily.

I guess I only thought about the good things about myself.

Anyway, I still vividly remember drinking with Soo-jin that day and crying until I passed out.

The pain that day was indescribable.

The size of the wound was as big as the long period of unrequited love.

I couldn’t concentrate on the broadcast, so I took a long break under the pretense of being sick even though it was early in my debut.

If you asked me if I wanted to go through that again, I absolutely didn’t.

[I don’t want that… I absolutely don’t want that…]

[Then have courage! Na-yu-ah! You can do it. You’re not Yoon Ji-bin’s type? Just change that!]

… Can I change it?

Me.

Honestly, I wasn’t confident.

Just like my obsessive tastes don’t change easily.

It wouldn’t be easy to change Ji-bin’s tastes in women either.

[You’re cute, smart, kind, and you make a lot of money now. What do you lack?]

[Right. Maja.]

But listening to Soo-jin’s words, I felt courage welling up in me…

… Yeah. What do I lack?

It’s just that my appearance and personality aren’t Ji-bin’s type.

Actually, that’s the biggest problem.

[Anyway, do you understand what I mean? Think coldly. Yu-ah. The current situation is advantageous to you. Put your guilt aside for a moment and use it to your advantage. Okay?]

[Yeah. I understand. Soo-jin. Thank you…]

That’s right.

I couldn’t keep doing this.

I couldn’t continue this unrequited love forever.

Since I knew I couldn’t give up, I had to do something.

I’m a student now, so that’s understandable, but if I were in my mid-twenties, Ji-bin might find someone to marry instead of dating.

I wouldn’t regret it then, but I couldn’t turn back.

… Courage.

No, whether it’s arrogance or spite.

I have to do something.

Yu-ah.

That’s how I made up my mind about what to do about this.

“Ugh. Ugh. Ugh!”

I rolled around the mattress, screaming out strange onomatopoeia.

My phone was in my hand, and I was hesitating, unable to send a message to Yu-ah.

I recalled the contents of the note I had left at the motel.

[Yu-ah. I think we both need time to organize our thoughts about today.]

[I’ll go back first. But let’s organize our thoughts and talk today.]

I wrote this and came back.

So if that was true, I had to contact her soon.

However, it wasn’t as easy as I thought.

I tried to organize my thoughts when I got home, but after finding out that she was Rikyuel, instead of organizing my thoughts, I just became more confused.

I couldn’t make a decision to do something like this easily.

… Oh really, what should I send?

No. What should I do now?

I hesitated while repeating countless thoughts in my head.

Woohoo.

My phone vibrated first.

I slowly turned my head and checked the screen.

[Over there. Ji-bin-ah.]

There was a message from Yu-ah there.

While I was hesitating, it seemed like she had finished organizing her thoughts first.

I let out a deep breath, feeling my heart pounding without me knowing.

My thoughts haven’t been organized yet, but I couldn’t put it off any longer.

Since Yu-ah had the courage to speak first, I had to go with the flow.

… If we talk together, something will work out.

With that in mind, I opened the message window.

[Is this time okay? I want to talk about what happened today.]

[Uh. It’s okay.]

I answered bluntly with awkward hand movements.

Yu-ah’s tone of voice was a little different than usual, as if she was watching me.

However, contrary to my expectations that she would start talking right away, she started talking about something else first.

[But before we talk about that, there’s something I want to ask you…]

What do you want to ask?

I waited for her to speak without replying for a while.

Yu-ah continued asking questions.

[Did you get a call from me on my phone this morning?]

‘… That was a question I really didn’t expect.’