Chapter 8: A little bit clever(4)

[Did you get a call on my phone this morning?]

When she asked that question, the world stopped for a moment and I broke out in a cold sweat….

Uh… What should I say to that…?

Of course, there was nothing wrong with the act of answering the phone.

However, if Yu-ah really was Rikyuel as I had expected, the intention behind that question was clear.

She must have been worried that her identity would be revealed to me through that call.

A family that could really protect her secret.

Except for a few people, it was better for a virtual YouTuber’s identity not to be revealed to anyone.

It had a big impact on her image and future activities.

There was also the possibility of safety issues.

At the time, I was in a hurry to leave, so I just thought about answering the phone and hanging up.

I didn’t think about what would happen after that….

Ugh.

Should I just let it go like this?

Are you Rikyuel?

That wasn’t a bad choice.

It would have cleared up my unresolved curiosity.

But let’s leave it at that.

What about Yu-ah?

She was an old childhood friend, and even a guy she slept with.

Internet broadcasting, and the fact that she’s not an ordinary broadcaster but a virtual YouTuber, will be discovered.

She’ll have to admit that she’s been lying to me about being a freelance illustrator.

Not only that, but now that she knows that, she’ll be nervous about broadcasting in the future and meeting me…..

Is she watching my broadcast?

Right now?

Or has she been watching my broadcast recently?

If even an embarrassing video were to come up, she’d be nervous that I’d catch her.

I’ve always been the type to tease her about her shortcomings.

…Is that really that good for Yu-ah, or for Rikyuel?

There are levels to broth.

The blackened broth turrets that dig into the private lives of idols and sound the siren are the lowest of the low.

Real broth wants idols to broadcast comfortably and do well.

They endure the broth chat that interferes with their broadcasts and create an environment for her to do well in broadcasts.

They just quietly help and cheer for their favorites from behind without expecting anything in return.

That’s real broth.

If I had to divide it between the former and the latter, I was closer to the latter.

A true Lee Yuk-soo who was truly captivated by her charm and supported her every move.

So honestly, I didn’t really want to do anything that would get in her way.

I also wanted to protect Yu-Ah’s dignity as a human being.

Being a virtual YouTuber isn’t something to be ashamed of, but it’s not easy to be confident either.

In times like these, wouldn’t it be better to pretend not to know?

That decision quickly went through my head in a short amount of time.

Once I made up my mind, I took action right away.

If I reply too late, it might feel suspicious.

[Yeah. I got it. I hung up right after I got it? Why?]

[No, I was just wondering if you heard anything strange there…]

[Something strange? What was strange?]

Yeah.

You’re doing well.

I’m pretending not to know anything at all.

Starlight, Rikyuel, and Collaboration Cafe were all words I had never heard before.

[At that time, I had just woken up and was half-asleep, so I hung up right away because it was noisy?]

[Oh… really?]

[Oh. So I don’t even remember what we were talking about properly.]

[Well…that’s fortunate…]

Even though it was a chat, I could see Yu-ah’s face.

That face of relief.

[What was it? Was that it? The obscene drawing outsourcing you mentioned yesterday?]

[…Hey. Do you want to die?]

[No, not really. It’s because you’re saying something suspicious. Like it’s something I shouldn’t hear.]

I was satisfied with my own witty topic-changing skills.

At this point, this topic wouldn’t come up again.

She would live her life without knowing that I knew that she was Rikyuel.

I thought that wasn’t the attitude of a true Virtuber fan.

Pretending not to know even if she knew.

Thanks to her question, my conviction only grew stronger.

Now, I’m almost 99% sure she’s not Rikyuel.

[So, am I done wondering?]

[Uh…yeah. It’s over.]

Anyway, the more I do that, the quicker I wrap up this topic.

That’s what both of us wanted.

And there was more important content left between us.

[Then let’s get to the main point…]

[…yeah.]

[What happened today.]

But I’m the man.

And since Yu-ah had the courage to speak first, I’m going to be the first to start an awkward conversation with her.

[First of all, I’m sorry. I guess I was drunk and couldn’t tell right from wrong.]

[Huh…?]

Then I get a strange reaction in return.

But I tell her the truth.

[Actually, I don’t remember well. What happened yesterday. My vision was so blurry.]

[Anyway, I think we both drank and made a mistake. I don’t know who made a mistake first.]

[I don’t think that’s important.]

[So…you’re probably as confused as I am.]

[If there’s something you want, I’ll try to make it happen. What do you want to do in the future? What do you want to do?]

…It might be a little unfair, but.

In any case, in Korea, in situations like this, it’s usually the man’s fault.

For me, who doesn’t remember the drinking party, the best thing to do was to tell her this.

[If there’s something you want, I’ll try to make it happen. What do you want to do in the future? What do you want to do?]

When I received the text from Ji-bin, I realized the moment I received it.

He really didn’t remember most of what happened yesterday.

…If he did remember, he wouldn’t have reacted like that.

The confession-like comment I made while drunk.

And the emotional kiss I gave him first without realizing it.

It made no sense for Ji-bin to resist all the temptations I made while he wasn’t sober.

So I was mostly responsible for what happened yesterday.

If it was his fault, he just couldn’t resist and fell for my tricks.

If Ji-bin didn’t remember, it was actually a good thing for me.

Yesterday was full of bad things for me.

It wouldn’t have been bad for me if it had just passed without a hitch.

However, if there’s one thing I regret …is that Ji-bin doesn’t remember a single thing about my confession.

To be honest, I might have secretly expected it.

If he remembered even a little bit of what I said while drunk.

Our relationship might move forward a little more.

The expression of affection that I couldn’t make with my mind because I was so scared.

It might be a little fortunate that it happened like this.

However, life was not that easy.

It was as if the God of Love was telling me, ‘A confession that you didn’t have the courage to say is meaningless.

That’s how Ji-bin’s memories were taken away.

“……Do it?”

Was it the effect of the conversation I had with Soo-jin earlier?

At that moment, a very bad thought crossed my mind.

The worst but best option I could make by taking advantage of Ji-bin’s lack of memories.

I would tell him this.

He slept with me, so take responsibility for me.

This happened quite often.

Starting with a physical relationship and naturally moving on to a relationship.

It was something that was completely possible from the moment he didn’t know that he was the one who made the mistake.

Perhaps, a woman as clever as Lee Chung-ha would have done it more than enough.

With just that one thing, I could have ended this painful unrequited love of eight years.

Without any effort, very easily.

Ji-bin would have been more than capable of taking responsibility for me.

She’s such a responsible and kind girl.

Even if she didn’t like me that much, she’d probably date me just because of the sense of responsibility.

After all, having a woman’s virginity was a pretty big deal.

If it were up to her, she wouldn’t be able to break up with me and would probably be stuck with me.

But…

“No. No. Don’t think bad thoughts. Yu-ah.”

The devil’s offer was so sweet that I wanted to just ignore it.

But I fiercely resisted the temptation.

It might be a shortcut, but I knew that it wasn’t the right way.

…And if it was done wrong, it would leave feelings and hurt each other.

And aside from that, it was too cowardly.

Using someone’s goodwill to bind that person.

I didn’t want to go that far to win Ji-bin’s heart.

Then my conclusion was.

[Then Ji-bin. Let’s just forget about this.]

[What?]

[Let’s just forget about it. Let’s pretend it never happened. Let’s think of it as a mistake we made one night while drinking.]

It was a reset.

It was right to start over rather than choose to progress in an impure relationship.

…Being friends again.

That was the right way to make him mine.

[What do you think? Are you okay?]

[Uh… I’m okay. Are you really okay with that?]

I knew what he was worried about.

There’s a difference between a man’s first experience and a woman’s first experience.

But if he had offered that first experience to Ji-bin, I didn’t feel wronged.

[Yeah. It’s okay.]

I wanted to add, “If it were you,” but I held back.

I shouldn’t have said that because he didn’t see me as a woman yet.

After I gave him permission, Ji-bin came to a conclusion coolly.

[Okay. If that’s what you think, then I get it. Then let’s just say that today never happened. Let’s just say we’re friends like we always were.]

[Yeah. That’s right. We.]

My heart hurts when Ji-bin says he’s my friend, but I hope that someday the word between us will change to something else.

Instead…

Instead of that…

Like Soo-jin said, it’s too bad to end this good situation like this…

[But Yoon Ji-bin. Do you remember that you agreed to work out with me yesterday?]

[Workout? Me?]

I’m going to be a little bit smarter too.

…Just a little bit.