Chapter 19: Overflowing Heart(1)

I looked at her outfit for a moment as I waited for Yu-ah in front of the station closest to the school.

Today was the day I was going to meet my mother-in-law, or rather, Yu-ah’s mother.

I checked my reflection in the store window in front of me.

“Hmm. Are you okay…?”

After the vacation, Yu-ah and I might have a conflict in our schedules.

I thought it would be good to see her once before the vacation ended.

It had been a while since I last saw her—Yu-ah’s mother.

Actually, the real reason was that she asked me to help her make kimchi.

But that was more or less an excuse; I knew that Yu-ah’s mother just wanted to see my face.

I had helped with most of the big things at Yu-ah’s house since her father passed away.

I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt and thought to myself about what would be better.

Is it better to let them down? Or is it better to roll up the sleeves? It looks cooler this way… or not… Is it more gentle…? When I touched one, I noticed the other.

Should I wear my shirt tucked in or out? Or should I curl my hair more? Even such trivial things were weighing on my mind.

“What are you doing? Are you on a date? Or are you really going to a meeting?”

I looked at my reflection for a moment and then found myself dumbfounded.

Doesn’t it seem like I’m trying to look good for someone? Both Yu-ah’s mother and Yu-ah had seen my ugly appearance since they were young.

Why would I care so much now?

‘… But I did care.’

It was really bothering me.

For some reason, my brain and heart were playing separately.

My head understood that there was no need to do that, but my eyes kept looking at the glass window.

“…What’s really going on? Do you really like Nayua just because you slept with her for one night?”

I tried to talk to my reflection in the glass, of course, in a small mutter that no one else could hear.

Yes. Let’s be honest.

These days, whenever I meet yu-ah, I dress up for no reason.

I can’t just go out wearing slippers and a short-sleeved shirt like I used to.

Even when I go to the gym with her, I try to find clothes that I like and wear them.

I aim to dress casually but not sloppily.

It was a relationship full of wounds, but I already knew from two experiences that this was a trick to gain favor from the other person.

And that the person I wanted to gain favor from was none other than Na Yu-ah.

‘…That’s why I was going crazy.’

Was it because I knew she was Rikyuel?

Or because we spent a night together?

Or was it both?

How could I be attracted to that little girl who wasn’t even my type?

And to Na Yu-ah, who I had never thought of as a woman in the 10 years we spent together.

On the one hand, it hurt my pride, but I didn’t want to admit it.

But Na Yu-ah was Rikyuel… That’s right…

On the other hand, I acknowledged that Rikyuel was my ideal type.

So it was difficult to completely deny my feelings for her.

Because that would be the same as saying that I didn’t like Rikyuel.

The soul of Rikyuel inside me couldn’t accept that at all.

In the end, I was just wandering around, unable to figure out anything.

“Haa… I’m going crazy…”

As I was saying that while running my hand through my hair, someone suddenly appeared next to me and grabbed my shoulder.

“Hi, hi. What are you doing? Right now? Self-absorbed?”

“What?”

“No. While running my hand through his hair, he was looking at his own face through the store window and going, ‘Haa… I’m going crazy.. Isn’t that totally f*cking narcissistic?”

“…Yeah. I wish that were true, you little punk.”

I slapped Yu-ah’s hand that was touching my shoulder.

The part of my body where her hand was touching felt hot for no reason.

This little punk probably doesn’t even know that I’m doing this because of him.

Because I used to think that it would be better if I loved myself too much to not have feelings for my friend of 10 years.

I quickly changed the subject to clear my mind.

At times like this, blaming others was the best.

“…More than that, why are you here so late? Did you oversleep again?”

Even I, a 0-group type, woke up early to match her.

How dare I be late for our meeting.

But I understood.

Rikyuel was on air late yesterday too.

I just watched it.

Yua looked at me with a really angry tone and laughed.

“Women need time to dress up, baby.”

“Damn it. Since when did you start dressing up like that?”

“You don’t know. How much do I dress up when I go out? It’s because I don’t go out much. Huh?”

At her words, I unconsciously scanned her.

A cute black one-piece dress with a straw hat.

Her shoulders were slightly exposed, making her look cool and sexy.

The matching sandals went well together…

She looked like a girl who came on a summer vacation with her dad.

Honestly, she’s cute.

But I can’t say that.

“What’s with the straw hat? Are you Luffy? Then, do your arms grow too?”

“Want to get hit with your grown arm? Let me taste rubber?”

Yua, who was swinging her right arm around and looking for a real angle to hit.

Even that appearance didn’t have any threatening aura, but was just plain petty and cute.

It was just everyday conversation with her, but now I was intentionally teasing her.

This was because it felt like I was with my friend Nayua.

Because I felt less rational.

I could act as usual without hesitation.

She looked at my outfit and said to me with a sinister smile,

“What are you? Why did you dress up like this today? Are you so excited to meet my mom?”

Actually, it’s also because of you.

Those thoughts lingered in my mind, but they never came out.

“Yeah. You have to look good in front of your mom. She’s been so nice to me. Unlike you.”

“What didn’t I do for you? You’re suddenly getting angry.”

“I want to ask what I did for you?”

“You come to meet me dressed like a slut… and suddenly it’s annoying.”

“What do you think you’re pretty for, you dress up when you meet me.”

“… What?”

Yu-ah looked at me with a face that seemed to cool down at those words.

For some reason, I could even sense a little resentment in her eyes.

It was clearly a routine bickering, but something felt different just now.

“… Okay. What do I want from you? Let’s just hurry up and go.”

Her tone was full of sullenness, unable to hide her emotions.

Her body quickly turned in the opposite direction as if she didn’t want to even look at my face.

I didn’t know where it was, but it was clear that Pinto had left.

Since I hadn’t been with her for more than a few years, I could tell right away.

“What? Are you really upset?”

“What are you upset about? I’m not upset.”

“Wow. You’re really upset. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sorry, so forgive me.”

“… I’m not upset! If you keep insisting that I’m upset, I’ll leave you behind?”

Yu-ah suddenly snapped.

I kept my mouth shut at those words and thought to myself.

What are you upset about? You’re really upset.

I was grumbling too, watching her pouty lips from the side.

About an hour away by subway.

Yu-ah’s parents’ house was about that far from the school.

We were both born and raised in Seoul, but after Yu-ah started college, my mother moved a little further out.

Since Yu-ah lives alone, she has to pay the expensive rent and living expenses.

I trudged behind Yu-ah, who was far ahead…

She has short legs, but why does she walk so fast?

I barely managed to catch up to her and tried to lighten the awkward atmosphere.

“Hey. Me too.”

“Oh really, Na yu-ah, you’re upset again.”

“…Shut up.”

The reply I got was still cold.

But I know.

Any kid who has had a girl as a childhood friend will know from experience that this coldness is definitely not “I’m really pissed, so get out of here!”

It’s more like “please me until I feel better!”

I try to tease her gently.

“If you let me go, I’ll get off later and buy you ice cream. What do you think?”

“…I told you there’s nothing to let me go. And what am I, a 5-year-old? You’ll let me go if I buy you ice cream?”

She responds to me as if she’s dumbfounded.

She’s letting me go… I saw her last time…

I get on the subway with her, who’s walking ahead of me.

When I get inside, there’s a group of people huddled together.

There were already a lot of people inside, but there were also a lot of people getting on behind us, so we naturally got squeezed in.

I can’t find a seat and get squeezed in between the people.

Yua, who’s leaning against the wall right next to the entrance, grabs my arm and pulls me.

“Whoa.”

“What are you doing, you idiot? Come to work.”

I barely manage to maintain my balance as I take a few steps and stand facing her.

Yu-ah takes care of me while sticking out her pouty lips.

She really is a tsundere.

Still, it seems that the fact that she kept nagging me next to her made me feel a little better.

The entrance door slammed shut, and a crowd of people filled the place.

I awkwardly made eye contact with Yu-ah right in front of me.

Yua was just hurt, but now that it was like this, she spoke in a squeaky tone, as if embarrassed.